December Magic

Severus was exhausted. He had reached his capacity to be social with the other people in his life besides his wife hours ago. Finally, being home, even if it was at a late hour, was a huge relief. There was only so much attention and fussing he could handle at once. Though, he had grown to be able to stand quite a lot more than what he would have been able to a few years ago, thanks to none other than his witch.

Severus and Hermione had just come back from the Weasleys' annual Christmas party on this chilly Christmas Eve. As much as Severus despised big get-togethers where he stood out, he took comfort in having people who cared about him. He likened it to having a so-called family.

When the war ended, Harry and Hermione had taken on the difficult task of clearing his name. After Harry had viewed Severus' memories, they were shown to the Order and in court as evidence of his good intentions, effectively convincing most that Severus was working for the greater good. In doing so, sacrificing everything to protect Harry Potter and ensure the Dark Lord's downfall.

Severus lit a fire in the small fireplace in their bedroom. With him and his wife gone for so long, the house had grown quite cold. Their large four-poster bed looked exceptionally inviting, with its sizable furs draped over an edge. However, before he could climb in bed and rest for the night, he had to retrieve his sleeping wife from the sofa in the sitting room. When he had seen her asleep downstairs, he took it upon himself to get their room ready for them.

Once he had the bed made up for them to sleep in, Severus glanced over at the clock above the mantle, noticing that it was nearly one in the morning. Christmas Day had hit.

He knew that Christmas was meant to be spent with people you love; it was practically common knowledge. For himself, that someone was his wonderful wife. Even after all of their years together, he couldn't fathom why she would ever come to love someone like him. Severus believed that his witch deserved someone who was neither old nor snarky and not outwardly loving, though Hermione would never agree. Whenever Severus brought this up to her, especially when they had only just started dating, Hermione would retort with, "You're not old, Severus! And besides, wizards have a longer life expectancy than muggles." He begrudgingly accepted her retorts, even if he still believed that she deserved far better than him. Insufferable witch.

Even so, he accepted her love and affection in full, vowing to return it in every way he possibly could until the day he perished. 

As he reflected on that difficult time, he walked down the stairs to see Hermione curled up like a cat on the dark velvet of the sofa. She was wearing the Christmas jumper that Molly Weasley had gifted him tonight. Of course, she had made Hermione one as well, but she seemed to like wearing his, no matter how much her small frame was swimming in it. 

Ever since Hermione had introduced the Potions Master as her lover, the Weasley matriarch had made it her duty to make him a jumper every year. Hermione would snatch it and put it on as soon as they got home, just as she did tonight. If Severus was honest, he didn't mind in the slightest; he thought she looked rather cute in his black and green jumper that ceased right above her knees.

A tiny snore that wasn't Hermione's caused Severus to search for its source, finding Hermione's wretched cat, Crookshanks, sprawled out on her hip. It seemed that the feline was more attached to Hermione than ever, and Severus didn't quite understand why. The ruddy cat was usually scarce until night fell for feeding. Crookshanks seemed to be practically attached to Hermione's person wherever she went in recent days. It was bloody odd. 

Letting out a small snort, Severus knelt so that his face was level with Hermione's. He began to lightly wake her so that he could help her to bed, not wanting her to sleep on the sofa so long that her back hurt. He pressed his thin lips to her forehead, gently urging her awake with his kisses.

"Hermione. Wake up," he whispered so that he wouldn't startle her. She let out an audible groan and snuggled closer to the couch. His smile could be heard in his voice when he next spoke. "Come on, love. Wake up for me."

After a few more tender prods, Hermione's eyes fluttered open, a confused look on her face. She slowly rose, causing Crookshanks to leap off of her with a hiss at being disturbed from his nap. She was still adjusting to the soft light in the room cast by the fire and decorated Christmas tree. "Severus? Wait. What time is it?"

"Almost one in the morning."

"Why did you let me fall asleep? I wanted to give you your present as soon as Christmas started."

The put-out expression she gave him was a bit alarming. "You've been exhausted lately, Hermione. After the eventful night we had, I thought it best to let you rest, and I only woke you to get you to bed. Do you have an illness that you're not telling me about?"

It was true. Hermione seemed not to be sleeping enough, no matter the amount of sleep she got every night. It seemed that every task she performed, even if it were small, would wear her out to no end. More times than not, when Severus came home from work during the weekdays, he would find her asleep atop their bed. With every day that passed, he grew more and more concerned. Her bouts of fatigue had been happening since the middle of November and nearly all of December. Something was off, and he didn't like it one bit.

"Well, nothing's wrong per se…." She noticeably avoided his gaze, evidently engrossed in the dance of the flames from the crackling fire that heated the room.

"What do you mean 'per se?'" When she didn't answer and continued to stare into the orange glow of the fire, he took hold of her cheeks, forcing her to look at him. Her eyes were glazed over with tears, further startling him. "Hermione, please, tell me what's wrong. Let me help you, my love. Maybe there's a potion I can brew you? Or, um, I don't know. Just tell me what I can do. Please."

His sentiments were quite endearing, and Hermione found his stammering quite adorable. Adorable man, she thought. She let out a little laugh which seemed to lessen the line of worry on Severus' forehead.

"You know what? Why don't you open your gift?" she told him like she wasn't about to burst into a fit of tears.

"Are you mad? That's the last thing I care about right now. Hermione, what's wrong?"

Hermione reached out to caress his cheek. "Trust me, and I promise everything will make sense once you open your gift."

Deciding that he probably wouldn't get anything out of her unless he did as she asked, Severus relented. "Fine." He watched as Hermione pranced across the room to grab one of the small wrapped presents that sat under the tree. When she handed it to him, he said, "I mean it, witch. You're telling me what's going on as soon as I've opened this."

He didn't notice Hermione begin to hold her breath as he carefully started to undo the wrapping.

Severus removed the ribbons and decorative paper, leaving a small, plain box resting in his hands. Still confused, he slowly removed the lid of the box, pushing the tissue paper out of the way to get to what lay inside. Amongst the tissue lay a visibly small handmade jumper that bore his name. Snape. 

Severus took one hand to free the miniature jumper of its confines. Leaving the box in his lap, he unfolded the jumper that could easily fit in his large hand. 

Why would they need this? Unless… 

Severus froze, barely able to get her name out of his mouth. "Hermione?"

"Y-Yes?" she stammered.

"Are you…?" He made a point of staring at her stomach.

"Yes, Severus. I'm pregnant."

"But how?"

"The natural way, I suppose," she quietly laughed.

Her little laugh roused him from his shock. Severus abruptly got to his feet, lifting Hermione as he did so, fiercely holding her against him. He buried his face in her mass of curls and began to shed a few rare tears. 

They had been trying for a baby for quite a long while now, with no success. The few times they had managed to get pregnant, it hadn't been meant to be, resulting in multiple miscarriages. Of course, it wore on them both, but more so on Hermione. 

Shortly after they had gotten married, and after many long conversations, they decided that it was time to start a family of their own. Her friends had already begun to do so, and seeing them with their infant children solidified the decision. It had been well over a year without a pregnancy that lasted more than a few weeks. After endless appointments at St. Mungos that did little to help their situation, they both started to get discouraged.

Every month that passed where Hermione didn't fall pregnant, Severus would find her silently crying with a negative muggle test clutched in her palm. He would take her in his arms, gently rock her, and whisper soothing words against her ear, attempting to comfort her in the only way he knew how. Seeing her heartbreak every month pulled at his heartstrings, causing him to slowly fall apart. Sometimes, when she was asleep, he would go to the potions lab in their home and allow himself to bawl for her, for their potential child, and to release his own emotions. Severus never allowed her to see his tears when it came to this. His grief would only present her with more suffering, and he didn't want her to turn all of her attention on him instead of caring for her own emotional needs. He would always put on a brave face if it meant keeping additional sadness from taking hold of his wife. She was going through enough as it was.

At one point during their journey, she had sobbed against his chest, asking him what was wrong with her body. What hurt him even more to hear was when she would shakily apologize to him for not doing the one natural thing she felt that she should be able to do. When this happened, Severus would reassure her that nothing was wrong with her and that this wasn't her fault in the slightest, that it just happened sometimes. Even after his continued efforts to comfort her, he knew she still felt the same when she gave him a watery, barely-there smile.

The truth was, the continued hexes and curses cast upon their person had damaged both of their bodies. There was no telling exactly how scarred their reproductive organs were, if at all. The evidence would be nearly invisible internally. 

So, to find themselves here, right now, left him astonished in the best way possible. The realization was almost too much to bear; he was going to be a father. There was going to be a tiny innocent being that relied on him and its mother entirely. It scared him. It frightened him that he could be a fuck up like his own father even though he had no intention of becoming anything like the bastard. Still, the possibility was there. 

Pressing his mouth against Hermione's ear, Severus made the promise that he would protect her and their child. He promised that he would always love them and always do anything in his power to care and provide for them. 

Saying the words out loud caused his composure to snap. Instead of a few stray tears falling from his eyes, Severus was full-on sobbing now, unable to hold back his elated emotions of becoming a father.

"Merlin. I- I'm going to be a-a father," he shakily let out.

Hermione turned against him, pressing a soft kiss to the side of his wet face. "Yes, Severus. We are going to be a family." 

A family. His family. 

A family wasn't something that was ever in the cards for him until he started a relationship with Hermione, his gorgeous wife. And here they were, starting a family that would be all their own.

Severus continued to sob for several minutes, not caring about the unattractive noises that poured from his mouth. All the while, Hermione stroked his raven locks, a watery smile on her face as she did so.

When Severus finally grasped some sort of collectedness, he pulled back from Hermione, suddenly self-conscious about letting his emotions get the better of him. "F-forgive m-me. I-I am a bit o-overwhelmed," he struggled to get out. After allowing himself another minute to calm down, he spoke again. "I never thought that I would have this. Let alone you. I know I'm undeserving, but I can't help but feel… fortunate," he said the last word barely above a whisper, Hermione nearly not catching it.

"Oh, Severus! Don't apologize. You are certainly allowed to feel happy." She caressed his cheek and slowly wiped his tears away with the soft pad of her thumb. "Love, you are deserving of every good thing in this world. You deserve to feel loved, and you are loved by so many. So don't let me hear you say that again. You are more deserving than anyone."

Severus looked down in a further attempt to hide his tears, but Hermione grabbed hold of his cheeks now, compelling him to look back at her. As obsidian eyes met bronze, Hermione recognized the doubtful look on his face. Even after all these years, it was still hard for him to accept that he deserved more than condemnation.

Severus set Hermione on the sofa and brought himself to kneel, once again, on the floor. Now, settled in front of him, Hermione leaned down to place a lingering kiss against his forehead, trying to say all the things she didn't know how to. Severus closed his eyes at the warm feel of her soft lips against his cold skin, allowing himself to accept that this dream of his was becoming a reality. He was going to have a family. Maybe, after all he's suffered, this is what he deserved.

When Hermione pulled away, Severus moved his hands to lift the fabric of the jumper, revealing the tiniest bump that was the only evidence of her pregnancy.

His eyes didn't move away from her middle when he asked his next question, "How far along?"

"About 12 weeks now. I found out at the end of November. I was feeling a bit run down and decided to take a muggle test, and then to confirm it was positive, I cast the charm. My periods haven't been normal since… well, you know."

Severus finally lifted his gaze to see that her eyes were wet again. Recognizing that it was his turn to comfort her, he reached one hand up to massage the back of her neck, knowing that the motion helped her to relax. She melted into his touch. 

Talking about Bellatrix's torture was still triggering and difficult for her. They both knew that it may have contributed to their problems of conceiving. 

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" He made sure his voice was soft. Not accusing, but lovingly concerned.

Hermione let out a huff of air, shoulders slumping. "I didn't want to tell you when I first found out just for me to lose them." She started softly crying. "I didn't know if they were going to stick."

"Hermione…" He was at a loss again. It hurt to see her like this, and he did the best he could to comfort and reassure her. "You know I'm here no matter what. Every step of this journey, I'm here. No matter the endeavors, I'm here. I will always be by yours and our little cub's side."

That statement seemed to make her smile, and a swell of fulfillment fell over Severus.

"Little cub," she lightly chuckled through her soft tears. "I like that."

"Yeah?"

Hermione closed her eyes. "Mmhmm."

She leaned back into his touch as he continued to massage her neck. Severus leaned over her, pressing a hovering kiss on her lips. Upon pulling back, he looked into her big doe eyes, reveling in the overwhelming amount of love and appreciativeness he found there.

He began to pull her up to stand with him, keeping her close to his chest. They held each other tightly in each other's embrace, savoring the heat of the other's body. They shared a few peaceful minutes, only accompanied by the sound of the crackling of the fire and soft patter of snow against the windows. 

Severus returned to his knees, face level with her abdomen, and brought his hands up to hold on to her waist lightly. Hermione's hands fell back to his dark locks, brushing away the strands of hair that fell in his face. 

Severus nuzzled his hooked nose right where their child was growing inside her womb, elated with the fact that he would be a father in about six-and-a-half months. 

Soon, he began kissing where his nose was last, and with every kiss he placed on her belly, he silently made a promise to their baby.

I promise never to be like my father. 

I promise to love and provide, always.

You shall want for nothing. 

I promise to always be here for you, no matter the circumstance.

Severus continued until both Hermione, and himself lost track of time. When he looked back up at his witch, he could see all of her adoration and gratitude amongst the love written all over her pretty countenance.

Ever since they had started trying for a baby, Severus knew that Hermione would be an exceptional mother. She had practically mothered her two idiot friends growing up, and it was in her nature. Not to mention the positive and loving upbringing she had, something Severus did not.

While he was ecstatic about the growing baby inside his wife, he couldn't stop the ever-mounting anxiety that gripped at his insides. He had already vowed never to become his father, and he wouldn't. What worried and scared him the most was that he believed himself unlovable. Yes, Hermione had reassured him that he was, in fact, lovable, and he accepted that even though he still had his doubts, but to a child. An innocent child couldn't possibly love him. 

Severus also didn't know precisely how to be a father; he was coarse and sarcastic most of the time. Something that Severus did know how to do was to provide. He had enough money stored away that his little family could live comfortably should neither Hermione nor himself wish to work another day. Protection and financial support were easily achievable. The other things that came with being a father, well, he wasn't as confident. 

He had worked with children on a near-daily basis for years when Hogwarts was in session. While he didn't particularly enjoy it, raising a child of your own had to be different. Right? 

There was no doubt in his mind that their child would grow up to be well mannered and polite, especially with Hermione as their mother. She was understanding and awfully compassionate where he was not. His pretty witch had been the one who taught him how to love. But that was with her; he had no idea how to do so with an infant. Hell, he barely knew how to reciprocate love towards people other than Hermione. Though he needn't worry, Hermione would be with him every step of the way. He was beyond grateful to have this beautiful, loving witch in his life.

"Have you been experiencing any morning sickness?" Even though he didn't witness anything of the sort, he knew it was a common symptom of pregnancy. 

"Yeah, a bit."

"You should've told me, and I could've brewed a morning sickness potion for you. And how, in Merlin's name, did you hide that from me?"

"I cast a silencing charm on the bathroom so that you wouldn't be able to hear me." Hermione turned away, her face pink in embarrassment.

Severus took hold of her chin with his long fingers, bringing her gaze back to him. "You know, things like that don't bother me. I could've held your hair back for you or rubbed your back, just been there for you. Let me help next time, okay?"

"Okay," she let out a defeated sigh.

He stood up to hug her again. "You know, this is the best Christmas present I could ever receive, besides you agreeing to marry me, of course. It's going to be quite hard to top next year," he smirked.

She playfully smacked him on the back of the head. "Oh, shut it! It took me so long to convince you that you weren't too old for me! Besides, you haven't the slightest idea what I may pull off next year." 

"That may be right, my lioness, but the fact remains that this is more than I could've ever believed possible. I love you."

Hermione kissed him passionately, taking pleasure in the taste of his mouth against her own. When their kiss ended, they pulled away the slightest bit so that their lips were barely touching. "I love you too, Severus."

"You make life worth living, my love."

They stayed like that for some time, holding on to each other and imagining when they would finally be able to hold their baby in their arms. 

When Hermione's eyes started to flutter closed in exhaustion again, Severus spoke. "I'll brew you that nausea potion tonight so you can take it in the morning. It won't take long. Why don't you go up to bed and rest?"

"I don't want to go to sleep without you," Hermione pouted. 

"Stubborn witch," he teased as he reached his hands under her buttocks so he could carry her to bed. Hermione's legs automatically wrapped around his thin waist as he began to move towards their bedroom, the fire and lighted holiday decor ignored. 

Upon entering their bedroom, Severus gently laid Hermione down on her bedside. He quickly stripped down to his boxers before joining her on the soft mattress. Thank god he had thought to light a fire in their bedroom fireplace before he had woken her up, else there would be an uncomfortable chill about the room. 

With Severus settled in next to her, Hermione automatically snuggled into the heat radiating from his body. Severus did the same, reaching an arm around her to pull her closer while the other snuck between them to rest on her tiny bump. 

Before she had the chance to fall asleep, Severus told her to look up. He had conjured some mistletoe above the bed. 

Hermione laughed and hid her face in his armpit. "You really need to stop conjuring mistletoe every chance you get. You don't need any excuses to kiss me, you know."

When she came out of her place of hiding, he noticed the flicker of the fire in her alluring eyes. Without so much a thought, he leaned down and kissed her again, long and sweet.

Hermione laid her head back on his chest and closed her eyes. Severus kissed her forehead one last time as she drifted off into a slumber, smiling as he did so.

A father. How he got so lucky to start a family, and with this brilliant witch, he did not know. Maybe he did deserve it, to feel this euphoria, to be content and happy. 

He didn't know precisely how to rear a child, but by the gods, he would do the best he could. Hermione would always be there with him, he knew, supporting him as they started on this new path in their lives. 

Right now, as he held Hermione and their growing child against him, nothing else mattered. Once again, this witch had gifted him with a new meaning in his life.

This year, Christmas meant more to him than it ever had in his whole lifetime. And, come this time next year, they would have a new infant to celebrate with as well. He reflected on how his life had made a drastic turnaround from what it had been before he met Hermione. Going from being miserable and empty to living life to the fullest with his beautiful witch was something he would never take for granted. He wouldn't have it any other way.

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart. Thank you for this. For everything that you've done. Words cannot express how much I love you." With that, he closed his own eyes, falling into a peaceful slumber filled with dreams of Hermione and a little girl who adored her father.