the magic of new years
Remus liked to call himself a realist. He tried, and often succeeded, at seeing things in a realistic light and not getting caught up in the parts of life that just don't make sense. The only exception was New Years.
To Remus Lupin, there truly was some sort of magic in the air on New Years, a kind of magic that gives you courage and hope to start new, a kind of magic that makes everything around you contemporary and fresh, a kind of magic that transforms Remus from a practical and sophisticated young man, to an excited and carefree juvenile. So when James announced that he would be throwing a huge New Years Eve party with Lily, Remus didn't hesitate.
Sirius was there, of course he was, he shared a flat with James after all. Remus expected there to be some sort of awkwardness or hesitancy when it came to chatting with his ex, but when he noticed Sirius walking his way towards him, he felt a buzz of excitement, a surge of energy…the magic of New Years.
“Fancy seeing you here.” Despite, or perhaps thanks to, the alcohol in his system, the words poured out of Remus’ mouth with ease.
Sirius raised an eyebrow and asked, “Fancy seeing me at my own place?”
“I just didn’t think you would be here. You always said I was mad to believe in the energy of a new year.” Remus carelessly let his eyes rake over Sirius’ body. He was fit. Always has been, probably always would be. Remus wouldn't be surprised if Sirius was buried in that bloody leather jacket of his.
Sirius watched as Remus gave him a once-over, and he noticed the slight dilation of his pupils, the way his breath slowed just the slightest. Remus was being careless, he was being flirty…and Sirius loved it. He took a step closer to him, “Don't have to believe in magic to have a good time, do I?”
Sirius had spoken softly, so softly that anyone else in the room would have been completely oblivious to the conversation going on between the two boys. Remus felt his throat tighten (his trousers too) Sirius’ voice was always his biggest weakness and when he would speak like that…so quiet and low and only to him, Remus would fold 9/10 times.
“I suppose not.”
The air between them was thick, so thick they were both practically choking on it. Maybe it was the lingering tension from their Christmas memories, maybe it was the booze in their veins, or maybe it was something completely different. It didn’t really matter because the tension was holding them both by the throats, pulling them both in with force. That was until Peter had come up and grabbed Remus, begging him to join him and the girl he was trying to impress, and Marlene had grabbed Sirius by the waist, insisting that he join her outside for a smoke…tearing them away.
It was getting closer to midnight, and everyone was getting farther and farther from sobriety. Sirius had tucked himself into a corner away from the eyes of the party guests who were starting to make plans for a countdown kiss, something he really didn't want to participate in. He debated on pulling Remus aside and asking him to be his New Year’s kiss but decided against it. It would have ruined the purpose of their last kiss anyways, and he really didn't want to ruin that kiss. So he stayed in the corner and watched, watched Remus mostly.
He watched his hair get messier and messier, he watched as his shirt button’s slowly get undone one by one, mesmerized by him. Seeing Remus look like that, almost made him believe all of that new year magic he was always going on about, because there really was some sorcery about the way Remus looked right then.
Suddenly, Sirius’ heart jumped up into his throat, then dropped straight down to his arse, because as he watched Remus down another shot with surprising ease, he was forced to witness Shari snake her arm around his waist and press up to whisper something in his ear. He knew he had no right to be jealous, but even as a gay man Sirius could admit that Shari looked hott tonight. Her hair and makeup remained flawless, despite all of the liquor she had surely downed and her tiny dress fit her frame perfectly. Sirius would not have blamed Remus at all for kissing her, most would have called him crazy for not doing so…but the idea of possibly re-living the incident on Lily’s couch, made Sirius feel ill.
He sat and watched, prepared to make a dash to the nearest toilet, when Remus kindly shook his head and apologized to Shari. She looked disappointed but took it gracefully, nodding with a polite smile and turning away. ‘He’s insane. He must have lost it.’ Sirius thought to himself, until Remus turned to look at him directly and smiled as he walked away.
Oh.
Suddenly, Sirius’ heart jumped for a completely different reason. Nerves and excitement coursed through his blood, making his face red and his cheeks hurt from smiling so widely. Sirius turned to the nearest drink table and started downing shots, being in desperate need of keeping cool. He could do this, he could kiss Remus at midnight, he could maybe even win him back (if he was lucky), but in order to do that he needed to be calm.
Not long before midnight, Sirius was pissed, plastered, practically pixilated and dancing madly around the living room…which no one else was really doing. But oh how the music made his body feel good, oh how freeing did dancing feel, and oh how good those hands felt on his hips. At some point he had been joined on the dance floor by Remus. Remus was just as gone as he was, but he didn’t mind because he had that flushed smile and was giggling into his ear as he fell against him.
10…9…8
“Remus! It’s the countdown!” His words were slurred together.
7...6…
“What!” they could barely hear each other over the yelling and cheering.
5…
“The countdown!”
Remus laughed, but before he could say anything, tripped over the leg of the coffee table and they both crashed onto the couch.
4…
They both groaned out in pain.
Sirius looked up and Remus, who was starting to become very blurry.
He wished he wouldn't have taken all of those shots.
3...2...1!
It was getting closer and closer to midnight, and Remus was getting more and more drunk, more than he knew he should be getting. But fuck, he was having fun, and he couldn't remember the last time he ever just had fun.
The drinks were great, as were the people and Remus was sure that his theory about the magic was right because he could feel it. Not necessarily in him, but around him…it almost felt like the magic was watching him. Suddenly he felt an arm wrap around his waist. He followed the arm to the body that it was attached to and saw Shari grinning up at him. She looked very pretty. She was very pretty, and she was leaning up to whisper in his ear.
“It’s almost midnight...you could join me then, if you’d like?”
Tempting offer, very tempting. He could kiss her at midnight, it would be fine and he had kissed her before and it wasn’t a bad kiss at all, he had actually enjoyed it a bit. He was about to say yes, hell maybe even kiss her right then, but then he felt that feeling again. That feeling of magic watching him and he knew that kissing Shari at midnight probably wouldn't be a good idea.
“I don't think that’s a good idea, Shari.” he said it kindly, and she took no offense, just nodded kindly and turned away. Then without needing to look, without needing to guess, he looked up and caught Sirius’ gaze. The gaze that was trained on him and had been all night. The magic. He smiled and walked away.
Not long before midnight, Remus was trolleyed, tanked up, and totally trashed as he stepped outside for a smoke. Considering how many drinks he had, smoking was not the best idea and he knew that...but he liked smoking, it reminded him of Sirius.
When the cigarette was burned all the way down, he stumbled inside and was immediately drawn to the sight of Sirius in the living room. He was dancing, of course he was, he always danced when he got drunk because he liked the feeling of it.
It was like there was a magnetic pull that made him stumble over to Sirius and place his hands on his waist, moving them both to the beat of the loud music. He felt goosebumps sprout all over both of their arms and the back of their necks. He had the urge to place his lips against his neck, to taste his skin that was sure to taste like cheap liquor and cigarette smoke, he suddenly craved the taste but somehow, even under his drunken state managed to keep his self control and keep his tongue to himself.
But then he was laughing over some provocative move Sirius did as they fell against each other and it wouldn't be a bad thing he thought, to kiss him at midnight. It didn't have to mean anything, hell everyone kissed someone at midnight so if it happened to be with Sirius Black, so be it.
10…9…8…
He heard Sirius say something to him.
7…6…
“What!” They were both so drunk and the room was so loud he hadn't heard him clearly.
5…
“The countdown!”
Remus laughed, he was just about to say the same thing, just about to ask Sirius to kiss him but then he took a wrong step and tumbled onto the couch. Well, onto Sirius who had tumbled onto the couch.
4…
They groaned out in pain.
Remus looked down trying to see Sirius clearly enough but his head was starting to throb and the corner of his vision was starting to darken.
He wished he wouldn't have taken all of those shots, or maybe not have smoked that last fag.
3…2…1!
The door slammed behind them but they couldn't hear anything over their breathing and the pounding of their hearts.
Sirius’ birthday party had ended hours ago and everyone had left, leaving the couple to themselves.
Neither of them really knew how they had gotten there, but one second they were cuddling, then snogging, then they were stumbling into Sirius’ room with their hands running across the plains of each other's chest and pressing against each other.
The back of Sirius’ knees hit the edge of his bed and they both fell back with a grunt.
Remus moved to straddle Sirius as he continued to kiss him hard. Sirius pulled back from his lips, only to attach himself to his neck. Remus’ head fell back at the feeling, oh god it felt so good. Then Sirius’ hands were holding his hips and rolling their groins together and Remus let out a soft moan because, oh god that felt so good!
Sirius stopped sucking on his neck to look up at Remus before reaching for the hem of his shirt and pulling it off of him, Remus did the same.
Once they were both rid of their shirts Remus kissed Sirius’ bare collar bones, his sternum, his right peck, his left, then followed a small trail of hair down his stomach to his waist band, kissing the entire time, elicited small groans from Sirius the whole time.
When Remus reached the top of Sirius’ jeans, he paused for a second to look up at Sirius, getting his permission to take them off.
Sirius looked down at him and grinned wickedly, “Take them off.” he whispered and Remus did as he was told. He undid the button and zipper and Sirius’ jeans with shaky, nervous, excited fingers and pulled them down his legs, Sirius helped kick them off of his ankles in a way that made Remus laugh loudly. That's when Sirius sat up and pulled Remus into his chest, kissing him with urgency, and undoing his pants as he did so.
That night they had sex for the first time, it was messy and frantic but soft and sweet at the same time, it was everything that they were.
Sirius woke up the next morning with his arms wrapped around Remus’ middle and his nose pressed into the nape of his neck, his favorite way to wake up.
Sirius woke up with his arms wrapped around Remus’ middle and his nose pressed into the nape of his neck, his favorite way to wake up.
His clothes were sticking to his sweaty body, which made for extremely uncomfortable sleep wear, but he didn’t dare try to move or adjust in fear of waking up Remus.
They hadn’t had sex, well he figured they didn’t because they were both fully clothed and he knew what having sex with Remus was like; all the alcohol in the world couldn't make him numb enough or drunk enough to not remember that.
Remus groaned from in front of him. A type of groan that comes from waking up with a hangover still in yesterday's clothes. Sirius moved his arms away from Remus and shifted to be a few inches away, not wanting this to turn into an even more uncomfortable situation. Remus rolled over to face Sirius, he was about to ask him a question when James and Lily entered the room, looking slightly panicked.
“Oh thank god,” Lily breathed a sigh of relief with her palm against her chest, “We woke up panicked remembering that we put you two in here, but we couldn't quite remember if it was in a way that would ensure neither of you would choke on your own sick.”
The two boys both made a move to sit up, which made them both moan out in pain when a skull- splitting headache shot through both of them as they did so.
“Thanks for that but, uh, why-” Sirius looked quickly over at Remus then back at the other two, “why did you put us in here exactly?”
“You two were right pissed, mate.” James said as he sat down on the edge of the bed, “By the time the countdown came around you were both too drunk to stand, it was easier to lay you both in here then try to actually do anything constructive. We just hoped neither of you would die in the night.”
Remus rolled his eyes, though it hurt to do so, “Cheers.”
“Oi! We could have left you on the living room floor, but we were kind enough to carry, and I mean literally carry, you into an actual, comfortable bed.” James responded defensively. He after all, took a great deal of pride in taking care of his friends.
Remus couldn't help but smile, “Whatever, I’m going to shower if that’s alright with you, Sirius?”
Sirius was laying back down and had his face buried under a pillow to block out the light as he nodded in response to Remus’ question.
Remus walked into the bathroom and James and Lily left to grab both of the boys some medication and some water from the kitchen. When Remus was out of the shower and both the boys had joined the couple in the kitchen, James and Lily took turns telling them about how much of a wreck they were the night before and teasing them about all of their drunken shenanigans.
What they didn’t mention was that the real reason they had put the two boys in Sirius’ bed together was because by the time the party was over and James and Lily were trying to put everything in place, any attempt of separating the two boys was a failure. In their drunken state Sirius and Remus refused to leave the other’s side, often slurring together concerned questions on if the other was okay, holding hands as they stumbled through the house, and flat out refusing to let go no matter what James or Lily said. They figured those details would probably be better left untold.