How Do I Say It?

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Other
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How Do I Say It?
Summary
TW: panic attacks and rape mentionsA disgusting professor. A scared young girl. A protective head of house. What could possibly go wrong?
Note
hey besties get ready for a not so fun time, and if u intend on judging me, please dont cuz this is kind of theraputic for me, for, reasons. also, ik what the chapter title says, and what the warning is, but the scene of what happens isn't actually in this chapter, just up until and the aftermath. why you ask? cuz that's icky and i don't wanna write about that part, im not that weird. anyways, enjoy!
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The Day After

Quinn Dalton woke up from a nightmare. She was breathing heavily. She threw on her robes, and looked out the window. Oh. It's still dark. Alright, do I have any homework to do? No. Alright, then what do I do? Do I have any busywork at all? I really don't wanna think right now. Maybe I could just go back to sleep? No, I already have my robes on, there isn't really any point in going back to bed. There has to be something I'm forgetting! She looked around her room, until her eyes landed on something. Oh, of course! I can write in my diary! That's perfect! Quinn ran over and grabbed her diary and a quill and some pretty purple ink. She dipped her pen into the ink and giggled. She adored the color. She had saved up for a year to be able to afford it, and only used it in her diary. Then she began to write.

Dear Diary,

Hi there! I know I just wrote in you yesterday, but I wanted to do it again, you probably know why... But today isn't bad so far! I mean it's only 5:00, and I just woke up from a nightmare, but it's not the worst. Yesterday was worse. But you already know that. I just I'm so nervous to go back to class. Will he say something about it? Try to keep me after class again? I really hope not. That would be... really bad. I'm just... conflicted I guess. I feel like I should tell someone, but he told me that if anyone found out then they wouldn't believe me but would hate me, and I can't stand it when people hate me! But even still, maybe I should tell someone. If I tell someone I can trust, then maybe they'll believe me! Maybe. I shouldn't get my hopes up. Maybe I could tell Professor McGonagall. She's very trustworthy, and I love her class. I think I'll tell her in the morning, before breakfast. She probably wakes up early, she seems like the type. I can go to her in an hour maybe? That seems like a good amount of time. I think I'll just read books in the meantime. That seems like a good distraction. Thanks Diary, this has been helpful!

- Quinn <3

Quinn put down her quill and closed her diary. She grabbed a book off of her bed, walked into the common room, and began to read.

~~~

Quinn closed her book and looked at the clock. 5:54. Thank Merlin, I'll still have enough time to go to her office. She gets up and walks out of the common room, and soon arrives at the door of her professor's office. She goes to knock, but stops. Do I really want to do this? I mean, what if she really doesn't believe me? What happens then? What would I do? Maybe I should just go back to my dorm, and try to forget anything ever happened to me. Wait, no, I need to do this. I need to at least get it off my chest. Just take a deep breath, and knock on the door.

She nervously reaches her hand up to the door, and with a deep breath, she knocks three times on the door. She then steps back, and braces for impact. The door opens, and a face peers down at her. Quinn looks up nervously and opens her mouth to speak.

"Well, Miss Dalton, you have stood here for quite a bit without saying anything. What exactly is it that you need?" asks a seemingly annoyed professor McGonagall.

"I-I, erm, n-need to speak with you about something..." stammers the nervous girl.

"Go ahead. No one's stopping you." the professor states with eyebrows raised.

"It's... p-private!" Quinn squeaks with a grimace after she says it.

"Oh. Well, come in, come in. Sit down. Would you like something? Tea? Maybe a biscuit?" offers the professor with a kind yet slightly nervous smile.

"...b-biscuit please..." murmurs the girl, sitting down in the chair that was offered to her.

"Well," starts the woman, handing the small girl a biscuit, "What do you need to talk about?"

"E-erm. Okay, uh, okay, s-so yesterday s-something... b-bad... happened. To me! T-to me." the girl awkwardly spits out.

Minerva inhaled sharply. What could have possibly happened to this girl? The professor's face reverts to a less worried state.

"Miss Dalton, what happened? Did-," her voice lowers, "Did someone hurt you?"

The second year's eyes automatically fill up with tears as she looks down. She nods.

"Who?" asks the professor urgently, "A student? A professor?"

"P-pr'fessor..." the tearful girl mumbles.

"Which one?"

"L-" the girl's throat catches, and she bursts into an all new fit of tears. "Lockhart."

"What happened?" the head of house asks with urgency like never before. "What did he do to you?"

"H-he- he-" the girl slaps her hands over her mouth and cries even harder than before, then sobs something unintelligible into her hands.

The professor realizes her mistake, and speaks in a much softer voice.

"Miss Dalton, it's alright. I didn't hear what you just said, can you please take your hands off of your mouth?"

Quinn Dalton ripped her hands off of her mouth and began to shout.

"I DIDN'T WANT IT! Please I didn't want it, I didn't want him to but he kept going, he kept going and I couldn't stop it, I couldn't stop him, and I tried, I tried, but he didn't listen! Please, please believe me, he said you wouldn't believe me, that you'd hate me, oh professor please don't hate me! I didn't want it I swear it! I-I s-swear i-it..." The girl broke off into to sobs, repeating over and over the words; "I didn't want it."

The professor looked at the crying girl in shock, her eyes wide from realizing what must have happened. Her head filled with thoughts of rage, worry, sympathy, and surprise. But one thought stood out from all the others, one that drove everything else she knew she needed to do: I can't let this girl be hurt again.

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