Chapter 9
“Let’s start all over again, just to be sure” Bette said, tossing the script she had in her hands to the floor to avoid reading it.
“I think we already practiced enough, baby”, Tina reassured her. This version of the brunette was endearing to her. She was usually so sure of herself as an actress, so calm about her interpretations, but sometimes she would lose it over the smaller details. Her search for perfection was something Tina hadn’t had the chance to appreciate during all the years they worked together, and now that she could see it, she understood why Bette Porter was Bette Porter.
“Just one more time, please”, she pleaded. “We can’t fuck up this, and she’s going to ask how we met and all that bullshit.”
“Yeah, you’re right”, Tina agreed. She didn’t care that much, in reality, but seeing Bette so nervous made her want to do everything in her power to help her out. She straightened up in her armchair and started recounting the story they had to tell. “So, I’ve always watched the show and thought you were beautiful…”
“And the first time you came into set, I mistook you for another actress I didn’t like” Bette, continued.
“Yeah, and you acted like a jerk.”
“I really don’t like that part of the story. I would never do that”, Bette protested.
“But we signed that stupid contract”, Tina reminded her. “Plus, no one is going to care. And it’s this or telling the truth, which I’m not ready for and is no one’s business.”
“No, me neither. And you’re right.”
“I’m used to it” Tina said with a smirk, and closed the distance between them, getting into Bette’s armchair and climbing into her lap. She kissed her, trying to convey all the calm that the brunette wasn’t feeling in the kiss. They weren’t going to fuck up any interview because they were good actors, but among everything, because now they were together for real, and that kind of thing was visible through any screen, it didn’t matter what silly story they’d tell.
Bette responded to the kiss, circling her arms around Tina’s torso and pulling her closer. They stood like that for a while, kissing unhurriedly, enjoying the spare moments that they could have in these last, hectic days of filming. They were two weeks out of wrapping up the filming of season seven, and everyone was kind of losing their minds trying to meet every deadline.
Tina enjoyed these little things now, getting to taste Bette’s soft lips in the middle of a little read-through of their scripts, or searching for her touch to reassure herself while they were filming some scene. Having Bette on her side was something she had never thought about, as caught up in their problems as she had always been, but it turned out to be the most natural, comforting thing in the world. The brunette was aware of everything going on behind the scenes and always knew when to push for their characters to have more relevance, when to back down and when to refuse to do her part to oblige everyone else to do theirs. Tina had often thought that she was a control freak, but she understood now she was a professional through and through, in every sense of the word. And, well, also a little bit neurotic. But that was actually endearing if you had her on your side.
“This thing is going to turn out all right, isn’t it?” Bette asked, pulling away just enough to be able to talk. She looked up at Tina, still towering over her, with both legs around her, creating the most delightful moment of calm.
“It will.” Tina affirmed, as if doubting it was the silliest thing in the world.
She leaned down to kiss Bette again, but this time it was because she needed to shut up. Because if she spent one more second looking at those brown, doe eyes that looked at her like she held the truth of everything in the world, she was going to say three little words that were way too much to say this early in their new, fragile relationship.
-
“Today is just one of those days that I know it’s going to drain me.” Tina said, looking at herself in the mirror in the middle of the make-up room.
“Same” Dana agreed, from the other side of the room.
“Just don’t overthink it” Shane, ever the peaceful one, tried to calm them down. “We’ll do our work today and everything will work out fine because next year we’re going to be back to film season eight. I’m sure about that.”
“Shaney is right” Helena agreed. They were doing some kind of make-up on her that made her green eyes pop up so much, she looked mesmerizing. “Besides, T, you’re the one who should be less worried about this. Whatever happens, your popularity skyrocketed in the last few months. You’ll land a big role anywhere after this.”
“No, but I understand Tina”, Bette interrupted the conversation. Her voice was steady, but Tina could tell she was nervous too about how this last day of shooting would unfold. “This show’s something that we won’t have anywhere else. This story is so special, and you guys… I really want to come back and work with you all again. And I really want to keep telling Emma’s story.”
Everyone stayed silent for a while, letting the words of the brunette sink in. She wasn’t normally one for big statements, but when she did, it felt like she could say just the right thing to make everyone cry.
“You know, I kinda miss when you two hated each other” Alice broke the silence. “Then Bette here wasn’t so sappy, and we weren’t all about to ruin our make-up.”
“We can go back to that if it makes you feel more comfortable!” Tina joked, in the middle of the laughs from the group.
But it’s not really a joke, she thought then. It’s just a matter of saying the wrong thing.
-
The last scene of “Dupont and Associates” seventh season was one they had to film on location, just outside the courthouse. They had travelled to New York two days prior, and production had managed to lock down the whole place for a day, just so they could do their thing. It was a nerve-wrecking experience for most of them (moving a whole cast and all the scenery and cameras across the country was hard, but having to shoot so many scenes in just one day was even harder), and Tina felt like she was facing one of those challenges that could potentially define her whole career.
“What I want to see now is relief, Tina” Irene instructed her. “You just won the biggest case of your career when everyone thought you were doomed. And you proved them all wrong. So, I need to see that relief, but also, that victory in your face.”
“I feel proud”, she replied. “I feel so proud of Laura, because she worked her way through all those doubts and all the shit that she faced this season. I feel like relief is a good emotion, but it doesn’t convey that pride, and that huge, huge win that Laura finally had.”
Irene nodded, deep in thought.
“I like that approach. I really do. Let’s roll with that.” The director agreed.
“But then there’s the encounter with Emma.” Bette, who was listening closely, pointed out. “And that’s a whole different story.”
“It is.” Irene nodded, quickly flipping the pages of the script to reach the scene they were talking about. “The thing is that after they decided to end their affair, Laura left her girlfriend because she realized she was still in love with Emma, but Emma didn’t have the guts to leave Carla. And now Laura is navigating that pain of not being the one that her love chose.”
“She’s just faking it ‘til she makes it”, Tina said. “That’s what makes more sense to me. Laura’s in the middle of a huge professional breakthrough, and of course she’s hurt. But I’d hate it if she was only defined by her relationship, or her love interests.”
“Yeah, of course, but Emma and Laura have this sort of symbiotic relationship, you know? They are defined by one another.” Irene stated, leaving no room for discussion.
Tina sighed. She hated it when her character was belittled like that, but that was a fight to fight in season eight, hopefully.
“I just feel like I’ll just… run to you, and we’ll know what to do, babe” Bette said, the pet name slipping in the middle of her professional mood. Irene stepped aside, indicating to them that they had five minutes to get ready before the cameras started rolling.
Tina reached for Bette’s face, pulling a strand of hair behind her ear and caressing her cheeks for a little while.
“Just give me a good luck kiss” Bette asked, with a voice so soft it could melt icebergs. “And we’ll rock this thing.”
Five minutes later, Tina was walking down the stairs of the courthouse, a smile of pride plastered on her face. She looked up to the sky, as if taking in the moment of glory that she had just managed to obtain. She clutched her briefcase to her chest, reaching the last of the steps, when she heard Bette calling her from her left.
“Laura! Laura!” the brunette sounded breathless, as if she had just run a half-marathon. “Laura, wait!”
She looked at her with her lips parted in surprise.
“Emma?” she asked, arching an eyebrow. “What the hell are you doing here?”. She managed to sound both hurt and surprised, a feeling that she would have really felt if she was in that circumstance.
“How did it go? The trial?”
“Oh, we won” the blonde affirmed. “Which is… huge for me.”
“Are you kidding me?” the other woman exclaimed, excited. “Congratulations! That is huge!” she stretched her arms to engulf her in a hug, but Tina quickly recoiled.
“Thank you”, she said, simply. “But I have to ask you again, what are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be in Colorado, with Carla’s family.”
“Oh, Laura…” the brunette said, regret lingering in her voice. “I couldn’t bring myself to go there. Not when I still think about you all the time, when I still want you to be the one that’s waiting for me at home.”
Tina tilted her head, confusion filling her eyes.
“But I thought you said…” she started, but Bette quickly interrupted her.
“I know, but I was wrong. All this time…” She looked around, as if trying to find the perfect words. “I know how bad I fucked this up in the past. And I know how much I hurt you, because I hurt myself too in the process. But I just, I can’t…” she brought one hand to her chest, as if she was trying to rip her heart out. “I can’t live life without you. And I tried, because sometimes I feel we would be better off apart, but…” tears started falling down her eyes, and Tina marveled for a split second at how good of an actress she was.
“But what, Emma?” she pushed, softly.
“But I love you more that anything. And if you want me to crawl to you every day for the rest of my life for you to forgive me for how much of an asshole I was to you, I will do it.” She was out of breath at this point, trying to convey everything that couldn’t be put into words. “I just want one more chance to prove to you that I’m the one you should choose, because I chose you, Laura. Over my career, and my ambitions, and every stupid thing that I have. Because they all mean nothing if I can’t have you.”
Instead of answering, Tina took Bette’s face in both her hands and pulled her towards herself, catching her lips in a kiss that was overwhelming for all her senses. She could feel Bette responding to it immediately, devouring her mouth with a desperation that was exactly what Emma was supposed to be feeling at the moment. They kissed for a while, intertwining themselves, not caring a bit about the mess they were making of each other’s hair and clothes.
“AND CUT!” Irene screamed, thrilled. The whole crew erupted in cheers, congratulating one another in the wrapping up of such a challenging season. “That was so, so, so amazing” the director said, approaching them. “The changes that you made in the script, Bette… They were subtle, but excellent. Congratulations to you two.”
They looked at each other, grinning, Tina still hanging from Bette with an arm firmly wrapped around her shoulders.
“It’s easy with such a co-star” the brunette said, leaning down to leave a tiny peck on Tina’s lips. “It has always been.”