Chapter 6
Hermione was lying in bed on Saturday morning, in no rush to get up, with nowhere to be, though the coffee pot was beginning to call. She was thinking back to the previous day when a thought suddenly occurred to her which had her launching herself out of bed, grabbing a dressing gown and running through her flat towards the fireplace so she could speak to Harry immediately.
“Grimmauld Place,” she exclaimed, throwing herself into the green flames.
“’Hermione! What’s going on? Are you alright?” Harry jumped up from the table in panic. Ginny, however just narrowed her eyes at her friend.
“She’s fine Harry, she’s just had an idea or something. She’s got that look about her.” Ginny cradled her coffee mug between her hands, as she sat looking up at Hermione.
“What, how do you know that?” Harry asked looking between them.
“She’s right, Harry,” Hermione told him as she sat down at the table summoning a mug and the coffee pot. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to panic you. I just had a thought. You know I told you what Draco said yesterday, about the potion?” Harry nodded. “Well, what if they’re planning to use it as some kind of…weapon?” Hermione frowned; it wasn’t the word she was looking for but she was still half asleep so it would have to do. “I mean, how do you fight someone who can stay awake for days on end, who doesn’t get tired in endless duels?”
“Yeah, this occurred to me, too, not long after you left actually.” Harry ran his hand through his hair, somehow making it even messier than it usually was in the morning. Ginny sat watching the pair of them, sipping her coffee. She was the least morning person of the lot of them. “I think it’s something we need to consider, and I think we need to try to get the potion made, perfected, and available to the Aurors.”
Hermione and Harry sat discussing the need for the potion to be made, and the possible implications of the fact that it already existed. Ginny began to chip in, as she slowly came round during her second cup of coffee. After a while, they’d said all they could about the matter for the time being and conversation turned a little lighter.
Hermione stayed for breakfast before leaving with a promise she’d see Ginny later that night. The girls were meeting for dinner, and both were looking forward to hearing the details of Ron and Pansy’s date the previous weekend.
In the meantime, though, Hermione wanted to get some chores done, and spend some time making notes in preparation for the meeting on Monday. Chores were, oddly, something Hermione enjoyed. They gave her a sense of calm and control, something she always craved.
The day went quickly and, before Hermione knew it, it was time for her to get ready to meet the girls. It was a fun evening filled with gossip. Pansy and Ron’s date had gone well and they had plans to see each other the following day. Hermione was happy for them both. They were each dear friends to her, and though she’d never have guessed at the match, she wanted them both to be happy. Hopefully they could find that with each other.
That Sunday Hermione arrived at the coffee shop earlier than the week before. She wanted to be there before Lucius, giving him the opportunity to see her and walk away if he wished. She figured it was a good way to gauge his feelings on the matter of their…she wasn’t sure what it was.
She took her order to a seat by the window, making it almost impossible for him to miss her before entering. Hermione had only been seated a few minutes when she saw him coming down the street. He caught her eye through the window, his movements slowing for a second, before continuing into the coffee shop.
Hermione breathed a sigh of relief, she hadn’t, until that point, realised how disappointed she’d have been if he’d turned away. The realisation startled her a little as with it, came the truth of how much she’d anticipated seeing him again. She hadn’t had a chance to ponder this before. Instead of walking straight to the counter, Lucius walked over to her table.
“Miss Granger, I was wondering if I may join you this morning?”
“Of course. But please, I thought we agreed on Hermione.” She looked up at him with a soft smile.
The corner of Lucius’ mouth turned up. “My apologies, Hermione. You are, of course, correct. I will join you in a moment. Are you in need of anything else to drink, or eat, perhaps?”
Now that she thought about it, she found herself with an appetite for her favourite – a chocolate hazelnut croissant. She’d been so intent on seating herself quickly when she arrived that the thought hadn’t even occurred to her. She made her request, and Lucius turned towards the counter, the movement leaving her in a haze of the intoxicating scent he carried with him. What is that?
It seemed to Hermione, as she watched Lucius give their order, that he was a little more at ease today. During their short interaction so far he seemed less uptight, less strained. She found herself unable to look away as he worked his way back towards her through the tables. He deposited his own cup of coffee and two small plates carrying croissants onto their table before putting the tray on an adjacent empty table. Hermione found herself struck by amusement that Lucius Malfoy was serving her food and ducked her head to hide the laugh that was trying to escape. Composing herself she looked up as he took the seat opposite her. “Thank you.”
“You’re quite welcome. I haven’t had one of these before, but they sound quite appealing so I thought I’d give it a try.”
“They’re amazing,” Hermione told him emphatically. Despite her small stature and perfectly trim body, she was most definitely a food lover. As if to enforce her point, she reached and tore off a small piece of croissant, involuntarily closing her eyes and groaning softly as she tasted it. She looked at Lucius and saw him watching her, his eyes ever so slightly widened. “Go on, try it!” She gestured towards plate and watched him repeat her method of tearing off the end before bringing it to his lips, finding herself once again unable to look away from him.
“Yes, I find I must agree, that is indeed rather good.” Lucius imparted a small smile in her direction and Hermione found herself marvelling at how it softened his features.
They ate in silence for a short time, Hermione considering her next words carefully. They seemed to have reached a slightly comfortable state and, while she didn’t want to blow that straight out of the water, she knew she couldn’t deny the questions that were burning inside her.
“I must admit,” she began, steeling herself before continuing, “you’re quite possibly the last person I expected to bump into here the other week.” Hermione left the obvious unspoken; neither of them needed her to point out that it was the fact this coffee shop was in the Muggle world that made it so remarkable.
Lucius leaned back in his chair, taking a deep sigh. He appeared to be resigning himself to the turn of conversation and Hermione got the distinct impression it came as no real surprise to him. It was a few seconds before he spoke. “I think I can safely assume that you’re not referring to the fact that you didn’t expect me to have a penchant for coffee.” Lucius tilted his head slightly and raised his eyebrows, a hint of a smirk playing at his lips.
Hermione huffed a surprised laugh. Good gods, was that a joke? An actual joke from Lucius Malfoy, wonders will never cease. “No, no that is not what I was referring to.” She watched as his expression changed, becoming more serious. His eyes flicked down before raising again to her, seeming to fix her in place.
“As you alluded to the last time we met, I do not often show my face in the wizarding world. But, despite what many may believe, I am, in fact, human. As such I find myself unable to remain in complete solitude. I have found that the Muggle world gives me the opportunity to be around people, while retaining anonymity. An anonymity that is not afforded to me in the wizarding world.” As he spoke, at the greatest length in their conversations so far, he didn’t once break their eye contact.
She glanced away, taking reprieve from his piercing gaze to pick up her coffee and sip slowly and thoughtfully. “How…how did you find it? The Muggle world. I mean, it was obviously a big change for you.” Hermione looked back to him while she spoke.
“I’ll be honest with you Hermione. Obviously, you were there throughout my family’s trials, you already know the story of how my views and beliefs had changed, though I don’t doubt that you have a million questions about it. Your reputation is, after all, very well known to everyone.” He smirked at her knowingly.
“Hmm…I feel your son may be at least partially responsible for your certainty of my inquisitiveness.” Hermione assessed.
“Without a doubt, Hermione. Though rest assured, as I mentioned before, he speaks very highly of you.” Hermione wasn’t in fact concerned; she knew full well that Draco’s ribbing of her ways was only ever done with fondness. “As I was saying, if we may leave your undoubtedly probing questions for the time being, you know about my change of beliefs. What may surprise you to know, is that due to this change, whilst a little…wary…. I found myself quite keen to discover the Muggle world unencumbered by my past prejudices. It has in fact, been an exhilarating experience.”
Well, holy shit. Lucius was right, Hermione was well aware of the facts regarding his change of heart. She hadn’t, however, expected in a million years that he would express anything like the enthusiasm he had for the Muggle world. “Wow. You’re right, that…that is definitely a surprise.” She took a long breath and Lucius nodded. “Am I to take it that you’ve explored the Muggle world beyond this coffee shop then?”
“I have, yes. Though I haven’t yet ventured far, certainly not to anywhere near as many places as I would like. It’s only been a few months since I’ve found myself doing so. It took quite a time to adjust after…my release.” As Lucius spoke the last words, Hermione saw shame flicker over his features. She gave a tight smile of understanding and a silence settled over them both, though it felt comfortable.
A waitress walked over to clear their empty cups and plates, inquiring if they would like anything else.
“Well, I don’t have anywhere to be.” Hermione glanced at Lucius.
“Nor myself.” Lucius agreed before turning back to the waitress. “Please, a refill would be wonderful. Thank you.” The waitress blushed slightly and turned away to get their order. It didn’t surprise Hermione, she’d noticed the way that practically every woman in the coffee shop had eyed Lucius, once again in a perfectly cut suit, and a pale blue shirt with the top button undone. She understood the looks fully and found herself unable to blame the women for them.
“Where do you plan to visit next?”
“I was thinking perhaps, The Bodleian.” Hermione’s eyes lit up in excitement and Lucius smiled slightly at the sight.
“Oh Lucius, you should! It’s the most incredible place.” Hermione gushed.
“You’ve visited it?”
“Oh yes! A few times.” Hermione nodded enthusiastically, a smile lighting up her face. Lucius didn’t immediately respond, instead sipped his coffee thoughtfully.
After a while, he spoke. “There aren’t many things I miss about the manor since it was destroyed but I must confess I miss the library.” Hermione knew that the manor had been razed to the ground after the war, and suddenly a worry gripped her, pulling her from her previous train of thought.
“Oh my Gods, I never thought! What happened to the books?” She leaned forward in her chair, Lucius bestowing on her the first true smile she’d seen on his face. She was struck by the beauty of it, but not enough to be deterred.
“Fear not, the books were all taken from the manor prior to its destruction. Myself, Draco and Narcissa all have personal libraries in our current homes which now accounts for many of them. The rest are safely in storage.”
Hermione slumped in relief. “Oh, thank heavens for that. I was terrified for a moment.” She laughed at herself.
“Rest assured, the Malfoy library is one of the few things that we have always been proud of.” Lucius spoke quietly, the words he left unspoken reaching Hermione nonetheless.
She felt the need to give solace. “Perhaps it is time to take pride in new things, to rebuild. I know Draco has made much headway in doing so.”
“He has indeed. I am immensely proud of him for all he has done, for both himself and the family name. I know I keep to myself, but I’m not unaware of the progress he has made.”
“You know he’s planning a charity gala soon, to raise money for orphans of the war? He’s actually asked me to head up the project.” Hermione spoke brightly, unable to keep the excitement from her voice.
“Ah, yes I knew of his plans, and his asking you to lead them. He came to visit me yesterday afternoon and informed me you’d accepted; he was very pleased. I think you’ll do very well with this project.” Hermione smiled at the unexpected compliment. “He has been trying to convince me to become involved.” Lucius sighed deeply.
“You don’t want to.” Hermione stated.
“Again, I will speak honestly. I’m afraid that my involvement would hinder the work Draco has done already to bring our name back into good standing. I am immensely proud of my son and what he has achieved. He has had…so much damage to undo and he has done so much better than anyone could ever have expected.” Lucius paused, gathering himself before he spoke again. “The damage he has had to undo was entirely my fault; for me to risk that by my presence would be unthinkable.” He looked down at the table intently, as if trying to bore a hole into it with his eyes.
“That’s why, isn’t it?” The realisation washed over Hermione, with it an outpouring of compassion. “You don’t stay isolated to protect yourself, but to protect Draco.”
Slowly Lucius raised his eyes to meet hers. He looked so raw, his eyes filled with shame and remorse. In that moment Hermione felt her heart shatter for the man in front of her. He nodded slowly before speaking. “Yes, that’s why. I can handle what people may throw at me, what they may think of me, but for it to tarnish the reputation that Draco has built, I could never forgive myself.”
Hermione mirrored his slow nod, biting her lip in thought. She knew what she wanted to say, but also knew she had to tread carefully if she wanted her message to be heard. “Do you not think that perhaps Draco has done all he has so that the whole family had a chance for the same redemption that he’s found?”
“He shouldn’t have had to!” Lucius spoke harshly, though Hermione knew it wasn’t aimed at her, not really.
“No, I agree. But that doesn’t, nor will anything, change the facts of the past. We can only look to the future and change that. I know Draco well enough to know that he wants you to be a part of the life he has built.” Lucius was once again looking at the table and not at Hermione, and she found herself reaching towards his hand that rested on the table. Her nerves almost choked her as she reached out, but she wasn’t a Gryffindor for nothing; nervous or not, she continued her quest, gently placing her fingers over his own.
Lucius tensed in shock, and it took every bit of Hermione’s resolve not to pull her hand away in fear that he was revolted by the contact. She reminded herself of all she now knew about him; he was no longer the prejudiced man of his previous years. It didn’t take her long after this reminder to herself to realise that his shock was more likely due to the undoubtedly little human contact, let alone affection, that he had in his life. The thought made her want to get up and wrap him in her arms. Yeah, let’s not get carried away.
Gradually she felt him relax. She didn’t move, or speak, just waited. She found herself having to resist the urge to stroke her fingers across his, marvelling at how warm and soft they felt. She resolutely ensured she didn’t move, almost in the way someone may try to avoid scaring a cornered animal.
Eventually he spoke, his voice almost a whisper. “But what if I ruin it? What if I ruin him?”
No more could Hermione resist her natural instinct and she curled her fingers around his hand, squeezing gently. “I can’t guarantee it would be easy or run entirely smoothly. It would be naïve to think that would be the case. But I do believe that in time, the world would accept you again, as they have Draco. In the meantime, he is strong! He can handle a few bumps in the road. As I said, I believe he’s done all he has for his family as much as for himself. He worries about you, and the only way he will truly be fulfilled is if you are a part of that life with him.”
Slowly, Lucius’ hand curled to wrap his fingers around Hermione’s. She thought it quite possible that her heart may have stopped beating for a second, before continuing with renewed force.
He raised his eyes to her once more. “Perhaps…perhaps you are right. Maybe it is time.”
Hermione smiled softly at him before raising an eyebrow. “I’m sure Draco has mentioned that I do have a tendency to be right.” Her smile turned into a teasing smirk. Lucius huffed a small laugh in return.
“Yes, he may have complained about it once or twice.” Lucius drawled, more reminiscent of his usual self.
It occurred to Hermione that their hands were still joined. She squeezed softly again, her face becoming more serious. “I know your fear is for Draco, not yourself. But I also know it won’t have escaped your attention that it won’t be entirely pleasant or easy for you.”
“No, it hasn’t escaped my attention.” Lucius agreed. “While it is far from my primary concern, that doesn’t mean it’s not a concern to some extent.”
“Well just know that you don’t have to face it alone. The support is there. If you want it.” Hermione looked firmly into his eyes as spoke and knew he understood it to be an offer of her own support.
“Yes, astoundingly, I believe it is.” Lucius looked at her with wonder, and if Hermione didn’t know better, a measure of fear.
With a smile and a final squeeze, Hermione withdrew her hand. She really did have nowhere to be, as she’d not committed to seeing the Weasley’s that afternoon, in part due to her desire to make plans for the meeting the following day, but also because she hadn’t wished to be limited on time had Lucius appeared today. However, she sensed it was time to leave him to his thoughts.
“I should probably go. I have some notes I want to finish working on before the meeting tomorrow,” she told Lucius.
“It’s very little surprise Draco wanted you to help him with this, as diligent as you are.” Lucius had taken the moments in which she spoke to return himself to his usual calm manner.
Hermione smiled as she stood. “Thank you for the coffee and croissant. The meeting is at 9 tomorrow, hopefully I’ll see you there.” She looked at him pointedly.
“You are most welcome, Hermione. I shall consider it.”
With that, she left, taking a huge breath as she stepped out onto the street. Refusing to look back, no matter how much she wanted to, knowing she’d be able to see him through the window.