There was a hoard of students walking up and down the steps between classes. Lily tried her best not to be caught in the waves, and just sullenly followed the person in front of her. She turned the corner and began weaving between the small thirds years who were heading toward mythology.
“LILY!” A voice was calling her name and she turned to look. Dorcus’ wild curly hair was bouncing as she skipped toward his friend, her eyes alight with mischief, and maybe a tad bit of worry. Lily knew she must have a juicy story to tell.
“Have you heard?” her bubbly friend asked, practically bursting with whatever news she had.
“Obviously not, Dor, or you wouldn’t be running here to tell me.” Dorcus made a face at Lily, but couldn’t stay annoyed for long.
“I just heard it from one of the medical staff. Apparently, early this morning, two six years got admitted into the hospital wing. Guess who one of them was?” Lily stared at her, her mind quickly going through all of the possibilities.
“It was Potter,” Dorcus said, milking the moment for everything she was worth. She watched in satisfaction as her friend’s eyes grew wide. “Yeah, I know right? He showed up a bloody mess outside the hospital wing doors. Carried by, get this, Severus Snape. They were both in pretty bad shape.”
“Is Potter okay?” Lily demanded, ignoring the obvious lurch in her heart at the mention of Severus, her previous best friend. Dorcus shrugged.
“I don’t think he’s conscious yet. Snape has a broken arm, but from what I heard, Potter is in pretty bad shape.”
That was all Lily needed to hear. She said a quick thank you to Dorcus before turning back to where she had just come and running. She bobbed around other students who were hurrying, as they were going to be late for their respective classes. Lily didn’t care. All she could think was getting to the hospital wing as quickly as possible. A few people grumbled or exclaimed at her abrasive behavior. She wasn’t listening, she just wanted to see James.
After running hard down different corridors, she found herself gasping for breath outside of the hospital wing doors. Taking a minute to compose herself, she wondered what she would find inside. She walked into the room. The stretchers lined each side of the wall, brown curtains gathered around each bed. On the right side of the room, a few beds in was Severus. His face was scratched and his left arm was heavily bandaged. He looked up at her entrance, his eyes widening at the sight of her.
The past between the two old friends was murky. After the argument they had had in front of many of their classmates last year, Lily hadn’t spoken another word to him. She wished she could forgive him, but something was holding her back. It hurt to look at him. Their eyes met and he looked like he was about to call out to her. She shook her head at him and looked away. Moving forward, she saw, on the opposite side of the room was James. His face was heavily scratched and he had a thick bandage around his head. His leg was elevated, also wrapped. Lily felt tears prick her eyes at the sight of him. James, her James, that was usually so full of life, of laughter, was lying in a hospital bed unconscious. Severely hurt. She could barely bring herself to look at him.
In her head, she was able to discern what day it was, and what night it had been when James had gotten hurt. The full moon. The boys had left early that night in order to get far enough into the woods before Remus changed. Lily had waved them out of the common room, laughing at the fact that they had less time to work on an essay for their History of Magic class. They had exchanged jokes and light-hearted comments before the four boys had disappeared in the dark of the night.
Now, here they were. James was unconscious in a hospital bed and there really was only one explanation for it. Lily looked down at the boy she was slowly falling for more and more. She couldn’t imagine what had happened, but if she had to take a guess, James had shifted back to his human form in front of Remus, which had resulted in a mauling.
She sighed in worry, rubbing her forehead as she considered what to do. She needed to find Sirius and Peter to get the full story, but mostly, she needed to find Remus. He was probably beating himself up over whatever had happened. Almost like she had summoned him with her mind, she heard a noise come from outside. She looked up and out the window and saw him hunched over the railing. She glanced down at James, reassured that he was sleeping, and headed out into the cold sunshine.
“Remus?” she said softly, gently placing a hand on his back. He flinched away from her touch and turned. She didn’t let this deter her though and grabbed his arm, tugging him toward her. When she pulled him around to face her, she sucked in a breath. His face was heavily scraped and his eyes were bloodshot. She knew he must have been crying. Lily took a deep breath, preparing herself to hear the story of what had happened. Wrapping her hands around her dear friend’s cold fingers, she looked up at Remus.
“Remus, are you alright?” he nodded mutely. “Alright. Good. So what happened?”
He let out a shaky breath, his eyes shifting to the large expanse of the Black Lake, trying to prepare himself. “It was just a normal trip, you know? We were out far enough, nothing extraordinary was going on until I got a whiff of a human.”
“Severus?”
He nodded. “He must have followed us out of the castle without us knowing. By the time the other three had realized what had happened, it was too late. I was already on the hunt. Snape wouldn’t have made it out of the woods alive. I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself.” Lily nodded, biting her lip to stop herself from asking unnecessary questions. She knew Severus. When he had a hunch, he would try to get to the answers, no matter what it cost him. She was sure he had grown suspicious of what the Marauders had been doing each month. No one had given him any answers, so he decided to supply them for himself.
“James knows how I get as a wolf. I’m blinded by my senses, and I have no control. Humans have the most distinct smell I can recognize, but I just attack, I don’t try to identify.”
“Remus, you have no control of yourself. I get it. I’m not blaming you. I just want to know what happened.”
Remus tried to calm his breathing and shut his eyes tightly. “I’m not entirely sure what happened. One minute, the stag, James, was beside me. And then the next moment, he was gone. And there were two human scents. James must have shifted back to save Severus. I couldn’t help it, I just…” He stopped, water filling his eyes and a sob escaping his mouth. “I just lunged.”
“Oh Remus,” Lily whispered, trying to calm her friend. Tears were falling from his eyes in earnest and he was trembling. Lily lifted her arms and wrapped them around his lean frame. He collapsed into her and she lowered the both of them to the floor. Remus was shaking and sobbing heavily, unable to regain his breath for a few minutes, clinging tightly to Lily. Lily just held him, quietly rocking him back and forth comfortingly, trying to keep the tears from falling from her own eyes.
“I didn’t mean to. I didn’t. Hurting James is the last thing I would ever do. Not James.”
Lily shushed him. “I know, Remus. James knows. He won’t be angry at you. He understands. He just did it to save Severus. Severus shouldn’t have been in those woods, there was nothing you could have done to stop yourself. James acted fast to save him. He knew if you destroyed Severus, you would never have forgiven yourself. He did what he knew he had to, to save Severus and to save you. He loves you, Remus, he would do anything for you. Even this. He’ll be okay. He will be. You’ll see. Now, come on, he wouldn’t want you blubbering on the floor like this.”
Remus sucked in a deep breath and took his head off her shoulder. He tried to even his breathing, which seemed to help him a bit. Once he felt like he was more in control of his emotions, he wiped his eyes and tried to smile at Lily.
“You’re right. Sorry, Evans. I just…. I really really can’t lose him.”
She nodded in understanding. “I know, Remus. Me either. But he’s going to be fine, okay? Neither of us are going to lose him. Not if Madam Pomfrey has anything to say about it.” They both let out tired laughs and loose smiles. Remus sunk back against the railing and sighed.
“There are a lot of things about myself that I hate, Lily. But being able to hurt my friends without any choice is definitely at the top of the list.”
Lily’s laugh grew strained. “Well, there are a lot of things to love about you, Remus Lupin. And I’m not the only one who thinks that.” The door to the hospital wing banged open and Lily saw a head of dark black hair rush in. “Speak of the devil,” she whispered quietly.
“Moony? Moony?”
“Back here,” Lily called. Sirius rounded the corner and his eyes filled with relief at the sight of Remus sitting on the ground. It was like he didn’t even see Lily, his eyes were only for the tall boy. Lily stood and watched as Sirius knelt in front of Remus, taking his face between his hands. “Merlin’s beard, Remus. We’ve been looking for you for hours. Where the hell have you been?” Remus shut his eyes, looking as if he was simply reveling in the feeling of Sirius’ hands on his skin.
“I needed time to think. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you.” Sirius let out an exasperated sigh, and to Lily’s surprise, and apparently Remus’ as well, he leaned forward and pressed his lips firmly against his friend’s.
“Don’t you ever do that to me again,” Sirius growled, staring into Remus’s eyes. Remus could only nod, a smile slipping over his lips. Sirius ignored this and wrapped the gangly boy in his arms. Remus followed suit.
Lily couldn’t help but smile at the two of them. She had been suspicious of growing feelings between the friends for some time and now she had definitive proof. Wanting to give the boys their space, she walked back into the hospital wing and took a seat next to James. He was still unconscious, but his face was smooth, peaceful, and she knew he would have chosen to make the same decision to help Remus over and over again, even knowing that he would get hurt like this.
“He’s not all that he’s cracked up to be, you know.” A sallow voice sounded from across the way. Lily darted her eyes to the source of the voice, meeting the dark eyes of her former best friend. Severus. She hadn’t really spoken more than five words to him in over a year. “Everyone around here worships him, but he’s quite the rule breaker. I saw him, with my own eyes, shifting from a deer into a man. Now, if I remember rightly, spells like that are illegal for children. Imagine the shock and horror that would occur if someone in authority was to find out.”
Lily glowered at him, the blood rushing to her face as anger overtook her. He ignored the sour expression. “Don’t even get me started on Lupin. Imagine the outcry if the parents knew that a werewolf was attending school alongside their innocent children. There would be a riot right here in Hogwarts.”
“Snape.” Lily’s voice echoed around the room, effectively shutting him up. She never called him by his last name, so it got his attention. “I know you feel like you have some leverage over James at the moment, but may I remind you that the only reason you are alive right now is because of what he did. He is in this hospital bed because you couldn’t keep to yourself and leave them be. I would reconsider tattling on the person who saved your life when I could just as easily tell Professor Dumbledore that a certain Slytherin boy is carrying a dark mark on his arm. I doubt many parents would feel safe sending their children to school with a follower of Voldemort. So, I would perhaps keep your sniveling remarks to yourself.”
Severus looked at her, wide-eyed, as she went off on him. He shrunk into his bed at her words and said nothing else. It pained Lily to be so cruel, but he was being awful to her friends. She couldn’t let that happen.
Lily stayed in the hospital wing. Hours went by. Severus was released and given a salve for his cuts. Remus and Sirius had left, hand in hand, promising to check in after dinner. They had had a long two days and needed some nourishment. But Lily stayed. The sun set slowly behind the window, the sound of crickets filling the air. And still, she did not move. Her eyes remained fixed on James, the slow movement of his chest, the way his eyes moved from beneath their lids, his hands giving the occasional twitch. Time didn’t matter, she wanted to be there when he woke up. She watched a nurse check his cuts and his wrappings. She was reassured by the nurse that everything was healing up nicely. His leg would be mended in a day or two and his cuts would fade soon as well. Lily thanked her but did not move.
Marlene and Dorcus came to visit, bringing homework and a book to keep her occupied. Lily was grateful for the gifts but made no promise as to when she would return to the common room. “I just want to make sure someone is here when he wakes up.” Her friends had shrugged and rolled their eyes but didn’t argue. Peter, Remus, and Sirius all came to visit, though they saw no reason to stay. Lily was adamant about remaining in the hospital wing until James woke up. They brought her food and left her alone.
It must have been 8 o’clock in the evening. Lily had been in the hospital wing for seven hours and had lost herself in a book, occasionally glancing up to see if there were any changes in James' condition. When he opened his eyes, he found her beside him, soaking in the text of a mythical creatures novel. He let out an amused breath that caught her attention and she looked up and met his eyes.
She couldn’t help it. A smile broke out across her face seeing that he was awake. His eyes roamed over her face, taking in her disheveled hair, the red mark on her cheek that was an echo of a resting hand that had been there a few minutes before, the large book open on her lap. He knew then that she had been by his side for quite a while.
Lily was doing the same to him. Her eyes followed the lengths of his body, making sure that every part of him was intact. When she was visibly pleased with what she saw, she slid her eyes back up to his.
“Hello there,” he whispered, his normally smooth voice punctured in raspiness. She handed him the cup of water on his bedside and he smiled gratefully. She took the cup back after he drank and then handed him his glasses. He sent her a grateful smile as he slid them onto his face.
“How are you feeling?”
He shrugged. “A bit like hell warmed over, but I believe that is to be expected.”
Lily couldn’t help but grin. “Well, you look a right bloody disaster.” An eye roll was his reply to that.
He looked around himself, noticing the nearly empty room. Lily watched his eyes as he seemed to piece together what had happened. With a swift turn of his head, he turned back to her. “Severus? Is he alright?”
A laugh bubbled up inside her. James Potter was an anomaly that surprised her at every turn. Of all things he could think of, an inquiry as to the wellbeing of Severus Snape was the last thing she expected.
“He’s fine,” she reassured him. “He had a few scrapes and a broken arm, but the nurses discharged him a few hours ago. He’ll be fine soon enough. He got off easy if you ask me. Following a werewolf out into the woods like it’s any of his business.”
James was laughing at this before giving a slight wince. “I believe my ribs are broken.”
She nodded in response. “Three, to be exact. But they’re all mending nicely, as is your leg and the crack in your sternum. You have a concussion as well, I think. You’ve made a right mess of yourself, Potter, that’s for sure.”
“I believe in dedication if you must know. Go big or go home, as they say.” They both let out a slight laugh before a more serious tone settled over them. Lily couldn’t help but constantly roam her eyes over his body as if reassuring herself that he really was there, really awake, and really on the mend. Understanding was in his eyes and he whispered, “I’m alright, Lily.”
She nodded. “I know. You gave me a scare, James. A really bad one.”
There was a look of sheepishness on his face. “I know. It was an idiotic idea, but I didn’t have much choice. Remus had shifted hours before, he would have absolutely no control over anything. When I saw Severus and realized he had followed us, I knew there was nothing I could do for him as a deer. I made a quick decision, knowing it would have severe consequences. I think a few broken ribs, a broken leg, and a massive headache would qualify as that.”
With a shake of her head, Lily firmly shut her book and placed it gently on the floor. With deft movements, she pulled her chair closer and enveloped James’ hand in her own. His face grew red at the physical contact and he looked up at her in bewilderment.
“I know that you didn’t have to save him, James,” Lily said softly, nearly a whisper. “He was being a daft idiot and shouldn’t have been out there. He honestly deserves whatever happened to him. But you saved him. I don’t know why you did, but I’m glad you did. And I’m grateful. Really really grateful. I don’t particularly care for Severus at the moment, and I know you never have, but you still put your life in danger for him. You’re amazing, James.”
James was glowing at the praise, his eyes warm and his smile bright. He was staring up at her in adoration, and she really didn’t mind it.
“I couldn’t just let someone die, git or not. Remus never would have been able to live with himself if he had killed someone. I did it for him more than I did it for Severus.”
Lily shrugged. “But you did it nonetheless.”
He was smiling. “Yeah.” Then as if he had some feeling of resolve settle in him, he looked back up at her. “I did it for you too, you know.” Lily caught her breath. A blush of embarrassment painted his cheeks, but he persevered, clutching her hand tightly, not about to let it go. “I know you and Snivellus haven’t always gotten along, especially after what happened last year, but I also know you would have had a difficult time dealing with it if he had died. I didn’t want that, so I kind of acted without thinking. Next thing you know, I was a human again, throwing Snivellus to the ground and trying to distract Remus as best as I could. It was no easy task. Once that wolf gets a sniff of anything remotely human, it’s hard pulling his attention away.”
Lily was smiling, hardly listening to a word James said. All she could hear, repeating over and over in her mind were his words “I did it for you.” She couldn’t deny it anymore. She had a crush on James Potter and she doubted that it was going away any time soon. Her heart stuttered and her stomach filled with butterflies at the thought, but she didn’t stop smiling.
After a few heated seconds of the two simply staring at each other, James cleared his throat. “So, how long have you been here, Evans?”
She shrugged. “Not long. I just thought I would pop in for a quick visit.” He squinted at her, not really believing her story. But as he opened his mouth to contradict her, the door opened and revealed his three best friends. Their faces lit up at the sight of his opened eyes and they rushed towards him.
“Prongs!” Sirius exclaimed, practically hurling himself onto the bed and James’ stomach. James groaned at his weight, but couldn’t help but laugh at his best friend’s antics.
“It’s good to see you awake, James,” Peter chirped. “We were beginning to worry you’d be out forever. Evans here was adamant that she stayed with you till you woke up. She’s been here for hours.” Lily let out an embarrassed groan and James looked over at her victoriously with a smug glint in his eyes.
“Oh really,” he laughed.
She shook her head in annoyance and wouldn’t meet his eyes. Seeing that she would admit to nothing, James let out a laugh and looked back over at his friends. Remus’ face was full of regret and he opened his mouth, presumably to apologize, but James simply held out his hand. Remus took it with a sad smile.
“I’m glad you’re alright, Moony.”
Remus chuckled. “Same goes for you, Prongs.”
James looked around at his friends and experienced an emotion quite close to contentment and smiled. “Yeah,” He said. “I think I’m gonna be alright.”