Harry paced a short path between two trees. Apparently his perpetual motion was annoying Buckbeak who finally stepped into his path, clicking her beak at him. He held up his hands. “Okay. Okay,” he whispered and turned his head to look at Hermione. She was sitting in the same spot for nearly an hour, arms pulling her legs in so her head could rest on her knees. Staring intently at the whomping willow. Considering her, he wished he could be as thoughtful and calm as her. Despite the urgency of their task and the uncertainty of how they were going to accomplish it, she was content to wait knowing taking action for the sake of action too early would be disastrous. He guessed this had always been her desired approach to the troubles they found themselves in, he just usually overrode that cautiousness. Sighing, he realized he could try her method for once. Stepping up to her, he sat down next to her, purposely choosing her left side so she could continue her vigil surveilling the tunnel and talk to him.
Her eyes met his and she smiled.
“So. Time travel,” he started lamely.
Leaning back, Hermione’s right hand covered the front of her shirt, subconsciously checking that the device was safe.
Harry remembered now that he had seen her make that same motion all year. Not only had she been burdened by an unrealistic academic load, she had been worried all year about protecting time. “Does this mean you’re older now? I mean you repeated several class periods all year.”
“I guess I hadn’t really thought about it, but yeah. I maybe repeated about a month or two. Professor McGonagall said I could use it to get some extra study time on the weekends.”
“You’re not going to do that to yourself again next year, are you? You seemed a bit…”
“High strung?” she supplied for him. “I may have over committed. No. You were right, I don’t need to take Muggle Studies and after walking out on Divinations, I’m not sure Professor Trelawney would accept me back even if I wanted to study such rubbish.”
The disdain she was able to convey with her words made him laugh. It had been a strange year when Hermione Granger could have such loathing for a class. Thinking back, he realized even with her own inhuman schedule, she still found time to help Hagrid and try to protect him. From himself at times. Guilt reminded him he never apologized for how he and Ron treated her over the Firebolt. “Hermione. Ron and I were really hard on you after Christmas.”
She sat straighter. A flash of hurt on her face confirmed to Harry that the pain he caused her was still present.
“I only wanted to make sure you were safe, Harry. I’m sorry I almost messed up the Quidditch match. I know it’s important to you.”
“Not more important to me than our friendship,” he said honestly. “You were right to be suspicious.”
Her hand motioned to the whomping willow. “I wasn’t though, was I? Sirius wasn’t the threat we needed to worry about. I guess we know why the Sneakoscope went off. It wasn’t the broom, it was Peter Pettigrew.”
“I still don’t really believe it. Ron’s been carrying around a wizard for three years,” Harry said with a small laugh. “Feeding him. It’s so strange.”
“You never saw his name on the map?” she asked.
“I didn’t. Professor Lupin said he did.”
“I wonder. Sirius said he stayed in his animagus form so long that eventually he became more dog than man. Thirteen years is a long time to be a rat. Maybe he wasn’t really Peter Pettigrew that whole time. It wasn’t until he came face to face with Sirius again that he snapped out of it completely,” she reasoned.
“That makes me feel better. Fred and George have had that map for ages. You’d think they’d mention they saw Ron sleeping with a strange boy.”
At that she laughed. It was good to hear, it made him realize she hadn’t done much of that all year.
Something about the way he looked at her seemed to change her consideration. “Why are you looking like that?”
“Like what?”
“Sad.”
Harry looked away. What was he thinking? There weren’t many people in his life that cared as much for him as he cared for them. Hermione and Ron were about it. He had other friends, but none with the connection he felt with those two. “I just worried about you this year. You didn’t really seem to be enjoying yourself. It was good to hear you laugh is all.”
“You’re sweet, Harry. I suppose I didn’t have time to enjoy much of this school year. Really the only fun I had was Hogsmeade. Even then, those trips were either less fun because you weren’t with us or more stressful because you were.”
Guilt again rose up within him. Even in the moments she was supposed to be relaxing and having fun, she was worrying about him. “I’m sorry,” he started.
She waved the apology away. “There wasn’t a real threat, was there? I shouldn’t have worried so much.”
“We didn’t know that. You only ever wanted to keep me safe and I treated you like we treat Percy when he tells us to go to bed after a Quidditch match.”
“Well. In the future I’ll try to be less like Percy and you can try to be—”
“—more like you.”
Hermione blushed.
They sat in silence, neither sure what else to say. Harry thought about what was happening inside the Shrieking Shack and what was still to come. Looking up to the night sky he tried to see if any dementors were nearby. They rushed in so quickly they had to be close.
“Do you really hear your mom and dad?” Hermione asked.
Surprised by the question, Harry’s head jerked to look at her. She was staring up at the sky too. She knew what he was looking for. “I do. It’s hard. I know it’s really them. A memory I didn’t know I had. Part of me wants to stay in that memory. Hear their voices. See their faces. Another part of me understands what’s about to happen to them and I want to send the dementors away to stop the memory from playing out in my head.”
“Oh, Harry.” Hermione took his hand. “That’s awful. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
Her hand was warm despite the cool night air. The touch grounded him. “You passed out tonight when they attacked. What did you hear?” At the question, her hand jerked as if to pull away. He held it tight. There was something, he wanted to help her.
She let out a long, slow breath. It carried a slight tremble of fear. “It’s not really what I hear. It’s more like a feeling of being trapped, unable to move but aware of everything that’s happening around me. Like being petrified. I think it’s a memory from last year.”
The revelation hit him hard. “You were still aware when you were petrified? You never told me that.”
When she looked at him, there were tears in her eyes. “It wasn’t something I wanted to talk about right away. Madam Pomfrey offered to obliviate those memories. I think Colin let her.”
“But you didn’t?”
“You came by my bed nearly every night. Updated me on each class even though I knew you didn’t care at all about coursework. It was sweet. I even think you tried to hold my hand. I wanted to remember that.”
Harry didn’t know what to say. The confession had been so unexpected.
“Here we come!” Hermione whispered, standing to her feet. Her hand was still in his and she pulled him up to his own feet. They watched the group exit the tunnel.
It was her touch, her hand in his that reminded him, in that moment, action still wasn’t needed. They needed to stay back and watch. Follow the events as they unfolded. His instinct told him to stop Pettigrew from getting away, he knew she’d rule that right out. Suddenly the hillside was bathed in light. He looked up to realize it was moonlight from the full moon. “Hermione.”
“We can’t, Harry,” she started to admonish him, but seemed tuned in to his thoughts. “Oh!”
“We need to move now. Lupin’s about to come right for us!” Harry pulled her forward.
She stopped to untie Buckbeak. Gripping the rope tightly in her free hand, the trio ran into the woods. “Where should we go? We can’t go far!”
“To Hagrid’s,” Harry said, changed their direction. They came eye to eye with a gigantic werewolf. “Professor…”
Remus was a mere twenty feet away from the pair. He lunged.
Harry tucked Hermione in his arms as he spun them. His back was unprotected but she would be. Before the pain arrived, Buckbeak screeched. Her wings were spread wide, front hooves were pounding the ground so hard, Harry could feel the vibrations.
The werewolf howled. Harry chanced a look in time to see the hulking form head deep within the forest.
Hermione twisted in his arms. “Harry. That was really brave.”
He turned to look at his friend and was surprised to find how close they were. He could feel her heart beating against his own chest. Her warm breath on his cheek. Looking into her eyes, he saw fear was giving away to something else. He couldn’t be sure, but he sensed it was an important shift. Her eyes flicked away from his eyes toward his mouth. Harry leaned in, trying to determine if he was reading the signals correctly. When she also leaned in instead of away in response he captured her lips with his. It was his first kiss and he really didn’t know what he was doing. He watched some movies with Dudley when the two were left alone. Movies that would have never been allowed due to their 18 rating. Harry hadn’t watched long after the romancing started out of discomfort in watching such scenes with his cousin, but he saw enough. His tongue pushed forward, teasing her lips apart. Pressing his luck, he deepened the kiss and hugged her tighter against him.
When they broke away, her cheeks were red and her breathing was uneven. “We should get to Hagrid’s before Professor Lupin comes back this way."
“Yeah,” he said, not moving. His eyes searched hers again and he couldn’t tell what she was thinking. He didn’t know what he was thinking.
She pushed herself back, took his hand, and leaned over to grab Buckbeak’s rope again. She had dropped it at some point. Pulling him forward they ran toward the familiar hut. Once inside, Hermione busied herself with Fang.
Harry wasn’t sure what to do. Was she upset? Did she regret what just happened? Or was she just as shocked as he was that it happened. “Um...I can’t see much in here. I’m going to go out, otherwise we might miss the timing.”
Hermione spun her spot and stepped forward.
“I’m not going to interfere. We need to know when to rescue Sirius.”
Eyeing him suspiciously, they both knew they had at least twenty more minutes before they’d have to move again. “Okay. I’ll wait with Buckbeak.”
He reached for the door and her voice stopped him.
“Harry. I hope you get to see your father.”
~~/~~
When the door closed, Hermione sat heavily in a nearby chair. Her knees were so weak they seemed to give out like strings removed from a puppet. Her hand flew to her lips and she closed her eyes. What had she been thinking? She just kissed her best friend. Technically he kissed her, but she suspected it was her idea first and he just read the signs correctly. Oh dear, she thought. What if he starts to avoid her now? She’d heard the other girls talk about the boys they liked and how they started acting weird around them once they found out. Harry’s friendship was too important. Her feelings for him needed to stay buried deep. Truth be told, she knew they were there ever since she had been petrified. Those feelings nagged her throughout the summer holiday. She had even been nervous to see Harry at the start of the new school year. Afraid he would notice her view of him had changed. It was possible those fears were also partly the cause for her course load. Staying busy was the best way to avoid her emotions. She decided she should have had her memories from the time she was petrified obliviated for the sake of their friendship.
Standing, she tried to look out the window and see what was happening. She should be keeping an eye out for Lupin or dementors. Protecting Harry. Not holed up in Hagrid’s hut fighting with her emotions. A small knocking sound made her turn back to the fireplace. Buckbeak had gotten up and was clicking her beak at Hermione. “I know. Come on. We can’t stay in here forever, we need to watch over Harry and save Sirius.” Hermione sensed the hippogriff didn’t want to leave, likely she wanted Hagrid. “This is no time for feelings.”
The pep talk seemed to steal them both. Hermione led Buckbeak back out into the night. The bright glow from the full moon making it easy to see where to go. They’d find Harry near the Black Lake. “Stupid to let Harry go there alone,” she said out loud. Mad at herself. Dementors swarmed high above her. She took out her wand and broke out into a run. “Also stupid to be running with a flying creature.” Her muttering aside, she hated flying on a broom and guessed she would hate flying on a hippogriff even more. At least on a broom there was only one mind to control.
As they approached the shore, another source of light seemed to light up the grounds. Hermione slowed her pace, seeing the patronus. It was so bright she could only make out the silhouette of Harry at first. It looked like a large deer. It trotted closer to Harry and seemed to allow him to pet it before it disappeared. “Harry?”
He turned, a huge smile on his face. “Did you see it? It was me. It wasn’t my dad. I conjured that patronus.”
“I did. It was amazing. You drove away all those dementors? That’s really advanced magic, Harry.”
“I knew I could do it because I already did. It wasn’t my dad I saw, it was me.”
Hermione was confused but was facing the Lake and was the only one to see Snape approaching the unmoving forms on the opposite bank. Grabbing his shirt, she pulled Harry behind a tree, repositioned Buckbeak, trying her best to keep them all out of sight. “Look, there’s Ron on the stretcher. I hope he’s really going to be okay. It was such a bad break.” She felt Harry lean over her, his breath warm on the back of her neck. A shiver ran down her back. It wasn’t because of the chilly night air. Get a grip, Hermione, she told herself. Forced her concentration back onto the activity on the bank. When Snape was well on his way to the castle, she turned around to lean against the tree. With some relief she found that Harry had taken a few steps back.
“Now what?” he asked.
“We need to give them time to lock up Sirius in Professor Flitwick’s office. She pulled out the time turner to look at the sands passing through the device. “We have about forty-five minutes before we need to be back in the hospital wing.”
He nodded. “Let’s find a better spot to wait. This is too out in the open.” He scanned the towers of the castle. “The owlery.”
“Oh. Harry. It’s so messy up there. And Buckbeak won’t be able to climb the spiral stairs at the top.”
At that, Harry laughed. “You’re the smartest student here and I just produced a patronus. I think we can manage a scourgify spell. And how did you think we were going to use a hippogriff to rescue Sirius? Walk up the castle walls? We’ll fly.” He pulled her toward Buckbeak.
“Oh. Oh no. There must be somewhere else we can wait,” she complained even as Harry helped her up on the Buckbeak’s back. He crawled up behind her, tied the rope around to fashion reigns and hugged Hermione tight to him as they kicked off. “Harry! Oh, no! This is no good,” she said as she clung to his arms pulling them tighter around her.
Harry steered them toward the main egress for the owls. Buckbeak passed easily though and came to a halt on the wooden floor. “See. That wasn’t so bad.”
“Yeah,” she said, gripping the rope tightly while Harry jumped down. She waited until he reached his hands out for her and very ungracefully slid off the back of the hippogriff. Harry steadied her. “Thanks.” Hermione released him when she was certain her feet were planted on solid ground. She straightened her shirt and smoothed her hair down. Looking around she spotted a bench, cleaned it, and levitated it toward a window facing Flitwick’s office.
Harry joined her on the bench. “There. You see. Perfect.”
She pushed him playfully in response. “I’ve never been very good with flying. I can barely convince a broom to levitate up into my hand. It’s like it senses my fear.”
They sat in silence. The only sounds were the occasional flapping of owl wings as the birds left to hunt or returned with a bounty. Hermione’s mind was spinning. Was he quiet because he felt weird about their kiss? Did he not know how to talk to her anymore and she’d ruined their friendship? Minutes passed and she couldn’t stand it any longer.
“Harry.”
“Hermione.”
They said each other’s names in unison. Her frayed nerves felt like they unraveled completely. She stood. “Harry, you’re my best friend. I should never have thought about you like that.”
Harry looked immensely confused. “Like what? You think about me?”
“No. I mean, I won’t anymore. You’re too important to me. I won’t. Never again. I promise. Romilda told Seamus she fancied him and he hasn’t been able to look her in the eye since. He can’t even string a sentence together around her, he's so embarrassed.”
“Romilda… Seamus… Hermione, sit down. You’re not making any sense. Did you bang your head?” he asked and sounded genuinely concerned.
Hermione realized she was bringing him into a thought process that was already going 100 knots. It was like jumping on a firebolt that was already flying in circles. She sat, took a deep breath. Just tell him everything. “Harry. Ever since I was unpetrified I’ve been thinking about you. Thinking about how kind and thoughtful you were to me. It made me think that maybe one day we could be more than just friends, maybe you thought so too. I hear the other girls talk… they don’t talk to me about it, but they talk around me, all the girls in our year, they’ve been telling the boys they like that they fancy them and every single one has stopped talking to those girls. They stopped sitting next to them. I like you too much to ruin our friendship over such silly thoughts.” The look on Harry’s face was similar to the look he got in transfiguration class after Professor McGonagall asked him to explain the theory behind a spell. She was making everything worse. “Maybe we can just forget this all happened. I could brew a forgetfulness potion if that would help you?”
He shook his head. “I don’t want to forget what happened tonight.”
“You don’t?”
“No! I want to remember it. Hermione, I kissed you. I thought you were mad at me.”
“What?”
“You were avoiding me in Hagrid’s. I thought I upset you. Listen, I thought you wanted me to kiss you. I know I wanted to kiss you. I’m not sure I think as much as you do but I have been thinking about you too. Probably even before you were petrified. I just didn’t know you were thinking the same thing until tonight.”
Hermione tried to make sense of his words. They were both doing a terrible job expressing themselves. “I did want you to kiss me. Harry, listen. We should focus on Sirius and getting back to the hospital wing in time, but I’m definitely not mad at you and am relieved you’re not upset with me. We should talk when this is over?”
He took her hand, “Yeah. Okay. You were my first kiss you know.”
She was glad it was so dark in the owlery because she felt the heat and redness spreading on her face. “Mine too.”
They continued to sit and watch the dark office. Waiting for a sign that Sirius was in the room. “Seamus is avoiding Romilda because she’s never talked to him and then one day she just blurted out her feelings for him. He’s scared of her.”
Hermione laughed out loud at that. Before she could say anything, the lights in the office came on. They both stood. “It’s really stupid that they leave him alone in there.”
“Maybe that was Professor Dumbledore’s suggestion?” Harry wondered.
“That would suggest he believed in Sirius before he talked to us.”
A few minutes later, they saw Macnair running from the Castle. “He’s going to get the dementors. Let’s go.”
~~/~~
It took Harry a few moments to figure out where he was when he woke up. The ceiling was so far away, the room felt cavernous. The hospital wing. The events from the night before came rushing back. Turning his head, he was disappointed to see Hermione’s bed was already empty. Sliding to sit up, he saw Ron across from him.
“Hey,” the redhead said around a mouthful of chocolate. “I haven’t told Madam Pomfrey that I was knocked out by my rat and not a dementor. It’s good chocolate.”
Harry smiled. “You’re better?”
Ron nodded. “My leg is still sore but I should be on my feet today. Madam Pomfrey said I could leave at noon if everything checks out. What happened last night?”
Remembering the excitement he felt holding Hermione close and kissing her, redness rose on his face out of embarrassment. Harry turned to get out of his bed before his friend could see. “What do you mean? Nothing happened.”
“Nothing happened? Hermione said you two helped Sirius escape. She rushed out of here before she told me anything though. Acting weird. Well weirder than normal.”
“Did she say where she was going?” Harry asked, shoving his feet into his shoes at the foot of the bed. He started crossing the room before Ron could even answer.
“Something about going to see Professor McGonagall. Probably going to sign up for classes next year or ask for summer work or something.”
“I’ll bring you lunch,” Harry called over his shoulder and turned toward the east wing. He wasn’t really sure why he was in such a hurry. Forcing himself to slow down, he realized he had just been in a hurry to get away from Ron’s questions. Questions he didn’t know how to answer. In more ways than one. He didn’t know if he should tell Ron about the time turner. That was Hermione’s secret to share. The kiss was both of their secret, and he didn’t want to say something to Ron without talking to Hermione first. What if she didn’t want to say anything? He shared everything with Ron, but he wouldn’t betray Hermione’s trust. The situation seemed like it could get complicated quickly. At the thought, he picked up the pace again. He needed to know what she was thinking. As soon as possible. Rounding the corner he heard McGonagall’s voice.
“I think this is a wise decision, Miss Granger. I’ll take care of the paperwork.”
Harry stepped back, feeling awkward. There’s no reason he needed to hide from the head of his house.
“Mister Potter. Are you feeling better?” Minerva asked when she spotted him.
“Yeah. All better. Thanks. I was just looking for Hermione.”
“You both should go outside and get some fresh air. I imagine you’ve had your fill of chocolate.”
Harry resisted the urge to take Hermione’s hand. “We’ll do that.”
Hermione gave him a small smile and started toward the courtyard.
“Maybe we can go back up to the owlery?” Harry suggested, knowing it should be empty. With the end of term there wasn’t much reason for letter writing.
They walked in silence until they reached the base of the stone stairway of the tower. “I returned the time turner,” Hermione told him.
Harry turned to look at her. Seeing they were alone, he took her hand. “I’m glad. I’d rather not see you so stressed out next year. And maybe you’ll need some spare time for…” he trailed off. Afraid to say his thoughts aloud.
“For us?” She offered bravely.
The bench they sat on the night before was still near the window and appeared to be clean. He led her to it, and they sat. “Well. Yeah. I wasn't sure if maybe you’d change your mind today. I didn’t say anything to Ron. I wanted to wait until we had a chance to talk.”
“I was worried about telling him too. We’ll all still be friends. I wouldn’t want him to feel left out. I mean of course he’ll be left out when we kiss. I mean, we’ll kiss again right? But not in front of Ron.”
Harry smiled. It wasn’t often that Hermione was so tongue tied. He guessed her mouth was working faster than her ability to think. He hoped that was because she was listening to her feelings and not her head. He kissed her to stop her rambling. He took his time, enjoying the feel of her in his arms. His right hand moved up to cradle the back of her head. He pulled back and looked at her. “I think we should kiss again.”
Hermione leaned her head on his shoulder, intertwined her fingers with his. She looked like she was studying the way they fit together. There were so many reasons he had feelings for her. More than just friends. It seemed so natural, he guessed that’s why he didn’t know they were there until he had to confront them.
“Where do you think Sirius is?”
“I don’t know, but I have a feeling he’ll find a way to get me a message. We need to find a way to clear his name so he doesn’t need to stay in hiding.”
“I guess this means you have to go back to the Dursleys then. Harry, I’m sorry. I know you were really excited about living with Sirius.”
“It seemed too good to be true. Maybe someday though.”
“We should go check on Ron. I heard the professors arranged for another Hogsmeade trip.”
Harry stood, pulled Hermione to her feet. “Mind if I talk to Ron first?”
She looked relieved. “That’d probably be better. We haven’t been on the best terms this year.”
“He can hold a grudge,” Harry admitted and was suddenly afraid to tell his best mate he’d be snogging their friend in the future.
At the bottom of the tower, Hermione turned in to Harry. “I’ll go change. Give you both some time to talk. Don’t tell him too much about the time turner. I should be the one to explain that to him.”
They went their separate ways once they were back in the castle. Harry watched her walk toward the west tower. He was certain he had a stupid smile on his face, and he didn’t care. The feelings he had were like the excitement he felt the night before he got on the Hogwarts Express the first time. He didn’t sleep a wink that night. Instead, he spent his time packing his trunk, then taking books out to flip through them, and repacking. He had read his letter so much it was tearing at the folds. There was so much he didn’t know about his future that night, but he was excited to experience every moment that came after. That was exactly how he felt thinking about Hermione. He knew absolutely nothing about girls, relationships, or dating. He guessed there would be at least as many twists and turns as his first three years at school. They’d be alright, he was certain, because just like the previous three years, they’d face it all together.