The Secret
After the second task, all everyone could do was wait.
The third task apparently took three months to create and Sirius thought it took that long because the ministry didn’t think they’d make it this far.
“Reggie?” Sirius carried the ‘e’.
“What?” His brother laughed. They were in their dorm which they shared because they were the only boys from Beauxbaton that came to Hogwarts.
“I’m bored and Remus is napping and James is with Lily.”
Regulus rolled his eyes and put his art book down. “Want to try drawing a self portrait again?” He suggested.
Sirius snorted and rolled onto his back. “You’re just saying that so you can show off again.”
“Je ne suis pas!” He gasped. “I am not!”
Sirius hummed. “Oui, vous l'êtes.” “Yes you are!”
It was silent for a moment.
“I learnt some Welsh, cause your boyfriend is- you know- from Wales.” Regulus muttered.
Sirius sat up and stared at him in awe. Reg had always been quick at learning languages, he spoke 5 fluently. French, English, Latin, Greek and Portuguese.
Now 6th being Welsh.
“I will forever never understand how you pick these things up.” Sirius said shaking his head. Regulus shrugged and went back to admiring artwork.
“When you’re passionate about something enough you can pick it up easily.”
“What, so you want to be a language whore or something?” Sirius chuckled.
“No.” Regulus replied. Sirius groaned and fell back onto the bed.
“You and your short answers I swear to Seigneur.”
At dinner a few days later, Sirius was starting to notice a pattern.
Once a month Remus had to go. Go see his mother, meet with his father or something rather. And whenever he returned he was limping and wincing whenever someone pat his shoulder.
“You notice somethings wrong with Remus?” Sirius asked James at dinner before the others got there.
James took a bite out of his roll and had a thoughtful expression. “Sometimes. He’s too skinny for his own good and those scars look nasty but it’s rude to ask.”
“I know,” Sirius groaned. “But I’m worried and he was limping all day today. He said he’s doing something for Arnoldi tonight but I don’t believe it.”
“So, you’re suggesting we follow him? Like a heist?” James looked excited.
“Thats exactly what I’m suggesting Prongs! You in?”
James nodded quickly and put a smirk on his face, taking another bite of his roll. “And I have just the thing.”
Remus had come to dinner looking pale and winced when anyone raised their voice. Sirius knew he wasn’t okay and as someone who came from an abusive household - physically and verbally - he’s taking it upon himself to look out for his Moony.
Remus had mumbled that he had to leave at 6:40 and James and Sirius watched him limp slightly out of the Hall.
“How did I not notice before? He looks awful.” James pouted.
“Thats why we’re doing this, for the sake of our fellow Champion.” Sirius said putting a finger up.
“Ooo what are you guys planning? I know that tone anywhere Padfoot.” Lily questioned with a raised eyebrow.
“Nothing of importance just… Marauder business, yeah, Marauder business.” Sirius stumbled. James laughed and put an arm around his neck.
“Don’t ask questions cause we ain’t going to answer, Lily flower.” James said with a wink at his girlfriend.
Lily sighed and returned to eating. “Don’t get caught alright?”
James and Sirius winked one last time at their friends before James pulled him out of the Great Hall. He took him behind a dark corner of a staircase with a wicked grin.
“You gonna kill me Prongs?” Sirius teased.
James shook his head, “It’s better than killing you Pads, it’s this.” And he picked up a folded blanket and spread it out, putting it around his body and disappearing except for his head.
Sirius gasped and felt the fabric. “You’ve had an invisibility cloak this whole bloody time and didn’t think to mention it! My mum would kill for this.”
James laughed and put the cloak on top of Sirius. “Its my dads, he let me take it school as long as mum doesn’t find out. Wormy, Frank and I have done some sweet pranks with this over the years.”
Sirius suddenly felt jealous. He could have gone here, but his parents just had to be French and it just had to be in their noble Black name to attend Beauxbatons and not Hogwarts. If things were different, maybe Remus could have gone here too. The boys could’ve shared a room with Peter and Frank and James and they could have done so many pranks. Stalking the night under this magnificent cloak, making the teachers lives hell, being the loudest group at every meal. Having Christmas with the Gryffindors had been the best Christmas Sirius ever had, he didn’t have to go home and he felt so safe. Maybe in another life the Marauders could be real, maybe he and Remus could be together, maybe Regulus would’ve been in the same house as him and they could be the Black sheep together. Maybe is a dangerous game that could drive Sirius into insanity if he got hung up on it. Maybe doesn’t exist here, this is his life and he was going to live it to the fullest. He and Remus could still a couple, they could write to each other every day and then move in together after they graduate. After Sirius saves him from whatever makes him come back more vulnerable than he was before he left, he was going to ask him and he was going to tell him he loves him.
“Oi, you okay Pads? I’ve been talking to you for 10 minutes and you haven’t made a snarky remark about me being whipped for Evans.” James chuckled.
“I’m fine, just thinking about Remus and hoping he’s okay. I think I saw him go to McGonagall’s office one time so he’s probably there.” Sirius said quickly.
“Are you and him together?” James asked curiously.
Sirius breathed a laugh. “We aren’t exactly together together but I want to talk to him about it. After the Yule Ball we were kind of drunk and we did some stuff, by stuff I mean shaggi-“
“Okay! I don’t need the details thank you,” James said harshly, although he was laughing.
“You told me every tiny detail about you and Evans and did I complain?” Sirius replied.
“Yes. Numerous times actually.” James sounded monotone.
“Then you can suck it up and see how it feels.”
“Fine, but don’t say anything you wouldn’t say to your mother.”
“If my mother found out I was a poof, she’d throw me out the window before I even get to talk about Remus.” Sirius shivered at the thought of disgust in her eyes.
“Well, I won’t throw you out the window for being a poof. Alice would be so smug if you told her about you and Moony though. She predicted Remus was gay before she even talked to him all that time ago in September.” James sighed at the memory. They reached McGonagall’s office which opened so quickly the boys had to step back.
Remus and Madame Pompfrey walked out, she looked at Remus with pity that went to the pit of Sirius’s stomach.
“You’re going to be alright Remus. Your hip after last month looked really bad so I did some reading and concocted a potion that may ease the pain, we can try it in the morning okay? Have something to look forward to.” She said kindly with a hand lightly on Remus’s arm. Remus looked like he was about to tip over.
“We should get going dear, can you walk or do I need to get a stretcher?”
Sirius had to put a hand over his mouth to stop himself from gasping. What the hell was going on with Remus that he had to get a stretcher?
“M’alright, please stop worrying.” He said tiredly. The pair started walking off, Remus more limping and the boys followed them.
They walked across the ground and stopped in front of the Whooping Willow which James explained had been planted at the start of the year. Poppy waved her wand and the tree stopped swaying. She and Remus went to the trunk of the tree and then disappeared.
“What the fuck is happening?” James whispered. Sirius shrugged but with the cloak still on, they went to the trunk and saw a tunnel.
“Is this a dungeon? Is he getting whipped by goblins or something?” James said. Sirius punched his shoulder and they went into the tunnel. It was dark, so dark that Sirius had to use Lumos. The boys followed the voice of Madam Pomphrey where she and Remus were in a room that was scratched up and bloody. Remus was sitting on a wooden bed with a thin mattress, he was changing out of his clothes but left his boxers on as Pomphrey kept talking.
“-schools are trying to get the ministry to change the date of the last challenge dear. The ministry are stubborn old men that are set on the date of the full moon, I will not let you be in danger, or let any student be in danger. Although you are not really a student here, you are my patient and I care about you okay? Madam Finley wrote to me saying the best potions for the harsher moons so I will be more prepared. I’ll leave you to it then, I’ll be back to get you at dawn alright dear.” Sirius saw her leave the room and use a locking spell on the door. She leaned against it and stifled a sob, took a deep breath and walked past them.
“Bloody hell.” James whispered furiously. Sirius could only nod.
They unlocked the door and took off the cloak. Remus looked up and gasped, he had fear in his eyes.
“Get the fuck out, now!” He screamed at them, his body was heaving heavily and Sirius wanted to run and hug him.
The champions stared at each other in silence then Sirius couldn’t hold back and hugged the taller boy. He expected to get hugged back but definitely not to be thrown to ground with Remus staring at him with such fear.
“It’s alright Moony, we’ll get you out of here. We want to help you.” He said slowly, with a slight smile.
Remus shook his head and gestured for them to leave. His body was heaving more now and then his back clicked and he gasped in pain.
Sirius and James went to him with worried eyes. Remus was shaking his head with tears streaming down his cheeks.
“Out, out, out! It’s going to literally kill you if you don’t” Remus gasped in pain.
“Remus, please you’re scaring us.” James said loudly, Remus scoffed a little.
Then the full moons light streamed in through the cracks of the covered windows. Remus looked so desperate and pointed to the door, speaking wasn’t an option anymore. His body collapsed onto the floor and his back cracked again, his arms snapped the wrong way and he threw his head back to scream. Sirius and James were huddled near the door watching as their friend screamed, his body transforming against his will.
As if trying to hold back his transformation his looked at them and sobbed as his knees cracked and he fell fully onto the floor. His boxers ripped as his shins got thinner and his thighs bigger. His back bones became so prominent that Sirius thought the skin was going to tear, instead skin was covered with brown fur. The curls that Sirius loved to run his hands through became shorter
and Remus’s ears turned pointed. He heaved one last time and then everyone was silent. Sirius and James were holding their breaths and Sirius knew he was crying.
“Moony?” He whispered. Remus snapped his head and his golden eyes were wolfine. Instead of a gorgeous face, his was furred and he had a face of a werewolf. He bared his teeth at them and growled.
“Sirius, we need to go. Like, right now.” James whimpered. He took Sirius’s elbow and pulled, Sirius tried to resist but James was stronger and as the wolf stalked towards them with saliva
streaming down his mouth, James slammed the door shut and put the locking spell on it.
They leaned against the opposite wall as they heard the sounds of the wolf trying to break down the door. He howled and Sirius started sobbing.
“He’s a werewolf! Moony is a bloody werewolf.” He sobbed into James’s shoulder. James was flinching at every bang as the wolf made.
“He really isn’t doing something for Arnoldi.” James said hoarsely.
“We- we can’t leave him there, the wolf- the wolf took him he… wouldn’t.” Sirius stammered. James shook his head and lead them out of the shack. The whooping willow had returned to normal so they put on the invisibility cloak and sprinted away, bodies shaking with fear and tears.
James took the black haired boy back to his dorm where they sat in silence. James was throwing and catching his snitch and Sirius was staring at the floor.
“That explains a lot.” Sirius started. James nodded with empathy.
“He looked so scared to see us. We should tell him it’s alright, you know how people are with half humans.”
“But he’s not a half human. He’s Moony, and he’s the bravest most human person I know.” Sirius said fiercely.
James put a hand on his shoulder, “Of course he’s still Moony, just with a furry little problem.”
Sirius laughed. “You think anyone else knows, like from Durmstrang?”
“Marlene knows, she walks on eggshells around him all day on full moons.”
“What about Igor and the other one?”
“Bloody hell, I don’t know Padfoot. And his name’s August which you should learn if you’re going to be with Remus. And Igor is a git, he’d probably use Remus on full moons to like, kill people or something. Do you think he’s killed anyone?”
“Lets hope not, I don’t want to be in love with a criminal.” Sirius chuckled to himself.
James’s eyes widened and he gasped at his friend. “You love him!”
“Well duh, we’ve been hooking up since Christmas and have you seen him? Who wouldn’t love that adorable face?” Sirius rolled his eyes, James still looked wide eyed.
“You love him even after all that?”
Sirius frowned. “Yes. It doesn’t change who he is, and I was just confused, I didn’t know what I was expecting but it wasn’t that. Moony deserves love, and I’ll give it to him, all of it.”
“What about after the tournament, do you think you can make it work?” James sounded concerned.
“You and Lily are making it work so why can’t Remus and me? If he wants to be with me still and reciprocates my feelings then yes, we can make it work.” He fiddled with his rings. He remembered one time between the first challenge when he touched Remus’s hand and Remus had hissed, taking back his hand quickly. Sirius had been upset with the reaction but thinking back on it, werewolf’s couldn’t touch silver without it burning their skin. He took them off and put them in his jean pocket.
“He’ll be in the infirmary tomorrow morning. Let’s go in and visit him, tell him it’s okay and we still want to be friends with him. He’ll be bashing himself up about it knowing him.” Sirius suggested. James nodded with a smile saying it was a good idea.
Sirius stayed in the Gryffindor dorms that night but couldn’t sleep for the life of him.
——
Remus was disappointed he woke up the next morning.
His friends saw him. They followed him and didn’t listen and saw him turn into a monster.
Remus had never seen himself transform but it felt ugly and agonisingly painful, and he predicted it would’ve looked the same.
What if he injured either of them? What if he killed them?
He looked down at his naked body and started crying. His right side was heavily bruised and he saw a giant bleeding scar starting from his left shoulder to the bruises. He tasted blood on his lips and felt it drip from his nose. His body wracked with sobs as he imagined his friends reactions when they see him. Or maybe they won’t see him. The thought made Remus feel sick.
James’s usual confident smirk had disappeared when he had seen Remus last night, he looked frightened and pushed against the door. And Sirius. Oh Sirius. He was sobbing as if he couldn’t believe Remus was a dark creature, he had hidden underneath James’s arms when Remus looked at him. They looked so scared of him, and Remus could have killed them.
“Remus, are you okay in there?” Madame Pomphrey called out.
She must have heard his sobs because she entered and ran down to his crying form. She sighed and pulled him into a motherly hug, stroking down his hair like Marlene does and rocking him back and forth.
“I know dear, no one should have to go through what you go do. Such a brave young man you are, such a worthy champion.” She softly spoke, this only made Remus cry harder and he buried his face into her neck.
He remembered he was naked and moved his knees to his chest, the motion hurt but he didn’t wince. Poppy pulled back and smiled at him softly, the dawn sun was coming through the cracks.
“Can you walk love?”
Remus nodded and put his boxers and shirt on quickly. The blood from his cut seeped through his shirt and he crossed his arms to cover it. He was limping and his face felt bloody and animalistic, but it was his blood which he had never been so grateful for.
“Rest dear, I’ll heal your wounds.” Madam Pomphrey said as he lay in bed, his tears had dried but if he spoke he’d probably start crying. He drank the sleeping drought quickly and hoped it would sedate him until after the Tournament.
“He’s not in here, get out!” Remus heard Marlene yell as he slowly woke up.
“We know he’s in here.” James yelled back. Remus froze and started panicking. They were here to kick him out of the Tournament! And he was only in a nightdress with bandages wrapped around his torso and a thin cubicle curtain covering his bed.
“Well you must’ve been high last night cause I’ve never seen Remus in here.”
“We literally saw him when we walked in here.” Sirius deadpanned. Remus held his breath and hoped Marlene would make them go. He couldn’t face Sirius today.
“Get what you came here to get then get lost!” Marlene threatened, he imagined her crossing her arms with a deadly glare.
“But we came here to see Remus.” Sirius replied in her same tone and Remus really started panicking.
Marlene was silent and Remus heard loud footsteps heading his way. The blinds were ripped open and standing over him were Sirius and James.
Remus suddenly felts uncomfortably vulnerable as the boys stared at each other. Sirius was frowning and James was scratching his ear.
He couldn’t take it anymore and started crying, they could see his scarred arms and were looking at his scarred face and his upper lip had dried blood on it. He was so terrifyingly ugly and he was so in love with the unfathomable beauty that was Sirius Black and James Potter was the handsome heart taker of Hogwarts and it wasn’t fair. They were his best friends and they hated him now. He always predicted Marlene hated him but felt sorry for him so she didn’t leave, but she let the boys see him all vulnerable and ugly and it seemed like she hated him too.
“Just fucking say it. Get it over with.” Remus cried into his hands.
Sirius and James were now both frowning and Remus wanted to hide in his blankets forever. “What are you on about mate?” James said steadily.
“That you hate me now and don’t want to be my friends. About how ugly I am and that I’m a monster who wanted to rip you to shreds last night.” He sobbed. Remus felt a soft hand on his shoulder that made him flinch. He looked up and saw Sirius smiling down at him.
“You must be bloody mad to think we’d ditch you because you can turn into a furry.”
Remus laughed wetly. “Padfoot, you don’t have to say all this kind nonsense, I can ta-“
“You know you just get sexier every time I learn something new about you?” Sirius said with a large smile, “That half man half wolf thing you have going on is doing stuff to me Moony, I cannot lie to you.”
James scoffed and hit the back of Sirius’s head. “We are here to show our support, not explain your kinks to our friend. We had a plan Padfoot, stick to it! Sorry about him Moony, he’s had a hard morning.”
“Pun very much intended.” Sirius added with a wicked smirk.
Remus was holding his breath and looked at the boys with a confused look.
“You- you aren’t scared of me?”
James snorted. “You bloody fold my shirts for me whenever you come to my dorm, sorry if I’m not shaking at the sight of you.”
Remus put a sad smile on and felt himself start to tear up again. “Last night you both looked pretty shaken up.”
“We weren’t expecting it Remus. And you were on the ground screaming and it- it was a horrifying sound. “ Sirius said softly, he was holding both of Remus’s hands now, stroking along the knuckles, he was sitting on the edge of the bed. “And you aren’t ugly. I don’t know where you got that from but I feel rather offended since I quite like your face.” Sirius started caressing his cheeks and kissed a stray tear.
Remus turned red and saw James turn away to give them privacy. Marlene must have ran off after the interrogation started.
“You don’t- you don’t have to Padfoot. You’re gorgeous and can have anyone you want, literally anyone and I’ll understand, sure I’l-“
Sirius kissed him with both hands holding his face. He had taken off his rings which he normally always wore and Remus had to start wearing thick gloves when they began holding hands. Sirius
kissed him for a long while, deep and with so much tongue Remus was sure it was going to reach the back of his throat. Then Sirius pulled away smiling, licking Remus’s lips for good measure.
Remus couldn’t believe it. And for him, most things were too good to be true. “Is this a joke or something.” His voice cracked.
Sirius looked taken aback and nosed his cheek. “Why would I joke about something as precious as you?”
“I’m- I’m a werewolf though!”
“So?”
“So! I could have killed you last night and you deserve the best, you deserve the best in the world and I’m a dark fucking creature! You can’t get worse than that.”
“And I’m the eldest son and heir to the most wealthy house in the whole of Britain. And to beat that, I’m also the bloody disappointment. I literally got an unforgivable done on me because my parents heard I wasn't in the 'family house' at Beauxbatons!” Sirius breathed deeply and kissed Remus’s hands. “If this is a competition on who has the worse life, this is going to be a long conversation, my darling.”
Remus shuddered and hugged Sirius tightly. This is not how he was expecting this to go.
“You had an unforgivable on you?” He whispered, he felt Sirius nod against his neck.
“It was cruciatos curse,“ Sirius breathed. ”I was left to die on my dads office floor but Reggie got me out. Took me to my Uncle Alphard’s apartment that he left to me and we stayed there for the
rest of the holidays. And now I’m here, with you and I feel like they can’t touch me.”
Remus kissed his head and stroked his long hair. It was always so soft and shiny. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’ll be fine, I have Reggie and James said his parents love me so I’m sure they’d let me stay over. Lily is like my sister and Mary and Marlene are bloody brilliant.” Sirius chuckled and hugged Remus harder.
“You have me too, Padfoot. Always, always.” He whispered.
Sirius pulled them apart and kissed Remus lightly with a caring smile that made Remus feel loved. Remus pulled Sirius in again and kissed him harder, pulling on the dark locks and getting a rewarding moan.
“Whoever blessed me too met such a great kisser and shagger, I better send them a fruit basket.” Sirius joked, kissing along Remus’s jaw.
“My reading smut faze has finally come in handy.” Remus muttered as Sirius bit into his neck. Sirius snickered and laughed through his nose.
“You bloody handsome nerd.”
They kissed deeper and deeper and Sirius put a hand up Remus’s night dress. He was only in his boxers underneath but Sirius had already seen everything. He felt the bandages and pulled away from the kiss to put his head under the nightdress and fucking lick them.
Remus was breathing heavily and put his head against the pillow while Sirius worshiped his new scars. Who knew that this perfect specimen would be worshipping him of all people, but he wasn’t complaining because Sirius got to his nipples and Remus had to bite into his fist to stop the moan from coming out. The blinds surrounding the bed were shut but not sound proof.
“Merlin, Sirius. You’re tryna kill me?” Remus breathed as Sirius’s head popped out from the collar of the dress. His grin was childlike and his black hair was matted on his head, his lips red and wet from kissing Remus’s body. Even wetter when Remus started kissing him again.
“Have you seen your body, Lupin? Gymnastics have been kind to you.”
Remus laughed into Sirius’s mouth and pulled him even closer; if that was possible. The dark haired boys hands were exploring and traced every scar it could feel. His hands skimmed over Remus’s hard on before gripping it, his body still in the night dress. Remus was getting sick and very hard from the foreplay so he rolled them over and Sirius gasped.
“Get out.” Remus demanded, his pupils were wide and only a slimmer of amber could be seen. Sirius breathed a yes and shimmied out of their shared dress.
“Talk to me.” He demanded again, kissing along Sirius’s face.
“Oh ummm, I first saw at the entrance and you climbed up that fucking stick with your big hands around it and I remember thinking ‘that is the hottest man to ever walk the earth.’” Sirius chuckled to himself, his hands playing with Remus’s curls.
“Ummm- are you making a hickey?”
“Talking Sirius.”
“Oh yes, then you laughed in the common room the first night and I died because you were leaning against the coach with your perfect hips and I wanted to bend you over so bad. And at the Yule Ball, you proved my theories were right because you do have perfect hips and I lo- I really liked it, so much.” Sirius moaned as Remus bit his shoulder, his hand coming to wrap around Sirius’s neck.
“I don’t fucking bend over.” Remus practically growled. He was surprised by his voice but Sirius was very much into it as he stretched his neck higher so Remus could take more of it.
“Oh Remus dear, you’re awake! You were pretty scratched up after last night. Oh Mr Black, what a pleasure! Are you friends with Mr Lupin?” Madam Pomphrey said kindly, carrying a plate of steaming dinner.
Remus took off his hand from Sirius’s neck and blushed furiously. He rolled off from atop of Sirius and tried to fix his hair, Sirius looked like he was trying to remember how to breath.
“Ye-yes, Marlene had to go and she didn’t want me to be alone.” Remus stammered a response.
“Lovely, well visiting hours are over and I wanted to keep you in for another night. Shoo, off you go Mr Black.” She hurried Sirius away who smiled and blew Remus a kiss cheekily.
Remus was blushing still and moved to lay on his stomach under the warm covers. His bed felt empty and he messed the pressure Sirius put everywhere.
“You alright Remus? Looking a bit red there.” She smirked with a chuckle. Remus covered his face and groaned.
Poppy was laughing and put his dinner on the bedside table. “Eat up when you’re ready and drink this potion. I don’t want any sneaky visitors until the morning, understood?”
Remus nodded and looked at his dinner, it was steak with potatoes tonight, one of his favourites.
“The bandages holding up I imagine?”
He nodded with a smile, “Oh yes, you did a wonderful job.”