Green Goblin
Social media had been set ablaze.
Cynthia could barely keep up with all of the memes and posts Ariana was sharing with her.
GIF of someone dramatically squinting with binoculars
"Me, watching Ariana MISS Ethan trying to kiss her cheek because she was too busy speed-walking after Cynthia: 🧐👀 PRIORITIES, QUEEN."
Photo of Cynthia and Ariana whispering during the ceremony
"Them: 'They’re just good friends.'
Me: Explain THIS then. What top-secret gay agenda was being discussed here? I’ll wait. 🤔 #Cynthiana"
Split-screen meme: one half is Ethan looking uncomfortable, the other half is Ariana hugging Cynthia from behind on stage
"Find someone who looks at you the way Ariana looks at Cynthia while ignoring her man’s existence entirely. ❤️"
A meme of someone with a fake shocked expression holding a phone
"Me, scrolling Twitter after the Blind Item about Ariana and Ethan arguing at the party:
‘Could NOT have seen this coming.’ 😏"
Clip of Cynthia and Ariana swaying together with a caption over Ariana’s face: ‘Girlfriend?’ and Cynthia’s face: ‘Wife.’
"These two had no business being this married on live TV. 😭 #Cynthiana"
A GIF of someone pushing two dolls together dramatically
"Shippers when Ariana hugged Cynthia from behind and swayed with her ON STAGE for the whole world to see: ‘Now KISS.’"
A screencap of a blurry photo of Cynthia and Ariana dancing at the after-party
"Blind Item this, Blind Item that—THEY’RE OUT HERE SLOW DANCING LIKE A COUPLE AT THEIR WEDDING. #Cynthiana"
A meme of a guy yelling at his screen
"‘Ethan needs to just pack it up at this point. Cynthia’s already claimed the girlfriend title. 🤷♀️"
A fan-edited photo of Cynthia and Ariana standing close with wedding rings Photoshopped onto their hands
"Do we even need a formal announcement at this point? These two are already basically married. #Cynthiana #CriticsChoice"
A video clip of the moment Ariana grabbed Cynthia’s waist on stage with dramatic zoom-ins and heart emojis added
"Me rewatching this for the 20th time because these two said, ‘Subtlety? We don’t know her.’ 💅 #CynthianaEndgame"
Amused, Cynthia smiled and shook her head. But Cynthia was curious about how Ariana felt about how fans talked about Ethan. It was clear they were making him the butt of the joke, but Ariana included those posts to share as if it wasn’t an issue.
She chewed her lip, wondering if she should even mention it. Her curiosity got the best of her.
‘How’s Ethan taking it?’ Cynthia messaged. She figured that was a gentle enough inquiry into the situation.
Cynthia was expecting a responding text, but she got the sudden notification for a video call. Cynthia clicked on the camera icon to receive it.
“Good morning, Cynthia!” Ariana’s head popped into the frame for a second before she disappeared again. Cynthia was left looking at bunched bedsheets and the decorated wall of Ariana’s bedroom as Ariana moved around, getting ready for whatever was on her schedule for the day. She had seemingly left her phone propped up against her pillows.
“Hi, my love.” Cynthia heard a clatter and a curse. She assumed Ariana dropped something, but the other woman wasn’t within frame for her to verify that. “You okay?” she asked.
“Yep. All good.” Ariana offered a rushed response. She popped her head back in the frame. Her hair was pushed into a tight bun. “But to answer your question…I don’t know how Ethan’s taking it. He decided to stay at his place last night, and he hasn’t come over this morning.” Then Ariana was back out of frame again.
Cynthia’s brow furrowed. “Are…you two okay?” she asked. “What’s going on?” She thought Ariana’s complaints from the night before were just much-needed rants that people in relationships sometimes needed to get off their chest before they made up with their significant other. But it had been a couple of weeks now…That didn’t bode well.
“Oh, no, we’re okay,” Ariana said. “Well, he’s okay. I’m-”
“What?” Cynthia asked, prompting her to continue.
Ariana came back into frame in a bathrobe and flopped onto her bed, holding the phone above her. “I…” She paused, and it became obvious she was about to admit something she had never said aloud to anyone yet. “I think I’ve got the ick.” She winced at her own statement, knowing it wasn’t good.
“Oh, no,” Cynthia intoned. She knew from personal experience that, when a girl got the ick, it could be a death sentence to a relationship.
“I know~” Ariana moaned. “I feel like a horrible person.”
“No, you’re not!” Cynthia hurriedly comforted her. “Why would you be a horrible person? You’re just being honest. You can’t help how you feel.”
“Well…because we’ve been through this whole scandal, and we risked so much just to be together. Now I’m feeling like this. I…What’s wrong with me?” Ariana’s voice cracked, and her eyes began to fill with tears. “I think I need to talk to my therapist.”
Cynthia sat up more fully in bed, wishing she could reach through the screen and hug her friend. “Yes,” she said. “Call your therapist up and talk about this. Listen…Don’t feel bad, okay? Whatever you’re feeling is natural. Just sit with yourself. Check in. Breathe. We’re all just doing the best we can. No one has a rule book. All we can do in this life is go after our happiness. Right? In whatever form that comes in. And if that turns out not to be Ethan, then…”
“I know, but it’s like…” Ariana sighed and sat up. She managed to keep her tears in check for the most part, protecting the mascara and lashes she had already applied. “Every time I get settled in a relationship, suddenly there’s some issue…And I’m starting to wonder if it’s me! Am I the problem? Am I just getting bored and finding shit that isn’t there? If that’s the case, I’m never gonna find anyone!”
“No, sweetie, don’t think like that. You will find someone! And even if you don’t, hey, I’m here! I’ll always be here! You’ve got me for life!”
Ariana sighed. “That’s not the same.”
“How is it not the same?”
“Are you gonna dick me down when I need a good fuck?!”
“I can!”
There was a beat of silence, and then both women burst into laughter. Cynthia would have said anything to cheer Ariana up, and she was glad that she had. The tears that had been clinging onto Ariana’s lashes were now falling because of her mirth and not because of her sadness.
“I can’t believe you said that,” Ariana said.
“I would,” Cynthia said, leaning into the bit. “That’s what friends are for, right? There through thick and thin.”
“Thick and thin, huh?” Ariana ribbed back.
Cynthia laughed. Of course, Ariana would always have her beat when it came to dirty quips. “I do have a pretty nice collection.”
Ariana’s jaw dropped. Cynthia was happy she could shock the other woman. “Cynthia!” Ariana said. “Maybe I should cry to you about my relationship problems more often! You’re giving me so much tea right now. Good tea!” Cynthia laughed. “You know how you have different friends that you talk about different things with? Like you have the friends you gossip with, the friends you only talk about work with, the friends you share deep shit with, and the friends you just send memes to? Well, I’m going to add you to my roster of friends I can talk about sex with. You’re a ‘sex talk’ friend now.”
“I’m a little offended that I wasn’t already part of that list,” Cynthia said good-naturedly.
“Okay, well…I don’t know if it’s the British accent or what. But I didn’t know if I could talk about sex with you; I’m sorry! You basically hit all of my other lists though. You’re my all-around friend. My best friend.” She smiled, probably because she knew what was coming.
“~Two good friends~” Cynthia sang.
“~Two best…friends~” Ariana sang back automatically.
“~Sharing one wonderful one short day~!” They sang together. If anyone would have been bearing witness, Cynthia was sure they would have labeled them as annoying. And it was probably true. Annoying. Cringy. Cheesy. But she had such fun being all of those things with Ariana.
Cynthia knew she had succeeded in turning Ariana’s mood around when Ariana continued to yap about any and everything. She listened attentively, interjecting her own stories here and there. And then she began to start her own routine for the day.
***
Back in her hotel room after the Virtuoso Awards in Las Vegas, Ariana stripped out of her gown and hung it up on the hook in her room. She would have to give it back to her stylist. She didn’t bother changing into anything else. She just laid down on the bed of the luxury hotel suite in her bra and underwear.
She clicked through her phone to respond to any messages she needed to respond to, and then she checked Instagram. She smiled when she immediately saw one of Cynthia’s posts from her night at the Superbowl. She went to her account, went through her stories, and liked all of them. They had talked earlier that day, and she was sure she’d hear all about the event tomorrow.
Ariana thought back to the conversation they’d had a couple of days ago and chuckled. She hadn’t been expecting that. Cynthia had basically offered to fuck her. Of course, Cynthia had been joking.
…Right?
She had had raunchy, flirty conversations with friends before. She wasn’t new to it. But the fact that it was Cynthia caused a little thrill to shoot through her chest…both then and now.
She was always liable to slip a dirty joke in every now and then, but Cynthia hardly ever volleyed back in such a manner.
Like an addict choosing to partake of just one more hit, Ariana went to her private Twitter account and scrolled through some of the posts about her and Cynthia. She found herself holding back giggles at the comments people were making about how Cynthia only laughed at her jokes, how they melted into each other when embracing…She turned onto her stomach and kicked her feet as she scrolled through.
She could understand the allure of shipping.
It was nice to imagine Cynthia wanting her. Wanting to touch her. Hold her. Kiss her.
She stopped kicking her feet.
“Oh, fuck,” she whispered. The words dispersed into the dark of the room and faded away.
Was that what she wanted? She wanted Cynthia to…want her?
“Oh, my God, nooo~” Ariana moaned. She grabbed a pillow and placed it over her face, trying to press out all of the intrusive thoughts. ‘Why can’t you just be normal?’ Her mind supplied, choosing that moment to become cruel. ‘All you do is fuck up your relationships. You cannot drag Cynthia into your mess.’
She took the pillow off of her face and threw it back to where she got it from.
Okay. She could do this.
She would talk to her therapist tomorrow, she absolutely would not mention any of this to Cynthia, and she would be completely, amazingly, very normal about this.
***
Ariana was not normal.
She was very not normal.
She spent the next three hours cyberstalking Cynthia’s old Instagram posts. For an unhinged, obsessive period, she was a time traveler - smiling at some of Cynthia’s old posts and videos, tracking when she and Lena started their relationship, feeling little pangs of hurt and jealousy whenever she came across the many, many comments Cynthia used to leave under Lena’s posts. Posts that clearly showed how thirsty she was for the other woman. She couldn’t help but to compare. Cynthia didn’t leave comments like that under her posts; and - besides that one time (which may or may not have been all a joke) - she had never playfully hinted at any sexual desire towards her. Maybe this was how Cynthia acted with people she was truly attracted to. There were so many heart eyes and even - “For God’s sake,” Ariana whispered - squirt and drooling emojis under Lena’s posts.
‘Am I even her type?’ Ariana wondered. Lena didn’t exactly tap into her feminine energy much. Maybe Cynthia was only attracted to masculine-presenting people?
Ariana went to her messages and sent a photo to Cynthia. It was an unreleased photo of the photoshoot she had done in the business suit. She was holding her tie up and out to the side while the shirt lay unbuttoned at the top. ‘Should I post this photo for my lesbian fans?’ She sent the message along with the photo so that there was some excuse as to why she was sending the picture.
After she sent the message, she closed her eyes and sighed with immediate regret. “You are literally a crazy person,” she whispered to herself. She turned her phone off and sat it off to the side.
Then she rolled over and forced herself to fall asleep in order to escape from her own swirling mind for a bit.
When she woke up, she was greeted with Cynthia’s response to her photo and her question.
‘1000%,’ the message read. And then there was a drooling emoji.
Dopamine flowed through Ariana’s body. A smile spread across her face. The coveted drooling emoji. She had received it. She felt…accomplished.
She allowed herself to bask in that feeling before she messaged her therapist, asking for a quick meeting over the phone. Because what the fuck?