Chapter 1
The rain had thickened generously by the time Sirius had blindly stumbled into one of the shops on the side of the road. His hair hung low from the water, almost completely blocking his line of sight, and he shuddered as another biting gust of wind assaulted the back of his neck, before he quickly closed the door of the shop behind him.
Trust him to get lost in an unfamiliar town on the one day that Hell had decided to make the weather more exciting than light cloud. He knows he should be pretty immune to British weather with nearly 10 years of exposure to it, especially always having an odd soft spot for watching the way the rain dances through the murky air, but after a month of university, his car breaking down, and getting lost in this tacky, antique-looking town, Sirius wasn’t in the mood for a fucking hurricane.
He pushed his sodden strands of hair out of his eyes to see if he had at least found somewhere nice to wait out the storm, perhaps a small café or a pub, but-
Fuck.
Fuck.
As if his day couldn’t get any worse, he was in a fucking bookshop.
Don’t get him wrong, the books themselves were great, although the only books he had read in the past 3 years were textbooks for school, but it was the bookshops that pissed him off. Full of pretentious twats who think they are socially superior to you because they spend their free time looking at words on a page for fun. For fun. Sirius couldn’t wrap his head around it, and with his loose t-shirt and black skinny jeans he felt like he would be judged either way, so it was only fair if he judged them back. It was logical.
He had his reasons, even if he was generalising; the last time he went into a bookshop, wanting to fulfil a new, small glowing passion for romance novels, he was told by some old woman that ‘his kind’ wasn’t welcome there as he quietly observed the shelf. After quickly brushing it off and setting home with his book, his mother had ripped it out of his hands as soon as she had seen what it was, and muttered words that Sirius had completely pushed from his mind, probably something about being a shameful disappointment as she usually did, as she burned it on the fireplace. He had mastered masking his face with a cold stare, but he had never felt so many emotions at once, and since then had sworn to never enter a bookshop again, even if it meant sacrificing his secret passion.
Quite frankly, Sirius was terrified to be here.
Taking in his surroundings, it seemed the quaint shop was empty, and Sirius breathed a gentle sigh of relief that he didn’t realise he was holding. He didn’t get insecure often, but considering his current state, it was relaxing to know there weren’t any prying, judgmental eyes watching him. Since there was no one in the small shop, he could appreciate the warmth it radiated as it washed through him, and he began to look around. He was going to be here for a while to sit out the storm, so it didn’t hurt to check it out, and it might distract him from his panicked state of mind for a while.
The shop was lit with an orange tinted light on the ceiling, however the counter to the right and towering bookshelves throughout the shop were all encased in twirling and twisting fairy lights, emitting a much lighter yellow light, a sense of comfort blanketing the room from them. Sirius quietly trudged to the left along the carpeted floor, through the maze of bookshelves and shadows to the very side of the shop, where a plush couch sat solemnly under a grand window that looked straight into some trees and overgrown wildflowers. A low fog hung around the greenery and the sky was darkened almost completely, as the rain pattered against the glass, reflecting soft glows of light across Sirius’ face. It was the epitome of peace, until the moment was suddenly broken by the soft noise of someone awkwardly clearing their throat behind him.
Sirius instantly spun around, alarmed at the sound, the wavy pieces of hair that had begun to dry sweeping into his eyes, only to see a taller man standing a few feet away from him. He had his hands clasped shyly in front of him with a small smile, tilting his head slightly at Sirius’ sudden and quick reaction. He had dusty blonde curls that framed his head like a crown, a few stray pieces tucked behind his ears, or simply hanging in his line of sight. Although tall, his build was frail and his porcelain skin danced with shadows from the multiple fairy lights hanging on the bookshelf he was leaning on. He was dressed in a work apron, but underneath he had a dark green knitted sweater that seemed to make him look even smaller, hanging loosely off of his angled shoulders.
Sirius stood frozen, staring at the man before him, the silence stretching between them. It was an unacceptable amount of time for two people to stare at each other, but Sirius made no move to initiate a conversation; he was half expecting the other to scoff at his state and kick him out of the shop into the relentless, pouring rain. After a moment, the man seemed to catch on to Sirius’ nervousness and pushed himself up from the shelf he was leaning against, but when he spoke, uncertainty still laced his tone.
“Sorry if I scared you.” He said gently. His voice was deeper than Sirius had expected, but there was comfort in the way he spoke, and he let down his guard slightly. The shyness was odd to Sirius, but the way the man fiddled with the hem of his knitted jumper and diverted his eyes as he waited for a reply caused a subtle wave of emotion to hit Sirius. He couldn’t quite place what it was, but he wondered if perhaps the man wasn’t one of those pretentious twats, and he could almost feel their mutual anxiety collide and coil together.
Sirius could feel his own hands shaking as he mindlessly held them together, only just realising how anxious he really felt. The comfortable ambience of the room helped, but he could still feel a slight weight on his chest as he flitted his eyes along different parts of the carpet. His vision was slightly blurred as he pulled a shaky hand through his hair, refusing to have a panic attack in front of a stranger as he composed himself. What had become of him? Popular, nonchalant Sirius Black who thrived off of meeting new people and adrenaline had been whittled down to an anxious wreck who was standing in a bookshop unable to form a sentence in front of a stranger.
Although the shaking refused to subside, Sirius finally looked up after composing his thoughts and searched for something to say to the expectant man, who was now tidying the bookshelf that he was previously leaning on, quite obviously trying to look busy whilst he waited for Sirius to say something.
Sirius almost smiled at the sight. Almost.
“Sorry I got your carpet wet.” Sirius half-joked, pushing the hair out of his eyes and looking up from the floor, now having more composure. The man's head turned back toward him, an element of surprise washing across his features; it was quite adorable the way his eyes lit up and mouth parted ever so slightly. Sirius assumed he hadn’t been expecting a reply, and took the quick moment to observe the man more closely. His lips were bitten red, and his hands were decorated with multiple rings that had different coloured stones in them, clinging onto his slender fingers with their greens and blues. His eyes were all the colours of warm, amber fire; deep brown swirls reflecting the fairy lights.
“It’s ok, I’m sure it will dry in no time.” He replied with a soft smile. Sirius couldn’t help but to return it, before looking down at his feet uncomfortably, with anxiety still curling in his stomach. Something about the man and this place comforted Sirius, and it scared him a lot. With a moment to focus on himself again, Sirius remembered the fact that he was still standing by the window, soaked to the skin with rain water, and as if on cue, an icy shiver coiled through his body, to the very tips of his fingers and toes. Unlike before, there was nothing subtle about the way his body shuddered in an uncontrollable manner, and he could see the concerned look the man gave him.
“It’s pretty rough out there mate, you should probably dry off. We have towels out back.” The man said, his tone full of sincerity, and Sirius almost wished it wasn’t so he had a reason to hate this sexy bookshop man.
“I’m fine, thank you.” Sirius said to him, his usual manner coming back to him as he crossed his arms defensively. He didn’t need some random guy taking care of him anyway. However, his own body betrayed him as another shiver coiled through him, this one knocking some of the breath out of him. Although still concerned, the man's eyes sparkled with amusement, and he smirked at Sirius as he looked at him from the bookshelf. If the biting cold hadn’t done it already, the wind was fully knocked out of Sirius as he schooled his features to a glare.
The universe really fucking hated him right now.
“Well, no offence, but you don’t look fine, so I’m going to get towels whether you like it or not.” He chuckled, and like that, he disappeared into the void of shadows and books.
Sirius didn’t know what to do. He stood frozen to the spot whilst his mind raced at a million miles an hour, shaking from the cold, or perhaps from the panic he felt in his chest. There was no doubt this man was filled with kindness and warmth, but Sirius wanted to run, get out of this stupidly comforting shop and go about his life before this had ever happened. It would’ve been so much easier to get back to school, go up to his dorm (which thankfully, he didn’t have to share with James for their final year), and go to sleep without a care in the world.
But no, the universe had other plans, and Sirius hated it.
With the weight of exhaustion taking over, he sat heavily on the couch, not caring about the water he spread onto the cushions. His eyes were slipping closed, until mercilessly, he remembered that tomorrow he had a written exam in Classics, which tonight, he had designated for studying.
The man walked in just as Sirius shot up off of the couch, now too far gone to attempt at controlling his whirring mind. He began pacing frantically and looking around as if the walls of the bookshop would tell him what to do. Sirius barely even registered the man’s voice saying something along the lines of “Hey, are you ok? Mate what is-“
Sirius shot around when the man grabbed onto his wrist and hastily pulled away, but locking eyes with the man and his shocked expression, Sirius remembered that this was a fucking STRANGER and he should probably not have a complete meltdown in this shop. He took a deep breath and rubbed his hand roughly over his face, almost feeling embarrassed at the state he was in.
“Fuck I’m so sorry, it's just- I have an exam tomorrow- I was meant to study tonight- my car- I’m stuck here- I can’t-“ He gasped out, until the man cut him off, and holding onto Sirius’ elbows he sat them down on the couch together. Surprisingly, Sirius felt no urge to pull away and let himself be sat.
“Stop.” He said sternly, but his tone was caring and gentle. He was staring directly into Sirius’ eyes, and Sirius could count the freckles on the man's skin, but he could also see faint scars scattered across his eyes and cheeks. Before he could ponder over them, the man spoke again, with a smile in his voice.
“Breathe. You are in a bookshop where, funnily enough, there are books, so if you tell me what you need to study for then I’m sure something useful will be here.”
Despite his state, Sirius found himself chuckling along with the man with his head bowed and felt his erratic breathing match the man’s, and when he looked back up, the man was looking at him with a small smile playing on his lips, and no longer like Sirius was some sort of wild animal.
After a moment, the man’s eyes lit up and he seemed to remember something, before reaching down and handing Sirius a large towel, and accepting it gratefully, Sirius wrapped it around his shoulders and let himself be engulfed in the warmth. However, before he could get too comfy, the man reached behind himself to pass Sirius something else. It was a large blue knitted sweater, black joggers, fluffy socks and underwear all folded into a small pile. Sirius took them cautiously and gave the man a quizzical look, but the man’s expression was unreadable.
“Your clothes are wet.” He said simply, as if that explained everything. The way the man was looking at him made his stomach do a weird flip, but before Sirius could say anything, he stood up and walked towards the stairs in the corner of the shop. When the man reached them he turned around, face cascaded in shadows, and called across to Sirius who was frozen on the sofa, still holding onto the clothes.
“Once you have changed you can come and find me up here.” He said with a small smile, but his expression was still unreadable, and he paused for a moment as if he wanted to say something more.
“My name is Remus by the way.” He said finally, before disappearing into the darkness upstairs and leaving Sirius absolutely speechless.