dirty little secrets
It was a month and a few weeks after New Years and because of classes and extracurricular activities, Remus and Sirius hadn't seen each other since. They had texted back and forth but nothing in person.
Sirius missed Remus.
He thought a lot about that night and how openly they had flirted. It was nice. He liked it. He didn't necessarily think that they were ready to get back together but they were back to being friends and he figured that they could start there and work their way back into being a couple again.
There was a small get-together at Lily’s apartment and they decided that it was close enough to Remus’ birthday to double as an early party for him. Did it make sense? No. But it was Marlene's idea and no one ever really questioned any idea that she came up with. Sirius found himself being excited to see him, excited to talk to him.
The day of the get together, Sirius was filled with eagerness, excited to see if there was any hope in his relationship with Remus.
When he showed up at the party, Remus wasn't there yet, which he was actually kind of happy about because it gave him an opportunity to figure out how direct he wanted to be with Remus. He couldn't necessarily look at him and say, “Hey Rey, would you be interested in maybe dating me in a few months when we have both healed and gotten our shit together, and of course being best friends in the meantime?” That definitely wouldn't slide, definitely not.
He was talking to Lily when the front door opened.
“Remus! There you are, birthday boy!”
Sirius looked over to see Marlene placing a makeshift paper crown on Remus' curly head. He had an adorable smile on his face and Sirius couldn't help but realize that he looked really happy.
“It’s not even my actual birthday.” He tried to take the crown off but Marlene slapped his hands away.
“Doesn't matter, we all decided this is an early birthday party so you have to act like it.”
“Am I getting a cake then?” Remus asked with a smirk.
“We’re broke uni students, Remus. You only get one birthday cake a year.”
Sirius watched as Marlene escorted Remus away from the door to talk to other people. He was so fixated on Remus that he hadn't noticed the tall boy that had been standing in the doorway behind Remus when he had first shown up, that was until he heard James welcoming him loudly.
Sirius stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out if he had met him before at some event but when nothing came to memory he turned to Lily.
“Who’s that James is talking to?”
Lily looked over to where Sirius was motioning and then back at him with confused, nervous eyes, “You don’t know who Henry is?”
“No I don't think so.” he completely ignored Lily’s apprehensive gaze, “Is he in some sports club with James? Has he been invited to a party before or something? I really don’t think I've ever seen him before-” the rest of whatever he was about to say died on his lips as he watched Remus walk over to the strange man, Henry, and kiss him.
He knew he should have looked away, hell he wanted to but he couldn't tear his eyes away from the scene.
“What-”
“Henry is Remus’ boyfriend.”
Sirius looked over at Lily, “Boyfriend?"
She nodded sadly, feeling slightly guilty at the look on Sirius’ face, “Yeah. They've been dating for a couple weeks now, I thought you knew.”
Sirius looked back over at them. Henry had his arm around Remus’ shoulder, Remus’ with his arm around his waist as they chatted with James. Suddenly it hit Sirius that he was probably looking at what made Remus look so happy when he had first seen him.
“He’s a great guy, Henry. Very kind. I think you might like him.”
Sirius was still struck dumb at it all, “But I- I don’t-”
“Just be kind to him, Sirius. Remus really likes him.”
I really like you too.
Sirius mutely nodded his head.
The party had been going on for a few hours and Sirius had expertly avoided Remus and Henry so far, but as the night began to die down, he knew he couldn't avoid it any longer.
He stood in a group of people, next to James, and with a drink in his hand waiting for the moment that Remus would surely come up and talk to him and before he knew it, he was walking straight towards him, Henry closely behind.
“Sirius, hey! I knew you were here but I couldn't seem to find you all night. I’ve been looking for you.”
The words almost hurt Sirius, because he had been wanting to talk to Remus, had been looking forward to it, until he had seen him kissing Henry. It felt like a slap in the face.
“Yeah uh- I’ve just been around.”
Remus looked at him oddly, not really understanding but decided it was better to not question it. Instead, he grabbed a hold of Henry’s hand and pulled him up to stand next to him.
“Henry, this is Sirius. Sirius, this is Henry…my boyfriend.”
Henry held his hand out confidently to Sirius, “Nice to meet you. Heard loads about you.”
Sirius looked down at Henry’s outstretched hand then took a sip from his drink, “Nice to meet you too.”
Henry stared down awkwardly at his ignored hand before pulling it back into his body. Remus looked up at Sirius with angry eyes.
Sirius felt challenged.
“Henry was it?” Henry nodded, “Yeah I’m just double checking because, unlike you, I haven't heard a single word about you. Didn't know you existed until tonight. Crazy innit?”
Henry tried to form a response but couldn't quite get one out.
“Sirius.” Remus warned, which for some reason egged him on even more.
“Have you met Shari yet, Henry? She’s great. She’s Lily's roommate. Real close to Remus. In fact, he fucked her right there on that couch, didn't ya, Rey?”
“Mate, relax.” James whispered to him, feeling uncomfortable from the conversation.
Henry tried again to get out a response, “Uh-”
“Don't worry though, mate, it was after we broke up. Remus isn't the cheating type. He waits until the relationship is over and then he fucks ‘em. Even if it’s just a few days after the breakup…he at least waits.”
Remus was fuming while Henry sat there awkwardly.
“Sirius. Can I talk to you for a moment? Alone?”
“Why? Don't want your new boyfriend to hear all your dirty little secrets? Don't worry, Rey, we might have been together for over a year but apparently I hardly know you...so I doubt I'll have much to tell him.”
At this point, quite a crowd had gathered around the three boys, all whispering and muttering about unpleasant interaction.
Remus grabbed Sirius’ wrist and pulled him into the kitchen.
“The hell is your problem?”
“I don't have a problem, Remus.” Sirius feigned innocence.
“What the fuck was that then if not a problem?”
“Just warning the poor chap.”
Sirius had never seen Remus look so angry or offended, “Warning?”
“Yeah. I mean, correct me if i'm wrong but you were the one who, on multiple occasions, said wasn't ready to move on. You were the one that wanted to stay single and still needed time. Yet here you are, showing up with a boyfriend. Seems a bit untrustworthy to me.”
“You broke up with me.”
“I’m aware.”
“So why do you think you have the right to comment on when I move on and who I date?”
Sirius knew he was wrong. He knew that Remus was right and that he had absolutely no right to have an opinion on his love life…but he wouldn't say that now, not being the stubborn person he was.
“Just thought that maybe Henry should know what he’s getting himself into, especially if he decides it’s all too much for him and wants to call it off.” Sirius paled at his own words, realized what he had just said and how it surely came off to Remus.
Remus stepped back from Sirius with anger, hurt, and sadness filling his eyes. “Too much for him? What’s that supposed to mean?”
Sirius didn't mean the next thing he said, but he said it anyway, “You know exactly what I mean.” He started to storm out, but paused at the kitchen door, “And thanks, by the way, for telling me…I really thought we were to the point of being able to tell each other these types of things but I guess I was wrong about the type of person you are. I guess I was wrong about us.”
And with that, Sirius stormed the rest of the way out of Lily’s apartment, Remus yelling after him angrily that he wasn't done with the conversation.
But Sirius was done.
Sirius was so done.