Well That Wasn't Unexpected
INT. GREAT HALL, HOGWARTS - Night
(a dining hall that’s colossal, the first’s eyes widened as they stepped through the ginormous door. It was very crowded.SCORPIUS was beside ALBUS)
SCORPIUS:(whisper to ALBUS) so this is it, huh?
ALBUS: I guess… (He says hesitantly)
SCORPIUS: (still in awe) Mum did not lie about this place.
ALBUS: Impressive isn’t it?
Harry, Hermione and Ron chuckled. “He looks so much like little Ginny when she first came to Hogwarts.” Ron said. Ginny blushed slightly.
MCGONAGALL: Welcome to Hogwarts. The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory and spend free time in your house common room.
MCGONAGALL: The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin.
(She looks directly at SCORPIUS and ALBUS)
Each house has its own noble history, and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rule-breaking will lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the House Cup, a great honour. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever house becomes yours.
MCGONAGALL: Let the sorting commence! (she announces and the hall erupts into cheers and clapping, the SORTING HAT comes into view.)
MCGONAGALL: Rose Granger-Weasley.
SORTING HAT:
I’ve done this job for centuries
On every student’s head I’ve sat
Of thoughts I take inventories
For I’m the famous Sorting Hat.
I’ve sorted high, I’ve sorted low,
I’ve done the job through thick and thin
So put me on and you will know
Which house you should be in . . .
Rose Granger-Weasley.
(He puts his hat on ROSE’s head.)
RAVENCLAW!
(There’s cheering from the Ravenclaw as ROSE joins them.)
People start clapping as if it’s built into their brains. It takes a minute before they become silent.
“Why did we all start clapping for something on a screen?” Karl Jenkins said.
“Old habits die hard I guess.” Hermione embarrassingly rubs her neck.
“Good Job, Rosey,” Ron said and ruffles his daughter’s hair.
“Thanks Dad.”
MCGONAGALL: Scorpius Malfoy.
(he walks up with the confidence of a Malfoy, he wouldn’t mind any house as long as it’s true to his heart. she places the hat on his head for a moment but after a few seconds it says)
SORTING HAT: SLYTHERIN
(the Slytherin table cheers and a lot of hand-shaking happens)
MCGONAGALL: Albus Potter
(ALBUS walks up unsure, and hesitant. He doesn’t want to screw this up. MCGONAGALL places the hat on his head and it takes a good five minutes to sort.)
SORTING HAT: SLYTHERIN
(the people are silent for a minute, but after that, ROSE WEASLEY and JAMES SIRIUS POTTER start cheering, followed by the whole hall. The tension eases out of his shoulders.)
ALBUS: (walks up to the Slytherin table, chats with the prefects and students and takes a seat.) Hi.
SCORPIUS: Hello. (he takes a breath) So Slytherin, huh?
ALBUS: Yeah.
(the scene fades to black and changes to the Slytherin Common Room)
SLYTHERIN COMMON ROOM
(the dungeons are dark and cold and damp, but as soon as they enter through the serpentine statue the common room comes into view, with each step inside the torches all light up one by one with green flames. The mermaids and the giant squid are seen swimming above them and the first years’ are in awe. The room had changed from its past decor, now sporting green and black bean bag chairs, several sofa’s and the walls lined with books or antique objects. It gives the room a gothic yet homey feel.)
“Holy Shit, Al, that looks like a fucking palace.” Lily said, jealous of her brother’s common room. “And what do we have, a goddang scrabble board?”
“We also have Jenga and Chess and Exploding Snap and—” Albus starts but gets cut off by his prefect, .
“Slytherins don’t reveal all our information,” she looks at him and then back at Lily, “But we do have bi-annual parties.” A and S looked slightly disheartened at that. The younger detectives did not miss this. What was that about?
Albus writes a message to the giant versions of themselves.
Albus: What happened at the party
A: Year 5
They didn’t elaborate. Albus and Scorpius didn’t ask. They didn’t want to know.
ALBUS: Okay, I can get used to this. (he flops onto a beanbag chair.)
SCORPIUS: I agree (he positions himself on an opposite beanbag.)
HEAD GIRL: Now that you’re all here, let’s set the ground rules… (She trails off and the screen fades to black, with SCORPIUS and ALBUS smirking at the camera)’
"That was uneventful." Lily mutters boredly.
"Well, what d'you expect them to do, solve the crime?" Hermione said with a laugh.
The four detectives have to bite their lips to stop them from laughing. But Albus slips up. "What? it's funny." They practically threw caution out the fucking window, it was time to have fun and mess with their parents.
"And why is it funny?" Harry asks.
"Just the prospect of us, a bunch of irresponsible teenagers finding and solving a murder." Scorpius snickered. And the two older versions of themselves burst out laughing. Scorpius and Albus also fell into laughter, A falling off of the sofa and needing to be pulled up by S.
"Okay, let's continue, Albus said. Draco was observing them, and there were visible similarities between Scorpius and the blond 19-year-old which walked in. And he thinks he knows why.
"Wait, I'd like to talk to you four," he said. Looking directly at the older blond boy.
"I don't think we're allowed to do that Da—Fath—Mr. Malfoy." S said, his friend slaps his arm when he slips up. S had to rub his arm hard after that.
"No, I request it." He narrows his eyes. Scorpius, Albus, A and S look at each other. S huffs a breath.
"Fine. We'll be back in a second, let's take a break for 20 minutes." Albus announces when he notices his Scorpius look, slightly alarmed. Scorpius didn't tell his father for one reason and one reason only. After his mum died, his father became a shell of himself, and Scorpius also became distant.
It was the whole reason why he chose to solve the First Five murder. The killer didn't care who he killed, as long as they had some connection to the Wizarding World, but were muggles. He needed a vice to save himself from himself. And it didn't help that the killer decided to kill a mother of two as the first to die.
Now as they were walking down to an abandoned corridor, a loud noise could echo through the castle here, the walls lined in rosewood and brick, the beams on the ceiling a dark charcoal colour. His heart was pounding in his chest, he was sure Al could hear it because he said in whispered tones so that only he could hear, "Hey Sherlock, you alright?" Scorpius waved him off.
No, Scorpius was not fine, he knew it, Al knew it and he had a feeling his future self also felt it.
It was probably the guilt of leaving his father alone if he'd made a reckless mistake or the sadness or the anger or the simple feeling of numbness which was filling his lungs like he was drowning, the only reason he didn't let go was his best-friend.
Albus saw him self-destructing, he simply held his hand. They were in this together. Scorpius had come to understand this early on.
You literally could not separate them, no matter how bad of a fight they had, no matter how many times Albus wanted to strangle him and no matter how many times Scorpius wanted to cast a mouth locking charm on him. They wouldn't stop fighting in each other's corner. Haron Daws was being transphobic toward Albus, somehow he found slugs and leeches in his shower after Quidditch practice. Daisy Hopman said something about Scorpius's family, she somehow had a bucket of pigs-blood dropped on her head, mid-supper, she couldn't get the smell out for months.
"Scorpius,” his dad’s voice broke him out of his line of thoughts, “I didn't call you here to reprimand you, I just want to know if it was true." Draco said, in the Sad Dad™ voice. Scorpius steels himself.
"We can't tell you the truth, you're going to have to find out." Scorpius said.
"Scorpius, are you the Agency?" he asks, strained.
"Dad it's just a few more scenes, please, you'll understand more that way." S said, finally slipping up.
"Scorpius!" A reprimanded him.
"Sorry, Al. I forgot." The younger Albus and Scorpius face-palm.
"how do you guys even—" Albus starts but Scorpius slaps a hand on his mouth.
"You're giving us a bad look," he says through gritted teeth. Draco felt like he was not even existing in their conversation.
"Fine then, Scorpius, Albus, Future Scorpius, Future Albus." He turned and walked away. And after a moment of silence they too ran back to the Hall, which was now having a self-serve banquet with chips, crisps, coffee, tea and other snacks. Two shawarmas dropped into A and S's hands, they almost dropped them. S looked like he wanted to cry.
"You know, Sherlock, at times I think you like those shawarmas more than me."
"Yes, I do." S said, taking a bite of his shawarma, Albus looked like he was going to shoot him or strangle him. "I like shawarmas more than you, but I love you more than shawarmas." he leaned in to kiss A but he backed away and almost made S trip over his own feet. A, smirking like a bastard, walked back to where the bite-sized version of himself was. S deserved it, though.
Mini-Scorpius walked up to him and tugged on his shirt. "Hey." S said.
"I have one question and one question only. How" he paused like he was trying the articulate a formal sentence, "the fuck did we finally start dating him??
"Ohhh! Fuck if I know dude, I just go ahead with whatever he says."
"But that's what I always do!" He bemoaned.
"Well, I can't help you there now buddy!" S chirped and walked over to his boyfriend, he noticed Mini-Albus staring at him as he approached, he waved to him, and to his surprise Mini-Albus blushed violently, looked angrily at him and walked away to his current-friend.
"What was that about?" S asked his Albus. Who chuckled in a you-are-a-lovable-idiot kind of way. Scorpius finished his shawarma, crumpled the wrapper.
"He has a crush on you, Smartass." Al said. "How the fuck are you even a detective?"
"Hey! I had a crush on you since year 3, you couldn't even notice that." Scorpius said defensively, arms folded. Al opened his mouth to respond but saw something in the corner of his eye and got distracted. "What?"
"Look at them," he pointed towards the bite-sized versions of themselves. He looked in amusement, Mini-Scorpius had a cup of Hot-Chocolate and was talking animatedly to Albus who sneakily took away his cup before it spilled and looked enticed at him. Listening to every word and speaking up every time it was required. "I think I understand why the entire school betted on us dating before we turned sixteen. We looked so..." he paused, smiling bittersweetly.
"Free?" S offered.
"Yeah. Free." he paused for a moment, "Look at Little-Me's eyes, he's in love." he said.
"I still don't get how that happened, I mean I was a rambling idiot." He said, looking at his oblivious self.
"Hey! Only I get to call you that." He said, lightly smacking his shoulder. But then leans up to kiss S's cheek, "And you are the smartest man I know. Don't ever forget that."
"Yeah, yeah." Scorpius blushed and offered his arm to the brunette.
"Such a gentleman too." Al interlinked their arms and walked back to their sofa. The next scene was starting.