In the Meropide Fortress, life was so exhausting. Besides being huge, the prisoners were so disobedient, refusing to follow simple orders, they had no hygiene sense and—
I grunt, pressing the sole of my heavy combat boot onto the grass, leaving its mark, and lightly curse myself.
Damn, I shouldn’t be wasting my day off with idiotic complaints, especially about this kind of thing. I’m better than this, no doubt.
I laugh awkwardly, trying to convince myself of that.
I look up at the starry and clear sky. Even though I was so stressed at the moment, it felt like the sky had pulled my emotions and transformed them into tiny stars around the moon.
I sit on the grass, feeling how soft it was, like a feather, and free from moisture. Strangely enough, there was a low wall that completely ruined the vibe of the place, but I ignored it. I’m not going to stress over trivial things today. I take out my lighter, which is always hidden in my pocket, place my jacket under my boots, and open my cigarette box, putting one on the tip of my lips and lighting it.
I inhale the smoke and slowly exhale, it burned my lungs as if it were also burning my problems.
Foolishness.
This would only delay my death, but why does it matter?
I would die anyway. I don’t see why not do it while feeling good at least...
Well, just as I was about to inhale again, I feel a huge cloud followed by a downpour. I quickly stand up, seeing my jacket... too late! I should’ve grabbed it earlier! I quickly grab my jacket, realizing I made it even dirtier than it already was.
Damn, damn, damn, this fucking rain ruined my jacket!
My eyes wander back to my cigarette. I was so distracted I didn’t even notice it had gone out a long time ago.
Frustrated, I throw the cigarette on the ground, crushing it, and put my jacket on my back. I was already dirty enough.
Stoicism, the name?
I don’t know. I really don’t care.
After a few minutes running up the hill, trying not to get any wetter and stumbling a few times, struggling to see in the dark, I finally recognize a tall and thin silhouette contemplating the view, the ocean waves.
Strange.
I found it strange. Who, in the middle of a rainstorm, would stand like this, looking at the sea, in the middle of the night!?
Ah.
It’s Ludex.
But why is he in this rain? And still looking at the ocean?
I approach Ludex slowly from behind, and it seems like he knew who I was even before I could breathe near him.
"Wriothesley," he only said my name without even stopping to look at me, his gaze fixed on that beach, that damn sea.
My eyes travel over his figure, but something that really catches my attention, though I don’t say, is the fact that his boots don’t leave marks on the grass. Strange.
"You were alone here. I was a little worried. Not many people go out in the rain just to look at the sea, right? Haha," I say, trying to lighten the mood, so forced, just like I felt, this anguish, the feeling that he was sad, I hated it. I tried to cheer him up, after all, he was the love of my life.
Who wasn’t mine.
I don’t know, after all. He’s such an enigmatic figure, but there was a feeling that with him, I could truly be myself. Every moment with Ludex was worth it, and I would do anything to make it continue forever.
"We should end this now," he said so normally, as if it were the most normal thing to say at a dinner table.
"I need to focus on important things, not on something fleeting." His words hit me like a knife. How could he say that to me? Is he really the same person I gave my umbrella to when the storm was horrible?
No, no, it’s not possible.
It’s not the same person.
Frozen in shock, I feel my knees give out and I collapse to the ground. The physical pain didn’t matter. What really mattered was here, breaking my heart. I could only look at the ground as the rain mixed with my tears.
Neuvillette...
He didn’t look at me even once.
I couldn’t see his expression.
So, that’s it?
My voice came out so weak, it sounded like a whisper.
But right after that, there was a huge sound...
Or not.
I only noticed how he avoided my gaze and his face was soaked with rainwater.
As if the sky was crying...
And he too.