“This is ridiculous.”
“You’ve said that for the 10th time in the last six hours. If you don’t shut up, I’m throwing you off the first cliff we come across.”
You huffed at his words, but the edge in his voice said he might have been serious. You trotted on, grateful you weren’t walking in a hilly area.
“Where the hell are we anyway?” You asked, mostly to change the subject.
Draco pointed towards a house in the distance, one that was covered by fog and trees that you hardly saw it at first.
“That house is fucking creepy, I’m not going there,” you said firmly, standing your ground.
“Goodbye then,” he shrugged and left you on the spot.
You watched him walk away, took a quick look around the unfamiliar surroundings and begrudgingly followed him.
This week was supposed to be much calmer than this. Your plans included having a normal Christmas at your house, but shit went down even before anyone could leave for the holidays. For all the talk about student safety, Hogwarts certainly had a lot of attacks.
The death eaters came abruptly, and though everyone already saw a war coming, they were still surprised to see the hooded figures with deadly intents. Yet again, most of them had to ask themselves - why can’t we just be kids?
The normal day had instantly turned to the very last day you spent at Hogwarts. One second, everyone was running to find cover. Some were even standing to fight. The next second, you had collided with someone, and the man in question was disapparating, so where he went, so did you.
“Still have no idea why you thought the middle of nowhere was the perfect place to hide from death eaters,” you muttered.
“Because it is the middle of nowhere!” He snapped. “Why the hell did you grab my hand anyway?”
“I didn’t know you were disapparating!” You replied just as fast. “Do you think I wanted to visit a fucking haunted house with you?”
“Stop overreacting, this house isn’t haunted.”
As if to reply, the door opened on its own.
“You sure about that?” You asked, blinking rapidly to make sure you weren’t hallucinating.
Luckily, a short, gray-haired woman peaked her head out, and upon seeing Draco, she let out a yelp of joy.
“Dear! It’s been so long!” She ran forwards and engulfed him in a hug, and he reddened as he realized you were trying not to laugh.
“And who is this?” She asked, pulling apart and making her way to you.
“I’m Y/N L/N,” you said politely, shaking her hands. “I’m sorry, but who exactly are you?”
“She’s Greta, she used to be my babysitter.” Draco replied hastily.
“Come on in then. We can talk about why you’re suddenly here without visiting me for years.” Greta ushered you in.
“I’m sorry,” he said, hesitating. Him apologizing was a sight you never thought you’ll see. “We’ll be out of your hair soon. We just need to stay low for a while.”
“You need to stay low for a while.” You corrected. “I’d rather go to the Order’s headquarters.”
“It’s not my fault that you still don’t know how to disapparate on your own,” he said, clenching his teeth.
“That shit’s goddamn hard. Despise, Deduce and Digestion? It doesn’t even make sense!”
“It’s Destination, Determination and Deliberation!”
“I’ll make you kids some tea. We’ll talk more then,” Greta said pleasantly and was off to the kitchen, leaving you both to glare at each other.
“Maybe you could drop me off at the headquarters?” You suggested half-heartedly.
“That’d require me to know where the Order is staying at. Which obviously is information you don’t trust me with.”
“That’s true.” You agreed.
He scowled. “I could have left you for dead in the middle of the forest.”
“And that’s why I don’t trust you.”
“Oh Merlin, I can’t stand you.”
“Then sit the fuck down.”
“TEA!” Greta came back, holding up a tray of delicacies and hot drinks. Draco instantly smiled, as if the treats were something he hasn’t seen in a long time. That moment of happiness caught you off guard, though you did your best to hide it.
“So what’s going on? She asked, gesturing you both to sit down. You didn’t know how trustworthy this woman was, so you looked at Draco helplessly.
“Death eaters attacked Hogwarts,” he began, his eyes on the cup he was holding. “I disapparated and L/N happened to accidentally grab my hands.”
“It was accidental,” you added angrily.
“I thought you couldn’t do apparitions inside Hogwarts?” Greta asked, shocked.
“The death eaters must have found a counter spell,” Draco shrugged. “I figured if they could apparate, anyone could temporarily disapparate.”
“Oh dears,” she said sadly. “It must have been horrible to see your friends being attacked. I hope it’s all fine now.”
“I do so too,” you nodded nervously. Draco glanced at you, almost a bit sympathetically. Then his face became stoic again.
“Better than fighting people who won’t hesitate to use the death curse.”
“Not better than running,” you snapped.
“I wasn’t running.”
“Well then, do you have a plan? Let’s hear it.”
He ignored the question so you went on. “I’ll tell you what happened. A boy was walking towards his class when suddenly he heard screams. The day darkened and death eaters appeared on the scene. He was scared so he ran. Do you think that boy has a plan?”
“You make it sound like I’m scared,” he said sharply.
“You are.” Your words were soft.
“I’m not! I wasn’t thinking right, I—”
“You thought the death eaters would recognize you. You thought they’d ask you to join them. You were scared you’ll say yes.”
He stood up, his eyes alive with frustration. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Shouldn’t we all calm dow-” Greta began but you cut her off.
“Don’t I? Is it or is it not true that your father is part of that cult?”
“He didn’t have a choice!” His voice rose louder, and you were almost tempted to point it out.
“Your father is part of something that kills innocent people,” you breathed out. “Why the fuck would you still defend him? He had a choice.”
“He didn’t!”
“Yes he did! And so do you! No matter what you say, you have a choice to fight for the right side! Yet you don’t-”
“Y/N-”
“Let me speak for once — let me fucking speak for once.” You screamed, standing up yourself. “You aren’t helpless, you are scared. You are what you always wished you weren’t. A goddamn coward.”
Despite the sudden anger in his mind, his features stayed calm, or well, calmer than before.
“You know why I never listen to you?” He asked, swallowing his attempt to stay nice. “It’s because no one does. You speak with a lot of people, but you don’t have friends. You never did. You’re fucking lonely and that’s why you grabbed my hand even though you knew I was disapparating.”
Your mouth fell open.
“You know what you’re afraid to be?” He asked coldly. “A burden. I’m sorry but that’s already what you are. To everyone you meet and me.”
He was in Slytherin for a reason. If someone found his weak point or called him out for what he did, he’ll find a way to hurt them one way or another. He did that with you, with using nothing but words.
The boy who hates you transformed to the boy who hurt you, all in a matter of seconds.
Greta looked way too scared to get involved.
“I didn’t know you were disapparating,” you said quietly. “I wasn’t grabbing your hands.”
“Sure you weren’t,” he snorted.
“I was pulling you.”
He blinked in confusion. “What?”
“There was- there was a death eater,” you began, stammering. “They rose a wand in your direction and I was trying to pull you out of the way.”
“Why the hell would you do that?” He yelled, this time out of pure surprise.
“Why won’t I?” you retorted. “I know we fight a lot, but I thought you’ll do the same for me. Apparently not.”
“Y/N-”
“Why are you always so mean?”
“I didn’t know that was what you-”
“Answer my question.”
He seemed exhausted with himself. “How is this a surprise? I’m always mean to you.”
You shrugged, hurt splashed across your face. “It gets tiring after a while.”
He bit back the words he was going to say, and Greta saw it fit to interrupt the conversation and show you to your respective rooms.
————————————
You were almost asleep in the bed, thinking of everything that happened today. But before you could properly sleep, there were sharp knocks on the door.
When you opened it, Draco seemed as surprised to be there as you were to see him.
“Why aren’t you asleep yet?” You asked, pulling the bedsheets around you tighter.
“I can’t sleep. Call it insomnia, call it nightmares. I just can’t.” He shrugged, then added, “I hoped you wouldn’t open.”
“Why’s that?”
“Then I could have sighed dramatically, and went back to my room feeling less guilty.” He admitted, leaning against the door.
“I don’t want apologies.” You said stiffly.
“You want explanations,” he stated.
You nodded, though you were unsure whether he’ll ever give you one.
“It’s — it’s easy for me to hurt people.” He said, his eyes boring into yours.
“Even people you care about?”
His eyes turned softer. “Especially people I care about.”
“Do you care about me then?” you asked, almost amused.
“If I do, I’ll never say it.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know how to show I care.”
“You can try.”
He shook his head. For the next few moments, you could only hear the crickets outside and wind brushing against the tree branches. Then he asked the question he’s been dying to ask.
“Why’d you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Save me.” He said, knotting his hands in front of him.
“It was the humane thing to do,” you replied. “Besides, everyone there had someone to save them. Everyone except you.”
“Now you’re calling me lonely.” he laughed.
“Possibly,” you smiled back.
“Don’t try to save me again,” he said, his voice quieter than before. “I can hold up on my own.”
“See, you’re arrogant.”
“You’re stupid.”
“Insufferable.”
“Ridiculous.”
“Just kiss me already.”
“Thought you’d never ask.”
His lips were on yours, and for a moment there, you wondered if this was all a dream. It was night after all. If it was a dream, you hoped you won’t wake up, because the way the kiss made you melt inside was one of the few hints that said how much you’ve been wanting this. Wanting him.
He bit down your lips softly, forcing you to smile and part your lips. His hands tightened around your waist, holding you so tight as if he was scared you’ll fade away. He groaned when you pulled on his hair, which only made you find his lips faster.
“You’re a surprisingly good kisser,” you remarked after he pulled apart reluctantly.
He smirked, still cupping your face. “There’s a lot of things I’m surprisingly good at.”
“You’re awful,” you said, rolling your eyes.
“I’m yours,” he pressed a kiss against the base of your neck.
———————————
It was a very dreadful day at the Grimmauld Place. After the attack at Hogwarts, everyone was clambering about, making sure the kids were safe and the wounds tended to. Kingsley had to keep the chaos out from the Ministry, and Sirius was practically begging to be let out to fight.
Mrs. Weasley was the only sane person left, and she made sure no one was skipping meals or accidentally blurting out secrets in the hallways.
“Someone’s knocking at the damn door!” She yelled and to no one’s surprise, everyone was too busy to hear her. She muttered complaints under her breath and went to open it herself.
“Y/N! You’re okay!” She hugged you fiercely before you could even say hi.
“Yes, I’m fine, Mrs. Weasley,” you forcibly pulled apart, taking in a deep breath. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet. Someone who wants to join the Order.”
“Oh!” She took a step back, thinking it over. “Well, who is it?”
You pulled Draco in from outside, and he entered the household nervously.
“Hello,” he said timidly.
Mrs. Weasley almost gasped. Almost. She hid her surprise considerably well, and offered the boy a kind smile. He instantly felt calmer.
“Is this a good idea?” She asked you quickly.
“I want to fight,” Draco said firmly, maybe even pleading. “For the right side from now. I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
She let out a sad “oh!” again and then saw your earnest glance. If you trusted him, she decided he couldn’t be so bad. This could all go wrong. Keeping a death eater’s kid on the Order’s side could always go wrong, but isn’t that what they did with Sirius? Didn’t he show that no one should be judged for their family?
Mrs. Weasley hesitated, then nodded. “I suppose welcome to the Order, Draco.