Adjustment
Teddy hadn’t really paid much attention to who he was sitting next to when he’d taken his place at the Hufflepuff table, he’d just found an open spot and gone for it as quickly as possible, being uncomfortable with everyone’s eyes on him. When he did look to his left and right, he had been pleasantly surprised to realise that the boy on his left was one of the ones who had been lined up at the front there earlier with him. A fellow first year, and now apparently, his dorm-mate.
He had waited until the sorting was over, and everyone started digging into the feast before tentatively introducing himself to the rather skinny boy next to him, who eyed him with careful interest as he did so.
“Hi, I’m a first year too” he said, internally kicking himself for stating the blatantly obvious. “I’m Teddy” he offered. Luke raised an eyebrow sceptically, as though he thought Teddy was having him on.
“As in, bear?” Luke asked incredulously. Teddy laughed.
“As in Edward” he told him. “But no-one has ever called me that.”
“How do you get Teddy from Edward?” Luke asked, looking confused.
“I guess… Ed becomes Ted?” Teddy offered. He’d never given it that much thought himself.
“But where does the T come from?” Luke demanded, still looking bewildered. Teddy laughed again. He had never met anyone so immediately floored by his name, of all things.
“It makes no sense” Luke said decisively. “YOU make no sense” he added to Teddy. “Your hair was red on the train, wasn’t it?”
“I… um…” Teddy had spluttered in response. He had been slightly worried that people might think he was weird because of his metamorphoses, and had told himself he wasn’t going to do it in front of people, at least not at first. He had however had a crisis of confidence on the train, and decided that brown hair would allow him to slip more effectively under the radar than the flaming red Potter/Weasley hair he’d had this morning.
“Sorry, I’m being rude, aren’t I?” Luke said, not sounding particularly concerned about it. “Mum says I can’t just say whatever’s in my head. We’re working on it.”
Teddy remembered wanting to laugh, but also being slightly wary of this strange boy. He did know that he wanted to be his friend. Teddy liked strange.
“I’m a metamorphagus” Teddy told him. “It means I can change the way I look.”
Luke had taken a moment to digest this, in which Teddy had waited on tenterhooks for him to reply.
“Cool” he said eventually, and Teddy had grinned at him.
“Do you have a name then? Since you were so annoyed by mine, yours must be good” Teddy asked, testing the waters with a bit of gentle ribbing. Luke’s abrupt manner so far suggested that he would be able to take it.
“I have a normal name” Luke told him deadpan, and Teddy laughed again. “It’s Luke.”
“Nice to meet you, normal Luke” Teddy said with a nod.
“Nice to meet you too, not-Edward” Luke replied, smiling back. There had then been a slightly awkward pause, before Luke had spoken again.
“So…” Luke had leaned over to him conspiratorially, lowering his voice. “You’ll have to help me out here, because this is all new to me. I’m a muggle.”
“You mean you’re muggle-born?” Teddy corrected him, holding back a laugh.
“What?” Luke asked, looking thrown by this.
“If you’re here that must mean you’re a wizard. You’re muggle BORN” Teddy explained.
“Right, yeah, whatever” Luke replied dismissively and Teddy grinned. This was going to be fun.
“Your metamorpha-thing” Luke went on. “Is that, like, normal?”
“No” Teddy told him. “It’s really rare.”
“Right, OK… good to know” Luke muttered. “You’re not going to like, wake up tomorrow with a different face are you?” Luke asked him warily.
“I could if I wanted to” Teddy told him. “But I won’t.”
“I’d appreciate that” Luke replied. “All this is confusing enough, you know?”
“Well, I’ve lived with wizards my whole life so, you can ask me anything you want” Teddy offered kindly. Luke gave him a small smile in return.
“Thanks” he said quietly.
And thus had begun an eighteen year strong friendship. One that Teddy was seriously starting to question, as he watched Luke haphazardly throw ingredients into the large bowl in front of them, spilling paprika all over the table.
“What are you looking at me like that for?” Luke asked rather defensively, and Teddy snorted with laughter.
“Could you be making any more of a mess?” Teddy shot back at him, seizing the lime wedge that Luke was brandishing at him before he got the juice everywhere.
“This is how I cook, I thought you knew that about me” Luke replied innocently.
“Like a mad scientist?” Teddy asked, raising an eyebrow.
“With passion!” Luke declared, adding far too much chilli into the mixture, and Teddy put a hand to his forehead in frustration.
“You need to stop dating Latin men” Teddy muttered to him, as the teacher approached their workstation, and Luke cackled.
“You boys look like you’re having fun” she said, smiling warmly.
“One of us is” Teddy muttered, and Luke elbowed him in the ribs.
“We are” Luke said, smiling widely at her. “I’ve always wanted to make shakshuka.”
“I’d use a little less chilli if I were you, unless you want your head blown off” she advised him, looking amused before moving on to the next couple.
“This is every bit as much of a nightmare as I knew it would be” Teddy grumbled, while trying to dig some of the chopped chillies out of the gooey diced tomatoes in the bowl. “And she definitely thinks we’re a couple” he added, nodding towards the teacher. She could hardly be blamed for that, since every other participant in this class appeared to be here with their significant other.
“I think you should be flattered by that, personally” Luke said in a dignified manner, disregarding the fact that Teddy’s hands were in the bowl and dumping in the chopped onion.
“Have you heard yourself?” Teddy shot back, rapidly extracting his hands and wiping some of the tomato gunk on Luke’s cheek. “If either of us should be flattered by that, it’s you.”
“You’re not helping the case, bickering with me like an old married couple” Luke replied, indignantly wiping his face and scowling at Teddy, who snickered.
“You’re my oldest friend, Luke” Teddy said calmly, taking advantage of Luke’s distraction in cleaning the gunk off his face to move the bowl out of his reach. “That’s a sentence much more serious than marriage. I’ll never be shot of you, will I?”
“Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone” Luke sang in Teddy’s ear, just loud enough for the young married couple one bench over from them to hear. The wife stopped stirring the concoction in her own bowl and watched them in amusement.
“I’ll be waiting, all that’s left to do is run” Luke went on, fully aware that he had an audience and that fact only spurring him on. Teddy felt his cheeks burn as he tried his best the dig Luke in the stomach with his elbow while making it look like he wasn’t paying him any attention whatsoever. A feat rendered virtually impossible as Luke raised the volume of his voice for the next line, clutching one hand at his chest dramatically.
“I’ll be the prince and you’ll be the princess” Luke crooned, and Teddy had to put his wooden spoon down as he started laughing.
“That’s not how it goes” he protested. “YOU’RE the princess.” Luke ignored him and continued to sing.
“It’s a love story, baby just say-“ Luke cut off, pointing at Teddy with both hands and looking expectant. Now the couple on their other side were watching them too and Teddy cast an incredulous look around before looking back to Luke.
“Will you shut the fuck up” he hissed at him, and Luke laughed.
“He hates it when I serenade him in public” Luke said to the woman who had first started watching this whole spectacle, who looked slightly uncertain about being dragged into it.
“Pack that in” Teddy told him firmly, grabbing Luke by the wrist and pulling him back over to their workstation. “Here, zest this” he said, handing Luke a lime before he could get bored and start playing up again.
“God, you’re uptight today” Luke complained, although he did what Teddy had asked and started grating the zest onto a chopping board in front of them, apparently not realising that the recipe didn’t call for any lime zest to be used at any point.
“Can’t imagine why” Teddy muttered, although he did give into a smile as he bumped his hip against Luke’s. He’d sooner empty the full bowl of tomato goop onto his own head than admit it, but this was the most fun he’d had in a while. Maybe Luke was right, maybe Teddy could stand to stop taking himself so seriously once in a while.
“It feels like a perfect night” Teddy began to sing under his breath, so quietly that Luke didn’t immediately register it. “To dress up like hipsters. Make fun of our exes…” Luke realised what he was doing and turned to him with a grin on.
“Fuck, I’ve not heard that since fourth year” Luke said in amazement.
“I know, it was everywhere for that one summer and then just disappeared into the ether” Teddy mused.
“I wanted to be twenty-two so badly” Luke said wistfully, and Teddy chuckled.
“Twenty-two was a good year” he agreed. Teddy had been half way through the auror training programme at that time, still fully living the student lifestyle and partying nearly every night.
“And look at us now” Luke smirked. “Pair of sad bastards, learning how to make shakshuka in the Hackney Community Centre.”
“This was YOUR idea” Teddy laughed.
“Yeah well, I am a bit of a sad bastard these days, aren’t I?” Luke replied, his tone fairly even. Teddy laughed at that but Luke didn’t join in, and as Teddy took a sidelong glance at him he noticed a bit of a hardened look on his face that would seem to suggest he wasn’t actually joking.
“You and me both, pal” Teddy replied gently, digging Luke in the ribs with an elbow as he slid the recipe card over towards them to see what was next.
-
T: Luke is a nightmare and I regret everything.
J: Cooking class didn’t go well?
T: We actually made a pretty decent shakshuka, if I do say so myself. If you like it hotter than a thousand suns, that is.
J: Oops.
T: His fault, not mine.
J: Always passing the blame, aren’t you?
T: You’re supposed to be on my side.
T: Anything new on your end?
J: Not much. Going on our first excursion on Monday.
T: Not much he says. That’s big news, tell me more!
J: Later. About to head out for dinner.
T: Ok, have fun xxx
J: Phone call this weekend?
T: I’ll hold you to that.
J: xxx
Teddy scowled as he closed his flip phone, slipping it back into his pocket and picking up his coffee to leave. Far from making him feel like they were having more contact, these early morning back-and-forths with James were starting to make Teddy feel like he was something of an annoyance, constantly interrupting James while he was busy. The timing wasn’t ideal, over in New Zealand James would be sorting out dinner and getting on with his evening plans around this time, but there wasn’t really anything they could do about that. The only other time they could speak was when the times were flipped and James was just getting up in the morning, which didn’t usually give them a lot of time to work with either.
He tried to push it to the back of his mind as he walked to work, but he was pushing an awful lot of stuff to the back of his mind lately and it was definitely starting to pile up. Not least this whole potential criminal infiltration into the auror office scenario. As he and Harry had agreed, Teddy hadn’t breathed a word about it to anyone, and had been going about his work as normal, but he couldn’t help but feel like he was on high alert at all times inside the ministry building, keeping a watchful eye on his colleagues to see if anyone was acting out of the ordinary. For that reason, he’d declined going out for Friday drinks after work this evening, not sure he’d be able to act completely normal around his work friends at the moment. He and Luke had made plans to go for a drink instead, but in light of James blowing him off for the second time in less than a week Teddy didn’t really feel like it anymore. He pretty much just wanted to go home and sulk, but he knew that wouldn’t solve anything. He also knew that his feelings about it were entirely unjustified. James was out there experiencing a wealth of new things – he even said he hadn’t had chance to stop since he’d gotten there, so it made sense that he hadn’t really had much opportunity to miss Teddy yet. However, this was harder on Teddy, because his life was going on as normal, just with a large James-shaped hole in it.
Teddy sighed as he took the lift down into the ministry, trying to convince himself that by the end of the day he might be feeling better and have come round to the idea of a night out. At the very least he had a wealth of stuff to distract himself with between now and then. The case was going frustratingly slowly, and Teddy was feeling the pressure piling up to get it solved already, especially given the vague threat of danger hanging over him until he did. He’d been working all week on trying to find traces of dark magic being used around the times that the victims had disappeared, using the timeline that he and Nick the intern had put together right at the start of the case. He’d also been doing a lot of research on what sort of spells could have been cast using the body parts that were missing. Not altogether an easy task, given that large proportions were missing for most of them. The victim for whom only a hand was left inside the mimic – well the perp could have taken pretty much anything from them.
If there was anything to Teddy’s theory, the body parts (hearts, specifically) were likely being used to keep someone alive for an unnaturally long time. That would explain how the mimic had been around for such a long time, disappearing and reappearing at seemingly random intervals in time. The fact that there were no intact torsos and not a single heart in amongst the remains in the trunk supported this theory, but didn’t necessarily prove it. It could just be that whatever method was used to kill the people inside it did rather gruesome damage to the torso and destroyed the heart.
Of course, even if Teddy’s theory about their perpetrator seeking immortality was correct, they could also be using other parts of the bodies for more nefarious purposes. If someone was willing to carve out hearts from other human beings then it wasn’t hard to imagine that they would be involved in any number of horrible things. He’d found a couple of reports of dark spells that would certainly involve human body parts that correlated to points in the timeline, but there wasn’t enough of a pattern to corroborate anything.
Teddy went straight to his own office upon arriving at his floor. He intended to go over to the records department to do some more digging for cases of dark magic in the areas where the mimic had surfaced, but on his way there he was going to drop off some of the books from his office back at the auror library – his small office was beginning to pile up with them, so it would be good to clear the space. And in any case Teddy tried not to keep library books longer than he needed them, in case anyone else might want them. However, when he got to his desk, there was a note from Harry asking Teddy to report to him straight away. This could only mean a development in the case.
Teddy quickly made his way to Harry’s office, his brain buzzing with possibilities. Harry was still working with forensics to examine the mimic for any traces of a vanishing spell, so it must be something to do with that. Either that or the other things they had talked about. Teddy very much hoped that it wasn’t the latter.
Harry’s door was ajar when he got there, so Teddy went straight in, shooting Harry a brief ‘hi’ to alert him that he was there. Harry looked up from the book he was studying and gave him a nod.
“Close the door would you” Harry asked him, and Teddy did so, although this time Harry did not cast any enchantments to prevent them being overheard, which Teddy found a bit of a relief.
“You wanted to see me?” Teddy asked curiously, as he took a seat opposite Harry.
“We found it” Harry told him without preamble. “Traces of a vanishing spell.”
“You did?” Teddy asked, surprised. If that was the case then why was he not as cautious about speaking to Teddy as he had been last time.
“It was damaged during the dissection” Harry told him, perhaps knowing what Teddy was thinking and pre-empting him asking. “No-one can get through one way or the other.”
“That’s… a weight off my mind” Teddy said honestly, breathing out slowly and relaxing back in his chair. Truly that was excellent news, and Teddy felt a tremendous wave of relief wash over him.
“You’re telling me” Harry agreed. “We’re not out of the woods yet though, we still need to find the perp.” Teddy nodded.
“Could you tell where the vanishing spell went?” Teddy asked. He assumed the answer to that was no, as Harry would likely have led with that if they could.
“Not as of yet, but I’ve only been working on it since last night” Harry told him. “Actually, there’s someone I need to call in to take a look at it, but I thought I’d show you first.”
“Is it still in the forensics lab?” Teddy asked.
“No, I’ve moved it to another room with just about every containment spell you could imagine on it. Just in case we accidentally repair the connection while we’re poking around in it” Harry told him. Teddy nodded again. That seemed sensible, especially now that there was nothing more that forensics could do with it.
“Ok, let’s go” Teddy said eagerly, making to get up, but Harry put a hand out to indicate he should stay where he was.
“Hang on” he said calmly. “First off, I want to talk about the potential implications of this. Obviously the immediate threat is gone, but I still want you to keep this strictly between you and me. Forensics damaged the spell entirely by accident, because they didn’t know to look for it. It’s still possible that our perp was targeting the auror office specifically, and that threat is still very real.”
Teddy nodded seriously but said nothing. He had known Harry for long enough to know that he wasn’t done yet, but wanted Teddy to show he understood before going on.
“We know now that the perp was transporting the bodies somewhere specific. Whether it was purely for the pleasure of killing or for a more elaborate purpose remains to be seen, but either way I think we still ought to be working on the assumption that they wanted the trunk brought here. And I’m still inclined to think that they’re targeting me specifically.”
“This might be a personal question…” Teddy began tentatively. He was quite sure that is was a personal question, but doing his job properly dictated that he ask it. “But aside from the obvious, is there a reason you think they’d be targeting you?”
Harry didn’t answer immediately, surveying Teddy carefully for a moment, as though considering how much to tell him. Teddy was a little surprised by this. Harry had spoken with such certainty about himself being the target that Teddy half thought perhaps he had a specific suspect in mind, but he hadn’t really expected Harry to confirm it. Personal details aside, it would be pure speculation at this point. There were probably a great number of people who wanted Harry dead.
“My blood has some very unique magical properties” Harry told him seriously. “I think it would be quite desirable to anyone using human components for a spell.”
“What sort of magical properties?” Teddy asked with interest. There were a lot of fantastical rumours floating around about Harry and the magic he might possess, but that was also true of many of the key players in the war (and even of Teddy himself, what with his recessive werewolf genes) so as a general rule he disregarded anything he read in the papers.
“I’d prefer to keep that on a need-to-know basis” Harry replied, with a slight frown. “It is quite personal.”
“Right, sorry” Teddy said sheepishly. Harry’s frown vanished as he made a dismissive gesture.
“If it becomes pertinent to the case we’ll discuss it” Harry said calmly. “Have you got anything to report on your end yet?”
“Couple of incidents that fit with the timeline, but not enough to show any kind of pattern yet” Teddy relayed. “Could be purely coincidence.”
“Keep at it” Harry said with an encouraging nod, which Teddy returned.
“Right, shall we go and look at this thing then?” Harry said, getting up from his chair.
“Let’s go” Teddy agreed, following Harry back out into the corridor. Harry led the way in the general direction of the forensics lab.
“Who are you getting in to come and look at it?” Teddy asked him as they walked. “An expert?”
“In a sense” Harry replied. “I want Draco Malfoy’s opinion on it.”
“Malfoy?” Teddy repeated, greatly surprised by this. It wasn’t unlike Harry to call on people he knew from various avenues of life to help him with bits and pieces of cases here and there, but he and Draco certainly weren’t friends. Teddy couldn’t think of anyone less likely for Harry to ask for help.
“He has experience with broken vanishing cabinets” Harry replied. “Dark magic, too.” Teddy noted a particularly hardened expression on his face at that, and decided not to press the matter any further.
They walked the rest of the way in silence, bypassing the forensics labs entirely and continuing down towards a wing Teddy hadn’t been to much in the past. It was virtually empty now, but at one time had been an extension of their office, back when dark magic activity was more prevalent just after the war and there were a lot more aurors in the ministry. Nowadays it was used more for general storage than anything else. Teddy and Harry walked past a number of what probably once were private offices, but now appeared to be stacked with boxes. As they continued down the corridor, Teddy began to wonder what sort of state the mimic would be in now. Last time he had seen it in the forensics lab it had been in no less than a dozen parts, and entirely unrecognisable as a trunk.
“Is it still in pieces?” Teddy asked Harry, who appeared to have been lost in thought and looked surprised when Teddy spoke, taking a minute before answering.
“We reassembled it somewhat” Harry replied calmly. “But it’s still in pieces, yes.”
“Is there any hope of repairing it, do you think?” Teddy asked curiously.
“I’d have no idea where to even start” Harry admitted. “But Malfoy will likely know more about that than me. Let’s see what he thinks.” Teddy again wanted to ask more questions about that, but wasn’t sure he ought to.
“Can I be here, when he looks at it?” Teddy asked instead. Harry looked like he was mulling this over for a moment or two.
“I’ll have to ask him that” Harry replied, still frowning. “Me asking him in the first place is dredging up some things I’m sure we’d both rather forget.”
Teddy had no idea what to make of that, but it seemed to track with Harry’s hesitancy to expand on the matter so he let it drop and walked along in silence again. They travelled a short distance further like this, before Harry stopped in front of a door which had a number of sliding bolts, as well as chains and padlocks bolts across the front of it. These were likely more of a deterrent than providing any actual barrier to entry, which Teddy was quite sure would be provided by magical means. Sure enough, Harry raised his wand a muttered a string of incantations. Teddy felt something like a whoosh of hot air pass over him as the door popped open a small amount, and Harry pushed it open further to enter the room, holding it open for Teddy and then closing it behind both of them.
The room was small, about the same size as Teddy’s office, but there was no furniture save for a desk that stood in the middle of the floor, on top of which were the remains of the mimic. It was in three pieces, but each of those looked to be made up of several bits that had been roughly stitched together with thick twine. The lid of the trunk lay flat on the desk, the teeth around the edge pointing upwards and the fleshy roof of what had once been a mouth looking still rather slimy, reflecting light back from the single exposed bulb hanging from the ceiling. The body of the trunk was in two halves, teeth lining the rim around the top and that same fleshy surface covering the insides. There were some deep scratch marks along the inner sides of the trunk, and Teddy tried hard not to think about the mimic’s victims trying to claw themselves free.
The very bottom of the trunk looked blackened and charred, which Teddy supposed was a result of the destruction of the animation spell that had been on the trunk. As he looked at the thing he certainly understood why it taken them so long to find any traces of further magic on it. It looked exactly as one might expect a vanquished mimic to look, and even now Teddy was sceptical that there was anything more to be gained from examining it.
“What am I looking for?” Teddy asked Harry as he approached the desk to take a closer look. The mimic smelt strongly like disinfectant, which was something of a relief to be honest. He could only imagine the stench of death and decay the forensics team would have been subjected to when first taking it apart.
“Here” Harry said simply, running his fingers lightly around the edges of the burnt flesh of one of the trunk halves. Teddy followed suit, feeling nothing whatsoever at first, but as his fingertips passed over a certain spot he felt the very slightest trace of magic. It was barely there, and Teddy didn’t think he would have been able to pick up on it at all if he hadn’t known it was there, but he ran his hand back over the same spot a few times and felt the faded warmth of it, running up through his fingers with the faintest tingle.
“You feel it?” Harry asked, and Teddy nodded.
“I’d never have found it myself though” Teddy admitted, and Harry gave a shrug in return.
“I had to get someone in from experimental charms to identify it. I wouldn’t have known it was a vanishing spell” he told him.
“How could they tell?” Teddy asked in amazement, still feeling around and trying his best to detect anything more than a muted hint of magic.
“To a trained eye, different types of magic leave different traces” Harry explained. “They couldn’t tell just by feeling it like you are, they ran a bunch of tests on it.”
“Sounds like a good skill to have” Teddy said with interest. “Do they have courses on that sort of thing?”
“I’m sure they do” Harry replied calmly. “But it probably takes years to get to the level of the people in the experimental department.”
“Still, even a rudimentary knowledge would be useful, don’t you think?” Teddy put to him.
“Being able to detect just dark magic has always been enough for me” Harry shrugged. “But more knowledge can’t be a bad thing. If you want to do a course that’s fine by me. I’ll see about getting the ministry to pay for it.”
“That would be great” Teddy replied, pleased, and Harry looked at him rather curiously. “What?” Teddy asked, a little self consciously. Harry shook his head in an amused sort of way, before heading back over to the door and beckoning for Teddy to follow him.
“You’re still a junior auror, right?” Harry asked him as they exited the room together.
“Yes” Teddy replied uncertainly. Harry said nothing to this, turning his attention instead to the door and reinstating the protective enchantments. Teddy waited for him to finish before pressing him.
“Why do you ask?” Teddy asked him, as they started to make their way back towards the occupied part of the office.
“Just… that kind of initiative and enthusiasm” Harry said thoughtfully. “As well as your job performance in general. You’re overdue a promotion, I’d say. I know you don’t like me getting involved in that sort of thing, but at the very least I should be telling your line manager what a good job you’re doing with this case.”
“I-” Teddy stuttered, rather overwhelmed by this. Harry’s approval really did mean a lot to him, and he knew that Harry didn’t just throw around compliments like that unless he meant them. But it was true that Teddy would prefer that his promotion not come directly from Harry, lest anyone think he hadn’t really earned it. He was also a little taken aback that Harry thought he was doing an especially good job with this case in particular, as Teddy felt himself as though he’d been stuck in something of a rut.
“You think I’m doing a good job with the case?” Teddy asked, once his brain had processed Harry’s statement enough for him to articulate the thought. “I feel like progress has been kind of slow on this one.”
“In relative terms, you could say that” Harry countered. “But this is the most complex case I’ve seen in a long time. I think you’re working through it at as much speed as I’d expect anyone to. Including myself. In fact, you’re leaps and bounds ahead of me on theories for motive.”
“You-“ Teddy spluttered, momentarily floored again. “Well, I mean, you’ve been focused on other things” he said kindly.
“As case lead it’s my job to oversee all aspects of the case, including motive” Harry told him. “And so far I’ve not come up with anything that fits as well as yours.”
“Didn’t you say it was a stab in the dark?” Teddy argued, frowning.
“Well, it is a bit” Harry conceded. “But it’s a bloody good one, isn’t it?”
Teddy huffed a surprised laugh at that. Certainly he had thought so, but he would do, since it was his theory.
“I was thinking I’d have good grounds to ask for a promotion once we solve this case” Teddy admitted to Harry as they walked. “If it goes well, of course.”
“Even if it doesn’t” Harry replied, and Teddy had to work hard to suppress his smile and keep his cool.
-
T: Harry reckons I’m due a promotion.
J: The case going well?
T: Some progress, but it was his breakthrough not mine.
T: He just thinks I’m doing a good job in general, apparently.
J: ‘Apparently’
J: For someone who thinks he’s smarter than anyone else on the planet, it’s surprisingly hard to get you to take a compliment you know.
T: Don’t want to be too smug about it.
J: I’ve never known you to be anything but smug about your job, but OK.
T: When are we having this phone call? If I’m going to take shit from you it might as well be in real time.
J: Shit, I forgot, sorry.
J: Got a pretty busy weekend actually. Can we do Monday?
T: Sure
J: Sorry honey. Love you xxxxx
T: x
-
Teddy’s bad mood lasted pretty much the whole weekend. Friday drinks with Luke had been a somewhat subdued affair - with neither of them feeling much up to going out they had had a few beers at Luke’s flat instead. Being blown off by James yet again was infuriating, to say the least, and Teddy didn’t really have any outlet for it at all. He couldn’t vent to Luke about it, because Luke had enough of his own shit going on right now. He had seemed alright when Teddy had been over there, but him not wanting to go out at all was pretty much unprecedented, and certainly pointed to a problem. Teddy wasn’t sure whether he ought to be pressing him on that or not, and decided not to for now. He would have liked to get James’s thoughts on it actually, but didn’t want to bother him with any further texts. And if Teddy was really honest about it he was in a bit of a sulk with James in general, and didn’t really want to be going to him for advice right now. Not when James seemed to be making virtually no effort whatsoever to keep in regular contact.
Teddy had to keep reminding himself that it had only been a week, that James was starting a whole new life over there, and that perhaps it was unreasonable for him to expect James to drop everything every time Teddy wanted attention. But the petulant part of his brain kept arguing back that James knew full well about how hesitant Teddy had been about this whole thing and part of the agreement they had made was that they would keep regular contact while James was over there. It had only been a week, so maybe it was too soon to react, they were both still adjusting to being apart. But the fact that it had only been a week and Teddy was already feeling so abandoned didn’t bode well at all for the next six months.
In fact, Teddy had brooded so much on this thought for the entire weekend, that when James did call him on Monday morning he had half a mind not to answer it at all. He quickly got over himself and realised that this was ridiculous, but when he did answer, it was with a rather moody “hello.”
“Hey Ted” James said softly on the other end, apparently not picking up on his tone at all. Teddy’s resolve did wobble a little bit at hearing his voice, but he hastily reminded himself that he was annoyed, picking up his cardboard coffee cup and making his way out into the street. There was a small park over the road which Teddy intended to wander around whilst on the phone, not really wanting everyone in the coffee shop to overhear his conversation.
“Busy weekend, was it?” Teddy asked, his voice rather clipped.
“I’m really sorry, Teddy” James replied without hesitation, in that same soft tone. Teddy felt his resolve melt again and frowned, sighing at himself for being so weak.
“I mean it, I wasn’t trying to ditch you” James went on earnestly. “I had a class on Saturday for this medical training I’m doing. And then Mohamed wanted to go on a hike on Sunday, and everyone else was going and I thought I’d come off as rude if I didn’t go as well, because it was like a team-building thing.”
“You didn’t have ten minutes in there for a phone call?” Teddy asked him. His voice was no longer cold and he was starting to feel like he was being childish for pressing this, but some part of him was refusing to back down.
“Not at a time that would have been convenient for you” James replied, although he sounded a little uncertain about it.
“So what about a time that would have been inconvenient for me?” Teddy countered, scowling. “You can text me anytime you know, and I’ll just pick it up whenever.”
“I don’t…” James sounded like he was starting to get quite stressed about this conversation, which Teddy felt equal amounts guilty and vindicated about. “I didn’t really think about that. I wanted to talk to you.”
Not enough, clearly – Teddy wanted to say, but he held himself back. Getting aggressive wasn’t going to help anything. He sighed, stopping his pacing to lean against a tree.
“I know it’s only been a week” Teddy said, working hard to keep his tone even. “But this is longest I’ve gone without seeing you since we moved in together. And I know you’re busy doing loads of stuff over there, but you have to bear in mind James that I’m not. I’m sat around waiting for you to fucking call me.”
There was a pause where James seemed to be taking this in. When he spoke again, it was with the same soft voice he’d been using at the start of the phone call.
“I’m sorry Teddy” he really did sound like he meant it, and Teddy felt a bit of guilt dig at him. He started walking again, frowning as he stared at the ground in front of him.
“Am I being a dick?” Teddy asked bluntly. “Because please, tell me if I’m being unreasonable right now.”
“You’re not” James replied immediately. “I’m the one being a dick.”
“I wouldn’t put it that strongly” Teddy said, his frown softening. “I just… you see where I’m coming from, right?”
“I do” James replied simply. “I’ll do better, I promise.”
Teddy didn’t really know what to say to that. He was starting to feel incredibly guilty about giving him such a hard time about this, especially since James was so genuinely apologetic. But there was some part of him that still felt it had needed to be said. But he also felt like he was ruining this time they had together by harping on about it, so he decided to let it drop for now.
“I don’t think Luke is doing too well” Teddy offered as a change of subject. “He’s pretending he’s alright, but I can kind of tell he isn’t. And I don’t really know what to do about it.”
“What is it that makes you think he’s not alright?” James asked, sounding concerned.
“The look on his face when he thinks I can’t see him” Teddy replied grimly. “And just his behaviour in general. It’s hard to explain. He seemed like his old self when we did that cooking class, but he was the complete opposite of that energy on Friday. Didn’t want to go out. I dunno, I’m never quite sure what I’m going to get when I see him.”
“Have you talked to him about it?” James asked.
“No” Teddy told him. “Don’t know if I should. If he’s hiding it he obviously doesn’t want to talk about it. I don’t know if I should make him.”
“I don’t either” James replied a little helplessly. “You’ve known him longer than I have. Have you ever seen him like this before?”
Teddy thought about that for a minute and he realised that he had.
“Once” he replied simply.
It was late on in their seventh year at school. Luke had started dating a guy from their year in Gryffindor at the start of the year and as a result he and Teddy had hung around somewhat less this year, Teddy spending a lot of his time instead with James. It had been a bit of a weird year for Teddy, reliving his younger teenage years doing stupid pranks with James, which seemed a fitting way to say goodbye to Hogwarts in some ways. In bizarre contrast to this he was receiving a number of academic accolades, not least being made head boy (something that Headmistress McGonagall seemed to be regretting, giving how often Teddy was landing himself in detention this year). He was working towards his NEWTS, which he was expecting to sail through with top grades, but still unsure where he was going next. Harry was trying to tempt him into the auror programme, but to Teddy that felt something like a trap. Something everyone had always expected him to do, so much so that he almost felt he had no choice in the matter, and wanted to rebel against in principle. Maybe that was why he was indulging himself in these childish antics with James, because he so badly didn’t want to be forced into adulthood. But maybe it wasn’t really as deep as that. maybe he just liked hanging out with James because it was fun.
Luke had been around, but Teddy doubted he would have really seen him at all if they weren’t still sharing a dorm and a few classes. They had both spent their summers clubbing and partying ever since they turned sixteen, and Teddy had been around the block a little bit already. Luke was less promiscuous, or more picky at the very least, so this relationship represented a fairly significant formative experience for him. As far as Teddy knew, this guy was the second person Luke had ever slept with, and he was the first person ever in Luke’s life to earn the label of boyfriend. Teddy was quite sure that this was Luke’s first love, not only because Luke had told him so, but also because of the way Luke looked when they were together, or when he was talking about him. Teddy had never felt for anyone what Luke seemed to be feeling, but he wasn’t jealous. He was a little scared by it if anything. Another person having so much control over you seemed mildly terrifying. But Luke was happier than Teddy had even seen him, and so Teddy was happy for him.
One night he didn’t come back to the dorm. That in itself wasn’t unusual, Luke and his boyfriend stayed the night in each other’s beds all the time. What was unusual was that Luke didn’t come back in the morning, and he wasn’t in advanced charms class either. Teddy asked all of their mutual friends if any of them knew where Luke was, but no-one seemed to have seen him. Luke skiving off class wasn’t unheard of, so Teddy put the matter out of his mind. He figured Luke and his boyfriend were probably off doing something together, and Teddy would hear about it whenever Luke surfaced again. He made it through the entire day of classes without giving the matter any further thought, but Teddy knew something was wrong when he saw Luke’s boyfriend over at the Gryffindor table at dinner sitting with someone else, with Luke nowhere to be seen. Again, not so unusual, had it not been for Luke’s disappearance, and the fact that Luke’s boyfriend and this other guy were leaning in awfully close while they whispered to each other. Teddy watched them suspiciously while he ate his food for a few minutes, until their fingers brushed together on the table and one of them turned to shoot a coy smile to other. That’s when Teddy knew exactly what had happened.
He searched the entire castle for Luke with no luck. They had been friends for seven years and Teddy had thought he knew all of the spots where Luke was most likely to be hiding out, but apparently they had drifted apart more this past year than he realised, because he checked every single one of them and found nothing. He even went to places that it would be completely stupid for Luke to be, like the Gryffindor common room and the library. He eventually went back to the dorm, half thinking about looking for clues in Luke’s stuff as to where he might be, as a last resort before telling one of the teachers that he was missing.
When he entered the dorm it seemed to be empty, but as Teddy crossed the room he heard a muffled sound come from one of the wardrobes. Momentarily distracted, and vaguely wondering if James had pranked him by putting something in there, Teddy walked over to it and warily opened the door a crack. When he peered inside he saw Luke, sat with his knees tucked into his chest, his eyes red and swollen, looking completely hopeless. He blinked confusedly up at Teddy, squinting in the light as Teddy opened the door wider.
Luke made no move from his position, looking away from Teddy and down at his knees, which both of his arms were wrapped tightly around. Teddy said nothing as he sank down to a crouched position so their faces were roughly level.
“You been here all day?” Teddy asked gently. Luke nodded without looking at him. When he spoke his voice was tight and constricted.
“Since everyone left for class.”
“You didn’t want to see anyone?” Teddy asked. Luke shook his head roughly.
“Do you want me to leave you alone?” Teddy asked. Luke shook his head again, and tears started to fall down his face. Teddy shifted to a kneeling position so that he could lean into the wardrobe to scoop Luke up in a hug that he looked like he desperately needed.
Teddy wasn’t sure how long they stayed there like that. In his memory it might well have been hours, but who knows what it was in reality. They didn’t talk about what had happened. They didn’t need to, both of them knew what had happened. Teddy just held Luke while he wept. While his heart broke. And Teddy knew that this was his job, until Luke was feeling better. To just be here.
“What did you do?” James asked.
“I don’t know, really” Teddy frowned pensively. “I was just there for him I suppose. Tried to make him laugh when he was down. Let him cry when he needed it.”
“I guess that’s all we can do now then” James replied. ”I should call him” he added after a pause.
“Yeah, he’d like to hear from you” Teddy agreed.
“What was it?” James asked. “That made him like this last time?”
“First time he had his heart broken” Teddy replied with a grim smile. It was long ago enough that the break up itself seemed insignificant now, but there was nothing trivial about how much it had hurt Luke at the time.
“Oof” James replied, sounding wounded, and Teddy huffed a small laugh.
“They were together for nearly a whole school year. Which felt like a lifetime when we were eighteen” Teddy told him. “He was in bits.”
“What happened?” James asked curiously, and Teddy laughed again, at James clamouring for decades old gossip.
“The boyfriend cheated, and then left him for the other guy” he relayed.
“Ouch” James replied.
“Yup” Teddy agreed.
“Shit, do you think that’s why he has such trouble committing now?” James asked with interest, and Teddy made a dismissive noise, but then actually stopped to think about it. Luke’s lasting relationships had been few and far between.
“Never thought about it, really” Teddy said honestly. “Maybe.”
“Fuck…” James replied. “Do we need to go and kick this guy’s ass?”
Teddy laughed again.
“I think the statute of limitations has run out on that one. It was-“ he took a moment to do the maths in his head. “Twelve years ago.”
“Why didn’t you kick his ass back then?” James demanded.
“Luke wouldn’t let me” Teddy told him, and James laughed.
“You should have done it anyway” he replied flippantly.
“Thought did cross my mind” Teddy admitted.
“I’d have done it, if you’d told me” James offered, and Teddy laughed.
“You were eleven” he reminded him.
“Pssh, details” James countered and Teddy smiled fondly.
“Well, it was a long time ago. I don’t think it matters anymore” Teddy shrugged.
“Sounds like it might matter a bit” James argued.
“Well, I don’t think now’s the right time to bring it up with him, do you?” Teddy put to him, and James made a noise of agreement.
“So go on, tell me more about this cooking class then” James said, and Teddy could hear the grin on his face. “I want details.”