Chapter 1
“I swear to God” Bette said, walking faster to get away from the scene she was filming moments ago, “if I have to spend any more time with her today, I’ll throw myself under the closest bus I can find.”
“When was the last time you saw a bus?” Claire, her assistant, asked.
“What?”
“Just out of curiosity. I think you are going to have trouble finding one ‘cause you probably don’t even know what they look like.”
“Claire.” Bette interrupted her. She was most definitely not in the mood for her usually well received sassy comments.
“What? I’m just saying. You better start googling buses because in…” she checked the watch on her wrist, but knowing her, Bette suspected it was just an act to call her out on her poor behavior “half an hour, fourth-five minutes maybe, you’re going to meet with her again to film some more scenes. Need anything at the moment?”
“I already asked for a bus to run me over.”
“And I told you, you’re overreacting. She’s not that bad. Although she also seems like wanting a bus to run her over when she’s in the same room with you.” Claire was openly laughing by now. God only knows what she found so funny, Bette thought.
“Of course she does. ‘Cause she’s the worst.” She stepped into her trailer, already taking her shoes off. “And no, I don’t need anything. An assistant who’s on my side, maybe. But apart from that, I’m all good.”
“Nice, boss. See you later.”
Bette closed the door behind her, already exhausted. If this is how it was going to be, then she would need something to get through filming and press and whatever the producers wanted her to do. Yoga, maybe. Alcohol, for sure.
Or a bus to run her over.
-
“You see, this is not just your story to tell.” Tina said, pretending to be casual. She wasn’t feeling, in fact, casual at all. What she really wanted was to take her co-worker’s face and scream at her that she didn’t give a flying fuck about what sounded more reasonable to her, because she was not the one writing the scripts, thank God. Instead, she just made short but acid comments.
“Oh, I know that. All that I’m saying is that after everything that Emma’s been through when she first cheated on Laura, it doesn’t make sense that they go back to each other through an affair. Has she not learned anything?”
That makes sense, Tina thought. Instead, she said:
“Well, obviously not. She’s not the kind of person who learns from mistakes.”
“Let’s not talk about Laura, then. She made this whole deal about being cheated on, and now she’s the mistress of her own ex. That’s fucking messed up. I understand why you portray her so well.”
Tina laughed bitterly before clicking her tongue.
“Manipulative, proud beyond belief, selfish” she counted, putting a finger in the air for every description that came to her head “self-centered, rude, all-around terrible person. Am I talking about Emma or about you?”.
“Ok, that’s enough.” Sam, the executive producer, exclaimed from the other side of the table.
Oh, right. They were at a read-through and the rest of the cast was there too, Tina reminded herself. She sank into her chair and emptied her brain, more than willing not to listen to a single thing that was about to be said.
She had been on the show for three seasons now, and it wasn’t getting any prettier with her co-star. They were an incredible on-screen couple, with a shared chemistry that almost no one could ignore, but as soon as the cameras were not filming, they would bark at each other like they couldn’t even stand to share the same air.
Which they couldn’t.
“You know, mate” Helena approached Tina after the meeting was done, “I get that you don’t like her and, she doesn’t make it easy, but we would all appreciate a calm environment for once.”
“Well, I’m sure there’re plenty of shows you can audition for. You know, with actresses who love each other and stuff.”
“Oh, come on, I’m not asking you to love her,” Helena argued. The stubbornness of her friend never ceased to amaze her. “But being civil can’t be that hard. Just, you know, come here, do your thing, go home. It’s just four months, Tina. Then you have the rest of the year to hate her from afar.”
“You know I love you, my friend, but you’re actually so wrong.” Tina stretched her arm to reach for the coffee that was being handed to her, while Helena did the same for her black tea. “We spend four months here, filming. Then we have interviews, conventions, and God knows what else. And all that time I must pretend that I like her or, worst, that I’m in love with her.”
“Well, you’re really good at that”, Helena pointed, earning a hatred glare from her friend. “I mean, you are! People love you both together and honestly, when I watch the scenes that you make, I can’t believe that you’re actually… like this in real life.”
“I’m good at my job, that’s it”, Tina stated. She was already so over this conversation.
“I don’t doubt that. But I never understood the weird dynamic you both have. I spent time with Bette and she’s not bad. Quite charming, actually. Is there anything that she did, or does, that you don’t tell me?”
She sounded worried, Tina thought. And she had reasons, of course. It was true that they were making everybody’s job a little bit more difficult with their attitude towards each other, but Tina couldn’t help it. Being around Bette was nearly impossible, and as time went on, it got more and more difficult.
“She’s an idiot, Helena. She’s self-centered, she wants to control everything, and she takes no accountability for the things she does wrong. I’m sorry this is taking a tool on everybody, but I just can’t. Be civil, I mean.”
Helena sighed, worry still etched on her clear eyes.
“Okay. I still think there’s something else you’re not telling me, but I’ll be here if you ever want to talk. Just, please, take it easy.”
“I’ll try” Tina said, getting into her trailer.
But she couldn’t.
-
Bette ran her tongue along Tina’s neck, stopping right behind her ear. Damn, she tasted good. She pressed a light kiss there, while the blonde’s left hand played with her brown curls.
“I like that” Tina said, with a husky voice, barely louder than a whisper.
“I know you do. But I know a couple things you like more.”
She lifted the other woman on top of the desk, not caring a bit about the papers scattered there or the pens that fell to the floor to make room for the blonde. Legs parted, skirt lifted to her waist, shirt half unbuttoned and lower lip between her teeth; she was a sight to be seen.
Bette devoured her with her eyes before moving forward to capture her lips in a heated kiss. Tina’s moaned softly in her mouth and used her free hand to pull her closer. When she felt the blonde’s tongue teasing hers, she slid her hand under the other woman’s skirt, tracing her underwear with her fingertips before pulling it down, softly.
“I love you” the blonde said, in between kisses. “But please, please, fuck me.”
“Oh, I will” Bette said, laughing against Tina’s lips. “And I love you too, Laura.”
“CUT!” the director screamed, from her chair behind the camera.
Both actresses jumped at the sound, pushing away from each other as if the contact burned their skin. Bette ran a hand through her hair, trying to arrange the mess that her co-worker’s hand had made with it. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw one of the crew members putting a blanket around Tina’s shoulders, so the blonde could get dressed again.
“That was superb.” The director said, patting her shoulder. “Perfect, I’d say. The audience will go crazy.” She turned around so both could hear her. “As always with you two, the first shot was the perfect one. We’re gonna do some crazy stuff together this season.”
Bette laughed softly.
“Whatever you said, Irene. I’m good at the first shot so I can be out of here as fast as possible.” She reached for the door, ready to go back to her trailer, or maybe to the food tracks, or anywhere far from her half-naked, half-fucked co-star.
“And I appreciate that but sadly…” Irene stopped the brunette by holding her by the wrist, “you can’t be out of here just yet. Sam asked me to have a meeting with the both of you as soon as this shooting ended. So, you know where his office is.”
“No.” Tina stated, sharply, from the other side of the room. She was dressed up already, with her hair in a messy bun. “She can go first and I’ll go second, it’s okay. Separate reunions will be easier for all involved.”
She looks beautiful and reasonable, Bette thought. A beautiful and reasonable jerk.
“I appreciate your kindness, Tina.” Irene said, with irony lingering in her voice. “But I don’t care how much you dislike each other, when the executive producer asks for a reunion with the both of you, you just go. No questions asked.”
Bette groaned loudly, but held the door open for the blonde to get through it first.
“Oh, how chivalrous of you” Tina said ironically. “I still hope this is a meeting to fire you.”
“Darling, don’t be naïve. They could never fire me. I just hope they tell us how Laura is going to die, and that Emma is going to find someone hotter and less idiotic while grieving.”
They send snarky comments to each other during the whole five minutes that took them to get to Sam’s office. It was a nice office, with posters hanging on the wall of them both with the rest of the cast, all dressed up and posing as the lawyers they represented on TV. ‘Dupont and associates’ was already in its seventh season, and it was about the lives and loves of some high-end lawyers from a New York buffet. Bette had been in it since the premiere, being the leading actress, and as much as they had tried to pair her with some of her male colleagues, nothing made such an impact as when the character of Laura came in the fourth season and started a torrid romance with Emma.
They were something else entirely.
People went crazy about the ship, so in the last couple of seasons the plot had turned mainly around them. For as much as she wished that Tina’s character was being killed off at some point so she would be out of set, she knew that was never going to happen. They were carrying the show on their shoulders.
“I bet you wonder why you are here.” Sam said, clearly not comfortable with what he was about to inform them.
Both actresses nodded, avoiding the other’s gaze.
“Well, this is not easy for me because I understand the nature of your… relationship.” The man started, but was quickly interrupted by the brunette.
“There’s no relationship.”
“No, no, I understand. I know that you don’t, let’s say, get along with one another. Which is a shame, believe me, because you’ve been the driving force of this show for a couple of years now.”
Tina laughed bitterly.
“Well, I would say you’re welcome.” The blonde said, almost with contempt.
“Yeah, you see Kennard, the thing is that people love you both, but it’s been hard to keep them hooked with the show as a whole. We have seen all the statistics, the algorithms, everything: people mostly want to see you two. So…”, he stopped mid-sentence, as if he was weighing what he was about to say.
“Yes, Sam? We already filmed a thousand scenes today. There’s not much more we can give to it.” Bette was already tired and wanted to finish that meeting as soon as possible.
“Actually, you can.” The older man stated. “You see, we are filming this season because it was already renewed two years ago, but there’s no reassurance that we’ll be renewed next year. And I really believe this could be the biggest show in the country, but I need you both to attract a little more attention to it.”
Tina raised her eyebrows, clearly not understanding what was going on.
“Sam, hey. Look at me.” The blonde attracted the man’s attention. “We are naked during half of our screen time. The other half, we are kissing and all over each other. What else is there to do?”
“Well, that’s the thing. It’s not about what you do on screen, but what you do in your day-to-day life.” Sam let that sink in for a couple seconds before going on. “We’ve gone through a couple of possibilities in terms of marketing and PR stuff and the conclusion is that we need the both of you to… fake date, basically.”
Silence fell upon the room.
-
“He asked you to do what?” Helena half-screamed in disbelief, while taking a bottle of water out of Tina’s fridge. The blonde was pacing around the trailer, outraged.
“Can you believe it? I can’t fucking believe it.”
“But he understands how much of a disaster that could be, right?”
“He said that since everybody knows that we don’t like each other, the news of a possible relationship between us would be even more marketable. That people would believe it was… sexual tension all along, or I don’t know what bullshit he mentioned.” The blonde actress was gesticulating vehemently with her hands, a sign that her friend knew meant she was about to lose it.
“I mean, it makes sense, but I don’t see an alternate universe in the one you two are able to do something like that and not kill each other after a couple of hours.” The British conceded. “And what did Bette say?”.
As if on cue, there was a knock on the door and the tall frame of the brunette appeared on the other side of it when Tina went to open it.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Tina asked, already angry. She felt like everything was trying to throw her over the edge, and they were about to succeed.
“Nice to see you, too. In the name of civilization, I think we need to talk.” Out of the corner of her eye, Bette saw Helena getting up before saying:
“You know what, I’ll get out of here. Lovely to see you, Bette.”
“Lovely to see too, Helen. Your hair looks fantastic with this new season’s look, by the way.”
Helena beamed a thankful smile her way before getting out of the already cramped trailer.
“Look” the brunette started, understanding that her colleague was, apparently, speechless. “I’m going to hate this as much as you, but I really need this show to be as huge as possible. And if this is what it takes…”
“Why would I care what you need, Bette?” Tina asked, suddenly regaining her voice.
“Because if we turn ‘Dupont and associates’ into the main American show, you’re going to be as benefited from this as me. Don’t act like you don’t have any career ambitions.” Bette was already elevating her tone.
“Oh, I do have ambitions. I just don’t want them to be tied to…”
“Listen, Kennard. I need this and you need this. We don’t need to do much more than what we usually do on set, we just have to do it outside of it. A couple dates, a couple interviews, and it’s done.”
“It’s not up to you to decide all of this?” Tina voice was high-pitched at this point, every word the brunette’s said getting on her nerves. She couldn’t imagine doing something like that so naturally.
“That’s why I’m here talking to you!”
“It’s not like you’re discussing anything but presenting me facts!”
“These are facts. But if you don’t like it, we can… not do it and wait for cancellation so next year you can go back to filming low budget indie films. I’m sure they pay well.”
Five minutes and four screams after, Bette left her trailer with a fake date scheduled for next Saturday night. Tina closed the door and fell to the floor, not quite believing her luck. She should have known better, she thought, but she had promised herself more than a decade ago that she would never be even close to Bette Porter again.
Well, here she was.
-
ACTRESSES BETTE PORTER AND TINA KENNARD SHARE WHAT SEEMS LIKE A VERY COZY DATE
Although we all thought they couldn’t stand each other – something we learned from the multiple screaming contests they had on set and their reluctance to talk to each other during interviews-, actresses Bette Porter and Tina Kennard, from the long-running success “Dupont and Associates”, were seen together last Saturday night at a fancy Los Angeles’ restaurant.
According to inside sources from the establishment, the couple chose a discrete table in the back of the saloon and spent an evening full of wine and laughter. Paparazzi were able to catch them just as they left the place, and even though Porter was holding Kennard by the waist, the latest waived down the press that was waiting outside for them without much regard.
Since they started sharing a set, three years ago, it’s been well known that their relationship’s been unsteady. The actresses portray one of the hottest on-screen couples, probably the main reason why the public still watches “Dupont and As.” despite its poor writing in the last couple of seasons. According to the word of an inside source from the show, it’s “an unexpected development” and “no one thought this was a possibility”, but the bond and obvious chemistry they share apparently has trespassed the screen.
We were already #LemmaShippers, but what should we call ourselves now? #BeTinaShippers? #TiBetteShipers? Vote in the poll below.”
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@kennardshoe just posted on Twitter
“this ain’t what it looks like, right? These idiots hate each other”
@slut4emma responded to @kennardshoe
“THESE TWO I SWEAR I ALWAYS KNEW!”
@kennardshoe responded to @slut4emma
“girl this can’t be real. I’m telling you they’re hiding something from us”
@PorterKennards responded to @slut4emma and @kennardshoe
“whatever they wanna sell me girl I’M IN look how cute they look I can’t breathe”
@kennardshoe responded to @PorterKennards and @slut4emma
“they’re actually gonna be the death of me”
@slut4emma responded to @kennardshoe and @PorterKennards
“here I am once again asking what have I done to not be tina kennard rn”