all these people think love's for show (but i would die for you in secret)

It was a beautiful day, the end of September leaving the Hogwarts grounds warm with sunshine. Due to the “unfortunate” Potions incident that took place during the second year Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw class, the sixth year Slytherin and Gryffindor Potions class had been cancelled for the day. With the unexpected free period added into their schedule, Mary, Dorcas, Marlene, and Lily found themselves sitting along the Great Lake, watching in amusement as the Giant Squid continued to float to the surface and dive back down.

“Potter, Black, and Pettigrew may be idiots, but at least they got us out of class with Sluggy,” Mary said offhandedly, leaning her back against a tree with her legs outstretched in front of her.

“You don’t know they had anything to do with it,” Lily defended. The defense was weak, however, because all that was known about the incident was that a few potion ingredients had been mysteriously switched around, resulting in cauldron after cauldron to explode and leave a huge mess in the dungeons.

“Lily Evans defending those boys for once?! What is in the air today?” Marlene replied, a teasing tone in her voice as she raised an eyebrow. “Come on, Lils, you’re smart enough to know that this has their names written all over it.”

“Well, maybe they had a good reason!” Lily defended again.

“What could possibly be a good reason for causing an explosion in the Potions classroom?” Dorcas spoke up, laying on her stomach in the grass. “If you don’t remember, Lily, I sleep in the dungeons. I’ll have to smell whatever stench that leaves behind.”

“Well-” Lily started, scrambling to think of an excuse. “I overheard Potter saying Remus was feeling ill again. Maybe they didn’t want him to miss class this early in the term! We all know that if you fall behind in September, there’s no hope of catching up.”

Of course, Lily knew the real reason Remus was ill, and it was the same reason why James, Sirius, and Peter were currently asleep in their dorm. She had figured out by their third year that Remus was a werewolf, and she finally confronted him about it before the holiday break of their fourth year. She would spend the rest of her life defending that boy if she had to.

“Like I said, as long as we don’t have to go to Potions, I won’t complain,” Mary said.

“Speaking of Potter,” Marlene said with a mischievous smirk. “What do you all think about him and Regulus?”

“Whatever keeps Potter from fancying me any more than he already does, I’m good with,” Lily said, leaning back against the grass next to Dorcas.

“I’m actually kind of surprised, I guess,” Dorcas added.

“What do you mean?” Lily asked, turning her head to look at Dorcas.

“Well, I know Regulus,” Dorcas explained. “James doesn’t seem like his type, you know? Regulus is significantly less annoying than Potter.”

“I think they balance each other out, really,” Mary added and shrugged. “You know how they say opposites attract and all. Like, sure, James can be a bit much sometimes, but I think Regulus might bring out the best in him.”

“And maybe James can get Regulus to take things a little less seriously from time to time,” Marlene cut in.

It was at that exact moment that James decided to walk up behind the group of girls, rubbing at his tired eyes. “Good morning, ladies. What are we talking about?” he asked.

“You,” Marlene said bluntly.

“Can’t get enough of me, huh?” James replied with a smirk, sitting down criss crossed on the grass beside the girls.

“We’re talking about you and Regulus, you fucking narcissist,” Marlene replied and rolled her eyes before throwing her discarded quill at him.

“What about me and Regulus?” he asked, yawning. James was still barely awake, as he was never able to get much sleep following the night of the full moon, especially the days Remus had to spend the night in the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey rarely allowed the three boys to visit Remus when he was there because they were a disturbance, whatever that was supposed to mean.

“About how we can’t seem to figure out how Regulus agreed to date you,” Marlene said pointedly. The last thing they needed was for James to already blow their cover.

It took a few moments before it fully clicked for James, but when he did, he sent Marlene a lopsided grin. “Guess I’m just irresistible, eh?” he replied, then turning to Lily. “Sorry I’m off the market, Evans. If you need to join a support group, I think Minnie might be starting one. She won’t admit it, but the poor woman is heartbroken.”

“A tragedy, truly,” Lily said sarcastically, her tone flat. “So what did you do then? Bribe him?”

“I’ll have you know, I’m actually a very amazing boyfriend,” James explained. “Regulus was obviously charmed by my incredibly handsome looks and my fantastic personality. I don’t blame him, really.”

“You are unbelievable. I honestly didn’t think your head could get any bigger, but here we are,” Dorcas cut in, shaking her head and letting out a short laugh.

“Moony says that every day,” James grinned.

“Yeah, we can see why. He’s the only one of you four with a brain,” Lily added.

James rolled his eyes playfully before he started to stand up. “One day you’ll see the light, Evans,” he said. “Anyway, I have to go wake up Sirius and Peter for Transfiguration. Pray for me, please.”

“Have fun with McGonagall. I have another free,” Dorcas bragged.

“Way to brag, love,” Marlene said before she leaned over to give Dorcas a kiss, standing up afterward. “Come on, we’ve got to come up with a good excuse to tell McGonagall why those idiots are late.”

Marlene, Mary, Lily, and James all walked back up to the castle, and they went their separate ways when they reached the enchanted staircases. While the girls made their way towards the Transfiguration classroom, James headed towards Gryffindor tower to wake up his friends. Along the way, James ran into Regulus in the corridor. Had it been even two weeks before, James would have done nothing more than, maybe, throw a small smile towards his best friend’s brother, but now, everything had changed.

“Hey,” James said, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand, his other hand holding onto his textbook.

“Hey,” Regulus responded and then asked, “What are you doing up here? I mean, I thought you had class now.”

“There was, uh, an incident in the Potions classroom,” James explained, letting out a nervous laugh. “We had a free period but now I’m on my way to my dorm. Peter and Sirius decided to nap, so now I’m waking them up for Transfiguration.”

“Cool. Well, I’ll see you later,” Regulus said with a slight questioning tone in his voice.

“Yeah, yeah… see you later,” James replied and gave Regulus a nod before he continued on his way to Gryffindor tower.

“That was horrible, Prongs,” said a voice from behind James.

James jumped a little, unaware that there was another person in his vicinity in the first place. “What the hell are you doing out of the hospital wing?” he asked Remus, hands on his hips.

“Pomfrey let me go early. Said I needed to rest in the dorm for the rest of the day, though,” Remus replied, shrugging. “Anyway, back to what I was saying about you and Regulus. You have got to spend some more time with him. There’s no way you’d convince anyone you were really together with a performance like that.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” James replied.

“James, that was probably the worst interaction I have ever seen in my entire life,” Remus said.

“And you say Sirius is dramatic!” James pointed out.

“If you’re going to make this relationship convincing, you have to be comfortable having a conversation alone,” Remus added.

Before James had a chance to reply, they were in front of the portrait, and Remus was saying the password to enter the tower. He knew Remus was right. If they were going to fool anyone, Sirius especially, he and Regulus had to become more comfortable with each other. And that meant spending a lot more time together. Now, however, was not the time to speak with Regulus regarding the difficulties in their relationship. The last thing James needed was a detention from Professor McGonagall for being late to class.

As Remus made his way to his bed to sleep off the effects of the full moon from the night before, James got to work on waking up Sirius and Peter. This task never really came easily, but it was almost as if James had just taken three doses of the Felix Felicis potion, because the two only took a short period of time to wake up.

Transfiguration, normally James’ favorite and best class, dragged on and on. As he attempted to listen to Professor McGonagall’s lecture, his brain kept wandering to the conversation that needed to be had with Regulus. More than once in that class period, James had lost Gryffindor house points when their professor attempted to get his attention, only to be unsuccessful. James’ brain was unable to focus, his best friend’s younger brother taking up every corner of his mind.

“What’s the matter, Prongs?” Sirius asked as they packed up their class supplies at the end of class.

“Nothing’s the matter,” James said, sending Sirius a grin. “Mind just wasn’t in it today, I guess. I didn’t get much sleep last night like you and Wormy. Somebody had to make sure you two made it to class on time.”

“You sure you’re okay?” Sirius asked, putting a hand on James’ shoulder. “I’m not mad at you, you know that, right?”

“I’ve never been better!” James said, grinning. “Come on, let’s go check on Moony.”

Sirius threw one last glance at James’ grinning face before he turned back to finish gathering his things. “Yeah, let’s go. I wanted to see him before lunch,” he agreed.

The two left the Transfiguration classroom and started the walk down the corridors towards Gryffindor tower. Along the way, James caught sight of Regulus walking towards the Great Hall for lunch. “You go ahead,” James said to Sirius. “I just want to catch up with Reg really quickly.”

Before Sirius could respond, James had walked off to talk to his “boyfriend.” The conversation he had with Remus previously in the day was still at the forefront of his mind.

“Hey,” James said, falling into step with Regulus. “I was thinking, do you want to have lunch outside? It’s pretty nice out there today,” he said, offhandedly.

Regulus looked at James for a second before realization clicked in his mind. “Yeah, sure. That sounds good to me,” Regulus replied.

The two changed the direction that they were walking, and instead of sitting at their respective house tables, they walked out the main entrance towards the grounds.

“I wanted to talk to you,” James said to Regulus after they found somewhere to sit.

“About what?” Regulus asked, glancing at James.

“This,” James replied, simply.

“Oh. Yeah, that. What’s up?” Regulus said.

“I just think it might be good if we got to know more about each other. Like, set boundaries and stuff like that.” James said. “I mean, if we’re dating, it should at least be realistic, right?”

“Hm,” Regulus hummed. It had never occurred to him that James Potter was this considerate of other people’s feelings. From his perspective, James was always seen being stupid with his friends, or making a fool out of himself in front of Lily Evans, or messing with Slytherins. This was a different side of James. “Yeah, I think you’re right.”

“So, I don’t know, is there anything you’re not comfortable with?” James asked.

“I don’t think we’ll have to go too far to convince anybody in public, so I think I’ll be okay, like, holding hands or kissing, I guess,” he replied. The conversation felt naive, almost humiliating, and it was extremely awkward. Regulus would rather die than have this conversation with James Potter.

“Okay, cool. Me too,” James said and smiled at him. “You could always start coming around more, too, if you wanted,“ James suggested. “I think we need to spend more time together. Next weekend we’re going to Hogsmeade. Do you want to double date with Sirius and Remus?”

Regulus nodded in response. “Yeah, we can do that,” he agreed.

“Great!” James replied, grinning. “Anway, sorry about the smell in the dungeons,” James said, a smirk on his face. “Didn’t take into account that my boyfriend has to live down there.”

“Of course that was you,” Regulus said sarcastically and shook his head. “You will never grow up.”

“Hey! I am very grown up, thank you very much.” James said, faux offense lacing his voice.

“I’ll believe it when I see it, Potter,” Regulus said, rolling his eyes. Despite his, admittedly fake, annoyance, a small smile graced his face.

The two fell into a separate conversation and took the time to get to know each other better for the rest of the lunch period and on their way back to the castle. Regulus realized that before this, he knew close to nothing about James. He thought the only thing they had in common was Sirius. Now, he saw James in a different light, and it felt refreshing.

The conversation continued as Regulus and James wandered around the grounds and back up to the castle, finally running into Sirius as they entered the Great Hall.

“I’ve been looking all over for you, Prongs! I checked on Moony, he’s doing fine. He’s just going to rest for the rest of the day, he said,” Sirius said.

“So what made checking on Moony take almost an hour?” James asked, a smirk on his face and a raised eyebrow.

“Anyway!” Sirius said, turning towards Regulus. “Reg, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Regulus said, then glancing at James. “I’ll see you later, then?”

James leaned in, leaving a short kiss on Regulus’ cheek. “Yeah, I’ll see you later,” he said, giving Regulus a smile. “Oi, McKinnon, wait up!” James spotted her towards the head of the Great Hall, jogging to catch up with her.

“First James, now you. Why does everyone need to have a conversation with me today?” Regulus questioned.

Sirius scowled at him and replied, “I was just going to check on you, but damn, I guess I’ll go fuck myself now.”

“You have a boyfriend for that. Now, please, get on with it.”

“How are things going? With you and James?” Sirius asked, and he looked pretty genuine.

“Fine,” he said. “We haven’t been… dating for very long, so I think it’s going pretty well so far.”

“I still think it’s weird,” Sirius said. He wouldn’t ever be angry at James or Regulus for this, but he was still unsure about the entire situation. “How did it even happen?”

“I mean, I don’t know, Sirius. You know James better than anyone,” he said. “You know how he is, he’s a… good guy. I always kinda— I don’t know, I kinda had a crush on him for a while. I just didn’t know he felt the same way,” Regulus lied. “I like him.”

I like him. It wasn’t a lie. Regulus always felt indifference towards James Potter, if not envious of the relationship James had with Sirius. Sometimes he might have felt angry about the way James and Sirius treated Severus Snape or the other Slytherins, but James Potter wasn’t the type of person anyone could hate. James Potter wasn’t a bad person.

"Well," Sirius said, sighing. "You're happy then?"

"What?" Regulus asked, being dragged out of thought.

"Are you happy?" Sirius repeated.

A sliver of Regulus felt incredibly guilty for lying to his brother. He began to question whether or not these few moments of smug satisfaction in pranking Sirius were worth the built-up, guilty conscience glooming over his head. Sirius was trying to make amends, and Regulus was well aware of that. After everything, after what happened less than a year ago, was taking a chance of ruining everything once more worth it?

"Yes."

It would have to be worth it.

“Good,” Sirius said with a nod. “If you’re happy, I’m happy. And we’re good too, right?”

“Of course we are, Sirius. I don’t think we’ll ever be not good.” Regulus said. He stayed silent for a moment, weighing the words he wanted to say. “You’re my brother, no matter what.”

“Wanna come back to the common room to hang out with us?” Sirius asked and smiled at his brother.

“I actually have plans to study with Sev, but next time?” Regulus suggested.

Sirius scrunched his nose up in disgust. “Ugh, Snivellus. I still don’t know why you spend time with him, Reg.”

“Oh, come on, Sirius. He’s my friend,” Regulus said. “He’s really not a bad person.”

“Have you not met the bloke, Reg?” Sirius asked. “Always in a foul mood.”

“Wouldn’t you be if you had to listen to the things you lot call him on a daily basis?” Regulus asked, a raised eyebrow.

“Whatever, Reggie,” Sirius said, a sigh accompanying his words. “Let’s just go.”

The brothers walked in a comfortable silence and eventually went their separate ways, Regulus heading to the Slytherin dungeons. He spotted Severus at a table in the corner, alone, with his homework sprawled across the table. Regulus, books in his arms, sat across from Severus. He opened his book, laid out his parchment, and began to work on an essay for Divination.

“Were you with Potter?” Severus asked after a few moments of silence as both of them worked on their homework.

“What?” Regulus asked, looking up. “Oh, yeah, I was with James,” he said.

“I just don’t understand what you and Potter have in common,” Severus replied.

“He’s really not—“ Regulus began. He was about to say that James Potter wasn’t a bad person, but if anyone had any reason to believe that he was, it would be Severus Snape. “You just don’t see this other side of him, Sev.”

“Must be a pretty different side,” Severus replied. The conversation ended, and the two continued to work on their assignments in a comfortable silence. About an hour had passed when Severus began to clean up his things and head to his dorm for the night.

With Severus gone and Regulus alone, he began to clean up his own space for the night. Regulus was interrupted when he heard Dorcas calling his name from the other side of the dungeon. When Regulus walked up to Dorcas, sitting on the couch next to her, she leaned her head on his shoulder. Dorcas and Regulus had been close ever since Regulus’ first year at Hogwarts, despite whatever Sirius might have told her about him.

“I’ll never understand why you’re friends with him,” Dorcas said, nonchalantly.

“I wish everyone would realize that I’m capable of choosing who I surround myself with,” Regulus said, no real bite to his words.

“I’m not saying you can’t be friends with Snape, Reg, I’m just saying I don’t understand it. Then again, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to understand the thought process of a boy who chooses to be in a relationship with James Potter,” she teased.

“Oh, drop it,” Regulus said, a small smile on his face as he playfully shoved Dorcas away. “He’s a good guy, right?”

“He is,” Dorcas agreed. “He’s arrogant, loud, obnoxious… I could go on and on. But he really does have a heart of gold.”

Regulus hummed in agreement, leaning back into the couch as Dorcas laid her head back on his shoulder. The two continued to chat as the night went on, until they were both ready to call it a night and head to their own dorms. For the second night in a row, Regulus fell asleep with James Potter’s face playing on repeat in his mind.

Arrogant, loud, obnoxious… Regulus knew these things to be true. Anyone who had spent even five minutes with James Potter would agree with the description. But he really does have a heart of gold. Regulus was finding that part to be true, too.