Chapter 5
“You shouldn’t be down here alone.” Lily nearly jumped out of her skin, whirling around to see James shutting the door to the Potions room behind him. “It’s dangerous to be on your own right now.”
“Fucking hell, James. I think you just took five years off of my life.”
He didn’t look remotely sorry. “Serves you right,” his voice was stern, “you wouldn’t have been prepared for an intruder waving that thing about.” Lily sheepishly dropped the licorice root she was brandishing like a weapon back down onto the table beside her cauldron.
“What’re you doing down here?” She asked, trying to get her heart rate back under control.
“Looking for you. Marlene said you’d gone off on your own.”
Lily gestured to her cluttered worktable. “I’m brewing a sleeping draught for Mary.”
His brows furrowed. “She can’t get it from Pomfrey?”
Lily shook her head. “She needs something a bit...stronger.” She didn’t need to explain more than that.
“Okay.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Okay?”
He dropped his book bag and sat at the bench beside her. “Okay.”
“You don’t have to stay with me, I’m perfectly capable of defending myself.”
“I know, Lily. Your cauldron is about to boil over, by the way.”
“ Shit .” She hurriedly dropped in the chopped gillyweed and stirred the mixture five times. The boiling dropped to a nice simmer, and the potion transformed from thick, slodgy green muck into a calming clear lilac. She breathed a sigh of relief, starting over would’ve cost her hours.
“I am, though. Capable of defending myself.”
“I know. We all remember what you did to Amos Diggery when he swatted your arse at the Three Broomsticks.”
Lily fought a smile. “That was never proven to be me.” She said primly.
“Remarkable timing, though.”
“Cosmic justice intervened.”
“I’m here for my own peace of mind, let me be selfish.”
She rolled her eyes. “You don’t have a selfish bone in your body, James. Fuckin’ prince among men, you are.”
His smile was fast and bright, a ray of sunshine cutting through the dim air of the dungeons. “You sound strangely disappointed about that.”
“Well I spent a significant amount of my time prior to this year trying to prove otherwise, to no avail.” His smile was almost too much for her, and she hid her flushed cheeks by staring determinedly down at her chopping board.
“You don’t need to waste your time down here with me.” She continued.
“I don’t know if you knew this, Lily, but it seems to be a dangerous time to be a muggleborn.”
She turned quickly, knife in hand. “I do know that, James.” She said sharply. “ I have to think about that at all times. I have never, not once in all my years at Hogwarts, been allowed to forget it.” She watched the shame sweep over his face as he nodded his head in contrition.
“That was thoughtless of me.” He said softly. “I’m sorry.”
“You just,” she paused, waving the knife in the air while she searched for the right words, “you don’t know what it’s like. You have the privilege of never having to think about your blood status.”
She returned to her roots, chopping more roughly than strictly needed. She’d always found preparing ingredients to be calming, focusing her entire mind on the task in front of her and blocking out all other noise. But right then her hands were shaking and the pieces were coming out uneven. Cursing, she threw the knife down. A hand gently reached out to close around her wrist.
“No one is going to touch you.” James whispered fiercely. “You or Mary.” She reluctantly looked up from her chopping board to meet his gaze, and her breath caught in her throat. The flickering of the flames beneath her cauldron were reflected in his eyes, washing them in gold, twin embers burning in the darkness. She wanted them to swallow her up. Something in the air changed and the space between their bodies became a living, breathing thing. It grew thicker, heavier, ripe like summer fruit.
A group of students passed by the room, and their voices shattered the moment. James took his hand back from her wrist, and Lily found herself mourning the loss.
“So,” James continued, running a hand through his hair distractedly, “for my peace of mind, next time you need to skip off to the dungeons, the grounds, the astronomy tower, wherever , please come and find me. I’ve been told I’m good company.”
Lily wanted to laugh, but there was an undercurrent in his voice that stopped her, something desperate and strained. It was then that she noticed the dark circles stamped underneath his eyes. They were new. So she didn’t laugh.
“Deal.” Then she frowned. “How did you even know where I was?”
“You keep forgetting my prowess, Lily.”