Wolfstar one shots

Something was vibrating under his cheek. A second later something was poking on his shoulder. Remus slowly opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was a table ruined with different drawings and little texts. Remus furrowed his brows and something poked his shoulder again. 

“Remus,” Sirius hissed and Remus quickly pushed himself up with his hands. 

Did he just fall asleep during a class? He glanced at the table again, the surface still vibrating under his hands. His phone was ringing and the second Remus saw the caller ID he grabbed the phone to his hand and pressed it to his ear. 

“Hello?” he said and turned around in his seat, he crouched down a little and thanked the fact he was sitting in the last row of the classroom. 

“Remus, hi,” Alice said and Remus could immediately pick up on the worry in her voice. What was going on? Remus knew he shouldn’t have taken Teddy to the daycare today. The night had been a hell, probably the reason why he had fallen asleep earlier. Teddy had woken up several times crying during the night and nothing had seemed to help. Remus had tried to feed him but Teddy had refused to even take the bottle to his mouth. He had changed his diaper, but Teddy had still cried and cried. In the morning when Remus had gotten them both ready Teddy had been fine. He didn’t feel warm, he didn’t seem to have a cold. The only odd thing had been Teddy still refusing to eat which had caused him to cry. But still against all his instincts he had dropped Teddy off at Alice and went to school. 

What kind of father does that? What kind of father puts himself first? Remus didn’t want to miss school if he didn’t absolutely need to. It had only been two weeks since he started in Hogwarts, so he really tried to keep up the act at least for a month. 

“What’s wrong?” Remus whispered as he glanced around and saw more people turning to look at him. He glanced at Sirius next who was looking at him too with a worried expression. 

“Oh, Remus, it's nothing too terrible. I just got a feeling Teddy has an ear infection which is totally common for babies,” Alice said on the other line. Remus could tell Alice tried to play it off, so Remus wouldn’t start panicking. But the sinking feeling was already in Remus’ stomach. He squeezed his eyes shut and breathed through his nose. 

“Fuck, I knew I shouldn’t have dropped him off, fuck-.. Oh I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll be there in ten, okay?”

“Remus don’t blame yourself, these things happen. Kids get sick during the day all the time. It’s not your fault”

Remus nodded his head, but Alice’s words didn’t make him feel any better. 

“Mr. Lupin”

Remus' shoulders stiffened as he heard his teacher call his name. He slowly turned around, the phone still in his ear. Their teacher was standing in front of their desk, arms crossed over her chest. 

“Sorry, Alice I have to go, I’ll be there,” with that Remus ended the call and turned to look at their teacher, she didn’t look too happy with him. 

“Care to explain what you are doing?”

Remus bit the inside of his cheek. If someone hadn’t been looking at him earlier, they sure as hell were now. 

“Um, speaking on the phone?”

He watched as her expression got more angry. During the two weeks in Hogwarts Remus had learned their history teacher was very strict. She tried to play nice, but failed more times than she didn’t. It made history all the worse. 

“I could see that myself, Mr Lupin, but why? Personal calls should be made on breaks,” Remus fought the urge to roll his eyes. He did know that and it wasn’t like he had purposely interrupted her teaching. 

“I’d rather not tell,” Remus heard people around the class laugh and he tried not to smile. He wasn’t one to get in trouble, but wouldn’t pass on moments like these. “And if you don’t mind I really need to leave,” he was already gathering his things and getting up from his seat. 

“And why would you have to do that?”

Because my child is sick? Remus looked at Ms Ellis and tried to deduce if she had kids herself. Would she understand? Or is she really as insensitive as she seems.  

“Personal,” he ended up saying and was already on his way to the door with slow steps. Ms Ellis furrowed her brows and looked like she was second away from yelling. 

“Detention, Mr Lupin, “ she announced and Remus wanted to scream. He couldn’t do detentions, because that would mean he has to stay after school. And that just didn’t work with Teddy. 

“Great, see you in there,” Remus still ended up saying before slipping out of the room. He breathed out through his mouth and glanced at the time. He would not be there in ten as he had said to Alice. 

As he had made his way out of the building his phone vibrated in his pocket. 

Sirius Black:

MAAAAAAATE??????

Oh great.

During those two weeks Remus has become sort of friends with Sirius, James and Peter. They didn’t spend time together outside of school, mostly because Remus didn’t have time. Barely even texted beside Sirius who sent him random text during the day. Remus found himself not minding. The three guys were okay, Remus liked them. They were all easy going and being around them wasn’t too exhausting. Except with Sirius from time to time, who just has a bit too much energy for one guy. But Remus didn’t really blame him for it, because Sirius was also the one who Remus could tell saw through him. He could tell the other boy saw through his lies when he said he had work after school and couldn’t hang out because of it. Luckily none of them had asked him where he worked. Remus didn’t want to increase the number of lies he was already throwing around. 

He was a shitty friend and he was more than aware of it. 

He would answer Sirius later. 

-

So as guessed Teddy did have ear infection on his right ear. When Remus had picked Teddy up he had been warm to touch.Remus had made his way straight to the doctors where they had confirmed Alice’s guess. The doctor has also said, like Alice did too, that it was common for babies to get ear infections, but also that they healed on their own. 

And it was horrible. Because Remus couldn’t do anything about it. He could see Teddy was in pain, trying to pull on his ear and the only thing Remus could do was to give him painkillers, the small amount he was allowed to get. 

It was the next day and the doctor had said it would ease after three. Remus really hopes it will.   

“I know, Teds, I know,” Remus tried to reassure Teddy as he hugged Teddy close to his chest. He glanced at the time. It has only been three hours since he gave Teddy medicine so he couldn’t give him any more. Teddy’s fever from yesterday had luckily gone away and he was only a little bit warm. But the ear seemed to bother the small boy and Remus just tried to believe the doctor when he had said it was normal for babies to be tearful and cry especially during the night. It didn’t mean Remus liked it. 

“I’m sorry, pup, Daddy is so so sorry,” Remus said again and tried to not get emotional, knowing very well Teddy would just get more upset then. Last night had gone in a fog with Remus taking care of Teddy and worrying about Teddy. And on the side he had scolded himself for being such a shitty dad. 

And he hadn’t answered Sirius who had sent four other messages after the first one. 

Remus sat down on the end of his bed and reached for his phone on top of the duvet. With his other hand around Teddy and another one holding his phone he went to open Sirius’ messages. 

Sirius Black:

12:37

MAAAAAAATE??????

13:01

remus? everything alright? you seemed upset?

you're a legend btw, your answers to ms ellis were top tier lol

14:24

hope everything is fine like text me or something yeah?

22:48

Sorry for bothering you and shit im just worried…

Remus groaned and threw the phone back on the bed. He moved to rest his back to the wall and put Teddy on his lap, wrapping a secure arm around Teddy’s tummy. He got the phone again and stared at Sirius’ messages. What was he supposed to answer?

Heyyy my kid got sick lol, see you next week?

Teddy seemed interested in his phone and raised his arm to tap on the screen with his small fingers. 

“Oh wow, no let’s not send Sirius any accidental messages, yeah?” he took Teddy’s fingers off the screen and the small boy let out a whine. “Uh huh, don’t start mister,” Remus said jokingly and pressed a kiss to Teddy’s baby curls. 

“Couldn’t you just introduce yourself to my mates, hmm?” Remus asked and turned Teddy around in his lap. “Hello I’m Teddy Lupin and this idiot here is my father,” it was as if Teddy had understood what he had said as he gave Remus a frown. Remus laughed which was the best feeling after such an awful two days. “No? Well okay then. You’re a tough audience, you know that?”

Then he turned back to his phone with a sigh. He’d just better get it done and out of his mind. 

15:13

Hey, sorry I ignored you. Something came up.

Then Remus stopped and stared at the message. Later or sooner he would have to tell his new friends about his whole situation. Wouldn’t it be easier? To just get over it. 

I’ll explain it all next week in school, okay?

Remus closed the phone and threw it on the bed and looked at Teddy again who was busying himself with Remus’ sweater. He was pulling at it with his fingers. Remus ran a hand through his hair and tested his forehead with his palm. Teddy didn’t feel too warm. 

“We will survive this all together, right?”

-

Remus won’t in fact survive this. It was monday. During the weekend Teddy had gotten a lot better and by Sunday evening he was back to normal. Remus was glad and felt like he could finally breathe again. 

Now, Remus wasn’t sure if he actually wanted to breathe anymore. He was making his way to school, rather slowly, because he knew the second he got to school he would probably have to tell everything to Sirius. 

If he wasn’t late. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell Sirius. For some reason he actually wanted to tell Sirius and be honest with him. He didn’t really know why and he didn’t have the time or energy to think too much about it. But to be honest Remus was also scared as fuck. 

Because what if Sirius reacted the same way everyone else did. Or if Sirius didn't, but James and Peter eventually did, Sirius would for sure take his friend’s side. And Remus wouldn’t really blame him for it. 

Like c’mon the random guy who just showed up to your school who has a child or two of your best friends? 

“Hey,” Remus turned to look to the side and took his earphones off as he saw Sirius. Who was leaning against the school wall. A week ago Remus had found a route to the school which was a bit suspicious, seeing as it led him behind the school, but it was also severally quicker than the normal routh so Remus didn’t complain. 

Remus was confused first why Sirius was behind there too until he saw the burning cigarette between his fingers. 

“Hi,” Remus said and stopped a couple of steps away from Sirius. It was followed with an awkward silence. Sirius took a drag out of the cigarette and Remus turned his gaze to the ground as the familiar smell reached him. 

It was pathetic, but Remus missed smoking cigarettes. It had been the hardest thing to quiet out of all his unhealthy habits. He had really stopped just a month before Teddy’s birth. He had thought that if he weren’t going to do it for his own health then he should at least do it for his son’s. 

“You want some?” Sirius asked and offered the cigarette to him. Remus stared at the burning end, but then blinked his eyes and shook his head. 

“No thanks, I don’t smoke”

Sirius raised his eyebrows, “Really? You seem like the type to smoke,” Remus didn’t really know how that could be sensed off him, but struggled. 

“Yeah, I quit like seven months ago”

Sirius looked at him and then nodded his head like he was impressed. “To think you’re like sixteen and already quit smoking. Sounds wild”

Remus knows Sirius didn’t mean it, because he didn’t know. But Remus still kinda winced at his words. If he just knew the whole story. Which he in a minute was about to. Remus thought that if he was going to tell the story, he could just really tell the whole thing. Really give Sirius a reason to back off if he wanted. 

“About that. I promised to explain my behaviour from last week”

Something like panic flashed on Sirius’ eyes as he whipped his head to the side to look at him. 

“Oh fuck, are you- do you like have a lung cancer or-”

“No, no,” Remus interrupted him before Sirius could overthink it. “Thank fuck, no”

Sirius breathed out and tossed the cigarette to the ground before stepping on top of it. 

“Mate, you scared me”

“Uhh, sorry, but I really do have some explaining to do and I figured I should just start from the beginning,” Remus checked the time from his phone. “Are you in a hurry to class? This might take some time.”

Sirius didn’t even check the time himself before shaking his head.  

“Okay, um, so,” Remus didn’t really know how to start. His story wasn’t necessarily light hearted and funny. Not the beginning at least. “So, my mom died of cancer when I was fourteen-”

“Oh my god, and here I was talking about cancer. Sorry mate,” Sirius interrupted him but then motioned for Remus to carry on. 

“It’s alright, but um, yeah. Well after that things weren’t that good for me. Like mom passing away really broke me and, well everything felt like shit. And then I tried to find a way to ease that pain, but not in the best way. Or well at the time it felt like the best one. So I started drinking and taking whatever drugs I could get my hands into. Most of the time it was just weed.. But well, let’s just say that I’ve tried some harder stuff too”

Sirius was quiet just staring at him. His impression was completely neutral so Remus kept going. 

“Well that went on for a while and after like half an year of stuffing my head with everything to make everything less painful, I also found out that.. Umm, that sleeping around was pretty great too”

Remus had never told this to anyone before and he really didn’t know why he was telling it to Sirius. Like of course he had talked with several social workers, but it was always about Teddy and stuff. Somehow Remus never got caught with any of the things he did and he did a lot of things while high. 

“Wait- you were fourteen and using drugs and alcohol and also sleeping around” Sirius said as a confirmation to what he just heard. Remus cringed at his words, but it was the hard truth. And there was no denying it. 

“Yeah. And I know it sounds awful, but please just keep listening”

Sirius nodded his head. 

“So yeah, there I was doing.. well the things you just said. That went on till last year like… june? And then I met this girl and, I wouldn’t say that we liked each other or anything else like that. We just fucked, because it was fun. And because neither of us really cared we didn’t bother with umm.. With protection”

Remus could tell by Sirius' expression that he knew where the story was going. Remus ran a hand through his face. It wasn’t that Remus regretted Teddy or choosing to keep him. He just wasn’t proud of everything that led to him having Teddy. 

“And I don’t know I probably though my fucking sperm was like infertile from all the junk I had put into my body,” Remus sighed and didn’t even dare to look at Sirius. “Well you probably guessed it already, but well.. It sure as hell wasn’t so. So next thing I hear is that the girl was pregnant. With my child”

It was followed with silence. Remus not really knowing how to keep going, but he was in a way thankful Sirius wasn’t saying anything. 

“And that fucked me all over again. So I just went even more crazy with the smoking and drinking and everything else. Funnily enough I was still smart enough to calm down with all the shagging,” Remus wasn’t even trying to hold back anymore. There was really no point with it at this point. “Well the girl decided that she didn’t want to keep the baby and I respected that. At that point I hadn’t even thought about it. But then suddenly she wanted to keep the baby and I still didn’t react to it in any way. I was stupid and somehow thought that the whole thing didn’t affect me. As if I wasn’t the one who knocked her up,” Remus let out a bitter laugh, so happy that part of his life was behind him. “But well, when the girl was seven months pregnant, so this years february, she decided that she out of sudden didn’t want to keep the baby anymore”

Remus heard how Sirius let out a vague noise, but Remus still couldn’t get himself look at him. 

“And then something just hit me. I just thought like, what the fuck am I doing. I’ve gone to every single one of her doctor's appointments, no matter how shit I’ve felt. Like I even tried to stay sober those days. I saw the growing human with my own eyes and when she started talking about adoption I- I just couldn’t take it,” then suddenly Remus just turned to look at Sirius who looked at him right back. There was no judgement in Sirius' eyes. No matter how closely Remus tried to look for it. It almost made the ache on Remus’ chest go away. 

“So I just told her I would keep the baby. And with that I just decided to quit. All of it and even to this day I’m surprised I was able to really stop all the smoking and drinking. Though the cig’s were the hardest,” Remus dared to smile a little. “I actually smoked my last cigarette on my birthday this year. And then well a month later the baby was born”

Remus let out a breath and in turn waited for Sirius to say something. He took his time. 

“Wow, that’s.. Fucking hell. That was a lot”

“I’m sorry,” Remus immediately said and Sirius immediately shook his head. 

“No, that’s not what I meant I just- well first of all I’m really sorry. Like that's really rough. But I’m glad you’re okay now? Right?”

Remus nodded his head. He’d say he is alright now. He has Teddy and as sappy as it sounds, Teddy does make his life worth living. 

“I don’t really know what to say, to be honest. Like I’m not judging you or anything. We all have our personal hell’s, yours just seemed to be a bit more bigger than most people’s,” then Sirius paused and bit his lower lip. “Okay, like hit me if my question is dumb or something, but are-.. Is the mother still in the picture?”

Remus answered quicker than he even had expected himself, “Oh yeah no,” but then he stopped. No matter how much Remus might not understand the decisions Emma had made she was still Teddy’s biological mother. 

”I mean no, she’s not part of Teddy’s life. It was all kind of messy,” Remus said, rather than talk about it. 

“Teddy?” Sirius asked, grinning. Remus felt his cheeks get warm and he nodded. 

“Yeah, his name is Teddy, or well it’s Edward but I- yeah Teddy,” Remus stammered. He didn’t know why he was acting like an idiot. 

“Cute name,” Sirius said with a smile. 

Remus grinned, “Well he’s a cute baby,” that was probably what every parent said about their baby, but Teddy really was. Before Teddy Remus had always thought babies, especially newborns, looked like baked potatoes with their screaming wrinkled faces. But Teddy was cute as fuck with his huge brown eyes and short baby hair that had started to curl the older he got. 

“I bet he is,” Sirius said and Remus swore he could see him look him up and down quickly before his eyes widened and he looked away. Remus raised his eyebrows at that. 

“I- I mean ‘cause like babies and.. and all,” Sirius rambled and Remus smirked. 

“Hmm no he’s definitely cuter than any baby you’ve ever see”

Sirius smirked too, the awkwardness from earlier gone. “A bit biassed coming from you don’t you think?” 

Remus raised his hands up in defense, “I mean I’m just defending him seeing as he can’t yet. You’ll see,” Remus stopped realising what he just said and shook his head. “I mean you don’t have to meet him of course, I don’t know why I-“

“Ahh stop, Remus,” Sirius said and waved his hand around. “Of course I want to meet him. You’ll so have to take him with you when you come and hang out with us”

Remus looked at Sirius. “You sure? I mean I’m not that fun to be around. With the baby and all”

“Nah, you’ll surely come and hang out with us and also bring him. It’s not like we’ll be smoking weed- Ah sorry, that was a bit too much”

Remus chuckled. It wasn’t like he was going to go back to his old habits if someone mentioned alcohol and weed. He didn’t want Sirius to walk on eggshells because of him. 

“It’s fine, but yeah I sure hope not”

Sirius grinned, “Besides I’m sure James’ mom would love to watch over Teddy sometime”

Remus didn’t know how he felt about other people taking care of Teddy. He was okay with Alice and the other nurses in daycare, because he knows them. But still Remus nodded his head. 

“Yeah, I guess. We will see”

Sirius smiled. 

“But like all jokes aside. I’m not judging you or anything. Did I expect you to tell me you’re a parent? Well, no, not really. But it’s cool, really”

“Thanks,” Remus breathed out. It had all gone better than he had expected. 

“Like I’m literally inbred and my parents kicked me out when I was fifteen,” Remus whipped his head around, his mouth hanging open. Sirius let out a laugh. “ So I’m not really one to judge, am I?”

Remus just stared at him in shock, but then realised how rude he was being. “Oh sorry, I- you- what?”

Sirius laughed again, “Yeah my parents are cousins, but it’s actually kind of normal in our family”

“And the kicking out?” Remus carefully asked. Just because Remus was spilling out his secrets, didn’t mean Sirius had to. 

“Oh just my mother being herself. No but we just, well my parents were pretty abusive and it was a lot of things piled up that lead to it. But I live with James now, so it’s all good”

Remus nodded his head slowly, “You seem pretty okay with it”

Sirius just struggled, “Yeah I am, sort of. Therapy really helps with that,” then he smiled slightly. “I’m not saying you need it, but I’m sure it could ease.. some things” 

Remus cracked a smile, “Trust me, I would definitely need it, but I have no time or money so”

Sirius nodded his head, not pushing the subject any more. 

“Um, but this all didn’t really explain your running away last week,” Sirius carefully said and Remus realised that he really had forgotten all that. 

“Oh yeah, that. Teddy had an ear infection so I had to go and get him from daycare, but he’s all good now”

“Ahh,” Sirius said and nodded his head. “Well that explains the cursing and your suspicious behaviour”

Remus hummed, “Yeah. I love Teddy with everything I have, but people don’t usually react positively when you tell you’re a teen parent. No matter how cute your baby is. That’s actually the reason why I changed school”

“Aw, mate I’m sorry,” Sirius said and sounded genuine sorry. 

“Don’t be, it’s not your fault,” Remus just brushed it off. 

“I’m glad you’re here, really,” Sirius said and nudged him with his elbow. “Like, I promise you James and Peter will react well. Peter might take some time to come around, but mostly because he’s a bit slow,” Sirius joked. “I mean if you wanna tell them, no pressure”

And Remus wanted to, because he wanted to have friends who he could be honest with. And to be honest telling Sirius had actually felt really good. He wasn’t going to tell James and Peter everything he had told Sirius. Most likely just the important parts. 

“This has been lovely, really,” Sirius said and for the first time glanced at his phone. “But we are already twenty minutes late, so we should probably go”

Remus nodded his head and then they started walking towards the front door. 

“Now, now before we go, show me some baby pictures!” Sirius said with a grin. And who was Remus to tell him no, so he opened his phone and showed a picture from last week Alice had sended him from the daycare. In the picture Teddy was on his stomach, holding himself up with his hands and smiling widely. 

Sirius cooed at the picture and then glanced at Remus and then back to the picture. “Are you sure you just didn’t clone yourself? But he really is cute as hell, you weren’t lying”

Remus laughed and then pointed to the picture. “Teddy has just learned to hold himself up and,” Remus zoomed the picture to Teddy’s mouth where two small teeth could be seen, “His first two teeth just pushed through. Which is great for him but kind of awful for me,” Sirius was staring at him instead of the picture and Remus felt how the words got stuck in his throat. “Because- uh, because his gums are itchy and painful, so he bites. And now that he has teeth it hurts surprisingly much” 

Sirius let out a laugh, “You’re such a dad,” Sirius teased. 

And maybe Remus was, but it felt surprisingly nice to finally get to talk about it. Sirius also seemed genuinely interested which meant no good, because Remus probably won’t be able to shut up about Teddy from now on. 

He finally got all the instagram mom’s who showed off every little thing their child did.