Chapter 10
Usually when Hanschen had a problem he would keep it to himself until he physically couldn’t, and when that happened he would go to either Thea or Melitta for help. Most of the time it took a long time for that to occur but he didn’t have a long time right now.
It was 4 PM and Hanschen had been home from school for about half an hour when he realised that he desperately needed one of his sister’s input— just anything at all. Maybe even something that could help him make Ernst love him? He was great at being seductive, but kind and sweet? That was more Melitta’s job.
Unfortunately, Melitta was at Wendla’s house for the night, so he couldn’t ask her. That left only Thea.
“Thea?” He said through the door to her bedroom, knocking on it lightly.
“What do you want.” She asked flatly.
Hanschen opened the door and stepped inside of her room, feeling absolutely and utterly helpless.
“Uh oh, I recognize that face.” Thea said, spinning in her chair to face him completely. “What’s eating you alive this time?”
“…Ernst.”
“Damn, already? It’s been, what, 5 days, and he’s already ea—“
“Shut up Thea, this is serious.”
“Uh huh. Can’t fuck? Or what.”
“Man— no! God, no! I also wouldn’t know if he can or can’t, because… okay, nevermind. That isn’t the problem.”
“That’s new. So what is it exactly? Do you have a crush on him or something?”
Hanschen sat on her bed and buried his head in her pillow, nodding slowly.
“Aww, Hansi has a crush, how cute.”
“Fuck you, don’t say it like that.” He grumbled, his voice muffled by the pillow.
“Sowwy.” She said, fake pouting. Hanschen slowly looked up at her from her pillow, ready to destroy her, but she spoke first, “Anyways, what do you need help with? You’re not answering that question.”
He sighed and flipped over on her bed, facing the cracked popcorn ceiling. “Just... what should I do? I’ve had crushes before but not like this.”
“What makes this crush different from the others?”
“Mainly the fact that I want to do cute couple things with him like holding hands and giving him flowers and shit.”
“Ooh, you’re in love. Why didn’t you just say so before?”
“Love is a strong word.”
“A strong word which I believe perfectly describes how you’re feeling. If this isn’t love, what is it? And if your past crushes weren’t whatever this is, what were they?”
“Infatuations?” Hanschen suggested, sitting up straight to face her.
“Still too strong.”
He tilted his head back slightly and groaned, burying his face in his hands, his glasses falling off of his face.
“I can’t be in love, Thea.”
“Why not?”
“It…” he began, putting his glasses back on, “it just isn’t for me. It doesn’t work out.”
“It’s for everyone, Hansi.”
“Not me. It’s so complicated. I hate it.”
“No you don’t.”
“… You’re right. Honestly I enjoy the high I feel when he texts me. Cloud fucking nine.”
“Then tell him that.”
Hanschen stared at her like she just suggested he kill a man.
“Is this your advice?”
“Yeah, I mean, I felt— feel that way with Martha. And telling her that got me here, so…”
Martha, I forgot about Martha. Otto better have fixed his mistake.
“Got you where? Update me on the situation.” He said, quickly changing the subject.
“I’m no longer single.” She said proudly, smiling as she tapped her pencil on her desk while looking at Hanschen.
“Oh my God, why didn’t you tell me? That’s great!”
“I know! I can’t believe it. Well— I can, but I also can’t. Y’know what I mean?”
“Yep. I get you.”
Nope. No idea what you’re talking about.
“Otto, the little bastard— he payed me €40 to make up for it, so it’s alright. I spent it on Martha obviously.”
“Eww, homos..”
“You literally have a crush on a man.”
“Shut up.” He grumbled, throwing a pillow at her.
She caught it and stared at him for a moment, her eyes squinted slightly. Hanschen knew what was coming.
He quickly jumped off of her bed and ran out of her room. “See you later, thanks for helping!” He yelled behind him.
“I’ll get payback later!”
“Tch, sure.” He muttered once he was safely back in his room with his door shut behind him.
He had finished his homework already so he had a ton of free time tonight. Nice.
The guitar that sat in the corner of his room was just screaming at him to play it since he hadn’t played in a few weeks. He picked it up and began tuning it.
“F..” He mumbled, plucking the string and cringing slightly when a very off-tune note played. Ouch.
After finally tuning his guitar, he began playing his go-to song,
“I know I stand in line until you think you have the time to spend an evening with me,”
Perhaps vocal warmups would’ve been a good idea to do before he began singing as well. It was too late now though. Lightly clearing his throat, he continued.
“And if we go some place to dance, I know that there’s a chance you won’t be leaving with me,”
One mistake made at the moment. He played the wrong fret. So far so bad.
“Then afterwards we drop into a little quiet place and have a drink or two,”
Before he began singing the next verse, he found himself to be smiling only slightly at the implications of the song.
“And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like ‘I love you’,”
Oo. That part didn’t make him smile. He definitely didn’t want to ruin anything by saying that.
“I can see it in your e—“
Ding.
“eyes…” He weakly attempted to finish the verse, doing a double-take at his phone. Sighing, he turned his phone on silent mode without even checking who the message was from, and continued playing.
“…That you despise the same old lies you heard the night before…”
“SHUT UP!” Thea yelled from her room, sounding a mixture of annoyed and amused.
“FUCK YOU!” Hanschen yelled back, also annoyed but smiling.