The sour taste of Fear
Hermione
This room seemed to go on forever. She went all the way to a wall and still couldn’t find the stupid Diadem. She decided to leave the room after a very long time. She’d forgotten her time piece when she left her room. Walking out of the room she truly hoped it would reappear for her later.
Pulling her dressing coat over herself she realised it was maybe midday, and the halls were very busy. Her cheeks heated, hurrying her way to her room. She slammed the door behind her and leaned against it. Her heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was going to come out of her chest. She knew it didn’t really matter if anyone had seen her in her nightgown and coat. She was covered and wasn’t out there for long.
She couldn’t help but feel scandalised. Surely she’d be talking of the Castle again. After she had just become nearly unnoticed at the Castle. She sighed, and pulled herself from against the door. Heart still pulsing in her ears. She started to take her coat off to get ready for the day. She would write Dumbledore. He’d left the Castle for an Order meeting the day before.
Knock. Knock. Knock. Came from the door. Letting out a sigh of frustration she buttoned her coat and walked to the door. Opening it she found no one there, but left there down on the floor was a pair of flowers. Each a single flower but one laying right over the other. They're beautiful, she thought. Squatting down she grabbed both of them, and sniffed them. She smiled to herself. Glancing around she didn’t see anyone.
Standing up and closing the door behind her, she walked into her room. Taking her wand in one hand and the two flowers in the other she made a vase, and water for them. Putting them in the window sill next to her bed. She smiled to herself. Well at least someone likes her here.
Getting dressed and hurrying down stairs she caught up with the last few stragglers to the Great Hall. She’d only eaten in here when it was almost empty, or she’d go down to the kitchens and talk with the elves. Talk to them about how their days were and they waited hand and foot on her. She was one of the nicest kids they dealt with, they told her. She was disheartened to hear it, but was unsurprised with the line of people who were currently in the school and who had only just left the spring before.
Entering the Hall, Hermione was acutely aware of people turning to stare at her. She still had a smile on her face from the flowers, and she was so close to the Diadem she could almost taste it. She had gotten into the room. It had let her in. After almost a month, she was the closest she’d yet been to one of her goals. Walking past the tables she noticed she could feel a few particular sets of eyes.
Seating herself at the high table next to Hagrid’s large empty chair, she found herself wishing he was here. Someone to talk to. He wasn’t her Hagrid yet, but she was still just as happy as she could be here. The thought of him gave her a homey feel. Like coming home to an expectant parent. She busied herself with getting food.
She wondered when Dumbledore would be back. He hadn’t said if it was going to be an extended trip. She didn’t know if he’d tell her or not though, even if it was. She took slow bites and concentrated to herself, not really paying attention to the room around her. Letting the chatter and yelling blend together into a white noise that was just a dull roar behind her thoughts.
Hermione was daydreaming about the smell of rain and leather when she finally came out of it. Staring around she notices that she was the only one sitting in the Hall. Getting up, and walking out of the Hall she followed the corridors around the Castle, coming to the Library. A home away from home she thought. This was her favorite place in the whole Castle. Walking in she weaved back and forth through the shelves. Noting which books she’d already read and grabbing a few that weren’t here before.
After talking to the librarian, Hermione took a stack of books with her back upstairs to her room. Entering her corridor she noticed something sitting in front of her door again. Walking closer she saw two more flowers, different from the ones before. Grabbing them, Hermione opened her door and put the books done on the bookcase and put the flowers in with the other two. Smiling, she didn’t understand why this was happening, but she wouldn’t refuse them for now.
Standing in front of the window she looked down across the lake and got lost for a second in the beauty around her. She forgot how pretty Hogwarts could be. Even in the autumn when everything looked dead. The hills and valleys, the lake reflecting the sun, and of course the constant in and out of all the owls.
Shaking herself, she walked away from the window. Writing a quick letter to Dumbledore, and sealing it, Hermione grabbed her heavier jacket off of the rack and walked herself to the owlery. She stood there for a moment at the open door, before going in and being met with the sounds of owls fighting and screaming at each other. Hermione held up her arm and one of the school owls left it’s perch and landed on her arm, leg out waiting. “To Dumbledore please.” she said, giving a brush down it’s feathers. Wooing at her before taking off in a flash off tan and brown feathers.
The walk back seemed to take longer, the wind was biting, and blowing right in her face. She’d told Dumbledore she’d managed to open the door, that she was going back in and didn’t know when she would come out. She was hoping to find the Diadem quickly. The room was very big and very cramped at the same time. Cobwebs, pixies, and the occasional Bowtruckle could be found there.
Pushing her hair out of her face as she entered the Castle, she moved quickly to the seventh floor and dropped her jacket off in her room. She walked around for maybe five minutes, before she heard it. The sound of the Room appearing. She again did a little dance to herself and ran up to the door. She opened the door and was distracted by an owl flying towards her from down the corridor. Stopping and taking a step in the owl's direction she held her arm out for the bird. It simply dropped the letter at her feet, and flew down the rest of the corridor and flew down the staircase to the right.
Grabbing the letter from the ground, she saw it was from Dumbledore. She opened it.
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Hermione,
I would like to apologise that my meeting is taking me longer than expected. I will be returning to the Castle in a day or two, and would like to see you Monday at two o’clock.
Albus P. W. B. Dumbledore
P.s. I’ve found I rather like Chocolate Frogs this week.
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So it was a message to her, not a response from her letter. It had only been about twenty minutes since she sent hers. The owls must have passed each other going opposite directions. Hermione laughed to herself. Tucking the letter into her pocket, and walking back into the room.
Shutting the door behind her, and illuminating her wand, she walked into the room. Skipping the first asle she came across, having cleared that one earlier. Walking into the first aisle on her right, she was startled to hear a bang and clattering behind her. It seemed way too big to be a pixie.She was very sure of that.
Shuffling faster down the aisle, and cutting her light out, she whispered “Accio Diadem.” to herself. She didn’t hear anything following her, but that didn’t mean anything. Her brain was on high alert, her ears straining to hear anything. Vigilance, Constant vigilance Moody had told them. Always be prepared for anything.
She heard banging coming from up around the corner. Slowing her pace, she crept up to the corner. Glancing twice before rounding it. Wand out. Before her she saw a table with a bust the was rocking back and forth on its side. “Accio Diadem.” She whispered again. The box next to that bust flew towards Hermione, she grabbed it before it could hit her in the face. Cracking it open she saw the silver shine with the low light that the room gave off. The gem was dark, and Hermione swore she saw something moving inside of it. Closing the box and shrinking it down, she put it in her hand bag.
Solely focused on the Diadem, Hermione failed to hear the noises around her. Glancing up from her bag she saw Ron standing in front of her. No, but that was wrong. Ron wasn’t here, he’d died in the war. As quickly as she thought it, the Ron in front of her quickly started to decay in front of her. Covering her mouth, she tried to not make a noise. The decaying Ron had fallen to the floor, and was now crawling towards her. Behind him she saw four more people. Harry was much like he was the last time she’d seen him. Flayed open, and covered in blood. Ginny was ghost white with sunken hollow eyes, reaching for Hermione. Stumbling behind Ginny was Remus and Sirius, one half charred, the other gaunt and skeletal. They both fell, tripping over Ron on the floor.
She was crying, and hiccupping. Hermione tried to move away from all of them, but was frozen in place when she saw another shape appear. Her blood ran icy cold as she saw to crazy ringlets of curls silhouetted around the thin frame. Hermione felt ill when she heard the cackling laugh that haunted her dreams. The scar on her arm felt white hot. Like it was being carved into her arm all over again. She hissed at the pain, and dropped to one knee.
“Filthy little Mudblood.” Bellatrix cackled. Hermione watched as they all approached her. “St- stupify.” she said pointing her wand out. It had no effect on them. Hermione was frozen. Frozen with fear. She couldn’t move. No one knew where she was, but Dumbledore, and he wouldn’t be back for a day or two. Crying and wiping her eyes with her sleeve, she again tried to back up, but only fell onto her ass. Shuffling her weight back she moved until she hit a stack of something, bumping into it so hard that it started to topple. “Ridikulos.” “Wingardium Leviosa!” two voices rang out from the left of her. Hermione was covering her face, staring out of her fingers at her dead friends, and the person who tortured her for hours. Left her with permanent scars.
Slamming her eyes shut and tuning out the world around her she attempted to regain herself. “Hey is she okay?” She heard a male voice. Suddenly she was being touched, she screamed and flew her hands up, pointing her wand at the person in front of her. “Woah now we’re just trying to help you Hermione.” blinking through her tears she saw Sirius, young Sirius, in front of her. Looking from him to the other man she realised it was Remus.
“Did you not realise they were Boggarts?” Remus asked from where the Boggarts had been, now that they’d gone back into the shadows of the room. She shook her head no. Staring at the Sirius in front of her, she dropped her wand and threw her arms around him. Hugging him tightly to her. Proving that he was indeed real and he was there. They had saved her, from her own stupidity. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, and she felt his arms wrap around her.
Breathing in his scent was nothing like she’d ever experienced. Leather, cinnamon, and something that was just.. Sirius. She heard Remus walk over to them. “Thank you.” she mumbled. “Thank you both.” she was suddenly very aware of the fact that Sirius was holding her almost as tightly as she was hugging him. She could hear Sirius breathing deeply, his face pressed into her curls.
Releasing Sirius, it took him about two more seconds for him to drop his arms away from her. She was looking at her feet. Remus was standing next to her as well. He opened his arms, showing her she was okay to hug him if she liked, but it was up to her. Her arms went out and she stepped into his arms. Wrapping her own around his back she could feel the muscles of his back through his jumper. He wrapped her tightly into her arms. “Should we get out of here, huh?” Remus whispered into her hair. His nose buried deep into her curls, much like Sirius had.
Nodding her head she allowed Remus and Sirius to walk her back to the door. Before they could leave the room though Hermione stopped, removing herself from Remus’ arms. Looking from one to the other, it dawned on her “How did you know where I was? How are you even here?” Sirius looked sheepish, and Remus looked like he just wanted her back in his arms. “We followed you, in here. We don’t know much about you, and well you see-” Sirius had started to ramble out, when she noticed he was holding Harry’s cloak and she could just see some parchment sticking out of Remus’ back pocket.
“You were watching me with the map. You used the invisibility cloak to spy on me?” Hermione started to ramble to herself more than to them. “I had totally forgotten about the map.” The one Harry had in the future had been lost in a fight with Draco in the Room of- Hermione was shaken from her thoughts by the two men walking closer to her. “How do you know about the map? How would you even know about the cloak?” Sirius seems aggressively curious.
Remus had a hand on his chest and held him away from her. “Who were those people, Hermione? Friend’s of yours? They didn’t look like they were doing too great.” She nodded. “They used to be.” she whispered. Angry tears leaking from her eyes. “They didn’t deserve what happened to them. They should be here.” She whispered more to herself. “They should still be here.” she looked over her shoulder back the way they’d come. She swore she could see Bellatrix’s shadow against a cabinet.
“I can’t tell you how I know about the map, or the cloak. I don’t know.. I just want to go lay down.” She said, taking a step back from both of them. “Thank you very much, but I can make it from here.” She said hurrying away from them. They both seemed to be surprised, though neither of them tried to stop her.
Once she was safely back in her room, she checked her pockets for her bag and noticed it was missing. The Diadem, her plans, her everything was in that bag.
Remus
Standing there with Padfoot , starring after her. He clenched her bag in his hand. If she wanted it back, she’d have to come get it. He brought it to his nose and took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the scent of her again. Moony in his head was pacing, growling, and whining. He knew, just as Sirius knew. She was theirs. She was the one they wanted. “What the hell was that, Ay Moony?” Sirius said, turning to face him. Eyeing the bag so close to his face, Sirius smiled.
“My question is much bigger, Pads, how the hell did we miss a room.” he said laughing as they left the room. Shoving each other around. Remus tucked the small bag into his pocket, and followed Sirius down the corridor. “We should stop off at the room and put the map and cloak back. Don’t wanna go traipsing into the Great Hall with our secrets on full display.” Sirius said aloud. Remus was too busy thinking. Thinking about seeing those Boggarts of Hermione. They were terrible to look at and the one looked so much like James it had taken both Sirius and himself a few minutes to shake themselves.
The two redheaded ones he didn’t recognise, but he could have sworn the two older ones in the back looked exceedingly familiar. The last one though, he’d recognised that hair almost as fast as Sirius had. “It was Bella, wasn't it Sirius. The last one. It had been your cousin that brought her to her knees. She screamed aloud. You held her. You know just how bad she was shaking.” Sirius nearly stumbled with Remus’ words. “Yeah I reckon it was. She looked like shit though. What about the one that looked like James. Did you see the-” “Yeah I saw. Wish I hadn’t though. Don’t think I’ll ever get that picture out of my head. No wonder it was one of her worst fears. They must have really meant a lot to her.”
Remus felt a rumble inside himself. Thinking of these other people, these other men who meant so much to her that it made her weep at the sight of them. Made him want her back in his arms where he would keep her if she allowed him too. He’d never let her go, except maybe for Sirius. Remus could feel her scent burned through his nose, and ached in his chest. “I want her.” he said out loud, more to himself than Sirius. “So do I Moony. So do I.”
They jogged down the stairs to the great hall, noticing Peter first, Remus gestured for Sirius to follow. James, and Lily were sitting across from Peter. Holding hands under the table he assumed. Putting Peter between them, they sat down. “Well it’s about bloody time you showed up. Your mystery girl is sitting at the high table again tonight. She looks a little under the weather if you ask me.” James had been poking fun at Sirius ever since he’d figured out it was Hermione, he had been talking about.
Both of them turned their heads at the same time, and caught her staring at them. She quickly ducked her head and started talking to Hagrid. Smiling at him, about whatever it was. Remus wanted her to look at him like that, but he also wanted more. So much more it was starting to hurt. Rallying his thoughts together Remus looked behind Peter at Sirius and saw that he too had caught her gaze. He wondered if Sirius was actually as affected by her like he was. They hadn’t had any time alone really to talk about it. About it all. Maybe over holiday break?
His eyes drifted over to Hermione. She was watching them again, still talking with Hagrid. He didn’t move his head to stare. He stared from the corner of his eye, she was playing with her hair. Curling a strand around her finger, round and around. “Remus, are you alright?” Lilly voiced across the table causing everyone to look at him. He smiled and played it off. “I was just thinking about the Charms quiz today. I don’t think I did very well. I was too distracted.” He said making eye contact with Sirius. Darting them back to James after holding his gaze for a moment, “I think it’ll all work out though.” he flashed a quick smile.
After dinner was finished, the five of them stayed back a few minutes to let the crowd through. Sirius was watching Prongs and Lily with a sad expression. Remus knew he wanted what they were only beginning to explore. Absolute devotion to each other. It was still early for James and Lily, but James had been trailing her coat tails for years. He knew Sirius was jealous for the simple fact he didn’t understand love like that. Remus hadn’t either, until he met Sirius. His cocky smirk, and the way he held himself. The way Sirius had been the first to bring up becoming Anamagi to help Remus. How he had been the first to complete the process.
Remus was lost in thought trailing along behind the group when he noticed Hermione coming up behind him. Stopping to let her reach him with space between the group and them for a semblance of privacy. “How may I help you, Kitten?” he said, smiling at her. She blushed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I was wondering if you saw where I dropped my bag. I can’t find it, and it’s really impor-” Remus cut her off by taking it out of his robe pocket, and holding it up for her. “Oh! Thank you. Again, Thank you. I really can’t thank you both enough.” she rambled it out, but Remus was more focused on her face. The relief and joy he saw there was so different from the last time he’d seen her face.
“What is it?” Remus asked aloud after a moment of silence. “We saw you putting something in there before.. Well you know, before.” She nodded, understanding him. “It’s my whole world. In this tiny little bag is everything I own. It has everything I could salvage from..” her face was sad again, and he just wanted to hold her. He knew she was older than him, but he was at least a head taller than she was. Hugging her earlier, she’d molded herself against them both. He didn’t think she realized what she was doing, but it was noticed by both Padfoot and himself.
“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, Kitten.” he flashed her another full teeth smile. She blushed and looked down. Murmured another thank you and started toward the group. Remus noticed they’d stopped, and were all staring at him. Sirius had a funny expression on his face. Remus couldn’t even tell what it was. Remus was sure it wasn’t jealousy, but the longing in his eyes was plain enough.
Hermione walked past the group, looking up at Sirius she murmured something, and continued out of the Hall. Sirius had a funny cocked smile on his face, as he watched her leave. “That was odd. What did she want, Remus?” Lily looked around the group. “Oh I found her bag on the floor upstairs and I left a note on her door. Told her to come see me, because I didn’t want to leave it in the corridor where anyone could take it. She was really happy I found it.” He lied to the group. Sirius knew he was, but knew he’d get the full story later. They shared everything with one another. At least, that’s what Remus thought.
Lily started talking about Transfiguration homework that was due the next day. Thankfully it took up most of the walk up to the common room, because Peter had forgotten they’d had homework for McGonagall entirely. Remus had subconsciously been trailing Hermione’s scent, following her, so he noticed immediately when it was no longer in front of him. His eyes flashed up and around. He didn’t see her. Remus had stopped in his tracks and was smelling the air, looking around again, just trying to catch anything. When he found nothing, he shook his head and moved to rejoin the group. He almost bumped right into Sirius, who had moved to stand next to him.
“Sorry, got distracted.” He smiled at Sirius, but he wasn’t listening. He was looking down the corridor behind them. “Where is she going?” Sirius whispered almost too low for Remus to hear. Sirius grabbed the map from Remus’ pocket. Opening it up, he started down the hall. Remus looked over his shoulder and James was moving Lily and Peter along. Remus shrugged at James and mouthed a thank you, and took off to follow Sirius.