Forgive me, Darling - Smut
“For fuck’s sake!”
As if the day couldn’t get any worse, you had managed to burn dinner. Severus was going to be home at any moment and he was bound to be starving. You were so busy trying to tidy up and reorganize his study, that you lost track of time. You were hoping he would be sympathetic, and you two could just go catch a bite at the three broomsticks.
You untied your apron and draped it over the counter and settled down on the couch. Surely the day would improve once you were able to wrap your arms around your lovely boyfriend.
As if on cue, you heard shuffling behind the front door. Seconds later, a disgruntled Severus Snape walked in. You jumped off the couch to bring him into a hug, hoping it would melt away the stresses of your day. However, when you slid your arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to his cheek, he didn’t seem to care for it. You pulled back to look at him in the eyes.
“Sev is everything al-”
“What is that god awful smell?” He interrupted. He pushed past you and dropped his bag and coat onto the coffee table. Your cheeks burned at his statement. He raised a brow at your silence, staring at you confused as he removed his gloves and scarf.
“I…um lost track of time.” You fiddled with your fingers and bit your lip. “So, I may have accidentally burned dinner.” You gave him a half smile, but he didn’t return it. He brought his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose.
“Again?” His eyes were screwed shut. He was clearly angry but was trying to hide it under a calm tone. You knew him too well to be deceived. Something was bothering him.
“Severus… Babe, what’s wrong?” You stepped closer to him, but he held out a hand to stop you.
“Nothing. Just a rough day.” He sighed and started pulling items out from within his bag. You knew you shouldn’t push the matter further. Severus had a temper. He was usually able to keep it under control, but if you pushed his buttons just right, he would snap. There have been many occasions where the two of you had screaming matches after a disagreement.
Severus loved to give the silent treatment. Whenever he was upset, all he wanted to do was lock himself up in his study and stay to himself. You were the opposite. Whenever you had a bad day or an argument, you just wanted to curl up on the sofa with him and talk about it. If the thing that bothered you didn’t involve him then he would happily oblige. He would hold you and stroke your back as you complained about your co-workers or even something unimportant like the weather.
But if you two ever had a disagreement, he would shut down. It hurt you whenever he shut you out and you were getting quite tired of it. You were his girlfriend! He needed to learn how to communicate with you.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” You sat back on the sofa and patted the spot next to you.
“No. I’ve got work to do.” He gathered the books he pulled from his bag and made his way to his study.
“Sev wait.” You jumped up to follow him. “Please talk to me.” The door slammed in your face. You couldn’t stop the tears from falling. You gave the door a harsh kick.
“Stop isolating me!” You sobbed as you slid down the door onto the cold tile. You buried your face into your hands as sobs continued to wrack your body. You sat there for a while crying and begging, and just as you were about to give up, the door opened. Your teary gaze met Severus’ furious one.
“Sev?” You whispered. Somehow you had hoped that seeing you in this state would soften him up, as it normally does, but he still looked furious. In fact, Severus looked angrier than before he went into his office.
“Where. Is. My. Parchment.” His fists were clenched. He was still trying to keep a calm tone, but the anger was seeping out. This was the first time you felt fearful of the man in front of you. His body was shaking with rage.
“P-Parchment?” You scrambled to your feet. Your voice cracking each time you spoke.
“The parchment. The one that was on my desk. The one that had all the grades for my student’s last exam. The grades I spent hours getting together. The parchment that was on my desk this morning before I left. Where. Is. It?” The volume of his voice increased with each question. By the time he finished he was screaming them.
“P-Parchment. I don’t” You were unable to form words. You were crying again. This only infuriated him more.
“Pathetic. You burn dinner, misplace my belongings, and can’t even form a coherent sentence. Can you do anything right Y/N?” He scoffed.
“You don’t mean that Severus.”
“What is there not to mean? You mess up everything you touch.” His arms were crossed now. Never had Severus been so cruel to you. Sure, you had your disagreements before, but never had he insulted you. Especially when he knew how insecure you were about… well everything.
“I’m sorry.” Apologizing had become a habit. Even when you weren’t in the wrong, you tended to apologize. Something Severus had tried to correct but proved hopeless.
Severus’ hardened expression faltered for just a moment. Why was she apologizing? He had insulted you and here you were apologizing to him. He regretted his words after they left his lips, but it was too late to take them back. He just needed to get away from you before he hurt you farther. He always isolated himself during his bad moods because he feared if he didn’t, he would lash out. Unfortunately, he did just that. Now he had hurt the one person who loves him.
“Yes. Well.” He cleared his throat. Now looking at your shaking form. “Just stay out of my office from now on.” He went to turn back into his office but was stopped by you calling out to him.
“That’s it?”
He barely heard the words. He stepped closer to you, his anger returning. “Excuse me?”
“I said. That’s it? You’re just going to insult me and then go hide in your office?” Your wide E/C eyes were brimming with tears again. Your fists were clenched at your side. You couldn’t discern Severus’ emotions. His mouth was parted slightly in shock at your words, but there was a trace of something in his eyes.
The anger melted away from Severus. He was suddenly disgusted with himself. He had taken his anger out from his pestering students on you. Now you were angry with him. He should be holding you, telling you how much he loves you, not fighting with you. He closed the distance between you, determined to pull you into a kiss. When he raised his hand to grab your chin, you did something that made his heartbeat cease. You flinched.
It all happened so fast. He closed you in against the wall, his dark eyes meeting yours. Then from the corner of your vision, you saw him raise his hand. You recoiled away instantly and fell to the floor. Raising your hands to shield yourself from him. You had been in this situation before. Trying to prevent harm from coming your way. You hadn’t been successful those times. The circular burns on your arms showed the proof of that.
“Please don’t!” You shouted desperately. You refused to meet his gaze. ‘It would only upset him more’ You told yourself.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please I’m so sorry.” You winced at the gentle touch on your wrist.
“Y/N” Severus spoke hoarsely. “Y/N look at me.”
You violently shook your head and tried to remove his touch from your wrists. He got down to his knees and released his hold on your wrists to slide his palms up and down the expanse of your arms.
“Y/N please. I’m so sorry. I would never hurt you."
Now he had done it. He messed up beyond repair. You would never forgive him for this one. Hell, he would never forgive himself. He had made you scared of him, so much so that you actually thought he would hit you. He sat down next to you and wrapped his arms around you to pull you in so you straddled his lap.
“Y/N” he whispered in your ear. One of his hands held you around your waist, the other ran soothing circles on your back. He repeated the words, “It’s ok. I’m so sorry love.” Over and over until your breathing returned to normal and you relaxed in his arms. After crying into his chest for some time, you pulled away to wipe your tears. He didn’t remove his hands from your body but lowered his head down to stare into your eyes.
“I’m so sorry my love. Please know that I would never ever hurt you. Please could you ever forgive me?” He slid his hand from your waist to cup your cheek. You leaned into his touch and closed your eyes. A few more tears escaped, but he wiped them away quickly with his thumb. He leaned forward and pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead. You pulled him closer as he continued kissing you all over your face. Pressing kisses over the last tears that left you.
Finally, his lips brushed over your own. He did not press them into yours, he waited for you to make the first move. You held him by his cheeks and connected your lips together in a tentative kiss. When you pulled away, you let yourself look into his eyes for the first time since he insulted you. Anger was absent from his face. All that remained was regret, passion, and the slightest trace of fear.
You captured his lips in another kiss, this one more sensual. His hand moved to the small of your back to pull you in closer. Severus usually tried to dominate the kiss, forcing his tongue in your mouth and he would man handle you to the perfect position. Tonight, he let you take the lead. He was content just holding you close and feeling your soft lips against his. He just didn’t want you to stop.
He was afraid when you pulled away, you would come to your senses and start hating him. You would get up and leave him alone on the floor. He was brought out of his distracted thoughts by you grinding your hips down against him. His hands flew to either side of your hips and squeezed them gently.
You pulled away from the kiss and pressed your forehead against his, both of you were panting heavily.
“Do you still love me?” Severus reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, but he let his hand linger on your cheek.
“I never stopped Sev. Not even for a moment.” You pulled his hand to your lips and kissed his knuckles. These words were all he needed to hear. He got to his feet, pulling you with him. He pressed you against the wall and leaned in to leave kisses over your neck. He sucked and bit love bites into your soft skin, making you call out to him. You slid your arms around his neck, and he held you close by your thighs, lips still attached to your neck.
“Up” He spoken in-between kisses. You took the hint and let him lift you so you could wrap your legs around his waist. His hands rested under the curve of your ass. His bites were more becoming aggressive. You were definitely going to have hickies come morning. Severus gripped you tighter and pushed away from the wall and carried you down the hall. He used his foot to kick open the door of your shared bedroom. He placed you down softly onto the silk sheets and backed away to begin removing his robes.
His fingers were working open each button much too slow for your liking. You started to reach up to assist him, but he only pulled your hands away. “Patience, my dear.” He hummed.
Once he was left only in his black trousers, he joined you again on the bed. Severus grabbed your wrist to flip over your arms. The old cigarette burns that littered your arms now exposed. He brought his mouth down to press soft and tender kisses to each spot. Severus knew you came from a bad home life much like he had, but he had never really connected the dots that there had been physical abuse until tonight.
You were breathing rapidly. Anticipation and nerves coursing through your body. Just wanting to be as close as possible to the man you loved. When his kisses trailed from your arms to the crook of your neck, you reached up to start unbuttoning your blouse, but his hand closed over yours.
“Let me.” He captured your lips again while he unbuttoned your top. When you tried to raise your hips to meet his again, he put a firm hand on your stomach to keep you still. Finally, he slid the material from your shoulders which in turn exposed your bra to him.
“Lovely” He hummed and cupped your breast. His kisses travelled down your cleavage until he met the band of your bra. His hands raked down the sides of your body. Taking in every curve and relishing in the feel of your skin against his. He licked a stripe from your sternum down to your navel. A breathy moan escaped your lips.
“Sev. Stop teasing.” You whined.
“‘M not teasing. Just savoring.”
Whatever he wanted to call it, his sensual touches were driving you crazy. Every time you tried to encourage him to go faster, or move his hand a bit lower, he would only go slower. Each touch was punctuated with a whisper of praise or compliment. Sometimes you missed his words, but whenever you would catch him saying “You’re so beautiful Y/N.” butterflies would break out in your stomach.
After what felt like hours of just kissing, his hands reached the waistband of your skirt. He didn’t tug it down as you expected, he only flipped it up to take in the view of your underwear, which now sported a large wet spot. Severus cupped your heat and hummed appreciatively.
“So wet. Only for me though, right darling?”
His words turned your cheeks scarlet. Too embarrassed to answer you tried to hide your face in the pillows.
“Answer.” He simply said and turned you by your chin to meet his gaze. He wasn't content with your simple nod either. He applied more pressure where he cupped you. "With words baby."
“Yes Sev. Only for you.” You panted. He smiled brightly and leaned up to press a kiss to your cheek.
“Good girl.” He whispered in your ear. He sat back up and began removing his belt and trousers. Maintaining eye contact with you the whole time. Once left only clad in boxers, you sat up determined to please him. He again lightly pushed you back onto the bed.
“Not tonight my sweet. Tonight, is about you and your pleasure.” His hands stroked your inner thighs making you shudder with anticipation. He finally hooked his hands into the elastic of your skirt and tugged it down, taking your underwear along with it, discarding the clothing somewhere on the floor.
Using one of his large hands, he lifted your thigh to rest over his shoulder as he placed himself in front of your heat. Without warning, he licked a line from your opening up to your clit making you cry out and thread your fingers through his hair. He groaned and attached his lips to your clit and started to suck feverishly. The pleasure was overwhelming, and you couldn’t stop yourself from tugging on his hair
Your thighs were shaking but you were unable to close them due to Severus' rough grip. Keeping you wide open and unable to avoid the pleasurable strokes of his tongue. He brought his other hand up to slowly insert his fingers into you. He smirked as you moaned out in surprise.
You stayed like this for a while. The languid strokes of his fingers paired with the small swipes of his tongue were never enough to push you over the edge. It left you begging and whining.
“Sev. Please.” Your knuckles were turning white with how tightly you were holding onto the sheets.
“Please what? What do you want, darling?” He peered up from between your thighs to meet you dazed expression. He knew exactly what he was doing. Trying to embarrass you by getting you to say exactly what you wanted.
“I want you. Please.”
“You already have me. You need to be more specific, love.” He smirked at you, still thrusting his fingers in and out of your soaking core. A groan of pleasure and frustration left you.
“Need you. Your cock. Please.”
“Only because you beg so pretty.” He removed his fingers from you and brought them to his lips. Taking care to make quite the show as he sucked your arousal from his fingers. He finally removed your bra, followed shortly after by his boxers.
He took several moments to admire your breasts. Taking a swollen nipple into his mouth and sucking enthusiastically before switching to the other. He caught you off guard when he bit down slightly, causing you to gasp.
“You said you would stop teasing.”
He only smirked and returned to pressing kisses all over your chest. Until you finally had enough. While he was distracted, you were able to push him off you and straddle his thighs. Leaving you on top, and him pinned under you.
“Mmm this is a welcome surprise.” He was smirking. Much too cocky for your liking. Any other night he would've flipped you back over, but tonight he let you have this one liberty.
“You were taking too long.”
“Then by all means. Get started.” He brought his hands to your hips to help raise you. You reached down to position his cock at your entrance. Then slowly, you sunk down onto him. You both moaned in unison at the connection. You loved the feeling of being full of him.
You remained still until you adjusted to the position and his size, then tentatively began to rock your hips forward. When Severus moaned at your movements, you gained enough confidence to continue.
Severus helped set the pace. Keeping a firm hold on your hips as you bounced on him. Each drag of his cock along your walls bringing you closer to the edge. His head lolled back in pleasure, exposing his neck to you, which you didn’t hesitate to attack with kisses and bites.
You were both moaning in each other’s ears, his raspy grunts only spurred you on. His hips were snapping up to meet yours now, which meant he had to of been close. Severus buried his face in your hair and pulled you closer to him by your waist.
“Y/N look at me. Please.” He was breathless as he spoke. Desperation laced in his tone. You pulled yourself away from his neck to peer into his onyx eyes. He stared at you with such intensity, it sent pangs of pleasure through you. He pulled you closer, so your foreheads were pressed against one another. Both of your staggered breaths fanning across the other’s face as your hips connected.
“I love you so much.” He said before closing the short distance between your lips to kiss you. His tongue easily working its way past your parted lips. All moans muffled into the kiss.
Your movements were growing sloppy as your thighs tensed. Severus sensed this and took over, cupping your ass to help your thrust against him.
“Severus…I” you trailed off. It was getting harder to form words as you neared your climax.
“Go ahead, my love.” He tilted your chin to force eye-contact. His other hand came down to brush against your swollen clit. That was enough to push you over the edge. Still staring into his eyes, you clamped down on his length and whined out his name. He kept thrusting into you through your peak.
As you came down from your high, Severus was rapidly approaching his own. You returned to his neck to place gentle kisses along his collarbone. His groans were continuous, and his thrusts lost their precision. With one particularly deep thrust, he tensed and began to spill his come inside you.
“Y/N” He cried out next to your ear. His nails dug into your thighs. The pain deliciously mixing with pleasure pushed you over the edge an additional time. Your nails ran down his back, no doubt leaving marks in their wake. He hissed at your movements, but still held you close as your walls fluttered around him. You stayed like that for several moments. Still connected, as you both tried to catch your breath.
Severus was the first to pull back. He brushed away the sweaty bits of hair that stuck to your forehead and tucked them behind your ear and kissed the top of your head.
“I love you too, Sev”
He chuckled and eased himself out of you. You whined at the loss, but his coos quieted you. “I love you most, dearest.”
Severus leaned over to where his robes were discarded. Riffling through the fabric until he retrieved his wand. With a small wave of his wand and a wordless incantation, you were both cleaned up. Now settling back into the bed, he pulled you close so your head rested on his bare chest and his arms wrapped tightly around you.
“Goodnight.” He whispered. He knew in the morning a serious discussion would need to be had, but tonight he just wanted to relish in holding you close. To bask in the bliss of having made love to his beautiful girlfriend.
He pressed a final kiss to the top of your head. You hummed in contentment and closed your eyes. The feeling of him running his hands through your hair lulling you to a peaceful sleep.