Chapter 17
Days blurred past. Between quidditch practise, mounting homework, dementor lessons, and Buckbeak's quickly approaching trial, Rebecca was stretched to her limit. It didn't help that no matter how much sleep she managed to get at night, she woke up feeling as if she'd gotten no rest.
Hermione had noted how her best mate had been tossing, how the dark circles under her eyes hadn't faded in the slightest. Both Hermione and Ginny had found that Rebecca was murmuring in her sleep more and more, as well.
Tensions between the houses seemed to be at an all time high with the very-real possibility of Gryffindor snatching the quidditch cup realised by all. And, with the lasted-too-long tiredness and general stress, there was eventually going to be an instance that pushed her too far.
Leaving the library after having skipped dinner to make time to study before she and Harry's extra lesson that night with Professor Lupin, Crabbe, Goyle, and Marcus saw an opportunity fall in front of them.
Draco had told them earlier in the week to make themselves busy instead of bugging him every minute of the day and, in their dull heads, that meant 'bully.' The three boys left their conversation at the corner and made their way down towards the oblivious Rebecca occupied with running through everything that would need to be completed before sleep was an option.
Fred, deeply troubled with her less-and-less appearance at dinner, had packed up a meal and had just turned the corner from the stairs to the corridor to the library when the Slytherins struck.
Marcus, taking point, slammed his shoulder against hers in faux-clumsiness, sending her crashing into the stone wall next to her with nothing between her and the collision except her bag.
Fred nearly dropped the sandwich he'd so carefully selected, jerked to attention in utter surprise. "Hey!" He started running down the hall after the three beasts, but they turned tail and ran at being caught. They hadn't expected anyone else to have left the Great Hall so quickly. "Dirty bloody-Oh damn."
Rebecca heard the crunch from the knock and knew it to be the shattering of her inkwell. The essay she'd finished early--the one she'd made herself work extra hard on in order to take an early night's sleep--was coated in ink. Rebecca was not one to cry when things were hard, tears fixed nothing but brought more troubles to you.
But at the sight of her essay more ink than parchment, even she couldn't swallow the tears entirely.
And it sent Fred straight into crisis mode. He moved quickly and with purpose, a hand on her arm leading her a seated position by the wall where the plate he'd brought her quickly ended up in her lap and her soiled school things in his arms.
"I only-Madame Pince will know how to fix ink spills, she has to surrounded by so much paper-I only know how to remove it all. Just sit a moment and I'll be right back, okay?"
Making sure the dripping things wouldn't touch any books on her counter, Fred rang the bell for Madame Pince twice.
"What? What is so urgent that you must-Oh!" Madame Pince's mouth dropped. "You're dripping in my library!"
Fred tried to explain. "There was an accident and her inkwell, it-"
Madame Pince took her wand out and, while she did look at Fred as if she were considering using it on him instead of the pools of black ink, she tapped it to the messed things in turn. The ink applied with purpose was left alone while that which had not, was washed away.
Rebecca, in the hall, had taken the quiet to get a hold of herself. Such blatant, pathetic tears would never have come from her so easily a few weeks ago. Wiping the last of the slowing tears away with her sleeve, she realised just how hungry she was at the first bite.
Fred was glad to see her eating, truly. He wished there had been a reprieve from the constantness of everything, he hadn't really noticed just how dark the circles under her eyes had gotten. He laid her bag down next to her leg and sat beside her against the wall. "All better, she got the spills off and left the work."
Rebecca set the plate off her lap so she could hug him with one arm free of wasting food. Fred was surprised and sat up straight, wrapping an arm around her after a momentary loss of function.
"Hey now, all I did was face Pince." Fred said with a wry laugh. "You alright?"
Rebecca nodded, then shook her head against his chest. "I..."
"It's alright to not know sometimes, too." Fred offered after a pause.
"There's just so much to do and nowhere near enough time." Rebecca felt a lightening in her chest at giving words to what she had been carrying around with her. "Hermione needs me to be at my top to help with Buckbeak. Harry needs me for dementor training. Homework has me-"
"You need a break." Fred said, not an ounce of wiggle-room in his tone. "You need to pause and breathe before you run yourself into an early grave."
Neither of them said anything and, she had stayed so still, Fred was wondering if she'd actually fallen asleep. "I have to go, lesson starts-Damn, five minutes ago."
Fred put her bag over his shoulder before she could say a word on it, the plate with most of her dinner still on it all he would give her so she would eat as they walked. "Do you have a plan for tomorrow?"
"The Hogsmeade outing?" Rebecca shrugged. "I wasn't sure I was going. Hagrid said to, that there was nothing else we could be doing with the trial two weeks away, but I didn't want him to feel we were jumping ship."
"Maybe-I was wondering, if-" Fred pinched his leg with the hand in his pockets. "Maybe we could go together and get a butterbeer?"
Rebecca turned her head and looked him over. "Like a date?"
Never one to beat around the bush, she was. "No! No, it-it's a friend helping another have a rest." Fred stammered, his voice jumping an octave on 'friend.'
Rebecca who, for the best of her, could ask exactly what she meant but fail to read the body behind another's words, nodded and took the last bite of her supper. "I'd like to go. Whatever you want though, I'm sick of thinking. You can make every decision."
"Any decision?" He asked hurriedly.
"Within reason." Rebecca amended immediately.
"You can't change your mind, unfortunately. The sandwich acted as a binding contract." Fred laughed and knocked on Professor Lupin's door. "All's well that ends well, yeah? Now you can-"
Fred was entirely interrupted by Remus opening the door with a slight smile, Rebecca's tardiness had become a running laugh between he and Harry as they estimated what excuse she would offer that week. Seeing the Weasley boy there, that had surprised him.
"Hello, professor," Fred looked over his shoulder to go. "Good evening, professor!"
"Fred?" Rebecca raised an eyebrow with a tease in her eyes Fred hadn't seen in ages. "Can I have my bag now?"
"Oh." Fred's face warmed red and he handed her bag to her without looking Professor Lupin in the eye. "I'll meet you tomorrow at breakfast, okay?"
"Okay." Rebecca stepped through the doorway past Professor Lupin who was fighting a smile and failing.
"Planned an outing for tomorrow?"
"It's not like that."
Remus closed the door behind them. "I never said it was like anything."
Rebecca put her bag next to Harry's and gave him a knowing look. "It's how you said it, professor."
Remus conceded, if only because her eyes so teasingly aware left him haunted by grief torn up again. "All the same, I think it's a brilliant idea. Third year is hard and the stress is most evident leading up to examinations. You're no longer treated like children as you are in first and second year, and yet, you're not fully prepared for the academic rigour involved in third year and beyond. I think it's a common belief that third year is one of great change."
Harry nodded, a little relieved that someone as knowledgeable as Professor Lupin thought third year was hard, too. Harry was tired.
"But, enough musing. You arrived just in time, Rebecca. Harry just asked an excellent question."
"I did?" Harry echoed lost.
Remus smiled and nodded, bringing his copy of the Daily Prophet up from his desk. "'What is the dementor's kiss?' He asked. What is it indeed? Today the Ministry of Magic revealed that, upon capture, Sirius Black will be given it."
"So it's a punishment." Rebecca realised. "Must be a bad one."
"It's the worst punishment you can get in our world." Remus turned his back to them and put the paper back on his desk, composing himself before turning back to them. "The dementors will place their lips upon his and take his soul."
Harry looked to Rebecca but found that her gaze was locked onto Professor Lupin's, subtly horrified.
"You can exist without your soul, as long as your vital organs work on. There's no sense of memory or self, no anything. There's no chance of recovery. You'll just exist--An empty shell. Your soul is gone forever, lost."
Rebecca flinched at the word 'lost.'
Professor Lupin lowered his head, realising he may have spoken to them too bluntly. "It's the ultimate punishment." Standing and walking closer to them, he sat in one of the left-pulled-out chairs from the desks and looked to both of them. "I don't say this to frighten you--far from it, actually. I told you because I want you both to be fully aware of what you're defending yourself against."
Hopping to his feet once more, Lupin clapped his hands once and moved his watching spot with his wand ready to release the boggart. "Now, who's going first?"
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When their time was over at last, Rebecca and Harry dropped to the floor next to their bags.
"Marvelous!" Professor Lupin nearly shouted with pride. "Just marvelous!"
His compliments went in one ear and out the other. They'd managed to get the dementor-boggart back into the box each time it had been released, working together more often than not. They'd both suffered the screams of their parents once or twice, but neither of them had fallen unconscious.
Professor Lupin helped them to their feet and filled their hands (and, later they would find, they tops of their bags) with chocolates. He made sure they ate some on their walk back to Gryffindor Tower and spoke to them warmly.
"I'm most impressed with the progress you have both seen these last weeks. You two must be proud by what you've accomplished, I insist on it." He paused as they turned a corner, sighing. "And it is for that reason, I am afraid we must practise less."
Harry and Rebecca both tried to convince him otherwise, that they were fine and could improve more.
Remus let them go a moment, then raised his hand for silence. "You've made all the progress you can with a boggart as a dementor and I won't have you practising with an actual dementor. We'll continue to meet occasionally to keep the skill sharp but truth is...you both look a little rough around the edges."
Rebecca felt as if she had failed in one way or another, that it had been a shortcoming of hers to not be able to find the time for sleep. Harry, on the other hand, recognised the truth in the professor's words. "Thank you, professor. For helping us."
Rebecca nodded. "I feel we'd be able to defend ourselves if we needed to."
"We both do." Harry added.
Remus smiled at the both of them, holding the portrait door open. "I don't doubt it. Good night and enjoy yourselves tomorrow."
Professor McGonagall stood from the seat near the fire of the common room she had waited for their return in and greeted them. "I wanted to bring notice that, at last, the Firebolt has been declared free of jinxes." McGonagall smiled. "I suggest you get some practise in on it before the next match, Potter. I would think that the cup is all the much closer now."
She left them without a waver in her happiness, feeling that Gryffindor victory was the most sure it had been in years.
"What did Professor Lupin mean exactly? 'Enjoy ourselves?'" Harry asked, finding that even the joy of the Firebolt finally being free to ride couldn't erase the strangeness of the comment from his thoughts. "He said it strangely, didn't he?"
Rebecca shrugged. "Probably knew something about the Firebolt being cleared."
"You think?" Harry grinned. "I can't wait to try it tomorrow, I'll be down at the pitch while you lot go on to Hogsmeade."
"Make sure someone else goes, yeah?" Rebecca asked, giving him his nightly hug. She kissed his cheek and waited for him to acknowledge what she'd said.
"Yeah, yeah. I'll bring someone else." Harry teased her only slightly about how bossy she could be before they went their different directions to their dormitories.
Ginny was asleep, her curtains drawn and Rebecca knew that Hermione would have muffled their half of the room so that the hours of quill scratching couldn't wake their younger mate. Hermione didn't even look up as Rebecca entered, so close to finishing the thought she was on. Checking in on how Rebecca had fared in the work to be done, Hermione asked about the essay that had been troubling her.
"I'm finished, finally." Rebecca piled her robes into the laundry and pulled her pajamas on slowly. She couldn't explain the reluctance she'd had lately at the idea of going to sleep, no matter how exhausted she was. "There was a smashed inkwell but I-"
"You didn't toss it, did you?" Hermione asked frantically, turning in her seat so quickly she nearly fell out of it. "I have a charm to get fix it!"
Rebecca shook her head quickly, calming Hermione slightly. "No, no. Fred was there, he'd brought supper down to the library and...well, he fixed it all, actually. Summed the evening up well, too. 'All's well that ends well.'"
Hermione turned back to her scroll calmer. "I've only got a little more to go before I can be done for the night. Ron was asking about what we had planned for tomorrow and I said I'd ask you when you got in." Hermione looked back over her shoulder. "How was Lupin lessons?"
Rebecca sighed and sat on the edge of her bed, taking her glasses off and wiping them with her shirt. "The lesson went well."
"But?" Hermione asked after the silence from Rebecca stretched on.
"But we're done meeting every week. He says we've gotten as far as we can without an actual dementor."
Hermione set her quill down, a little thankful that there was a crisis to solve since it meant her thoughts were able to leave Ancient Runes if only momentarily. "Isn't that good news?"
Rebecca shrugged. "It is, I just-I don't know why it doesn't feel like good news. I should be happy that there's one less thing to do but I'm not." Rebecca was thankful that Hermione nodded for her to continue, to lay out her thoughts in front of both of them. "I like hearing Professor Lupin's little stories when we've been knocked for a loop, little bits about James and Lily that Harry and I haven't ever heard before."
"So you're glad that you will have a little more breathing room but disappointed that the information about your parents won't be accessible?" Hermione checked.
"Exactly."
"That makes perfect sense, Rebecca." Hermione had no solution, it's not like she could find a book on James and Lily's school years and share them with the children that hungered for information on them. "How about this? Tomorrow, we'll catch the later cart so we can sleep in a bit and then we'll go to Honeydukes for Ron--Course we can't go a few hours without a sweet--maybe, what?"
Rebecca winced. "Tomorrow I sort of...already have plans."
"How do you have plans?" Hermione asked shocked.
Rebecca spoke quickly, feeling as if she'd been caught and was in trouble. "It was a spur of the moment thing, not planned at all. Fred asked if I'd like to spend the day with him after the inkwell incident."
Hermione raised an eyebrow, unable to resist the prod. "You and Fred are 'spending the day' on Valentine's?"
"As friends, you nutter." Rebecca gave up on the lens that insisted on remaining smudged and laid them on the table beside her bed before standing to go to the bathroom. "I don't even know what we're going to do, you know? I'm not making a single decision."
Hermione's attention was caught by a soft giggling coming from Ginny's bed before Ginny pulled the curtain back and spoke so Rebecca wouldn't be able to hear over the faucet. "She's so bloody oblivious!"
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The sun rose slowly over the still-snow-blanketed castle, waking Rebecca before the world seemed to. There was something peaceful that she admired post-stretch-for-glasses about the stillness; the morning rays catching the icicles along the stones and the snowmen miniature-due-to-distance left in the courtyards by students.
Standing up to get ready for the day, the crinkling of parchment caught her attention.
"RJ,
I hope you know I was very serious (as I always am). Every decision! Warm trousers and your coat.
Fred"
Figuring that if Fred told her to bring her coat they'd be spending a considerable amount of time outside, she nabbed the scarf he'd lent her ages ago from her trunk and ducked out of the room before she woke the others who slept on.
"You're headed down to Hogsmeade, too?" Ron was down in the common room, clearly annoyed at something. "Hermione told me she wanted to go for something...I don't even remember, hardly hear her when she's got so many bloody words coming out of her mouth and the-"
Rebecca cleared her throat, derailing his complaints.
"But all I remember her saying was 'early.'" Ron scowled. "When the hell is 'early?'"
"I don't know, she was still sleeping when I came down." Rebecca looked up to the dormitories. "I can run back up and see when she wants to go, if you want."
"No, it's alright." Ron sighed and made himself comfortable on the couch. "I'm supposed to tell you that they'll meet you at breakfast."
"They?"
"Fred and George were up at the crack of dawn." Ron grumbled. "Can't believe I'm missing out on Firebolt time to-I don't even know!"
"Don't be too cross, Ron." Rebecca left a kiss on the top of his head as she walked around the couch to get to the portrait hole. "You might even have a good day, if you let yourself that is." The Fat Lady wished her a good day as she exited, and Rebecca upheld her half of the conversation as long as courtesy dictated. She couldn't help but a slight distraction, though.
Ron had said 'they.'
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The Great Hall was fairly empty, considering it was still fairly early. Near their usual spot was Lee, George, and Fred doling out their breakfasts.
"Good morning," Fred said, hardly letting her survey the spread a second before setting a plate in front of her filled with what she would have chosen for herself.
"Would you pass the-"
"Tea." Fred finished, setting a cup in front of her and pouring it.
"Merlin, aren't you predictable?" George snorted, nudging Lee out of a daydream to laugh with him.
"I am most certainly not predictable." Rebecca refuted, refusing to consider the idea. "I simply have mastered a routine that I stick to."
Lee leaned forward, lowering his voice as if he were sharing a secret. "Isn't that what 'predictable' means?"
They joked and laughed, Lee and George complaining that they shouldn't have to finish the homework they'd left too long on an excursion day. But, as breakfast came and went, they went off to finish in time to catch a later bout of carriages and Rebecca and Fred headed to the pick up station.
"So, where are we off to first?" Rebecca asked, curious as to what Fred had planned for the day.
"Can't tell you." He answered without humour.
"Why?" Rebecca asked with a little laugh. It really was comical to see someone so prone to mischief feigning seriousness.
"Top-secret, confidential. If I tell you, I have to wipe your memory." He opened the door to one of the first carriages, a little surprised that it was full to the point that only two seats opposite one another remained. "Hop in, you'll find out soon enough."
The pairs of students on either side of Fred and Rebecca's benches were still enough as the driver waited for the go-ahead, but when they began to move...the partnerships around them were made clear enough.
At first, the rapid dissolving of late-teens into pairs of snogging twos was awkward. But as the ride came closer to its end and none of those around them separated, it grew funnier. Rebecca and Fred made eye contact near the end and only made both of them want to laugh even more.
First out of their ride, their feet had hardly hit the ground before they started laughing wildly.
"They never even breathed!" Fred managed, walking beside her and digging through his coat pockets. "Not once!"
Rebecca considered peeking over his arm at the list he was looking at, but decided against it in the end. She let out a deep breath and realised that she didn't have a care in the world as to what they did. She was there to relax and have a day of recuperation.
"Now, for our first stop, I don't think we'll actually manage a purchase." Fred grabbed the door to Zonko's and walked in behind her.
"I wonder why." Rebecca said cheekily. The shop was ranking up there as one of the fullest she'd ever seen it.
"Right!" Fred pointed over her shoulder, guiding her towards a shortcut behind the mass of students. "But, all the same, this aisle is particularly..."
"Mental?"
"Yes, mental today." Fred offered an unprompted explanation when she didn't seem to understand why this aisle of all days. "Love potions, today's biggest purchase." He paused for a moment and reconsidered. "After chocolates, I guess."
They wandered back towards the door, quietly contemplating the appeal of a love potion. Rebecca spoke first, once they were back outside and Fred had already consulted his list again. "I don't think it's real."
"What is?" Fred asked, glancing over at her momentarily before redirecting his eyes ahead of them.
"A love potion." Rebecca said as if it were obvious. "How can it be? If it only lasts for a day, it can't really be love, can it?"
"I guess not." Fred smiled. "But I also don't think you can bottle it up and sell it, either. Damn."
"What?" Rebecca saw the queue extended out of Madam Puddifoot's. "You're next stop?"
"It was ours, but no way we're waiting outside that long. I'd bring back a snow-witch." Fred chuckled and turned around entirely. "Back to the Three Broomsticks, then?"
"I don't care where we go, no decisions remember?" Rebecca bumped into his side. "But maybe we should stop by Honeyduke's on the way back."
"That's not a decision, is it?" Fred asked teasingly.
"Just a suggestion."
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"He's going to...get rejected." Fred said quietly, going for a sip of his butterbeer as soon as he finished his guess.
"That's horrid! How could you even-Oh." Rebecca felt a little embarrassed for the man at the bar, the man who leaned in for a kiss and caught the woman's cheek as she laughed and covered her mouth before apologising. She stood up, leaving a little money at her spot and apologising again before leaving. The man was gone shortly after. "That's sad."
"Now for that bloke," Fred nodded his head towards the other side of the bar, smiling. "He's checked his pocket five times a minute since his friend got back from the loo, I bet-"
"He's going to propose!" Rebecca finished before he could, offering him a small shrug when he turned to look at her. "You already guessed one."
The man wiped his hand on his pants one more time and slid out the box he'd made sure not to misplace. His friend, taking a moment to figure out why his partner was kneeling on one knee, found words out of reach and simply nodded before the two kissed each other happily.
The Three Broomsticks as a whole cheered and clapped before settling back into the chatter it had been at before, the tab of the two men covered by patrons on either side of them with wishes of a happy marriage following them on their way out.
The day was leaving them quicker than either of them would have liked, the sun lower in the sky than when they had sat at their table and the wind noticeably colder. Rebecca slipped her mittens off and tapped his arm with them.
"Oh, I'm not cold." Fred said quickly.
"For someone who told me to bring a coat, you should have thought to, too." Rebecca didn't waver. "Take the mittens."
"Please, I think you would-"
"The bloody mittens!" Rebecca laughed, taking his wrist and holding his hand up to slide them onto the hand nearest her. "There! Was that so hard?"
"The hardest task I've ever, ever completed." Fred said with a stifled laugh. "Have you had a good, decision-less day?"
Rebecca nodded, feeling lighter than she had in a ages. "Nothing could have made today better."
Fred felt the compliment engrave itself into his mind, letting it stay accessible to hear it repeat itself when he needed. Hoping to end their day with laughter, he raised his mitten-clad arms and let out a shout. "Mission accomplished!"
Down the lane, George and Lee snickered as Fred brought his arms back down and let one go around Rebecca's shoulders. Ron dropped to the floor next to Hermione, interrupting the conversation between the other three with the offer of sharing his chocolate.
"Honeyduke's end-of-holiday price, I love you. The only redemption to this endless day." He scowled at the others, Fred and Rebecca out of their sight for the first time all day. "Now, will someone please explain why we followed them all bloody day?"
George put a finger to his chin like he was thinking about it. "No." He stood up and restarted the whispered conversation with Hermione that had been peppered throughout the day.
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While the others remained fairly quiet about how they spent their day as they sat down, Harry paid it no mind. He arrived to dinner with his hair severely wind-blow, dripping in sweat, and his face brighter than the fire.
"I wouldn't worry about the match against Ravenclaw." Harry said proudly. "Rebecca, you're never going to-I can't even tell you about it. You have to ride it to understand."
"I'm sure." Rebecca smiled at how excited he was. It had been a while since excitement had so prominent. Harry and Ron launched into muffled conversation about the broom while Rebecca turned her attention to Hermione. "Have a good day?"
"W-what?"
Rebecca studied Hermione for a moment, curious. "Ron mentioned something about you needing to pick something up from somewhere. Why're you being strange?"
"Oh! Yes, that." Hermione ignored the end comment. "Out of stock and delayed. Maybe next time."
There was still something under her words, but Rebecca couldn't hold on to it for long. By the time they got back to the common room and managed to secure a sliver of space, it was all forgotten.
Sweets could be found around the room, and Harry offered a licorice wand as payment for squeezing into the chair truly-meant-for-one with Rebecca. "So you did have fun in Hogsmeade today?"
Rebecca nodded, taking the treat with a smile. "It was a perfect day. And you had fun flying?"
Harry let his head fall back against the back of the chair and closed his eyes with a grin. "You have no idea."
They talked a while longer, exchanging little bits of happiness from their days. As the night got later and the common room gradually got emptier, it was time to go to bed. Ron had already closed his eyes on the couch and Lee had long gone up to bed.
Saying their goodnights and going their separate ways, Hermione and Rebecca paused as Fred called to them from the top of the boys' stairs. "You've decided not to do any work tonight!"
Rebecca glanced down at the clock. "You're decision-making window is up by half an hour!"
"All the same." Fred waved and went through the door to the boys dorms as Rebecca and Hermione made their way to theirs.
Rebecca decided that he was right, it was late and such a perfect day should end happily, too. Situating herself under her multitude of blankets, Rebecca found sleep quickly.
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