Nightmares
Chapter Three: Nightmares
When she first heard the scream, Elphaba thought she was dreaming. A chill went down her back as she snapped up, ready to grab Glinda and hop on the broomstick to fly them away. Up until then the night had been so still and peaceful that she’d slept with one eye open, untrusting of the calm, waiting for the Wizard’s minions to swoop down and haul them back to the Emerald City as though they were his lost pets.
However, when she looked down and saw the source of the screaming, something painful twisted inside her chest.
Glinda’s eyes were clenched shut, and her usually pale face had turned bright red. Tears leaked from her eyes as she thrashed wildly on the ground, her hands squeezed into fists as though to ward off imaginary attackers.
“No!” She screamed, flailing desperately, and the pain in that one word was enough for Elphaba to crawl the short distance to her friend and scoop her frail body into her arms.
“Shh,” Elphaba cooed as she began rocking Glinda gently, feeling as though she was soothing a frightened child. “It’s okay.”
“Let me go--!”
“It’s okay,” Elphaba said again, wincing when Glinda’s bony elbow jabbed into her stomach. Glinda thrashed out with her hand, but Elphaba caught it before it could slam into her cheek. “Glinda, wake up! You’re having a nightmare.”
“Let me go!” Glinda repeated, and the desperation that laced through her voice broke Elphaba’s heart. She shook the trembling girl gently, tightening the hold she still had on her hand as Glinda struggled to wrench herself out of her grip. “Elphie, help me!”
“I’m right here.” Elphaba threw a cautious look around to make sure Glinda’s hysterics hadn’t attracted any unwanted attention. The land around them appeared undisturbed, but she kept her voice down anyway as she turned back to Glinda who, Elphaba noticed with a start, had begun trembling uncontrollably.
“I’m right here,” she said again as she held the blonde as tightly as she dared, not wanting to add to Glinda’s bruises. Her skin was cold underneath her touch. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Another tear fell down Glinda’s cheek as she finally opened her eyes, her brow pinched tightly together. She sniffled, her eyes flickering around her as though trying to figure out where she was. Elphaba didn’t move, hardly daring to breathe. She still held Glinda’s hand even though the girl had stopped trying to hit her, but Glinda hardly noticed. When her gaze landed on Elphaba, more tears leaked out of her eyes, and she yanked her arm out of Elphaba’s vice-like grip.
Elphaba’s heart sank when Glinda twisted around as though to pry herself away from Ephaba, but her breath caught in her throat when the girl threw her arms around her instead.
Glinda clung to her like a child would cling to a parent. Her hands gripped Elphaba tightly, as though she were afraid to let go. Her fingers dug painfully into Elphaba’s skin, but she didn’t dare move. She’d endure the pain if it meant that Glinda got the comfort she so desperately needed.
Glinda buried her sobs into Elphaba’s shoulders, her body shaking from the exertion. Elphaba wrapped her arms around her friend as gently as she could, unsure how much of her touch would be welcome. Glinda hardly seemed to notice, tightening her hold on Elphaba as though she were afraid to let go.
“Oh, Elphie!” Elphaba didn’t think she’d ever heard so much fear and sadness in Glinda’s voice before, and her heart broke to think that she was the cause of it. “I was so scared!”
“I know,” Elphaba breathed, fighting to contain her own tears. Hearing her friend in so much pain threatened to send her over the edge, but she couldn’t afford to be anything other than brave. Glinda was hurting, and she needed Elphaba to be the strong one. Elphaba was determined to do whatever Glinda needed to make her feel safe again. “It’s all right. You’re safe now.”
Glinda sniffled, keeping her hold around Elphaba. Elphaba let her, stroking Glinda’s back and running her fingers through her tangled hair. Her mind scrambled to think of something else to say to ease some of Glinda’s suffering, but she couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t make everything worse or remind her of everything she’d just lost. Elphaba may not have been the one to give the girl her bruises, but she was responsible for them regardless.
“Please don’t leave me again,” Glinda whispered into Elphaba’s shoulder, turning her face to nuzzle her unbruised cheek into Elphaba’s side. “When you got on that broom and flew off…I thought you’d left and I…I was so scared.”
“I’m sorry,” Elphaba replied helplessly, feeling her own tears begin to fall as she continued to stroke Glinda’s hair. “I won’t leave you again.”
Glinda’s tightening grip around Elphaba’s back was her only response.
Elphaba was unsure how long they stayed like that, two broken young women sitting in the middle of the night, trying to piece together their shared grief. Her eyes burned from her heavy tears, but she didn’t dare wipe them away. She wouldn’t give Glinda any reason to think she was pulling away. The girl was so fragile that one wrong move threatened to shatter her completely.
“Elphie?” Glinda sounded so small and frightened. “What are we going to do?”
Elphaba sighed softly as she rubbed circles along Glinda’s back. “I don’t know.” She couldn’t bring herself to lie to Glinda, even as she desperately wanted to comfort her. “Glinda, I…I don’t know.”
This was all her fault. It was her fault that Glinda couldn’t go back to Shiz or her family. She ought to be able to say something to give her friend a glimmer of hope; that maybe, someday, she could pick up the pieces of her old life and maybe put this all behind her. But it would be a lie, because Elphaba didn’t know if they could go back. They were just two girls. How could they hope to go up against the Wizard and Madame Morrible? They held Oz in the palms of their hands, and the girls were nothing more than fugitives.
It was too much to think about, so Elphaba pushed it to the back of her mind. Right now, she had more pressing matters.
Like how to take care of her traumatized friend and keep her safe.
“Glinda, I…I’m sorry for dragging you into this with me,” Elphaba choked out, fighting the urge to keep Glinda close to her when the girl finally pulled out of the hug. She stared at her with unreadable eyes, and Elphaba squirmed under her gaze. Even in the darkness of night, she felt her accusation as acutely as a flickering flame.
“Elphie,” Glinda began, but Elphaba cut her off before she could say anything further.
“I know you wanted to stay behind and go back to Shiz, but when those guards put their hands on you and caused you pain, I…I just reacted, but I couldn’t leave you there, not when they were hurting you—”
“Elphie, I—”
“I know it was selfish of me to take you off that tower, but I was so mad, and you were so scared—”
“ELPHIE!”
Elphaba jumped at hearing her nickname shouted into the night air. She glanced at Glinda, bracing herself for the flood of accusations that would surely burst free from the blonde’s mouth, but instead of reproach, she saw only understanding.
“I don’t blame you,” she said, her voice softer now that she had Elphaba’s attention. “I know why you did it, and it’s okay.”
Elphaba frowned. Whatever she’d expected Glinda to say, based on her cold distance right before they’d gone to sleep, that had not been it. “Glinda, I—”
“Let me finish,” Glinda interrupted firmly, and Elphaba snapped her mouth shut, chastened.
Glinda waited a moment before speaking, eyeing Elphaba as though she expected to be interrupted again. Then she went on, “I was so scared when you jumped through that window back on that tower. You didn’t fly, you fell, and for the briefest moment, I thought you were dead. I thought you were dead, and I’d never felt so alone.”
Elphaba closed her burning eyes, half-wishing that Glinda would say no more. She hated how much pain she’d put Glinda through, all for the sake of her stupid cause. If she’d just been able to leave well enough alone, none of this would’ve happened.
“But then you came back,” Glinda continued, seemingly oblivious to Elphaba’s inner turmoil. “And it was like everything was going to be okay again. I wanted to go back to that moment right before the guards burst in on us and get on that broomstick with you.”
More tears leaked down Elphaba’s cheeks at Glinda’s admission as she gazed into her large brown doe eyes. They shone with tears of their own, but her friend’s voice was steady as she went on. “The guards were going to take me back to the Wizard. I heard one of them say they were going to use me as bait to get to you, and I couldn’t let that happen, Elphie. I just couldn’t. So, I fought,” she explained, almost apologetically, as though it were unseemly of her to be anything other than feminine and lady-like. “That’s why they were so rough with me. They must’ve known that you would try to get me off the tower, so they tried to bring me down to the Wizard and Horrible Morrible before that could happen. And I tried to stop them, but they were so strong.”
Glinda fell silent. Elphaba, unsure whether her friend was done talking or not, waited quietly, wrapping her arms around herself against the chilly night.
After another moment, Glinda spoke again, her voice soft and her eyes faraway, as though remembering her time on that tower. “If the Wizard and Morrible had gotten to me before you…I don’t know what they would’ve done, but it wouldn’t have been anything good.”
She went quiet again, and Elphaba yearned to pull her into another embrace. She looked so lost and defeated. It took everything in her just then not to get on her broomstick and fly back to the Emerald City to give the Wizard and Madam Morrible as much pain as they’d given Glinda.
“What I’m trying to say,” Glinda continued, looking into Elphaba’s eyes, “is thank you. You saved me. I understand that now. I was upset last night because everything happened so fast, and it was so much to process, but now…I’m glad I’m here with you.”
Glinda’s admission lessened the tightness in Elphaba’s gut that she hadn’t even known was there until that moment. It was like a literal weight had left her. She extended her hand for Glinda to take, but the girl ignored it and pulled her into a hug instead.
Relief such as Elphaba had never known before washed over her, overwhelming her thoughts and causing her breath to quicken. She held on as tightly to Glinda as she dared, mindful of the bruises that dotted her arms like a horrid mosaic.
“Thank you,” she murmured into Glinda’s shoulder. “But I want you to know that I am sorry for taking you with me. I know you wanted to go back to Shiz—”
“I want to be with you,” Glinda insisted, lifting the guilt off Elphaba’s shoulders even more. “Haven’t you been listening, silly?”
Elphaba gasped out a chuckle among her tears. Trust Glinda to try to lighten the heavy mood.
When they pulled away, Glinda surprised her yet again by nuzzling her head underneath Elphaba’s chin, wrapping her arms protectively around Elphaba’s stomach. She looked ready to fall asleep right there, and Elphaba was prepared to let her.
She’d never had a friend before, let alone a friend who was willing to give up everything to be with her. She was overwhelmed with emotion, unsure what to do with it all. When she’d thought that she was going to fly off alone, she’d been prepared to do whatever she needed to and give up whatever she needed to give up to fight for what she believed in and stop the Wizard and his dastardly plans. But now that she had Glinda with her—someone to protect—it changed things.
For the better, but still.
She was grateful to have Glinda by her side. Whatever was to come, she knew she’d be able to face it if she had her friend with her.
When Elphaba looked down, Glinda’s eyes were closed, and her breathing had evened out. Her arms were still wrapped around Elphaba’s stomach, but she didn’t mind. She eyed the cloak that Glinda must’ve kicked off during her earlier restless sleep, and raised her hand, summoning it to them with her magic.
It obeyed, floating over to the two girls as though brought by an invisible hand. Elphaba guided it to the sleeping girl in her lap, and draped it on top of her, smiling as Glinda unconsciously burrowed deeper into it. Her grip on Elphaba’s stomach loosened as she fell into a deeper sleep, and Elphaba found that she was disappointed.
Wide awake, she watched her friend sleep, absently stroking her hair. She raised a finger and slid it along the girl’s soft cheek. Glinda shivered at the touch, though she did not wake up. Elphaba smiled as she continued to run her fingers through the girl’s blonde hair, aware of how many times she’d longed to do this back in their dormitory at Shiz. At the time, she’d buried such desires as deeply into herself as she could, assuming at the time that nothing would come of it. Even when they’d loathed each other, Elphaba had been oddly fascinated with this girl, who’d had the world at her fingertips and the love and adoration of everyone around her. She’d floated through life so effortlessly that Elphaba couldn’t help but be intrigued by her.
And now here they were, alone in the borderlands of Winkie Country, not another soul in sight, and Elphaba had her all to herself. Of all the places Glinda could’ve chosen to be, she wanted to be here, in the middle of nowhere, with her.
Elphaba didn’t know what she’d done to earn Glinda’s friendship and trust, but she was determined to keep it. She’d do everything in her power to protect her friend and keep her safe.
No matter what.