Aya awoke in a daze, lifting from the bed she layed in, she ran her fingers through her short pink hair. There was a shift in her. A subtle ache, a quiet echo of something long buried.
Her phone buzzed from the bed, pulling her from her thoughts. The screen lit up with a message from Yuri "Hey, I'm on my way! Can't wait to see you."
Aya smiled faintly, her heart doing a little flip in her chest. She and Yuri had been dating for a few months now, but the feelings, as warm and familiar as they were, came with an undercurrent of something strange. Something unsettling.
Yuri looked so much like her ex, Mitsuki. Too much, in fact. It was almost uncanny how the curve of her cheekbones, the slight tilt of her eyes, a mole under her eye, and the way she smiled mirrored Mitsuki’s features. Every time she saw Yuri, a shadow of Mitsuki lingered—like an old wound that refused to heal.
When Aya and Mitsuki had first broken up, it was anything but clean. She couldn’t remember much of it but her yelling, the tears in her eyes, and the look on Mitsuki’s face when she had walked out. It haunted her.
Aya shook her head, trying to push the thoughts away. She likes Yuri, she swears she does. But is liking going to be enough for this relationship, she can’t help but ask herself.
There was a knock at the door, snapping her out of her thoughts. Aya opened the door, finding Yuri holding a bouquet of flowers, yellow carnations. A bright smile on her face that could light up almost any room. Aya felt a pang in her heart looking up at her.
“Good morning, I brought you a little gift.” Yuri held out the flowers. Aya smiled while taking them.
“They're beautiful. Thank you.” Aya smelt the flowers, and couldn't help but think of the first time she was gifted flowers by Mitsuki.
The flowers were red roses, simple yet so meaningful, with it was a new song dedicated to her, much like all her songs were. Much like all her songs still are.
Aya felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist, pulling her out of her thoughts. “You were wondering again.” Aya sighed softly, almost fondly.
Almost
“You know me, can’t help it. Why don’t you come in while I find a vase?”
Yuri stood for a second, giving a small defeated laugh. “You’re thinking of her again aren't you?”
Aya froze, the words not quite reaching her. She felt like a deer in headlights, waiting for the crash.
“Yes, I’m sorry.”
Yuri gave a half smile, “You know, I can’t replace her, no one can. You need to move on.” Yuri reached and moved some hair behind Aya’s ear, giving a soft smile. Aya wanted to throw up.
Aya has never liked confrontation, maybe that's why she and Mitsuki couldn’t work it out. Maybe if she told herself enough it wasn’t her fault maybe she would start to believe it. Maybe she would stop looking for mitsuki in everyone. Maybe she could be happy with Yuri.
She knew better though. No one was going to replace Mitsuki, and Yuri would never be able to fill in that hole that was left.
“I’m pathetic, aren't I? I’m sorry for stringing you along. You don’t deserve that.” Aya looked up, facing Yuri, her face looked so much like Mitsuki’s when she left, it hurt even more than it should’ve. “I was just trying to distract myself and that’s not fair to you.”
“I understand”
“No, I don’t think you quite do. I think I need some time alone, I’ll call you later.” Aya closed the door before Yuri could say anything else