Friends and Ghosts
Try as she might, Hermione has heard nary a peep about the dinner between the Potters and the Malfoys.
Nor had James and Lucius, apparently.
Both sets of Lords and Ladies had remained tight-lipped and would do so until the end of time, it seems. Hermione hated secrets.
It had been about five weeks since the Sorting Hat placed her into Ravenclaw. She had assimilated nicely into her new place at Hogwarts. Not being put in Gryffindor has done wonders to her mental state. The place carried too much memories, too much ghosts; from the brief minute she had seen of the Gryffindor Commons while waiting for Alice, not much had changed. She would forever be grateful to the Sorting Hat for complying with her wishes. Hermione thought she would likely have a breakdown should she be subjected to the Red and Gold common room. It was hard enough keeping a straight face while wandering the halls of Hogwarts.
On the bright side, lessons had been going seamlessly. Most of the stuff taught Hermione had learned from her previous life as Hermione Granger or her tutors during her childhood at the Malfoy's Estates. There were a few changes in the curriculum, but she had predicted so due to the massive time gap. Everything came easily to her, and as such, she retained a number one position despite putting nearly no effort into her school work.
True to their words, Hermione and her friends remained close enough (though there were strained conversations when House Loyalties were involved). Evan Rosier and her brother, Lucius, had somehow caught on to Snape's rough demeanour and attitude towards her on the train. Thus, Snape quickly became the proverbial black sheep of the Slytherin House. Following that, everyone had found out about his close relationship with the resident, self-righteous muggle-born of Gryffindor House. No matter what Hermione had said, Evan and Lucius were relentless to Snape. Though it made her happy that her brother and close friend cared so much about her, it equally infuriated her.
So many things have not been going along with the plan she and her Papa had concocted, and it frustrated her endlessly. Though logically she knew she could not control her friends (and everyone else's) actions, she still was not happy. Her papa had warned her things will not go as planned (nothing ever did, really), though the man had humoured her still and helped her. "There will be things beyond your control, my lovely Hermione," her papa said gravely. "You cannot attempt to control everything. It will only drive you mad."
Hermione hated that he was right.
For one, Peter Pettigrew had somehow weaselled his way into her group of friends. Alice Greengrass had taken it upon herself to help Pettigrew learn Potions after a first abysmal lesson with Slughorn, in which the man paired Alice and Pettigrew together (Hermione was fortunately paired with her dear friend, Evan Rosier). Thus, Alice frequently invited him over to the Gryffindor Common Room where James and his new band of mischief-promising friends often spend their time. There was nothing Hermione could do about that, knowing Alice like the back of her hand. The girl was stubborn and unrelenting and loyal to a fault. All Hermione could do now was adjust accordingly.
She did not mean to be such a chess master. But in her mind, it was what was expected of her in order to achieve the outcome she desired. One where her friends and family live safely and happily. Frankly, she could not give a single knut about what will happen to herself (although she'd like to live until the war ends, if possible). She was terrified of being likened to Dumbledore and Voldemort themselves after all the manipulating and controlling she had done and will continue to do.
The secrets were killing her from the inside out. It manifested into nightmares, of which she had been struggling to hide from her roommates, and many restless nights. She can't exactly talk to her dear friends about this mess; they would think she's gone barmy. There was no one Hermione could talk to about this, or at least not yet. She'd like to confide in some of her friends in the future. Though at the moment, being back at Hogwarts and surrounded by her past's ghosts - it's overwhelming. She can barely stand to look at James Potter recently due to his uncanny resemblance to Harry. She can barely talk to Sirius Black without thinking of her own, very much dead Sirius Black from her original timeline. Alice reminded her too much of Ginny, with her spitfire, fiery yet kind personality.
As such, Hermione has been isolating herself; pulling her walls closer and building an impenetrable fortress. Hermione had not conversed with anybody (except for the perfunctory 'Good Morning' and 'Good Night' to her roommates) for the past two days. Her friends noticed, of course.
It was the reason why Hermione was now running only in her nightclothes, silk dressing gown, and thin slippers towards the Great Lake in the freezing night. "We are going to get caught by Filch and his cat," she hissed as her friends dragged her nearer to the lake.
"Oh, live a little, 'Mi!" Alice laughed at Hermione's grouchy demeanour. "You have been in a mood for so long, Hermione," Evan piped in, looking over at the witch. "Don't think we didn't notice." He then continued to stumble over a wayward branch, eliciting a loud laugh from her friends.
Hermione struggled to keep her lips from quirking, and pouted instead. "It's cold, and I have a Transfiguration test first thing tomorrow morning!"
"You have not studied since the moment we came to Hogwarts, Hermione," Lavinia snorted with amusement. "Stop isolating yourself. Whatever it is that's got you upset, we can help you, 'Mi. You just have to let us," the girl added. Hermione was quiet, letting Vinnie's words run in her mind. They came to a stop by a large rocky area with a patch of grassy plains, adequately covered by trees. They sat down on the blanket Dorian carried. Hermione was sandwiched in-between Alice and Evan, while Dorian and Lavinia sat across from them. They left a large space open between Vinnie and Evan, likely for their other friends.
"Is this an intervention?" Hermione quipped. Alice rolled her eyes. "No, dummy. We just wanted to spend some time with you since you've been running off every time anyone tried to approach you." Hermione bit her upper lip, guilty, and shifted uncomfortably. Evan only huddled closer to her while Alice nudged her with a small smile.
As if sensing Hermione's plummeting mood, Dorian changed the subject. "Are Potter and Black coming still, Allie?"
"I think so. Lily was berating them, Lupin, and poor Frank earlier for something or other. Might put a lull in our plans," Alice answered easily, shaking her head with a fond yet exasperated expression. "I love Evans, I swear I do. But that girl has me at the end of my rope sometimes. Merlin, she can be barmy!" Alice continued. "Just the other day I saw Snape hexing James but Lily did not even bat an eye. When James retaliated, Lily intervened. You could only guess how that went," the blonde grimaced. Dorian snorted but was elbowed by Vinnie immediately. "James and Sirius causes mischief every single day since we've arrived. I rather think they deserve a good hexing sometimes," Hermione commented, trying to be nonchalant but failing miserably. Her voice had gone horribly pitchy.
The whole school knew of the ongoing, explosive feud between Lily Evans and the soon-to-be-formed Marauders (this time around with James, Sirius, Remus, and Frank). It wasn't only the Slytherins that Snape had to watch out for, it seems. The Gryffindor boys have some kind of vendetta against Snape, as well.
"I truly do not understand why you are so keen on defending Snape, Hermione," Evan commented, his voice and expression genuine. He looked curious, as did the rest of her friends. "The boy had been quite hurtful against you and a number of people. He is also gaining an infamous reputation amongst students. Severus Snape can be very much cruel, foul and dour to everyone except the muggle-born chit."
Hermione only shrugged and smiled sadly. "I think he's only reacting to the unwelcome he has received thus far, Evan. Slytherin House is not particularly kind to him," Hermione commented, sending Evan and Dorian a pointed look (both, along with her brother, had been instrumental to the miserable experience Snape's been receiving). Dorian answered with a shrug and a smirk whereas Evan was unapologetic. As if sensing Alice's incoming retaliation to her comment, Hermione quickly added, "nor has been Gryffindor House. Snape reacted poorly on that train compartment, and that first impression has been following him ever since. His dour attitude is just a defence mechanism, I'd rather think."
Vinnie hummed. "That may be so, Hermione, but it doesn't excuse his less than savory behaviour." Her friends were quick to agree with Lavinia.
Hermione acquiesced, trying to avoid an argument. The topic changed eerily quick, moving to gossip courtesy of Alice. "Oh! Have any of you heard? My cousin told me that Molly Prewett's been caught in a broom closet with Arthur Weasley!"
It wasn't for another ten minutes that Sirius and James came barreling towards their group with a basket of goods, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin in tow. Hermione could only sigh inwardly at the appearance of the rat and secured a neutral facade.
"Oh finally! You oafs sure took your sweet time," Vinnie verbalised, grabbing the basket from James' hold and digging out a blueberry muffin. Sirius rolled his eyes. "Such dramatics, Vinnie. Don't you know? It is uncouth!" came Sirius' snobby, satirical response. Sirius only received a slap on the backside of his head from Dorian, who was now stuffing his mouth full with a scone. "You try escaping from Evans' wrath, mate," James grumbled unhappily. "I didn't even do nothing wrong," he whined. Alice rolled her eyes and tossed a banana peel, which James narrowly avoided, with a demand to quit the whinging. "Where's Longbottom, James?" Dorian questioned. James mumbled a response while Sirius made a show of explaining things loudly.
Hermione shifted her attention elsewhere, wanting to avoid a migraine. James and Sirius, like the stories told in her time, were indeed glued at the hip. Where one goes, the other follows.
"Are these picnic get togethers going to be a regular thing?" Remus Lupin asked concerned, seemingly still adjusting to the dynamics of the group. "I'd hope not! Riri would have my head should she find out I'm sneaking 'round at night," Hermione answered, wincing at the thought of the stringent Diggory finding her up and about in the middle of the night. Alice laughed, already familiar with Iridessa Diggory's attitude.
Side conversations were happening all around. Overlapping loud voices and laughs that was sure to attract the attention of any prefects, teachers, or caretakers. Hermione silently and wandlessly erected a ward to ensure nobody would hear nor find them. Anyone sensitive to magic would feel the protective ward prickling on their skin. Hermione was aware that Remus, Evan, Sirius, and Vinnie were amongst the people most sensitive to magic. This was evident when the young werewolf shot a sharp look around while the latter three kept steady conversations going and minded their own business. In theory, no first year should have been able to do it.
Evan, ever the loyal friend, seemed to notice Remus' suspicious looks. "Oi! Pettigrew, you too good to be friends with us Slytherins or what? Following these Gryffs' around so much!" Evan loudly called out the quiet boy in jest. Everyone but Remus and Peter seemed to realize it was in fact teasing, likely because they did not grow up with Evan's sense of humour (or rather, attempts of humour/teasing). Remus quickly came to the boy's defence as Pettigrew struggled. Hermione internally relished as Pettigrew became wary and nervous. She knew that relishing in a person's discomfort is simply not done behaviour but she could not help it.
The inner turmoil between her morals and instinct continued as the night went on. It was going to be a long day tomorrow, Hermione realized, as the bone-deep exhaustion started to settle in.
It was around two a.m. when everyone had to sneak back into the castle, feeling content and stuffed full of sweets.
.
She wrote letters to her mum and Papa at least once a week. That had been her excuse to Iridessa Diggory when the girl practically interrogated Hermione the next morning. Mentions of Abraxas and Eudora had always seemed to work with Diggory. Likely because it reminded the girl of Hermione's status, not that Hermione usually flaunted it. It's just the quickest approach to fend off Iridessa.
Iridessa's a twin, Hermione had discovered after the Welcoming Feast a while back. Her sister, Cressida Diggory, was sorted into Hufflepuff with her older brother, Amos. It created a friendly rivalry between the twins, and in turn, made Iridessa a bit insufferable about the House Cup and losing points. As it was, Iridessa only gently chided Hermione for irresponsibly gallivanting off to the owlery in the middle of the night. The girl seemed to sense the change of attitude in Hermione from the previous days, and thus was kinder to her so as to not discourage Hermione's active participation in conversations.
"Are you prepared for the Transfiguration quiz, Hermione?" asked Pandora over a bowl of porridge. "I'd like to think so," Hermione answered, purposefully vague. Pandora hummed. "Please, 'Dora, Hermione doesn't need to prepare for the Transfiguration quiz. She's never studied before and still retains a place in McGonagall's good books," Matilda chimed in, teasingly. "Teach me your ways, O'great one!"
"Professor McGonagall, 'Til," Riri commented but wisely remained out of the conversation, preferring to study her notes instead.
Matilda huffed. "You always ruin my fun, Riri." Iridessa rolled her eyes, using her wand to flick a wayward strawberry that fell off some plate to Matilda's forehead. Matilda grumbled and retaliated in kind.
Pietro Dumont, another Ravenclaw from her year, slid down closer to Pandora from a separate table. "Your friends are looking particularly hungover this morning, Malfoy," Pietro commented, almost conspiratorially, nodding towards the James, Sirius, and Alice. All of them only just entering the Great Hall.
Hermione swallowed a grimace at their dishevelled appearance.
Hermione had hid her dark circles with a beautification spell she learnt from Lavender Brown in her previous life. Apparently, her friends did not have the same thought as her and failed to use a glamour to disguise their exhaustion. "I am not their keeper, Dumont. I do not know what they partake in during their downtime at Gryffindor Tower," she answered neutrally, noting the suspicious look Iridessa now wore. "It is simply not my business, nor yours. So, what is it that you want, Mr. Dumont?" Hermione asked, arching a perfect eyebrow paired with an unimpressed expression.
"Nothing at all," the boy answered, backing off immediately.
Hermione rolled her eyes once the boy walked away. "Right. I'll see you in class then. I've got a few things in need of handling," Hermione told the girls, keeping her eyes trained on her friends at the Gryffindor table. She walked off before anyone could comment. Hermione internally grumbled her way to the Gryffindor table, taking a seat between Sirius and Allie. "The lot of you look particularly awful this morning. Do you not have any invigoration draughts?" Hermione paused. "Or wands?" She arched a brow at the boys and Allie.
"I'm exhausted, 'Mi. Please do not berate me at this time," came Allie's answer, her head almost dropping to the bowl of untouched porridge in front of her. Hermione's left eye twitched. "Right then. Frank, would you be so kind to fetch invigoration draughts for these idiots before class? I have got Transfiguration this morning and the Hospital Wing is unfortunately no where near the classroom."
"I'll make sure they each have an invigoration draught before class, Hermione," Frank dutifully responded. "We've got Defence first so it's closer to the infirmary."
Hermione smiled. "Thank you, Frank. They certainly cannot attend DADA like this unless they want to be hexed by Professor Crawford." Frank nodded in agreement, exasperated by his friends' antics.
"Don't worry, Hermione. I've got their backs too," Frank responded. Hermione visibly brightened, then proceeded to give a grateful nod towards the Longbottom Heir.
The girl then turned towards Sirius, who was now snoring with his head on her shoulder. "Sirius Black!" Hermione growled, jabbing a finger to the boy's ribs. Across from Sirius, James, who looked at least 40% awake, snorted.
"Shhhh, 'Mi'ne! 'm sleep'n'," Sirius slurred sleepily, dragging his head away from the witch and placing it on the table. Hermione sent an exasperated glance to Frank while the boy sent her an amused one in return.
It was not even a minute later that Alice followed Sirius' example and leaned her head on Hermione, this time with a content sigh.
.
Hermione was in the Room of Requirements.
It was the first time she went since her arrival at Hogwarts this time around. Truth be told, Hermione was terrified of going to the ever-changing room. She was worried that if she did go, the room would read her subconscious and provide figments of her lost friends and family. She knew it couldn't happen. It was simply impossible, even with magic. The fear was persistent though, and had manifested in her dreams that night.
An effective way to conquer fear, the Weasley matriarch once advised her, is to soldier on. Molly Weasley had heard word of her fear of flying from the Weasley brood, and had taken it upon herself to help Hermione in her third year. It was only because of Molly that she was able to ride the Hippogriff with Harry and a freshly-rescued older version of Sirius Black without fainting. The Weasley matriarch's advice continued to help her, giving Hermione the courage to visit the Room of Requirements.
Hermione had used the passageways that she knew like the back of her hands, and ventured to the seventh floor.
When the door materialized, Hermione froze. The visions of her nightmare playing in her head. Hermione steeled herself though. She was a Gryffindor at heart. Taking a step closer to the door, she opened it, letting the door slam as it hits the wall behind it.
Hermione's eyes watered at the achingly familiar sight. It was The Burrow - the living room, to be precise. A familiar tune was playing softly in the background; Hermione recognized it as one of Celestina Warbeck's, A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love. As Hermione stepped inside, her eyes stung. She fondly looked at the coffee table where cards were laid out haphazardly. A few cups of tea and dessert plates, all empty, were laid out strategically at the side tables. Running a hand through the soft material of a blanket on the loveseat, Hermione closed her eyes.
"Blimey, 'Mione! Reckon Fred and George would really supply the materials to pull this off?" Ron.
"Not without some blackmail, I think. Cheap buggers, they are." Ginny.
"I'm sure the twins would gladly give us the materials if we tell them it's for Percy!" Harry.
She tried her hardest to remember everyone's laughs, the sound of dishes magically washing themselves, the sound of many pairs of feet running down the stairs. She tried to remember the smell, but found she could not. Simply too much time has passed between then and the present. Hermione opened her eyes to survey the walls, not even bothering to wipe her tears away.
Hermione shuddered. Everything was eerily the same. Pictures of the family; of her and Harry and Ron; of Arthur and Molly at their wedding; of Fred and George; of everyone, littered the walls.
She paused at the Weasley Family clock. She had always been so fond of it, finding it to be a nifty type of magic. She remembered the delight Harry had expressed when Mr and Mrs. Weasley added him to the clock, just before she, Harry and Ron had to go on the run. As she inspected it closer, wanting to see the small painted faces of her friends, Hermione brought a hand to cover her mouth to suppress the devastated shout. It showed everyone pointing at 'lost'. Lost meant death, her mind unhelpfully supplied.
Hermione closed her eyes again, taking a deep breath.
"We're always with you, Hermione."
Hermione sighed, feeling exhausted all over again. When she found the strength to lift herself up (she did not remember falling down nor did she remember leaning against the wall), Hermione hurried out and made haste towards the Ravenclaw Tower.
Perhaps she really should talk to her Papa.