Love Song

Jayce can pretty much see this story playing out before him as he looks into Viktors eyes. All the hurt from the bullying of his classmates and betrayal of his teacher. All in the span of a few seconds, Jayce decides to scan the rest of his face, but for some reason, looking at all of him seems like too much. Seeing how Viktors features match in perfect harmony on his face makes Jayce feel the need for air. Jayce decides to just look at him from top to bottom, hoping that only focusing on one thing won’t make him hyperventilate. 

Jayce was right, Viktor does have a wolfcut. Since his hair is naturally slightly curly all the edges of his locks flick up and away from his face. The front is pushed back but a few strands fall in front of his face. The hair was naturally a chestnut brown, but at the nape of his neck, it seems Viktor dyed a few chunks of his hair an icy, almost grey color. His eyebrows were the same deep brown and had a hard, defined shape to them. The very front of them had small distress lines curving around them, like they spent too much time pressed together, like they were now. Making a semi circle around the back of his eyebrow was a metallic piercing, little metal bulbs peeking out of the skin. Unfortunately, the first thing that popped into Jayce’s mind was: hot.

Viktor had the typical Czech nose to match with his oddly alluring accent, with a small bump protruding from it when Jayce could get a view of his side profile. The bridge of his nose was crooked though, as if it had been broken before. Jayce found himself wanting to run his fingers down his nose, ask what happened, comfort him. Viktors cheeks were sunken in, like he hadn’t eaten in days. The look made his cheekbones pop out and his jawline all rough edges.

But then Jayce’s eyes drop down to his lips. A little mole rested above one of the corners, matching the one under his eye. Right now one side was notched up, adding to his obviously annoyed expression, but it gave Jayce the perfect view of his sharp, white canines. Jayce can imagine them biting into skin. His skin, marking him. Jesus Christ, Jayce should not be having these thoughts in class. But he couldn’t help wondering what those lips would taste like. The shallow sigh he unconsciously lets out snaps him back to reality.

He’s been just shamelessly staring at Viktors lips for far longer than necessary. When his eyes flick back up to meet Viktors’, there’s even more disgust coming off them. Jayce’s normally bronze completion turns a deep shade of red. He thinks he could die from embarrassment right now. He’s been so obviously pining for Viktor from the second he turned his head and Viktor’s just even more weirded out. He must think Jayce is just some freak. But, god, those eyes. They pierce through him. In front of those eyes, Jayce feels bare, like Viktor can see right into his soul. He didn’t even realise he was leaning into Viktor until he let out a big huff of annoyed air and Jayce could feel the wisps of it against his own mouth, bringing him back to life.

Then, to Jayces’ disappointment, Viktor turns his head back to the front. Jayce isn’t sure why he feels rejection sting through him. He didn’t even ask Viktor anything. He didn’t even utter one word. Not wanting to creep Viktor out, Jayce tears his gaze from the man next to him, forcing most of his attention back to the board. But he stole glances. Glances of pale skin and soft hair. Glances of sharp cheekbones and just the tips of amber eyes. Glances of neck that Jayce could imagine running his lips over. It was only the first day of class and Jayce couldn’t pay attention. If this were to continue there’s no way he’s passing this class with this distraction of a man beside him.

Nearing the end of class, Heimerdinger was already laying out a new project for them.

“Now class, I know most of you believe that we’re beginning this too early, but in my professional experience, particle science is far better learned in a lab than me just speaking in front of you all.” Jayce was getting excited, he’s always excited with the possibility to invent or discover something new, as are most scientists. “Now, I will be emailing each of you your own individual document with the criteria, but I will also go over it now in class just in case I need to clarify.” Heimberdinger continues. “This semester you will be creating an invention to help the less fortunate. You will have to make something that can be genetically modified to help on a nuclear level. This can either be achieved by merging with the authentic human creation, a substance you take to modify the atoms inside the body or any other creative ideas you folks can come up with. Now that you know the project here are some rules. Firstly, this needs to be done within the four months we have together. I know you all think your projects are world changing, but we are not mass producing your inventions and selling them. That would take too much time, money and effort, so you are only expected to make prototypes on the computer. Once the computer proves that your idea could work, you will be given enough materials to make one prototype.” He emphasizes that last part. “So it is really important that your computer model works. Both the model and prototype will be marked, so I need to see both. Now finally,” he claps his hands together “the fun part! The school wants to demonstrate at the end of this semester that we are still the City of Progress, that we still have smart minds pumping out brilliant ideas, so the invention that I deem most worthy will be presented at the end of the semester along with a speech from the headmaster. Now that will surely set a fire under all your butts! Now that’s enough school for one day, I’m sure you’re all very tired so I’ll let you go now, but on your way out please tell me what hours you want for lab time. One of the labs down here I was able to reserve 24/7 for you lot, but it can only hold 5 people at a time. I printed out a sheet so as you come down please write your name next to the days of the week you’d like to be in the lab with hours. If the lab is already full then you have to pick a new day. First come, first serve.”

The students began grabbing their things and shuffling out. They were all obviously eager to leave the building but had to wait in line to write down their names. Jayce wasn’t worried about getting on that list. He preferred to be in the lab in the small hours in the morning, when everyone is sleeping. He knows these sleep deprived students wouldn’t stay up that late unless they were cramming, but they had months to work on this project so none of them would choose the same ridiculous hours Jayce wanted. As much as he was an extrovert, he still preferred to work by himself. He was always nervous someone would notice his weird and unconventional way of getting things done.

Jayce had yet to come up with a groundbreaking invention. Back when his family was still together, his dad would encourage Jayce to learn all about entrepreneurship, like him, so that one day he could become rich like his dad. He brought Jayce to all his business meetings and dinners with various scientists in an attempt to show him what his future would be like. His plan would always backfire though when Jayce started asking them questions about the invention itself. How long did it take to make? Why did you use that material? Why did you make it? He could see these questions annoyed his father, someone who always believed the true value of something was how much money it would make.

Jayce had a good feeling about this semesters’ project though. This school made him have an itch to come up with something, to create something. With all this time and all this new workspace and gadgets, ideas were already popping into his mind. With a new spark lit within him, he jumped from his seat and practically floated down the stairs, then put himself at the back of the line. The line was moving quickly, people eager to write down their hours and leave, but Jayce still found himself bored. This made his eyes flicker back to Viktor, still in the same spot they were before. God Jayce was a mess, his thoughts were spiraling and he couldn’t keep his heartbeat in check

Viktor had pushed some corded headphones deep into his ears and was currently scrolling on the phone they were connected to. One leather-clad boot was propped up on the table as he leaned back. He seemed so unbothered, Jayce only wished he could be that. The pressures of society to do something amazing as Piltover ‘Golden Boy’ have made everything Jayce did seem like a mask. He admired how that boy could put his foot on the damn table as if to say I don’t give a fuck if you think I’m rude or dissrespectful. Jayce loved how Viktor knew his knowledge, his worth, and used it to do whatever he wanted. He never played into the affluents' mean hands except for that one time which Jayce couldn’t even fault him on because he was so young.

Viktor could feel Jayces’ eyes on him. Viktor saw the interest in his eyes. Viktor saw him openly staring at his lips. Viktors only problem was that he hated Jayce. Maybe not the man specifically, but Viktor was so against everything he stood for. The second he had turned his head to look at him, he recognized Piltovers ‘Golden Boy’. Viktor hated rich Piltovians who just threw their money around and the Talis family was known for that. So he had to stuff down the feelings that stirred inside of him under Jayces’ gaze. Those big, begging puppy dog eyes were probably just asking for an apology anyways. But even all these years later, Viktor still can’t find it within himself to forgive.

After his previous mentor stole his idea, he then sold it. If it was still up to Viktor, the first place his invention would be used was the Undercity. Some houses down there still didn’t even have any electricity at all, but for his professor, it was all about the money. He went to a few willing buyers who would implement the new electricity all over the city, but of course he went with the one who was willing to pay the most. That person just happened to be Mr. Talis, the richest man in Piltover. The whole Talis family was well known around both the cities for their insane wealth. The Zaunites hated it but the Topside used them as their mascot.

A few years after Viktors invention was played out of his hands, apparently some big time drama went down in the Talis household, even the media found out. Mr and Mrs Talis got a divorce. According to the paper, it was Ximena who initiated it. That left the whole city wondering, what was so awful about the richest man in the world for his wife to divorce him. Viktor knew the type of person he was though. Someone who bought something he saw as a money dispensary without thinking of searching a little further into its bloody history. In Viktors eyes, they are all power-hungry assholes who don't give a shit where it came from, as long as their pockets stay full. So it doesn’t matter how good Jayce smells, his ideas of him and his family weren’t changing. But he couldn’t shake that itch, like when he discovers something new and needs to study it. Viktor saw that act of kindness and decides he needs to study it.

Eventually Jayce came to the front of the line, the sheet taped to the wall right beside the door with a pen tethered to it with a small piece of yarn. After reflecting on it for a bit, Jayce settled on Mondays 10pm-3am, Wednesdays 10pm-3am and Fridays 10pm-3am. All the hours Jayce chose were completely empty. Figures. But if he has any time in the day, he can just work on it at home since most of the project will be done on the computer anyways. Oftentimes when Jayce is working on something big he doesn’t like taking it home. He likes to keep his work at work. But he only has four months to think of something groundbreaking against all these other geniuses, so he thinks he can make an exception. But what if he can’t, what if he just fades to the back?

Jayce had found his way upstairs when it hit. He feels his saliva go thick and his breath comes out less steady. He knew this was going to happen, but it was the end of the day, why hadn't it happened earlier? Why now, when he was almost out of school. Jayce took himself to a more secluded corner and sat by himself. He could feel that pinch in the back of his throat like he needed to cry and knew that it was going to happen right now. He was going to have a panic attack.

He presses his open hand to his mouth, as if he could push down the lump forming in his throat. God, what was he thinking coming here? To a school full of people way smarter than him? He wasn’t worth all the money his mom put into him coming here. He was going to marinate in the shadows of others smarter and greater that go here. He’s just some stupid boy who thinks he can do something with his life, but he was wrong. Jesus, what was he thinking only putting down his name three times a week for that project. He’d need at least five to make anything worth turning in.

His breaths are shallow and erratic, the world spinning in a blurry whirlwind. He should’ve known this would happen. He’d felt the tension mounting all day, the weight of expectation, the suffocating pressure to be perfect. He’d never truly belonged here. The suffocating thought hits him: Why did I even think I could do this? He wasn’t the genius everyone else was. He wasn’t built for this. He was just some mistake, some idiot trying to keep up with people who were born for this kind of success. He was going to crumble under the weight of it all. The last thing he wanted was to let anyone see him like this. He wasn’t even supposed to be here. His chest tightens, each breath becoming more shallow, and he doubles over, clutching at his chest. I can’t breathe. Just breathe. Focus. Focus, damn it.

When Viktor finally put down his phone to leave, there was no more line and the room was almost empty. Perfect. Viktor was already having a bad day, his leg causing him more pain than usual. He was ready to go home and sit. He grabbed his can and started moving down the stairs. Once he reached the floor he hobbled over to the paper and picked up the pen.

“Hello my boy, I just thought I would take this time to properly introduce myself. I am Cecil Heimerdinger and it is an honour to have you in my class this year Viktor.” Viktor almost lost his footing from the professor sneaking up on him.

“Erm… how do you know my name?” Asked Viktor

“Well, I knew Mr. Singed well,” Viktor slightly flinches at the name of his manipulator “and I know he couldn't come up with something like that all by himself. I did some research on him and his possible collaborators when I stumbled upon a young boy of interest. He had no last name but I found his records none the less. Turns out there was a boy in that class smart enough to get recognized as a person of interest and moved from a Zaun school to a Piltover one. You also had the highest marks in his class, as a matter of fact, you had the highest marks in all of your classes… since grade eight. I don’t want to point fingers or make assumptions, but between you and me, I am honored to have the inventor of nuclear fusion in my class.” Heimerdinger lowers his voice a touch at that last part.

Viktor looks down at his professor in a new light. When the invention first showed up, Singed wasn’t a person of interest. He was barely even a scientist, mainly just some highschool teacher. So when he came up with something that could practically stop climate change, everyone knew something was up. There were some rumors that Viktor had actually come up with it himself, but since Viktor thought he was doing the right thing, he denied those rumors, gave all credits to his teacher. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake again. Without changing his face of indifference, he gave his professor a short nod.

“Thank you, Mr. Heimerdinger.” Then he turned on his heel and walked out of the room.

The second Viktor came up from the basement, he immediately knew something was off. He was already pissed off from the stupid escalator. Escalators are some of the ugliest looking stairs known to man, and this school is so worried about how they look, there’s no way they would have but in this escalator on purpose except for one thing: Viktor. His dysfunctioning leg makes stairs just a touch more difficult, but since he couldn’t go up and down stairs like a normal person, now everyone has to look at this big eyesore. Everybody knows it too, thought Viktor, everybody know that I’m the asshole that can’t walk and they don’t fucking like me because of it. That just made him hate everyone else more.

So, yeah, he was already needing to punch something by the time he got to the top of the stairs, but something made him perk up. Almost like the wind was calling to him, telling him to pay attention. He lifted his eyes from the ground and began walking more slowly, more deliberately to scan the room. He felt his permanent scowl soften. Somewhere, deep within him, he knew something was wrong. He wasn’t sure how, he wasn’t sure if he was going crazy, but he had a gut feeling.

Sure enough, there was Jayce against the wall. His elbows were resting on top of his knees and Viktor could see his chest moving rapidly like he couldn’t get enough air. When Viktor saw his face, he was slightly worried. Jayce has gone white as snow, his eyes unfocused and a hand gripping his mouth shut. Idiot, thought Viktor. Of course he couldn’t breathe properly, his hand was covering his mouth. Viktor could walk out right now, he could leave Jayce here to get a grip and calm down by himself, he could walk out those doors and not think of it for another second. For some reason though, he found himself talking easy strides over to the hyperventilating man.

“Are you okay?” The question came out with more bite than Viktor intended. Jayce’s head immediately shot up, hand still covering his mouth, eyes only slightly watering. He looked so pathetic, Viktor couldn’t help the small smirk that made the corner of his mouth tick up. He reached down and gently removed Jayce’s hand from his own mouth. “You can’t breathe properly if something’s covering your mouth Stupid.” Viktor reprimanded. Ever so gently, he brought his own hand to bring down Jayces’ from his mouth. Jayce obliged, letting his hand drop back into his lap, eyes not leaving Vikors.

Slowly, as he looked into those amber eyes, Jayce’s airflow started to even out. When he was gazing into those eyes he could forget all his worries and focus on how they were the exact color of the sunset right where the earth met the sky. They were that same deep orangy-yellow on the horizon during dusk. Jayce could momentarily forget that he was the black sheep of this school. He could forget the crushing weight of being Piltovers ‘Golden Boy’ and all the great things expected of him. He could forget the awful thing his dad did to Viktor. Because when he looked into his eyes, that’s all he could see, Viktor.

After a moment, Viktor realised his hand still rested overtop Jayces’. He quickly pulled it away, like had been shocked. Jayce, embarrassed with his staring once again, immediately demanded his eyes be trained somewhere else. That somewhere else was his own shoes. He could feel his cheeks going hot.

“Okay, well uhm… you seem okay now so I’m just gonna…go.” At that last word Viktor stuck thumb out towards the doors. Viktor was also embarrassed, his own cheeks turned a shade of pink and his shoulders became all bunched up from the tension. Why the hell had he come over to this guy? To make sure he was okay? Viktor was not here to make friends, he was here to get his degree and hopefully find the want to invent something again. He was definitely not here to comfort people. He was certainly not here to blush around muscular men.

When Viktors back was turned, he leaned his head back and let it hit the wall. He felt even more like an idiot now. That was twice today now he got tongue tied after just looking at Viktor. More than that, he had no idea why. He doesn’t know why Viktors presence is so soothing. He doesn’t know why he craves Viktors attention, but once he has it loses his voice. Viktor so clearly does not care for him, that much was obvious when he looked like he was in pain when he asked Jayce if he was okay. So in all honesty, he just couldn’t wrap his mind around it. He definitely doesn’t know why he wants Viktor in his arms, or on him.

Okay so fine, maybe Jayce did kiss the occasional guy in highschool. So what? He wasn’t gay, he never had a boyfriend or anything. But Viktor, for some reason, was different. But Jayce was so confused. He only knew this guy for a day. Technically, they both had a long history with his dad, which somehow made them connected in some way, but Jayce only actually knew Viktor for about two hours. They had barely spoken two sentences, actually, Jayce hadn’t said anything at all, so maybe he was going crazy for already being addicted to someone. But that’s what looking, talking, just being near Viktor felt like, a drug, something he couldn’t imagine quitting now that he started.

Once Viktor is completely out of sight, Jayce can finally focus back on his previous thoughts. He uses the calm Viktor gave him to walk back to the escalator and hop on. He knew now that he most likely wasn’t going to fail, but he still wanted those extra hours. Once his stair hit the floor, he ushered back into Mr Heimerdinger's room, hoping it was still unlocked and he was still there. Lucky for him, when he went to turn the doorknob, it gave way and turned. The door opened to reveal the professor at his desk, looking at his laptop. When he heard Jayce enter the room, he removed his reading glasses and faced him.

“Hello Mr. Talis! It’s the first day of university and you’re the most popular man here, shouldn’t you be out partying?” Jayce never really acknowledged how known his name was until today. It seemed like everyone knew him, but he knew no one. 

“Ah, not yet, professor. I came back to get more lab hours. I’ve decided you can’t come up with a world-changing invention unless you pull at least five all nighter a week.” He flashed an easy smile as if he wasn’t upstairs thirty minutes prior, freaking out about never being enough.

“Well, my boy, I do not encourage you to deprive yourself of sleep, but I do encourage you to come up with the best invention possible, so the list is still beside the door.”

Jayce turned to the side and sure enough, there was the clipboard with all the names and dates and hours. He picked up the pen beside it but just when the felt tip was about to hit paper, Jayce noticed something. Everywhere on the page where his name had been scrawled in his messy handwriting, was a beautifully cursive written name, with clean lines and even letters. He had to squint to read the letters, but a few seconds after his eyes widened. Viktor had signed up for the. Exact. Same. Hours. As Jayce.