The spell was complicated and took 3 years for James and Sirius to learn and perfect. But finally, the summer before their 5th year, they wrote to Remus explaining they'd gotten it down. James would be a stag and Sirius a big shaggy dog. Both animals big enough to keep Remus from hurting anyone.
He couldn't believe it. At 15 he had friends who loved him so much they were willing to put themselves in danger just so he wouldn't have to be alone during one of the most painful times of his life.
Now, Remus couldn't wait for September to arrive. To be back with his friends, his true friends. It was lonely at home and all he had were the photographs and memories and letters.
On particularly lonely nights Remus would take out the letters written to him by Sirius. He'd run his fingers over the untidy scrawl and flip through the photos. One in particular always caught his attention. It was the black haired boy at the beach. His hair hung down in messy curls to his shoulders and water droplets streaked down his naked torso. Sirius had grown taller and leaner over the summer, it seemed. In the photo Sirius would look up and notice the camera then smile and reach for it. It was taken on holiday with James' family.
Remus lay in bed one night, driven crazy by the thought of being back in the presence of Sirius. He reached for the photo and found his hand between his legs. He arched his hips up as his fist slammed down then sank back into the bed, moving his fingers slowly up his length, then repeated the motion over and over until his hips were moving faster than his hand could keep up with and he fell, deep into the throes of pleasure.
So much of his life had been pain and punishment that allowing himself this little luxury felt almost incomprehensible. He didn't imagine Sirius would reciprocate the feelings he had and was way too afraid to say anything. He was already on thin ice with the whole werewolf thing.
Finally, all was right and the four friends, now calling themselves the Marauders, were reunited.
********
"I can't believe you two idiots got me detention." Remus said as he walked with James and Sirius to the trophy room.
"We're nearly there. It'll be easy." Said James.
"I'm just going to use the loo before we go in." Said Remus turning toward the restroom.
Just then Filch rounded the corner. "Good you're early. Follow me."
"But sir, I was just going to-"
"Follow me." Filch demanded, not listening to Remus.
He sighed and fell in line behind James who gave him a sympathetic look. He'd be fine. He wasn't a kid after all, he could hold his wee.
But as the hours ticked by with no end in sight Remus was starting to come undone. He'd asked Filch to be excused several times with no success.
"Gotta make my rounds." Filch said. "Better not goof off while I'm gone." He locked the door behind him as he went.
"Ooh." Remus groaned.
"You alright mate?" James asked.
Remus shook his head. "I'm bursting."
"I'm sure Filch'll be back before you know it." He tried to comfort Remus from across the room, checking the door handle to see that it was really locked.
Remus squirmed and reached a hand down to grip himself in a very undignified manner.
"I truly don't think I'll make it." He all but whined.
"What do we do?" James mouthed at Sirius who shrugged, looking around.
Then he got an idea. He went to the stack of towels they were to use for polishing the trophies and grabbed a particularly thick and plushy one.
Remus, who was losing the battle, had sunk to his knees. Fighting off a leak as best he could. Sirius knelt in front of him and bunched the towel up in his hand.
"Here. Just use this." Remus looked wide eyed at Sirius. How did he mean?
Without thinking, Sirius pulled at Remus' waistband which had been loosened so Remus could use his hand to help himself hold back the flood.
The cool air tricked Remus and a small spurt came out, hitting the towel. Sirius wrapped the towel around Remus.
"See? Just go in the towel. The house elves will launder it and old Argie will be none the wiser." He smield.
Remus was mortified but his body didn't care any more. He was past desperate, he was in pain and his bladder spasmed, releasing another, longer leak. That leak didn't stop, though and before he even had time to think about what was happening, Remus was emptying his bladder, into a towel, held by Sirius.
Then it all hit him at once. "No." He said suddenly, slamming a fist into his thigh.
Both James and Sirius were startled by the sudden outburst.
"No. I'm not a child, I should be able to hold it." Remus landed another fist on his thigh. Soon he was grabbing fistfuls of hair and pulling at it, punishing himself for the shame and embarrassment he was causing. Sirius didn't know what to do. He still held the towel.
Soon Remus felt a presence behind him. James gently wrapped his arms around Remus, restraining him from hurting himself.
"I'm not going to let you hurt yourself, Moony."
"I'm… I'm an embarrassment. I'm disgusting. I'm..." He choked out the words between sobs.
"It happens, mate." Sirius soothed.
Remus' head folded forward, he didn't want to look at Sirius' face. His stupid beautiful face. Sweat plastered his hair to his forehead and tears dripped from his nose. Sirius pulled the towel away and tossed it under a table then carefully pulled the waistband of his friend's pants back up. James let go slowly and Remus scrambled to his feet, retreating to a dark corner of the room.
The three continued polishing and cleaning the trophy room. Nearly half an hour later Filch came back and released them. Remus walked fast back to the dormitory. Sirius and James followed silently, not wanting to upset their friend.
Peter was waiting up for them in the common room. He started right in a sin as they walked in.
"Not now, Peter." Sirius warned.
Remus went immediately to the shower and changed for bed. He said nothing to James and Sirius who sat solemnly on their beds, only climbed into his own bed and lay facing away from them.
He shuddered to think what they wanted to say about him when he wasn't around. Not only was he a werewolf, mudblood, not from a rich Wizarding family, he had also now humiliated himself completely.
Sirius was fighting an internal battle between his feelings for Remus and the sympathy he felt for the boy. The way he was so needy gave Sirius a rush but he was hit with a pang of guilt over the fact he was enjoying Remus' pain and embarrassment. He wanted to be needed like that again by his friend. He flopped onto his back, not sure what to do with all the feelings mixed inside him.
James paced the floor. He might have been an absolute shit to most people but his friends were a different story. No one got to hurt his friends and get away with it. But what should he do about his friend hurting themself? He didn't think about the situation that led to it all, didn't even care. Hell, most people had been in a predicament like that in their lives. All he cared about was how Remus had hurt himself, punished himself. The self loathing wasn't something James understood.