The more selfish part of Regulus had wished that he had told someone about what he was going to do. The more selfish part of him had wanted to go running back into Sirius’ arms, to tell him of all the horrible things he had seen and done and Sirius forgiving him. Stroking his hair like when they were younger, whispering how things would be ok and that they would get through it together.
He hadn’t told anyone, however. Sirius wouldn’t have even looked his way and Regulus didn’t have any real friends that would’ve understood or supported what he was about to do.
But, it only really hit him once he had done the blood sacrifice. The quietness of the cave was eerie and neither he nor Kreature dared to speak. Both their breaths seemed to echo loudly and bounce off the walls of the cave.
He sent a simple ball of light into the middle of the cave and tried to calm his heart beating erratically against his ribcage. It was much vaster than he had imagined.
Kreacher silently summoned a chain from the depths of the water that calmly lapped at their feet, drawing out a small boat that they both climbed into carefully.
Regulus continued to go through his plan in his mind; go to the basin, drink the potion, grab the locket, and no matter what, make Kreacher leave with the locket but not necessarily with Regulus. The boat gently stopped at the base of another small island, this one with the pool Kreature had described to him previously.
Careful to not touch the water, he climbed out of the boat and came to a stop in front of the basin with Kreacher close to his heels. The dark magic that he had previously tried to ignore was nearly suffocating him now, leaving a bad taste in his mouth and a sense of dread in his stomach.
Regulus turned around to face Kreacher, crouching down to his level.
“Kreacher, I need you to remember what I told you earlier. Once I drink this potion, I am sure much like you I won’t quite be myself and I need you to promise me that no matter what you will leave with the locket and destroy it. I may not be able to join you, but I need you to do as I say.” His voice was hushed and urgent.
“Of course, Master Regulus. Kreacher will do as you wish.” The elf bowed deeply in respect despite the fact he had a wobble in his voice. Regulus’ eyes gained a sudden sting behind them. He had never been very good with emotions.
After all, it was hard to show something you had barely ever received.
“And Kreacher, I just want you to know that I am very thankful for you. You have served me since I was a child and I appreciate all you have done over the years. I-“ Regulus choked on his tongue and stopped, coughing and straightening back up to stare at the potion and shell he had to use to drink it with.
He filled the shell up and looked to the ceiling, closing his eyes, and willed himself not to cry. The end was just within reach.
The first sip of the potion was unbearable.
Visions flashed across his mind, his insides set alight by a never-ending, invisible fire.
Memories replayed from his life; His mother slapping him at age 5 for crying.
His mother refusing to hold him when he was sick.
Sirius forgetting to send his letters his first year at Hogwarts.
The first time he felt the Cruciatus curse.
Sirius’ look of disappointment after Regulus had been sorted.
Sirius yelling. Saying how Regulus was and will never be his brother.
Getting The Mark.
Sirius leaving and forgetting about Regulus.
Pain. Never-ending pain rushed to all corners of his body.
Regulus snapped out of his trance with a shaky gasp and a small, wrinkly hand being held to his forehead.
He was lying on the floor of the island uncomfortably, rocks sticking into his back.
The fog in his mind hadn’t fully cleared and his limbs felt as if they had been cut off and stitched back onto his body the wrong way around.
Regulus swallowed roughly, throat feeling like sandpaper scratching against it, and suddenly all he could think about was water. Water to quench his desperate thirst.
He had to have water. He needed to drink water or else he might die.
He could vaguely feel Kreacher’s small body lift Regulus’ up and try and slowly move him back towards the boat.
The water called out to him. It lured him towards it with whispers. Whispers of a better life. Whispers of ending the ache in his bones. He needed to drink water in order for his searing pain to dissipate.
The lake that surrounded them moved quicker. It lapped more violently at the base of the rocky island and thrummed with the energy of thousands. Regulus suffocated on his overwhelming need to get to it.
His body moved of its own accord, scrambled desperately to reach it.
Hundreds of hands had wrapped around his body before he could do anything about it.
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The more childish part of Regulus had wished that had he made it out of this war alive, he would somehow rekindle his severed relationship with Sirius. Become brothers once more. Maybe Regulus would live with someone he could eventually marry out of love. Have his long-awaited happy ending and live in the countryside, only a Floo away from Sirius, just as they had wanted when they had been children.
But, Regulus hadn’t been a child for a long time. And he had never really believed in happy endings, anyway.
Because Regulus had realised from the day Sirius had left him alone with their parents, that things would never be the same. Hence the reason that he had gone along with his mothers and fathers wishes. Gone through with them to find some sort of valuable information that could be used against his parents and those else who had been marked, in order to make Regulus be trusted once more. Make Sirius proud of him once more. Make his brother love him, once more.
As Regulus drifted in the murky lake, water slowly filling his lungs with each painful breath, he could only hope his efforts weren’t in vain.