The first time I saw you walking the corridors at school, it felt like my heart had stopped beating for a second. You were so different from anyone I had ever seen. So fascinated by everything around you like you had never seen anything like this. Later you would tell me about your upbringing, about your uncle and aunt and about how you were forced to live your life in a broom closet under the stairs. Do you remember how you had to stop me from going over and hexing them? Me, who had never even made a fist before.
Do you remember how tight you held me that same night? How your eyes saddened when I told you I had to leave? When I told you I never wanted to look at anyone else in my life, would you believe me?
My eyes always searched for signs of you, in every room I went, I looked for you and you alone but you seemed to forget the nights we spent together as soon as they happened. Our tender moments were forgotten when you held her. Did she feel as good as I did? Did you also tell her how good she was for you or how beautiful she was after you fucked her raw.
But I shouldn't get too hung up on those things. After all, you made it clear that the thing between us was just that. A thing. Something for when you felt lonely or had enough of her vanilla perfume and soft curves and wanted something fast and easy. Something that wouldn't complain when you were too rough, or didn't want to pillow talk, just wanted to get off and forget for a second. But you made it so hard to hate you for leaving when you would leave a kiss on my forehead when you thought I had already fallen asleep.
Do you remember the night you told me to meet you? I was in my corner in the library late at night when only few were around when you sought me out. You told me to meet you at the astronomy tower later that night and I was so happy I wanted to cry. When you pulled me into a kiss, so sweet, my heart ached with how much I loved you.
It was in the middle of winter and the tower was colder than ever but the thought of you warmed me up and I waited for you to come. I waited and waited and when the first rays of sunshine hit my freezing face I knew you wouldn't come.
When I saw you that morning sitting at your table, besides her, I knew we would never be. I was so angry at myself for thinking you would love me. Me, who was so rotten to the core.
Breakfast that morning tasted like broken promises and spilled tears.
Do you remember the night I told you about what had happened one summer when my fathers friends had visited us? You were the first person I ever told. I remember how scared I was when you stayed silent. That night was the first time you kissed me, just to kiss me and not to let go.
Had I known that you would get bored of me that easily, I probably wouldn't have told you, even if that meant to never experience that kiss of yours.
Our love was only imagined by a lonely boy.
It was made out of plastic.