Apologies and Overdue Conversations
Scorpius was on the verge of tears. What the fuck just happened. Well, he knew what happened; he gave his boyfriend an emotional gift for Christmas and they kissed. In front of his whole extended family and friends. In front of his own dad. Who didn’t know. But how did that happen? Yeah, that he didn’t know. He just knew he had to make this right. Talk it out with his dad. But as soon as they had gotten home from The Burrow, the older man disappeared to his room, and his son was not going to be the one to look for him. Not as a revenge thing or whatsoever, he just… felt like throwing up.
Why did he feel like throwing up? His dad wasn’t going to be upset about him being happy...right? Oh hell. So his dad was weird about him befriending a Potter at first. Until he got used. Not weird anymore. And then he was weird about him being gay. Until he got used. Not weird anymore. This was just… the merge of those two? Well he had dated a Weasley before, and… No. He wasn’t going to stand there and overthink this whole thing for hours. He wanted to sleep well. He was going to talk it out with his dad now. Or well, tomorrow. It was already two am (so maybe he did overthink the thing for hours. Fine)
What awoke him six hours later, was the annoying ringtone of his phone. He meant to change it ages ago but he didn’t know how and always forgot to ask his friends to help him. The boy revolved around his room until he found the device. It was Albus calling. He got relieved and then worried, and was about to answer but- his phone died. Great. Fucking great. Now he was nervous. He connected his phone and went to his dad’s room. He should be awake at this time of the day in December. He loved the early snowed mornings and the sight from his window. So Scorpius was going to talk to him. No biggie. No need to delay this any longer. He was going to call Albus as soon as he was done.
He knocked on the door, less steadily than he intended, and he had to wait several moments before his dad told him to get in. He tried to walk as straight (ha, straight) and confident as he could to the bed where his dad was enjoying his coffee. The strong smell the brew emanated made the teen take a deep breath; the only thing about dark coffee was it’s smell.
“Morning”, his dad said.
“Morning”, his son replied.
“Thought you would want to sleep a little longer. It’s vacations, anyway, and Lucius and Narcissa aren’t coming until-”
“I couldn't,” Scorpius answered a bit harshly. But, he realised, he was angry. Angry his dad would just run away from the situation. He supposed himself doing that several times before was what got him here but that was his dad, he was supposed to make him feel safe. He was supposed to be happy that he was happy.
“Why was that?”Draco asked calmly. Scorpius could only frown.
“Why do you think so?” Okay, that was kind of a lie. He would have awoken later if it wasn’t for the rningone but still.
“I…” his dad took a deep breath, and left his mug on his night table, lifting up his nightgown enough to reveal a scar that repulsed Scropius by its meaning. “I thought you would come to talk to me when you were ready”
“Okay but you left. I thought you were mad at me.” his bottom lip wobbled while he said it.
“I’m not,” Draco said simply but firmly.
“Okay then…” Scorpius felt slightly embarrassed of what he had assumed. But it was watered down by the feeling of relief at hearing his dad was not mad. After some long moments, he spoke up again. “I know you have questions, that’s why I came here…” he bit his tongue after he realized that it had come out a little bit more angry than he intended, but his dad left a half smile on his face.
“Why don’t you tell me yourself?”
“I rather you asked…” he suddenly felt shy. So much secrecy to make this moment special and he just couldn’t bring himself to talk. Great. He had to apologise to Albus later for causing such drama. It’s okay, you fucking moron. You are as part of this relationship as I am and you are entitled to make any decision regardless of how bright it is, was what Scorpius imagined him answering. The heart warming sensation gave him some more confidence.
“Alright…” Draco sat up straighter and met his son’s gaze. “So… I’m assuming this was not the first time you guys… kissed? And was that the reason why you wanted to give him the guitar?”
“Yes and no. I wanted to give him the guitar since the summer and then we started dating in October, which was also the first time we… kissed,” after so long of not talking to his dad about his romantic life, the word ‘kissed’ sounded extremely weird to pronounce in front of him.
“Okay…” Draco doubted but then he spoke again. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Oh the so awaited question. The younger Malfoy sighted.
“Because I would have to tell you a lot more,” he blurted, and Draco looked slightly confused.
“I knew you were gay… and about Jacob, and…”
“But not about Aaron,” he didn’t have the time to stop his words and the mention of his first boyfriend or ex boyfriend, actually, that he never told his dad about. He kept talking before Draco could say whatever he was about to say. “And I don’t mean that, anyway.”
“Aaron as in… James’ old friend?”
“They share a name but they aren’t the same person. James almost killed me when I told him,” he snorted slightly at the memory, and his dad laughed.
“I’m a bit lost…” he admitted, and Scorpius felt bad.
“I dated him for a very short time in like, fourth year? When we went back to classes, but I never felt like telling you because-”
“You thought it would be weird talking to your dad about… boys?”
“I thought it would just be weird talking to you. What you said too, but… We didn’t really talk much, after mum… Even if we were stuck together for forever because of the virus…” Draco nodded slowly. “I just told you about Jake so I could bring him home over the summer and you wouldn’t realize it before I told you.”
“That… sounds fair”
“I wanted to have a proper conversation about Albus, though”, Draco’s eyes lit up a little. “And sending you a letter back in October… Not much room for conversation. So we decided to wait until the break. The last day of the break, which was kinda ruined…”
“So this was not how you imagined it?” Draco said jokingly and they both laughed.
“No, definitely not,” he breathed to steady himself after the break of laughter that he just had. He wasn’t nervous anymore. “I wish mum was here.” he accidentally left out.
“I also wish your mum was here,” the man ruffled his son’s hair. “But just because I lost the love of my life doesn’t mean you cannot come talk to me about yours” it was just as if he had read his mind. Scorpius’ eyes teared a little bit. He really wished his mum was there.
“I’m sorry…” he said, not very sure why he was apologising, just feeling he had to.
“No, I am sorry” his dad said, and Scorpius was full on crying. He thanked his dad wasn’t asking why, because his only coherent response would be ‘hormonal teenage things’. “I should have done a better job. I guess It was easier to talk about feelings with her. She made me feel heard, comprehended… I guess I just didn't want to weigh you with that. I wanted to solve myself so you could come to me… But I guess you already know where you got your stubbornness from.”
“I’m not stubborn!” Scorpius reclaimed, making him feel like he maybe was a little stubborn. They both laughed again.
“So what do you feel?” his dad asked him after some time. Scorpius made a confused look. “About… Albus”
“I…” he blushed. “I don’t know. No, I do know. I just don’t know how to put it in words”
“So you decide to kiss him in front of thirty people instead?” Scropius furiously blushed and his dad laughed soundly. “Hey! It’s a genuine question!”
“He liked the guitar and… we got carried away” Scorpius cringed at his words, keeping a smile on his face.
“I’m glad you gave it to him. He’s a good kid… Good for a Potter, at least”, his dad said jokingly, which he proved by kissing the top of his son’s head. Scorpius leaned into the touch. He checked the clock on his dad’s table. 10:04. He had to call Albus before he exploded.
“I need to-”
“Go call him, I know” Scorpius smiled, halfly apologetically and left the room, but not fast enough so the ‘you are a good kid as well’ his dad blurted got underheard. He smiled at that.