Wolfstar one shots

It was warm

Remus kept his eyes closed and hummed. It was really pleasantly warm, in fact it was that pleasant he could think of just staying there, laying with his eyes closed.

Wait

Why is it warm?

Now that Remus thought about it something warm was pressing into his side and there was for sure pressure on his chest.

Oh shit

Why can’t he remember anything? Last night, what did he do last night? Remus slowly opened his eyes and glanced down. The only thing he could see was black hair coming out of the blanket that was covering him and

Sirius?

Fuck

Right, so last night. Nothing had happened. So why the fuck was he under the covers with Sirius’ head on his chest?

But then he remembered how Sirius had begged him to not go away, because apparently it would have been mean.

Whiny bitch

So Remus had stayed and promised himself he would just lay there until Sirius fell asleep and then go to the sofa to sleep. Great plan, wasn’t it? Or more like great execution…

He looked down at Sirius again and for some reason he had an urge to touch his hair because… well it was soft. And Remus liked it, okay?

He needs to get Sirius out of his house

Like right now.

He was just about to somehow get out of the bed without waking Sirius when he moved, Remus stilled. He made this small noise, like a whine and moved his head upwards in a way that let Remus see his face.

Fuck, he looked so calm. His face was relaxed and his lips were turned up a little bit which didn’t really happen when he was awake.

He looked beautiful, and Remus is down bad isn’t he? This isn’t good, not at all, this was not supposed to happen. This had never happened before. Remus didn’t even remember the last time he had a crush on someone. It didn’t happen, because he didn’t let it happen.

But now it had happened and it was bad. Like really bad, because it was Sirius. He was a jerk and someone who Remus absolutely hated. Well clearly he didn’t, but he should.

Then suddenly Sirius head rose

“Are you okay?” his voice was rough of sleep and it went straight to Remus’ crotch. Which didn’t really work, because at the same time he looked pretty adorable. His hair was messy from sleeping and his eyes weren’t fully open.

“Umm”, Remus felt like choking on the air that went to his lungs. “Yeah, why?”

Sirius pressed his head back to his chest and his voice came out muffled.

“Your heart is beating really quickly”

No shit sherlock

Remus didn’t know what to answer so he didn't. Instead he rose up a little bit so he could lean on the wall behind him. What he didn’t think through was Sirius moving lower by his movement and now his head was resting on his stomach and it made him stiffen.

It was stupid. Out of nowhere he felt like he was a little school boy, who had never touched anyone in his whole life. Sirius made him nervous and it was fucking awful.

Maybe it was the fact that he had never slept with someone in the same bed.

If you didn’t count Marlene, but that’s different.

It was shocking to feel Sirius pressed to him. He didn’t know what to do with his body starting from his arms that were awkwardly on his sides, as far away from Sirius as he could keep them, without it seeming like he was holding his arms as far away from Sirius as he could.

“Are you nervous?” Sirius asked and he could feel him smirking on Remus’ skin.

“No”, he said, but it sounded hesitant. Remus cursed himself under his breath.

Sirius hummed and brought his own hands to Remus’ bare sides and moved them up and down.

This wasn’t very Sirius either. Usually he was rough with his moves and not this.. Nice? Yeah Sirius wasn’t nice, he was mean on purpose. Okay maybe not necessarily mean, but rude and self-absorbed. This person running his blunt nails on his skin wasn’t either of those.

“It’s okay”, Sirius said in a small voice and kept moving his hands up and down again and again.

“I’m not!” he claimed and tried to play it cool until Sirius fingers reached his waist. That’s when Remus quickly took a hold of Sirius’ both wrists to stop him.

“I think you should leave”, he blurted out before he could feel bad about it or do anything else.

“Oh”

Sirius looked surprised and almost hurt, but quickly recovered from it and got up from the bed to gather his clothes Remus had set down on his chair last night.

“Yeah right, I don’t know what- yeah”, he pulled his shirt over his head and looked for his shoes, quickly tying his Dr Martenses.

“I can help you out”, Remus said and got up too and tried to look for a shirt himself.

“No need to”, Sirius said and stomped out of the room, but turned around before closing the door. He was about to say something, mouth hanging open before he closed it again and walked out of Remus’ room.

-

“You did what?”

Remus flobbed face first to Marlene’s bed. He let out a groan before turning around. He could smell the familiar sweet scent on her sheets, the same scent you could smell when you hugged her. Marlene’s house and room has always felt like a safeplace to him, a place where he could breathe a little bit easier. No wonder why he came over so often.

“I don’t really know which part that question was for”, Remus muttered. He was embarrassed. Kicking Sirius out like that didn’t anymore seem like a good idea. If he was honest it never had seemed like a good one, but it just happened because he, well he..

He panicked.

But it was so wrong because Sirius had clearly been funerable at that moment. Who would've guessed it could be possible, Sirius being funerable. Not Remus for sure.

“You really kicked him out?” Marlene asked and stared at him. He didn’t dare to say anything so he just nodded.

“You’re an idiot, you know that right?”

Remus groaned again and pressed one of many pillows from Marlene’s bed to his face.

“I know!”

“No Remus I don’t think you do”, Marlene said and sat down on the bed too. She pulled the pillow away from his face. “He texted you last night from a random party, because he was clearly upset. Just so you know, if you didn’t gather that already”

“I know!”

She smacked him with the pillow, “I’m not done talking”

Remus raised his hands up and signed her to keep talking

“Then he cried. Cried! Because he didn’t want to go home-”

“He was drunk and high”

He got smacked again with a pillow

“Shut the fuck up Remus, did I say you can interrup me?”

Remus rolled his eyes, “Sorry, mom”

“He cried, I don't care what his situation was, but he cried, because he was scared you would make him go home”, she looked at him and Remus nodded his head to let her know he understood.

“And the next morning when you guys wake up, let me point out cuddling under your blanket”, Remus opened his mouth, but Marlene pointed her finger at him. “He was being sweet, like for the first time and then you”, she took a break from talking to cover her face with her hands. “You fucking kicked him out!”

Marlene shook his head and looked at him behind her fingers.

“You’re an asshole Remus Lupin”

“Tell me something I didn’t already know”

She got up and crouched down to the floor and dug Remus’ phone out of his jacket pocket. That made Remus sit up and he tried to reach for his phone.

“Wow, wait, what are you doing?”

Marlene was already tapping his phone, clearly writing a text

“Don’t you dare to do anything”, Remus warned and got up, but she turned her back to him and walked to the other side of the bed, like they were five years old chasing each other.

“Marlene, stop. Whatever you’re doing, which I know what you’re by the way, so stop”

She quickly tapped the screen and then looked up at Remus grinning.

“There, you can have it back”, she handed the phone to Remus. He quickly went to his Instagram dm’s and to his and Sirius’ conversation.

Can we talk?

Remus looked up to Marlene who was grinning from ear to ear, proud of what she just did.

“Are you fucking serious?”

“No I thought you were”

Remus' mouth dropped open and he took a hold of her wrist pulling her to the bed with him.

“I literally hate you”

“You don’t”

“I will delete it”, Remus muttered and opened the phone again.

“Oh too late”, Marlene sniggered and pressed her head to Remus' shoulder.

“Wha-”, Remus looked at his phone screen where their conversation was still open, but quickly threw his phone to the bed.

Under the message was small text

Seen

Sirius has seen his message, Marlene’s message, whatever and was already writing back.

What will he say? Is Sirius mad at him after all he did? Because he would understand it, he for sure would. It was wrong of him to be like that just because he was scared-

you wanna come over?

What?

“What?!” Marlene yelped and took the phone to her hands.

“Hey give it back”, he said and snatched it back to see Sirius’ message again. Just last night Sirius didn’t want to go home and now he’s asking him to come over. Then Sirius was typing again

no one’s home so i was just thinking

but you don’t have to, it was just a stupid idea

Was Sirius nervous? They really needed to talk, because nothing was making sense.

“Answer him!” Marlene shook his other hand that wasn’t holding his phone. “The poor boy is literally panicking!”

“Okay okay!” he pressed his hand to Marlene’s cheek to push her face away. He quickly typed an answer

Yeah sure I can come over, if you want to. Are you sure though? Cause last night you kinda didn’t want to go home.

i know, remus. no one’s home like i said, i’ll be alone for a while so you can if you want to

Then another message

i think we should talk too…

Marlene smacked his stomach, “Why are you still laying there go go go!”

Remus got up and glanced at the mirror on Marlene’s room's wall. He was wearing dark brown corduroy jeans and a worn sweater. It would have to do, not that it mattered what he was wearing.

“Go on”, Marlene said and smirked. Remus hummed and turned to the door.

“Thanks Marls”, he said and opened the door.

“Love you Remus!”

He smiled and was just about to close the door when he suddenly stopped and turned around. Hand on the doorknob he looked at Marlene.

“I lov-..I”, he just opened and closed his mouth, but Marlene seemed to understand

“I know”, she nodded and gave him a smile

“I really do, you know…”

She nodded again

“Yes, I know. Now go, before I start crying”, she said and ran her hand through her long hair, “Go get your man”

He rolled his eyes and closed the door.

Remus muttered something like ‘he’s not my man’ under his breath after closing the door. But honestly what was Sirius to him?

Guess he will find out sometime soon

-

Why is knocking on to a door so fucking hard? Remus feels like his been standing there for several minutes now without knocking

“Come on”, he muttered to himself and raised his hand to knock on the dark wooden door that looked like it cost more than his whole house… anyways.

The door cracked open just a little bit, enough for him to see Sirius standing on the other side. Their eyes locked and then Sirius opened the door more

“Hey”

“Hi”

Awkward silence.

“Uh I decided to open the door, ‘cause it didn’t seem like you were about to knock anytime soon… so, yeah”

Remus laughed and he tried not to sound as pained as he felt. This was horrible, not because of Sirius but because of him and what he did and how guilt was banging the back of his head with a hammer.

Sirius moved out of the way to let him in so he stepped inside and followed Sirius, let him point out, to the huge staircase and to his room. The silence was painful and he really hoped it didn’t feel like that to Sirius, because it shouldn’t be like that to him.

He should apologise, right? He did wrong so when you do something that hurts other person you apologise and move on with your life

… right?

“Um”

“Um”

He looked up to Sirius who looked right back, but quickly looked down to his hands. He was picking the skin around his nails. Remus wanted to take his hands and hold them, so he wouldn’t pick them to the point they start bleeding.

It’s a habit Remus is way too familiar with.

“Sorry”, he said and looked around the room. Could he sit down? Was it inappropriate?

“You can start first”, he continued.

Sirius himself sat down on the bed behind him and looked down to his hands again. He exhaled quietly, but Remus still heard it, and looked up. He decided to sit down next to him, maybe a little bit too close but Sirius didn’t seem to mind, so he didn’t either.

“I’m sorry”, then he was rambling.

“I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have texted you yesterday or begged you to come to the party. Oh and after that, I’m sorry about that too. I should have just gone home oh and this morning. It was- I shouldn’t have- …look”

Remus was confused. Why was Sirius apologising, when he had done nothing wrong? He didn’t have time to ask before Sirius was talking again.

“I know I made you uncomfortable this morning and I really understand why you wanted me to leave. Really! So no hard feelings, I guess? Like this won’t change anything, unless you want it to and I completely understand if you don’t want to see me ever again. Like I wouldn’t want to see..”

Okay that was enough

”Sirius”

“So it’s fine we can just forget everything…”

“Sirius”

“I don’t even know why I did it I just-”

“Sirius!”

He stopped talking. Their eyes met and Sirius looked sad, like he was about to lose something important to him if he didn’t get to talk and save the situation.

and Remus didn’t like it.

“Why are you apologising?”

Then frustration filled Sirius’ face and he combed his hair on top of his head. Just to let go and let his hair fall on his face. Remus wanted to tug the loose strands away from his face so he did. And this time it was really him and not just his hands having their own mind.

He tugged Sirius’ hair behind his ear and Sirius looked at him. His mouth was hanging open a little bit and his eyes looked curious, and oh, they were so grey and blue and well pretty. Suddenly the situation felt too intimate for Remus' own good so he dropped his hand down and turned his head to stare at the floor.

“Why are you apologising?” he asked again.

“Did you just not listen to what I just said?”

He furrowed his eyebrows, but didn’t dare to look up.

“No I did, I did”, then he looked up, regardless of if he could or not look at Sirius. “I just don’t know why you’re apologising when I was the one acting like an asshole”

He didn’t give Sirius time to protest.

“I should be sorry, and I am in fact sorry. I don’t know why I just kicked you out… or well I do, but it wasn’t too nice of me”

“No it’s fine-”

“It’s not”, he interrupted him, “It wasn’t nice and I shouldn’t have done that, but I did. And all I can really do anymore is say I’m sorry. Cause I am sorry, so can you please forgive me?”

Sirius just stared at him and then he looked down and back up at him until he was nodding his head.

“Yes I can, but Remus why do you… why do you care?”

He couldn’t help but let out a laugh, but he quickly covered his mouth with his hand and shook his head.

“That’s the thing. I don’t know and I really hope I could, ‘cause I’m about to go mad”, was he really about to do this? He had never ever talked about his feelings and now suddenly he was? What was he even about to say when he didn’t know his feelings for sure either. But it’s Sirius, fuck, who would have guessed? Sirius Black out of all people would mean something for him.

“First of all I’m pretty glad you texted me last night”

“Yeah?” he smiled, Remus nodded.

“Yeah, I just, It just made me feel”

“Made you feel what?”

Remus laughed again

“Emotions? Fuck would I know”, Sirius chuckled and shook his head, but stayed quiet to let him talking.

“So don’t say you’re sorry for texting, ‘cause I don’t want you to be sorry, okay?”

“Okay”

“And this morning I just panicked. Because it was nice, okay? It was nice and I’m not used to nice things. I don’t have nice things in my life. Not much at least, so maybe I thought that I didn’t deserve it and tried to push it away. Push you away.”

“Emotions are a real bitch to me and maybe that’s fucked up, I know it is. But I.. fuck am I really being all soft and shit right now”

Sirius took a hold of his hand and gave it a squeeze,

“I think you are”

“Is it bad?”

He didn’t even think about before answering,

“No I think it suits you”

“Well shit”, he exhaled and closed his eyes. “Okay, well fuck it. I think I like you Sirius, no I know I like you. And if that’s the stupidest thing you have ever heard than you can just tell me to fuck off and I will, but I like you. I’m not sure about a lot of things in my life, but I’m pretty sure about this one”

Then it was quiet for way too long. Maybe it was just three seconds or thirty seconds, a minute maybe. But it felt like an eternity to Remus. Like one of those lessons where the teacher is talking in front of the class and all you wanna do is either bang your head to the desk or tell the teacher to-

“Can I kiss you?” Sirius suddenly asked. “I really wanna kiss you right now”

And that’s the moment Remus’ brain stopped functioning.

He nodded.

“Yeah?” Sirius smirked and got close enough for their noses almost to touch.

“Yeah”, he whispered. Sirius softly kissed him and oh.. Is that how kissing could feel? No one has ever kissed him as tenderly and like they really meant it. It was sweet and so nice that if Remus could he would just stay in that moment forever.

***

Sirius turned to face him fully and Remus did that too. Then Sirius’ hand came to rest on his hips, squeezing a little. It was nice, more than nice. Sirius’ tongue pushed his lips apart and he let him. His own hands found their way to Sirius neck where he pulled on his hair that felt incredibly soft between his fingers.

Sirius hands moved higher and pulled his sweater up a little bit. Remus pulled back to move his lips to Sirius’ neck. He sucked on the tender skin below his ear and heard how Sirius' breath quickened.

“Can I?” Sirius whispered and took a hold of the hem of Remus’ shirt. Remus nodded

“Yeah”, he lifted his arms up to help Sirius pull the shirt off. The second his shirt was off Sirius climbed on top of him, now straggling his hips. His tongue found Remus’ right nipple and he couldn’t help but let out a desperate moan.

After that it was all just so sweet and slow that it almost drove Remus mad in a good way. They got rid of their clothes piece by piece, stopping to kiss the new exposed skin until they were both naked. On the way their places had changed, Remus now on top of Sirius.

Remus backed off to look at him and it was the first time he really did that. The first time he stopped and looked at Sirius.

And gosh he was pretty.

The small tattoos covering Sirius' skin were beautiful. They were small enough to leave room for his skin to show and Remus stared. He really fucking stared.

His skin was light, not pale like Remus' own skin, but the contrast between the dark ink and light skin made a perfect mix. He had a couple of moles on his chest, one of them above his left collarbone, one next to his right nipple. His skin was warm when Remus traced his fingers from his chest to just below his navel, where a trail of dark hair went down. The hairs were soft and Remus had a weird urge to run his tongue over it, down to between his legs.

“You are beautiful”, he heard himself murmuring. He didn't mean to say it out loud, but oh… was that blush on Sirius’ cheeks?

“Shut up”, Sirius said and turned his head to the side to hide his face. Remus laughed and leaned forward. He pressed his nose to the exposed side of Sirius’ neck.

“Has no one ever called you beautiful before?”

Sirius shook his head a little the same time as he moved his hand to Remus’ hair, fingers stroking through the curls.

“That’s a shame”, he turned Sirius’ head to kiss his lips.

“Please”, Sirius begged. He lifted his hips up from the mattress to bring their hips together. They both let out a sigh.

“Please Remus”, he said again. Remus nodded and moved to the side to get the lube he knew from the last time Sirius kept it in his bedside table. He squeezed some of it to his fingers and moved his hand to between Sirius’ legs, but he took a hold of his wrist.

“No um, I mean don’t need to”, he murmured and looked down to hide blush on his cheeks. Remus smirked but nodded.

“You sure?” he asked, but spread the lube from his fingers to himself.

“Yes, just please do it already”

“Do you have a condom?” Remus asked, because he didn’t have one with him. Because to be honest this wasn’t really what he had expected to happen when he left Marlene’s place earlier.

Not that he was complaining.

Sirius shook his head

“No but um I don’t mind… I mean I haven’t had sex with anyone else than you the past like four months. And I got tested before that and I was clean”, he trailed off and looked at Remus.

“Fine to me if it’s fine to you”, he said and leaned down to kiss Sirius again. “You’re the only one I have had sex without a condom anyways so”

Sirius looked at him and pretended to be shocked. “So you have been fucking other people these past months?”

“No”, Remus murmured and Sirius let out a laugh which turned into a moan when Remus sucked on the skin just under his jaw.

Remus positioned himself and moved so that the head of his cock was just touching Sirius’ entrance. But he stopped and looked at Sirius who let out a frustrated groan.

“Remus I swear to fucking god if you don’t fuck me already I will literally do it myself”

Remus laughed under his breath the same time he pushed in, “I like it when you are all desperate”

“Fuck”, Sirius whined and pressed his nails to Remus’ back. “Clearly gets you going”.

“It does”, he said and started moving at a slow pace.

Sirius' breath was quick and his grip on Remus’ arm even tighter and all Remus tried to do was last. He wanted Sirius to come before he did. And it didn’t take long for him to feel Sirius clench around him.

“I’m close Remus”, Sirius said breathlessly.

“I know”, he pushed deeper in and Sirius let out a moan and then he was coming between them. That almost pushes Remus over the edge too and he was just about to pull out when Sirius’ hands took a hold of his hips.

“No please, I wanna feel you”, he said, eyes almost closed. So Remus stayed and rested his head on Sirius’ chest as the wave of pleasure washed over him.

***

Afterwards they just laid there. Sirius’ head was on his chest and Remus rested his chin on top of his head, smelling the sweet scent from Sirius’ hair. His other hand was drawing patterns on Sirius’ side. It was nice and something that was so new to Remus.

Suddenly he got a thought and he needed to ask Sirius about it.

“Sirius?” he wasn’t sure if the other boy had fallen asleep, but then Sirius shifted a little and hummed to let Remus know he was listening.

“Yesterday at the party.. There was this guy and I think you recognized him”, he felt how Sirius stiffened under his touch. “I don’t know if you remember it, but you seemed really, I don’t know, scared I would say. And I just thought that maybe you would like to talk about it. But no pressure!”

Sirius was quiet for a while and Remus really wished he didn’t make him uncomfortable with his question. Then the other boy sat up and turned to look at him.

“He was my ex or maybe not really ex, but something like that. I came to that party and first everything was fine and I had fun, but then I saw him and he saw me. He came up to me and well said things that made me really uncomfortable and I kind of panicked”

Anger and the need to protect Sirius suddenly fell over Remus. He knew Sirius wasn’t fragile and didn’t necessarily need his protection, but the memory of him last night at the party, the scared look on his face. It made Remus mad.

“He said that he didn't expect to see me there last night. And would really like to go somewhere private so he could…”, Sirius took a breath in before continuing, “so that he could fuck me to freshen up his memories from what I was back then. Good laid or some other bullshit he said, I don’t really remember”

“And normally I wouldn’t really care, I would have just told him to fuck off like I say to any other pervert who tells some shit like that to me. But I know him and the reason I ended things with him was ‘cause he was abusive”

“Sirius..”, Remus said and sat up too, but Sirius quickly put his hand to Remus chest and shook his head.

“No, not like that! He didn’t hit me or anything, he was just really harsh. Grabbing me too hard or well during, um during sex he would do things that hurt me and not stop even if I said I didn’t like it. Overall treat me badly, maybe he was a little bit abusive, but more like mentally abusive. And I was younger than now when I ended things with him. I had just turned sixteen and he was already eighteen, so. And I’m not necessarily a big guy”, he cracked a smile. “So I just let him do that and say things, until James told me to end things with him”

“You do know that your relationship wasn’t legal, right?”

Sirius chuckled, “Oh I know, but anything to piss off my parents”

Remus pulled him closer and wrapped his arms around him.

“I’m sorry”

“No it’s not-”

“I’m still sorry. You shouldn’t have gone through that. But I’m glad it’s over now”

Remus was bad at these kinda situations. It was hard to know what were the right things to say or do, but he really hoped this was enough. He hoped he was enough.

“Me too”, Sirius raised his head up from Remus’ chest to look at him.

“But that’s the reason why I texted you. I told him to go away, but well he wasn’t really happy about that and told me to shut the fuck up. So I told him my, this is kinda embarrassing. I told him that my boyfriend was on his way here, because I knew that was the only way to get him to leave”

“Oh I see”

“And! And the second I had told him that I realised that I needed someone to really come there and James wasn’t an option. ‘Cause you know, he had met James so you were pretty much the only option I had left”

“It’s fine. I’m actually glad”

Sirius looked confused, “Why?”

“Well without last night I wouldn’t be here today. Plus the guy seemed pretty pathetic to me. I would say that even I am more intimidating”

Sirius laughed at that and took a hold of his jaw. “Well I don’t know about that”

“Really? Really? You’re coming at me. You are what, like 5’7?”

His mouth dropped open and he turned away from Remus, “Fuck you I’m like atleast 5’9”

“Wow you’re really a big guy wow”, Remus teased but took a hold of Sirius' hips to turn him around.

They were both smiling when their eyes met.

“So about us?”

Sirius' smile widened.

“Oh, there’s us nowadays?”

Now Remus felt how his cheeks got hotter and he looked down for a second. Did he want this? Everything was so new to him, all this being sweet and well everything. But Sirius didn’t feel new or strange, he felt safe and familiar. And Remus knew there was a lot to work on and a lot to know about each other, but fuck, he really wanted this with Sirius, only with Sirius.

“If you want to?”

“If I want to? Really Remus? I do, I don’t think I have wanted anything as much as I have wanted you since like last month”

So Remus didn’t hesitate, because he wanted it too.

“Yes I want to”

Sirius smiled even wider than he had a minute a go. And he pretty much attacked Remus and pushed him down to lay on the bed. Their lips met and there was so much passion and electricity between them. But Remus had to pull away.

“Are we really doing this?”

“Mhhm”, Sirius said and kissed a trail from Remus’ lips to his neck

“You have to know that I have absolutely no fucking idea what I’m doing. And I will mess up and then beg for your forgiveness and do all that again. And everything I do will be stupid and if I’m being honest I have always thought that love is stupid, so bear with me please”

Sirius raised his head up to look at him.

“Hmm I think I can handle that, not like I’m much better. And you will learn, I will help you. And hey maybe that can be our thing! Two guys who are absolutely the worst with what comes to dating and love. So screw that stupid love”

Remus thought about it. He really wanted it to all work and he was ready to learn and maybe someday he will be ready to love and even say it out loud.

Sirius pulled on the wild strands of curls that were poking to every possible direction on Remus' head.

“Stupid love, I like that”