Chapter 2
“i do not want to have you
to fill the empty parts of me
i want to be full in my own
i want to be so complete
i could light a whole city
and then
i want to have you
cause the two of us combined
could set it on fire”
- rupi kaur
Chapter 2
“Where the hell have you been?”
Neil groaned— of course he was being interrogated the moment he walked into the apartment.
“And shouldn’t you be at work? You always work morning shifts on Tuesdays. And why haven’t you answered your phone for the past twelve hours. Knox has been worried sick!”
“Good morning to you, too, Charlie,” he said sarcastically as he kicked off his shoes and shimmied out of his layers to hang them on the coat rack by the door.
“Oh don’t fucking start with that tone, Neil,” his best friend scowled. He was doing a fantastic impression of a disgruntled mother with the way his hands were on his hips.
“Can I at least take a shower before you start patronizing me?”
Charlie huffed and threw his hands up. “Fine, fine, but you’ve got a lot of explaining to do.”
He rolled his eyes as he watched his best friend stomp away into the kitchen and proceed to clang around with the pots and pans. Neil shook his head in exasperation. I am going to take the longest shower in his life. But first, he plugged his phone into the charging cable by his bed. He gathered up fresh clothes and underwear, grabbed a clean towel, and disappeared into the bathroom— locking the door so Charlie couldn’t pull a stupid stunt like cornering him in the bathroom while he’s naked and holding his towel hostage. When he stepped underneath the hot spray of the shower he nearly embarrassingly moaned out loud at the feeling of the hot water melting away the tension in his body.
When he was a little kid, he used to despise taking baths or showers and his mother would have to haul him into the bathroom as he screamed and kicked. Now, showers were one of his favorite activities of the day. There was something therapeutic about washing away the dirt and grime and stress that collected throughout the span of hours. As well as the relief of leaving the shower and feeling clean and more like a person than a swamp monster. While he was showering, his stomach started to rumble when the smell of eggs, toast, and bacon wafted into the bathroom.
Charlie must be cooking breakfast.
He hoped his best friend would let him eat while he recapped the events of last night.
The events last night.
His hands paused from rinsing the shampoo out of his hair as images flashed through his mind of Derrick, leaving the restaurant, and roaming around Times Square. Pictures popped up unbidden of the victim, Todd Anderson, innocently strolling along the crosswalk. The scene replayed in his head of the truck speeding through the red stoplight, a yell of fear, Todd’s body being catapulted down the road like a rag doll, the truck drunkenly driving away. His brain painted a comparison of the crumpled body sprawled on the road and the blonde man laying in a hospital bed on life support. He thought about Jeffrey and Heather and how terrified they are of losing their brother. He thought about the repertoire of injuries and lacerations and contusions and trauma Todd was suffering with because of one person’s poor judgment.
He hoped those cops caught the man, because if he ever saw him he’d kill him.
He hadn’t even realized tears were falling from his eyes as if his body was catching up to the stress of the past twelve or so hours and was just now ridding his body of all the emotions. He wiped at his face, rinsed off the rest of his body of soap suds, and shut off the water. After thoroughly drying himself off and changing into baggy, black sweatpants and a grey long-sleeved cotton tee shirt with a quote from Michaelangelo that he’d purchased at the Smithsonian American Art Museum in Washington D.C. One of his art classes at NYU had a field trip there his second year, and Neil had loved every second of it. He wiped off the condensation on the mirror, and combed through his hair so he didn’t resemble a hedgehog, then unlocked and opened the bathroom door.
He tossed his dirty clothes into his laundry basket, hung up his towel, and checked on his phone. He grimaced at the amount of messages and phone calls he’d missed— most of which were from Charlie and Knox. But he even had some from his parents, Meeks, Pitts, and Cameron. As well as messages in their friend group chat named ‘Dead Poets Society’ as a tribute to the club they had reborn in high school thanks to Mr. Keating. Those texts caught his eye, and he unlocked his phone to read them.
5:45am
Meeks 🤓: hey, can anyone tell me why Neil’s name is plastered over the news channel?
6:17am
Pitts 😵💫: yo what??? did Neil get arrested??
6:24am
Cam 🥸: I was just reading an article about it. Neil witnessed a hit and run?
6:30am
Pitts 😵💫: @Neil @Knox @Char can this be confirmed or denied????
6:32am
Char 🙄: it cannot be bc that fucker hasn’t come home yet
6:33am
Knox 🥴: yeah, I’m really worried and he stopped answering his phone hours ago
6:34am
Meeks 🤓: maybe his phone died?
6:35am
Char 🙄: maybe he died. i swear to god if he’s dead in a ditch somewhere im killing him
6:36am
Pitts 😵💫: I think that’s a little counteractive charlie
6:36am
Char 🙄: shut up beanpole im a worried mother
6:37am
Meeks 🤓: should we call the police or something? What if he’s truly in trouble?
6:38am
Cam 🥸: We have all already texted him separately last night and now this morning. Why don’t we give him until 10am to respond before we start to actually seek out more help?
‘Meeks 🤓, Pitts 😵💫, Char 🙄, and Knox 🥴 liked this message’
Neil swiftly typed out a message and sent it before leaving the text thread with a sigh. He scrolled through his unopened messages until he landed on one that was an unsaved contact.
9:22am
[unknown number]: Hi Neil, it’s Heather. I wanted to send a text so you can have my number saved. Everything is as good as it can be here so there’s no need to rush back. Text me when you’re on your way. Thanks!
Neil smiled and added Heather to his contact list before continuing scrolling through his phone. He noticed missed calls from his manager at work and figured he’d call her a little later. He ignored the messages from his parents and replied to a message from his friend Ginny Danbury— who was still attending NYU and wouldn’t graduate until next spring. He was painfully curious about what press was releasing on the incident last night, but he couldn’t bring himself to tap on the google search engine. He huffed and turned off his phone to let it charge to full power, and wandered into the kitchen where Charlie was setting the dining room table.
Neil walked into the kitchen, grabbed a cup from the cabinets, and poured himself some orange juice before taking a seat in front of a steaming mug of coffee and a plate of scrambled eggs, toast with strawberry jam, and crispy bacon. He watched his best friend set down his own coffee mug and situated himself across from him. Neil picked up his fork and dug into the eggs, and was grateful that Charlie granted him a moment to wolf down a majority of his breakfast before jumping back into interrogating him. Neil had finished half his mug of coffee, all of his orange juice, all of his eggs and toast, and was starting to eat the bacon when Charlie spoke up.
“I need you to tell me what happened.”
“What are you, a cop?”
“Neil, can we be serious for once? Please?”
“Sorry, sorry. Um, I guess I’ll start from the beginning.”
“From your date with Derrick?”
“Gross. Don’t say his name.”
“Yeesh. Was he that bad?” Charlie laughed.
“He wasn’t that bad,” he chewed on his bacon thoughtfully. “Until he started sounding exactly like my father.”
“Ew,” Charlie cringed, taking a swig of water. His best friend disliked Mr. Perry more than anyone else— including him.
“Yeah, so, that ended poorly. Anyway, I decided to walk around Times Square to clear my head and-”
“You mean sulk?”
“Shut up, Dalton.”
“Sorry, geez, proceed.”
“Anyway, I’m walking around West 38th street. It’s past nine at night and I left the date a little before eight-thirty…”
—-
Charlie had reacted sympathetically to the story up until the very end when he told him he was going to take a nap, then return to the hospital in the evening.
“You’re going to go back?” Charlie shouted, bewildered. “Why?”
“Because I told them I’d be back.”
“Why’d you tell them that? You’re not obligated to stick around there anymore!”
“Well I made a promise to Jeff and Heather that I’d help support them while their brother is recovering!” Neil snapped back, annoyed at his friend’s lack of compassion.
“You shouldn’t have promised that. That’s bullshit. You don’t know them and they don’t know you.”
“I spent an entire night at the hospital with them. I think it’s safe to say we’re not strangers anymore.”
“You’re really going to waste your time and energy focusing on someone who may never wake up? Instead of focusing on your relationships or booking auditions for roles?”
“Jesus Christ, Charlie, you sound like such an asshole right now! Do you hear yourself? I’m not throwing away my life, I’m just putting it on the back burner so I can be of help to Jeff and Heather. This isn’t permanent.”
“You know, your boss at the coffee shop called me and told me that you’re fired. How are you going to make any income if you have no job and you’re planning to spend hours of your life at a hospital?”
“Seriously? Your main concern is whether or not I can pay fucking rent? I can move out if that’s really what this is about.”
“What? No! I don’t want you to move out.”
“Then why are you acting like this? You’re supposed to be my friend. You’re supposed to be on my side.”
The anger that was in Charlie’s eyes immediately faded.
“I- shit. You’re right. I’m sorry,” Neil watched warily as his best friend’s shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry. The stress of not knowing where you’d been for hours while trying to get Knox to chill the fuck out, and then hearing that you’re on the news. It all just really freaked me out, and I shouldn’t have lashed out on you like that. You’re doing a great thing by helping them and I shouldn’t have said it would be a waste or implied that the guy you saved wasn’t going to survive.”
“That was awfully crappy of you,” Neil agreed after a moment, and Charlie snorted. “But I’m sorry, too. I should’ve thought about the fact that you and Knox would be really worried and at least sent you guys a quick text before my phone died. I promise I’ll figure out a way to keep paying rent.”
“Nah,” Charlie sniffed and waved a hand at him. “Knox’s parents still send him loads of money every week and my parents will give me money if I just ask. Don’t worry about paying rent for now, let me know if you need any cash during your hospital escapades, and don’t you dare think about trying to find a way to pay us back.”
Neil blinked in surprise.
“Neil, I am on your side. Always. And if helping Heather and Jeff and their brother gets to be too much they’ll understand. And if you need to talk or vent or cry, please come find me.”
He was half-tempted to start crying again, as he stood up from the table and wrestled Charlie into a hug.
“Aw, Char, you’re such a softie.”
“Fuck off, Perry.”
Neil pretended he didn’t notice the way his best friend’s arms wrapped around him tighter.
—-
Charlie and Neil called Knox, who was at his office job, and updated him on everything.
Knox had practically sobbed over the phone, relieved that Neil wasn’t missing or dead and shared the same sentiments as his boyfriend that if he needed anything he was there.
Neil and Charlie then did a Group FaceTime with Meeks, Pitts, and Cameron to give them the rundown which had spiralled into chaos with the way Pitts had a million questions, Cameron wanted to know all the logistics, and Meeks kept spewing out unprompted medical advice.
Once that call was over, Charlie told him he had to run a few errands. As his best friend headed out the door, wearing several layers as the temperature in New York was steadily dropping with the cold snap, Neil stumbled into his bedroom and collapsed onto his bed. He wiggled himself under the covers, gave his phone one last glance, and proceeded to pass out into a dreamless sleep a quarter past eleven AM.
He was woken up around four-thirty in the afternoon to his cellphone ringing aggravatingly loud. He blindly reached for his phone and answered the call, slurring out a “hullo?” as he wiped the grogginess out of his eyes and drool around his mouth. Damn. He still felt exhausted.
“Hello, is this Neil Perry?”
“This is he,” he mumbled as he unplugged his phone and sat up.
“Hi, this is Jonathan Rykers from the New York police department. You’re the one who reported and witnessed the hit-and-run on 38th street, is that correct?”
His eyes widened, the sleepiness from his body suddenly evaporated into thin air. “Yes, that's correct. Did you catch the person who had done it?”
“Unfortunately no,” Neil frowned at that. “But we do have our suspect thanks to video surveillance and your descriptions. His name is Patrick Smallwood, fifty-four years old, no spouse and no kids. He appears to be fleeing down the East coast. He was recently spotted in Philadelphia.”
“What can be done now?” Neil rolled his eyes. Of course the suspect would be a coward and run, instead of facing the consequences of his own actions.
“There’s constant updates about his whereabouts. So we’re hoping another police department can catch him and bring him back to New York so he can be prosecuted and court hearings can be scheduled. The Andersons have already been informed.”
“Thank you, sir. Is there anything else?”
“No, but we will reach out to you with more information and a possible interview hopefully in the near future.”
“Sounds good. Thank you.”
“Thank you, Mr. Perry.”
Neil tossed his phone down his lap, covered his face with his hands, and groaned.
What a nightmare all of this is.
—-
He ended up picking up Chinese takeout on his way to Mount Sinai’s Hospital after shooting Heather a text and receiving both her and Jeff’s food order and a thank you.
The three of them ate containers of chicken lo mein, fried rice, and pork dumplings with flimsy chopsticks in the hospital cafeteria after Heather took several minutes convincing her husband that Todd would be just fine if they left his room for a bit to eat. According to his wife, Jeff would only step away from his brother’s bed if absolutely necessary. He’d skipped breakfast, left to eat a meager lunch around noon, and left a few times to use the restroom. Other than that, he clung to his younger brother’s hand and whispered nonsense until his voice grew hoarse or he choked himself up with childhood memories, and Heather would then jump in to do the talking for him.
Jeff had eaten all of his food faster than Neil thought humanly possible. He couldn’t even tell if the man actually chewed and swallowed his food, but Jeff was finished eating, throwing away his containers, and exiting the cafeteria before he or Heather could react. Neil looked over at Heather as the woman frowned to herself while she poked at a piece of chicken.
“What’s on your mind?” Neil asked, wiping his mouth with a napkin.
Heather spoke after a brief pause, “I just- I thought being able to visibly see Todd would lessen some of Jeff’s nerves but I feel like, if anything, seeing his brother has only made it worse.”
Neil pursed his lips. “How so?”
“I don’t know,” Heather shook her head, her curls bouncing with the action, as she set down her chopsticks. “It’s like seeing his brother on that hospital bed has made Jeff more upset with himself now that he can witness the extent of his injuries.”
“But why would Jeff be upset with himself? This was not in any way his fault.”
“I guess it’s the older sibling mindset.” She pointed at him. “You don’t have any siblings, right?”
“Nope.”
“And my two sisters are both older than me, so neither of us can really relate. But I think Jeff just has this, I dunno, this instinct to protect Todd. So whenever Todd gets hurt he always blames himself for not being able to shield him from that pain.”
Neil could understand that in a way, but it still didn’t make much sense. “But it’s impossible to keep his brother from any negative experiences. It’s impossible for anyone to not experience pain.”
“Exactly,” Heather chuckled dryly. “And he’s only grown worse about it since their mother died. But, I mean, Jeff has always been far too protective of Todd. I remember how pissed Jeff was when he found out kids were bullying Todd at school. I mean, I was too, but Jeff was terrifying. He put an end to that real quick.”
“How did their mother die?” He asked, then slapped a hand over his mouth.
“Stage four breast cancer,” was all she offered in a sullen tone. Neil nodded, feeling guilty for being nosey.
Curiosity killed the cat.
“So Jeff’s crazy protective, huh?” He asked, trying to lighten the mood.
Heather’s lips quirked up, “oh, don’t get me started about Jeff when Todd started showing interest in dating. Anytime his brother had a date, my husband would scare them shitless if they so much as breathed in the wrong direction while they were around him and Todd. I found it hilarious, but Todd did not at the time. I remember him wanting to ask this one boy in his class to the school dance and Jeff had a conniption.”
He wanted to ask a boy to the school dance. A boy.
Wait a damn minute.
His expression must’ve changed on his face because Heather raised a brow at him.
“Please don’t tell me you’re homophobic, Neil Perry.”
“What? No!” He gasped, clutching his chest. “No, no way. Me? Of course not. I also happen to be gay and my roommates are gay. Most of my friends aren’t straight, actually. You and Jeff are like my only friends that are straight. I- I love gay people!”
He closed his mouth, cringing at himself. God, he wanted to slap himself at how stupid he sounded. He didn’t feel like that helped his case. Did that somehow make him seem more homophobic?
Heather, however, burst out laughing. She replied once her bouts of cackling finally subsided. “Oh my god, Neil, you’re so funny. Wow, I needed that. I haven’t laughed that hard in so long. You are quite the character, huh?”
Neil’s ears were burning with embarrassment, but he couldn’t help but smile, “I guess you can say that’s the actor in me?”
The woman chortled in amusement once more.
—-
Neil had been hesitant to leave the hospital Tuesday night.
But both Heather and Jeffrey insisted it’d be best if he hung around the hospital during the day and went home and got proper rest during the night. Neil had been concerned about Jeff’s brother, since the doctor had said there could be a chance his health crashed within these twenty-four hours. After Heather reassured him that she’d text him updates, he’d finally heeded their requests and returned to his and his friends’ apartment. Knox and Charlie had both gone to bed by the time he strolled in around eleven PM. Neil scrolled through social media until his eyes grew heavy, then fell asleep until eight AM.
When he’d woken up, he had immediately checked his phone.
7:05am
Heather: Todd’s vitals stayed stable throughout the night. Dr. Kelly and the nurses are feeling optimistic. They’re hoping to get him off the ventilator Friday or Saturday, see how that goes, then maybe begin weaning him off his sedatives if all goes well. Fingers crossed! 🤞
7:06am
Heather: See you later! (Ps. Jeff requested pasta for lunch. We can order it, if you can pick it up?)
Neil grinned at the good news. That would be amazing if Todd’s lungs were able to function without additional aid, and weaning him off the sedatives could mean the young man would be awake by the start of the next week. He bet Heather and Jeff were over the moon.
He jumped in the shower, got dressed for the day, made himself a quick and easy breakfast then hopped onto his laptop to scan through his emails. He also found himself googling his name and Monday’s date, February 3rd, 2025, to read an article about the incident. Jeffrey and Heather’s names were included, as well as his own. He had to stop himself, though, when the article stated that the victim, twenty-year old Todd Anderson and recently published and on-the-rise author, was in critical condition at New York’s Mount Sinai’s Hospital. Disturbed by the image shown of the scene of the hit-and-run where there were clearly skid marks, broken glass, and dried blood, he decided to close the tab and open a new one. Before he could think, he was googling “author Todd Anderson” into the search engine.
His eyebrows lifted as he saw that the young blonde man had a collection of poems he’d published just last year, in September, when he was still nineteen.
Poetry, he mused. Mr. Keating would like him.
The book was doing well based on the reviews from well-known authors, other poets, and some esteemed writing critics. There was recent news about the new, upcoming author working on another collection of poems and possibly even a novel. Neil spotted that Todd’s book was being sold at most bookstores in the area, and mentally made a note to remind himself to search for it the next time he passed at the Barnes & Nobles. He closed that tab as well when he saw blurbs of authors posting on their socials about the incident. He aimlessly watched YouTube videos until the time on his laptop displayed that it was nearing noon. He logged out, shut the screen, and texted Heather.
With that, he was out the door and headed to the Italian restaurant a couple blocks away from the hospital.
—-
The next few days, Neil fell into a routine.
He would wake up, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, then do whatever until the clock struck noon. Sometimes he’d clean, sometimes he’d start a load of laundry, sometimes he’d just scroll through his phone or play around on his laptop. Heather would text him whether or not they were ordering takeout for lunch or for dinner— they tried to avoid eating out for both meals. Jeff and Heather typically paid for the meals, but occasionally Neil chipped in or paid for them entirely. He would pick up the food on his way to the hospital if they ordered lunch and he’d meet them at the cafeteria to eat the takeout or consume whatever strange assortment of foods the hospital had to offer that day.
Then, they’d lounge around in Todd’s room. Jeff would usually hold his brother’s hand and talk, while Neil and Heather conversed and played card games— Jeff would sometimes join in on a game of Uno. The three of them would leave the room, out of respect, when the nurse has to come in and change and clean Todd’s bandages and check his incision sites. When dinner rolled around, Neil would leave the hospital to pick up their food order and meet them back at the cafeteria or the three would walk to the cafeteria together and eat and talk. After dinner, they’d return to Todd’s room and watch the television or turn on a movie. Neil would leave around ten at night, bid and hug the two farewell, then go back to the apartment and sleep. Then start all over.
Charlie and Knox would sometimes run into him in the morning and they’d catch up with each other. Neil still ignored texts from his parents, and made an effort to text Meeks, Pitts, Cameron, and Ginny more often. He also scoured the internet for updates about the search for the suspect, Patrick Smallwood, but was thoroughly disappointed each day that went by and he still hadn’t been caught. He was last seen making his way to the Carolinas. While Heather and Jeff weren’t focused on the criminal, too absorbed with fretting over Todd’s health, Neil desperately wanted them to get justice.
On Saturday, five days since Todd was admitted to the hospital, Neil arrived at the hospital later than he usually does.
He didn’t have lunch with Jeff and Heather, because his online therapy session via Zoom had gone longer than normal— which he had expected considering he had a lot to talk about. He had texted Heather that he wouldn’t be at the hospital until around 2PM, to which she replied with a “no worries!” and that had been that.
He was not prepared to walk into Todd’s room and find Heather and Jeff nowhere to be seen and a blonde girl he didn’t recognize playing music through a small, portable speaker and holding Todd’s hand. She definitely wasn’t a doctor or nurse because she was wearing civilian clothes and looked fairly young. A low, melodic voice filled every corner of the room with an unfamiliar song along with an upbeat accompaniment of instruments like drums, guitar, bass, and piano.
“Would things be easier if there was a right way? Honey, there is no right way…”
“Uh,” he mumbled and the blonde girl startled. “Hello?”
She whirled around to face him, pausing the music, and releasing Todd’s hand. She had shoulder-length, wavy, blonde hair, dark blue eyes, and a light layer of makeup on her face. She was quite pretty, but Neil was wondering who she was and where Jeff and Heather had gone to. Surely those two trusted the woman enough to watch over Todd, but Neil was still cautious, and felt an odd urge to protect the unconscious man.
“Hi! You must be the infamous Neil Perry,” she chirped, offering her hand. “I’m Christina Noel, but most people call me Chris.”
Neil regarded her with suspicion, not moving a muscle. Should he call security?
“I’m Todd’s best friend,” she clarified, raising her brows with a smile toying at her lips. “Sorry, I probably should’ve started with that.”
“Oh,” his hostility immediately dropped and he felt a bit ashamed to have thought that he, Jeff, and Heather were the only ones that cared about the man. He shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you. Do you know where Heather and Jeff went?”
“Jeff will be back soon. He had to discuss with the receptionist about insurance and medical coverage, then call-in to an important work meeting. Heather drove back to their house to run a load of laundry, complete some errands, and speak with the higher ups at Columbia about making her classes mostly asynchronous for the rest of the semester.”
Neil instantly felt guilty. He hadn’t thought about the fact that Jeff and Heather have full-time jobs and responsibility outside of the hospital. Meanwhile, Neil was unemployed and bumming off them and his friends. Perhaps he should look for a new job or get over his pride and ask his mother for money.
Chris continued talking, “I would’ve visited sooner, but my boss was being a bitch about me taking time off— even PTO. Heather’s been keeping me in the loop, though, and luckily I have Saturdays and Sundays off.”
“How long have you known Todd?”
“For as long as I can remember. We were next door neighbors growing up. I’ve been cat-sitting for Todd since the…” Chris trailed off, breath hitching, and Neil’s chest stung. Him and Charlie were similar, he’d known his best friends since they were itty bitty. He couldn’t imagine the devastation if he found out his best friend was hospitalized with an unpredictable outcome recovery-wise.
“That’s kind of you,” he said, hoping to distract her. “He has a cat?”
“Yeah,” her somber expression morphed into to a gentler one. “She’s a calico, and her name is Delilah. Super cute and she tolerates me, but she clearly misses Todd. I’m just the spare human she’s stuck with for now.”
The two chuckled, then fell into an awkward silence. Chris resumed playing music by unpausing the speaker, reclaimed her seat next to Todd, and retook his hand in her own.
“Love with every stranger, the stranger the better. Love with every stranger, the stranger the better…”
“What artist is this?” He inquired, surveying the heart and respiratory rates displayed on the vital signs monitor.
“Neil, I’m disappointed,” she tsked at him, teasingly. “How can you not know Hozier?”
He shrugged sheepishly, “I mostly listen to show tunes and broadway soundtracks.”
She snickered at that, “oh, I see, you’re a huge theater nerd.”
“Hey! I am not,” Neil whined, offended. “I know some pop artists. Like, uh, Taylor Swift and Beyoncé?”
“Anyone who wasn’t born under a rock knows those two artists, but nice try,” Chris snorted, amused. “Anyway, Todd loves indie-pop and folk-pop. Although, he did go through a phase of blasting the Hamilton soundtrack on repeat in middle school.”
“But I’m a huge nerd?”
“I never said Todd wasn’t. He’s just a nerd in a different way.”
“That’s favoritism.”
“No offense, Neil, but we only just met like five minutes ago.”
“Okay, fair.”
Neil dragged a chair over to the foot of the bed, allowing the music to wash over him as they sat in a more comfortable silence this time around. He came to the conclusion that he liked Chris. She was cheery and funny, and he could see why the Andersons trusted her. She gave off an air of maturity and warmth. Chris cleared her throat as she gingerly brushed Todd’s hair away from his forehead. It was a painfully sweet moment that made a lump form in Neil’s throat.
“Jeff gifted Todd two tickets to see Hozier live at Forest Hills Stadium in June last year for his nineteenth birthday,” she recalled, reverently, her eyes never leaving Todd’s face. “He automatically invited me to go with him. It was absolutely amazing. The venue, the seats we had, the concert. Hozier sounded even better live than he does in his recordings.”
“That sounds like a fun night,” he murmured.
“It was,” tears shimmered in Chris’ eyes. “Todd was so happy. His smile is brighter than the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree, I swear to you.”
“I don’t have any doubt about that.”
“He’s going to survive this, Neil,” Chris turned to him with a fierce determination on her face. “He’s going to get better and keep getting better and come out of this stronger than ever. Right?”
“Yes,” Neil replied, firmly. “Because he has you, and he has Jeff, and he has Heather…”
“And he has you.”
“…and he has me.” Neil said quietly.
“God, I hope he lives. I hope he thrives once he’s out of here.”
“He will, Chris, he will. I can feel it.”
“‘Cause God knows I fall in love just a little, oh, a little bit everyday with someone new…”
—-
When Neil woke up around eight AM the next day, on Sunday morning, he checked his phone.
When he’d left yesterday evening, Dr. Kelly and the nurses were working through weaning Todd off of the ventilator by raising his bed so that Todd laid a little more upright, and gradually reducing the amount of support the ventilator was providing. They were informed that the process was going to take several hours due to Todd being on the ventilator for multiple days, which heightened the chances of his body not reacting well to the weaning. They had begun around four in the afternoon, and were still reducing the ventilator support by the time he left around ten.
He had wanted to stay, but the hospital didn’t allow for more than two people to spend the night with a patient. He and Chris left around the same time, and swapped numbers after bonding and chatting for the past eight hours. Heather had promised them both she would keep them updated and let them know if they successfully wean him to the point that they can perform extubation— removing the breathing tube. Then, Todd would be switched over to supplement oxygen through an oxygen mask. Then continue from there to test if his lungs are ready to breathe on their own without any support. It was all very tedious, and Neil had a difficult time falling asleep when he’d gotten back to the apartment.
He saw a text message from Heather and quickly unlocked his phone to read it.
7:27am
Heather: While the weaning process was long and arduous, Todd was a rockstar. They just finished his extubation and swapped him over to an oxygen mask. Hooray to no more bulky ventilator and breathing tube!
Heather: One milestone down, many more to go! 🎉
Heather: [sent an image]
Neil’s cheeks hurt from how hard he was smiling as he opened the attached picture. Heather had taken a photo of Jeff, smiling, with one hand holding his brother’s and one hand giving a thumbs up. Neil could see more of Todd’s face with the ventilator gone and the oxygen mask now in its place. He looked more like he was sleeping than… well… a corpse. He was delighted to say the least, and quickly responded with excitement and a gif of a cat jumping up and down saying “yippee!”.
As he tapped out his message with Heather, he saw a new message pop up. He opened it.
Chris Noel 🤗: [sent an image]
Chris Noel 🤗: proof that we went to see Hozier last summer lol
Neil’s eyes widened as he stared at the picture she had sent.
It was clearly Chris taking a selfie of her and Todd, with Hozier in the background on stage and pointing at them. Neil’s focus immediately gravitated to Jeff’s younger brother. His cheeks were flushed red, his hair was slightly mussed, he was wearing a Hozier tour tee-shirt, and his eyes were crinkled with how hard he was smiling in the photo. Neil realized that the blonde man’s eyes were a startling blue— as gorgeous as the sky during the day when there were no clouds to be found. They were vastly different from Jeff’s light brown eyes. The two really were opposites— sun and moon.
Chris was right, he thought to himself as he saved the picture to his camera roll.
Todd’s smile was radiant.