I wonder...
The year is 1993, our tale starts in the garden at St Mungo's. A memory wiped Gilderoy is trying to talk to something in a pond.
Gilderoy smiled. "I know that there's something in that pond, come out so I can talk to you."
A soft croak came from the pond and a toad hopped out of it. It spoke in a low voice, "I know you've been watching me for some time, Gilderoy Lockhart."
Gilderoy asked, "Who's Gilderoy Lockhart?"
The toad said, "You."
Gilderoy inquired, "How does a toad know my name, if that is my name?"
The toad told him, "I, Trevor the toad, know who everyone in this hospital is."
Gilderoy replied, "I don't know who I am, but I believe you're right when you say my name is Gilderoy Lockhart. So, I'm Gilderoy Lockhart, nice to meet you."
He held out his hand for the toad to shake.
Trevor shook it with a slimy green hand and remarked, "You have nice teeth."
Gilderoy giggled. "Do I? I wonder why that is."
Trevor stated, "You used to be a celebrity of sorts, celebrities tend to enjoy being pretty."
Gilderoy grinned. "I am rather pretty, aren't I?"
Trevor agreed, "You are."
Gilderoy sighed. "I wonder..."
Trevor insisted, "What do you wonder?"
Gilderoy answered, "I wonder if kissing a toad will make my memory come back."
Trevor told him, "It works for most things in Muggle fairytales."
Gilderoy asked, "May I kiss you, Trevor?"
Trevor said, "You may."
Gilderoy put Trevor on his hand and kissed him on the lips.
Trevor inquired, "Did it work?"
Gilderoy grinned. "No, but I found it rather enjoyable all the same."
Trevor smirked. "Why is that?"
Gilderoy explained, "Your mouth just feels right on my mouth."
Trevor gasped. "You really thought so?"
Gilderoy beamed, "Yeah, that kiss was nice."