After dinner
Remus was working on some of his papers , sitting on the couch in his bedroom . He was appointed as the Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor at Hogwarts soon after he completed School .
Sirius walks in the room , and casually just places himself on Remus' lap , gently starts kissing each of Remus' scars , so delicately that Remus felt a feather was just sliding along his skin .
Just yesterday was a Full Moon , and though James and Sirius were with him , Remus got a few scratches on himself .
Sirius applies ointment to Remus' injuries . And with utmost care to not hurt Moony's scars , hugs him . Remus leans forward to let Sirius place his hands on his back to hug him and then moves back to lean against the couch . Remus is still engrossed in his papers , not moving an eye for a second .
Sirius places his head over Remus' chest .
He felt his soul alive listening to his soulmate's heartbeats .
And though it appeared as Remus was just busy in his work , with Sirius simply hugging him , no , time had actually slowed down! Slowed down for them to be in the arms of bliss , of each other , a little longer!
A few moments later
Sirius being dramatic , pulling the papers from Remus' hands and throwing them , "Pay attention to me! Enough of your work now . This is downright a sin! you're spending a lot more time with these books and your work than me! LOOK AT ME MOONY!"
Remus slightly chuckling , taking eyes off his papers for the first time since Sirius had entered the room , "Stop being a drama queen . You ? And let me spend even a second more with anything or anybody than you? Well that'd be a miracle Sirius!"
Sirius crossed his arms and fake crying , posing he didn't hear Remus , "You don't love me anymore Remus! Always giving reasons , HOW ? How on this earth can you look at anything else when I'm in front of you ?! The most beautiful , pretty , charism..."
Those words never came out , Sirius went shut , his eyes widened with surprise , and shock to be specific , Remus had placed his lips upon his , placing his arms around Sirius , pulling him closer , one hand playing with Sirius' long luscious black hair , the other around his back , he kissed Sirius playfully , gently with love and was low key enjoying (even smiling at) the shock Sirius had on his face .
Remus looked straight in Sirius' eyes , "I can never not love you Sirius Black! Sure , you're a douchy-pain-in-the-ass-idjit sometimes , well" rolling his eyes "all the time! But you're my idjit! "
"I , umm , Moony .. I.. "
"Merlin's beard! I got you all tongue tied ,I got Sirius fucking Black all tongue tied , oh my god! This is a historic moment!"
Sirius suddenly regained himself back from the sweet shock , "I .. No ,No , you didn't , you just caught me off guard , I was .. "
Remus smirks , "And what made you let your guards down ?"
Sirius , struggling for a comeback ( only Remus had this effect on him ) "St..Stop being me" pointing to himself "only I can be dramatic , that's only my right"
Remus opens his mouth to speak but Sirius starts as he couldn't stand not having a dramatic sassy comeback to being teased by Remus any further .
Moony was right after all , he'd left Sirius dumbstruck , it was almost always Sirius to initiate an intimate bold moment , rarely so Remus did it , but when he did , like now , the effect it had on Sirius was priceless .
Remus sensed that and chuckled .
"Nothing now , YOU need to sleep , c'mon now "
Remus , still smiling at Sirius' cuteness, shaking his head , "yeah yeah"
Remus picked Sirius up , in his arms , and laid him on bed , pulled the sheets up to him and lied down next to him .
Sirius switched off the lights and stretched out his left arm for Remus to lay his head on Sirius' chest , close to his heart , Remus hugged Sirius and snuggled closer to him . And Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus protectively . This was the place Remus felt the most safe , the most content , this is what heaven must feel like!
The ceiling was bewitched to reveal the blanket of beautiful stars above it! (Not the moon of course)
And they slipped into deep slumber as the music kept playing at a low and soothing volume in the background .
Why ? Well , Sirius I-Know-It-All-Screw- The-Books Black had actually been reading since the last couple months , one of those books said , Listening to Music while sleeping can have a relaxing effect hence inducing a peaceful and sound sleep . And Sirius immediately started with this "music therapy" for Remus .
He worked on creating a playlist of soulful , beautiful and peaceful songs with Lily's help (Muggle insight , you see)
Though of course Remus was being all fussy about it at first , he didn't really care about his sleeping schedules , but Sirius did!
And not even the devil would refuse to Sirius once the puppy eyes showed up , so Remus eventually gave in . Music and Sirius' arms were aiding Remus' sleep greatly . And he was now , actually enjoying the music , and appreciating the decent amounts of sleep he was getting , but never admitted it .
How could he ? Afterall , negligence to himself , was something he adhered to , probably the only thing Sirius hated and wanted to change about Remus .
Midnight 2am , Defenceless was playing .
I come runnin' to you
like a moth into a flame
You tell me, "Take it easy,"
but it's easier to say
Wish I didn't need so much of you
I hate to say, but I do
We're sleepin' on our problems
like we'll solve them in our dreams
We wake up early morning and
they're still under the sheets
Remus started sweating and panicking in his sleep suddenly , Sirius moved a bit while still asleep , but the next second woke up with a jerk listening to Remus' scared shout "NO! No , PLEASE I beg you , please , kill me instead , No! STOP! STOP TORTURING JAMES AND SIRIUS! Stop! Please! No!"
Sirius started waking up Remus at these words , fear and panic clearly visible on both their faces . "Moony! Get up Moony , it's just a bad dream , Moony , Wake up!"
Remus opened his eyes with a gasp , but his nightmare wasn't over! He was hallucinating now , he could see Sirius and James lying on the floor across the room , rolling on the floor , writhing in pain , getting tortured .
"Moony! Look at me , here Moony , Moony?"
Remus was sitting restlessly on the bed with Sirius' arms around him , started shouting louder, and panicked like Sirius had never seen before , " STOPPPP! Don't torture them!"
He was sobbing harder than ever , literally begging "KILL ME! That's what you want , kill me you bastard! No! NO! .." he started towards the floor where in his hallucinations Sirius and James were lying in agony , to save them .
But couldn't go , Sirius struggled to hold him back , "Moony , MOONY! Look at me , whatever you saw was a dream , here right here , this is REAL! " trying to turn Remus , to face him , Sirius didn't know what horrifying sights were in front of Remus , but was determined to calm him down
"Look at me!" , Sirius pleaded
I'm lost in my head
I'm spinnin' again
Tryna find what to say
to you
Sweating , panicking and confused , struggling to get away with Sirius' hold on him , to save his best friend and his love , finally facing the real Sirius .
"No , No! you're not real , you're Voldemort , playing with my mind , I know it! So I won't go and save my friends" shaking his head "No!"
Remus tried to wrangle himself out of Sirius' hold "I won't fall in your trap , LEAVE ME! SIRIUS!" looking at the floor , gasping in horror
Been up all night
All night runnin' all my lines
But it’s only the truth
"REMUS JOHN LUPIN!" jerking Remus to face him , as he wouldn't budge to look at Sirius "There's no Voldemort here! I am real , I don't know what you're seeing down there on the floor , but there's one thing for sure , that thing down there IS NOT REAL!"
Been up all night
Not sure how to say this right
Got so much to lose
Shaking his head Remus shouted , "YOU'RE LYING! I know it , Sirius and James are getting tortured" trying to reach down there , crying "I NEED to save .."
Never been so defenceless (Oh)
Never been so defenceless (Ooh)
You just keep on buildin' up your fences (Oh)
But I've never been so defenceless (Ooh)
(Ooh, ooh, ooh)
(Ooh, ooh, ooh)
You just keep on buildin' up your fences (Ooh, ooh, ooh)
But I've never been so defenceless (Ooh, ooh, ooh
Sirius kneeled , pulled Remus hard , up towards him , on his knees , holding his waist and back , and kissed Remus with such force , he almost fell back . The kiss was fueled with passion and love! Sirius despite being so firm was so gentle! He was holding Remus , with one hand near his neck , his fingers tracing up Remus' hair carresly . The touch of Sirius' lips onto him , seemed to have calmed Remus down! The creases between his eyebrows had vanished , his heart was still beating faster , only now it was because of Sirius , and not fear!
He knew this , it was familiar , this could never be fake or made up .
It was not about the physicality of it. It was sheerly about the feeling , the feeling of Sirius' strong yet gentle arms around him , the feeling of those protective fingers stroking his hair , the feeling of intimacy , of not their lips but their souls , so close! bound to each other by love , that is what assured Remus that this was real , indeed! This was his magical reality he would never mistake for anything else!
No, you don’t have to keep on
being strong for me and you
Acting like you feel no pain,
you know I know you do
Remus had stopped crying too , the minute Sirius kissed him . He hugged Sirius now , pulling him even closer . And though Remus did not kiss back Sirius , he let Sirius kiss him , he was just there , in what he felt, was beautiful than any happiness in this entire world , wanting to get lost in the undying love , within the bubble of Sirius' protection .
And I can't get inside when
you're lost in your pride
But you don't have a thing
to prove
When Sirius opened his eyes , before he could cup Remus' face in his palms , Remus buried his head in Sirius' neck , not wanting to break the hug , held him even tighter . Remus wanted this moment to hold on , a little longer , just a little!
Sirius understood his Moony and hugged him back .
Been up all night, all night runnin' all my lines
But it's only the truth
Been up all night, not sure how to say this right
Got so much to lose
After a few minutes
Still hugging each other , eyes still closed
"Sirius ?"
"Moony ?"
Remus faintly chuckles , "I want to be in the balcony , by myself , for some time"
Sirius , looking at Remus , still holding him , "Alright Moony , but not without this"
And hands him a chocolate bar , that was by the bed .
Remus smiles , kissing his cheek "You're the best!"
Sirius flips his hair dramatically "I know!"
Never been so defenceless (Oh)
Never been so defenceless (Ooh)
You just keep on buildin' up your fences (Oh)
But I've never been so defenceless (Ooh)
(Ooh, ooh, ooh)
(Ooh, ooh, ooh)
You just keep on buildin' up your fences (Ooh, ooh, ooh)
But I've never been so defenceless (Ooh, ooh, ooh)
Remus was standing at the edge , the cool breeze of air was swiftly passing across his face . When suddenly , a familiar pair of hands slid across his waist and held him from behind . Sirius crouched a bit to place his head on Remus' shoulder . His breath on Remus' neck was giving him(Remus) major butterflies and goosebumps!
No! Sirius was not invading the personal space and time Remus wanted . Sirius knew Remus was onto overthinking , in his Remus I-don't-deserve-so-much-love-I-don't-want-Sirius-
being-troubled-because-of-me Lupin mode . Sure , Sirius was a drama queen and wanted Remus' undivided attention all the time , but he did respect the fact that a human needs their own space , time with themselves . But since this was not that , this was Remus' self-doubting and questioning himself time with himself , Sirius budged in .
"Moony , I know what you're thinking , but you need to stop! This is probably the only thing you are ever wrong with.."
I hope that I'm not asking too much
Just wanna be loved by you (Don't you be so defensive)
"I'm not wrong! You don't understand Sirius , this burden , of letting you down , letting James down , seeing you all troubled because of me , it's.." tightly shutting his eyes "devastating!`` Welling up "seeing you worried is heartbreaking Sirius!" Remus got out the last few words with great difficulty , as he was choking up
And I'm too tired to be tough
Just wanna be loved by you
"It's heartbreaking only because you see it that way Moony! We share our happiness , love , all our mischievous moments together , then why does sharing a little moonlit furry problem worries you so much?"
Never been so defenceless
Never been so defenceless
And you just keep on buildin' up your fences
But I've never been so defenceless
Turning Remus to face himself , holding his arms, Sirius grins , "I mean c'mon , according to your logic , I should have killed myself a 100 times for having you to bear with my dramatic and oh , by the way , sassy ass"
Remus smiling at Sirius' dramatics , "That is different Sirius , that's who you are , and I love you .." (seeing Sirius light up , and just to not praise him to a point he starts being narcissist again , he changed his words "I love you for that" to "I love you not for that , but despite that")
But Remus said exactly what Sirius wanted to hear to convince Remus!
(Ooh, ooh, ooh)
(Ooh, ooh, ooh)
You just keep on buildin' up your fences (Ooh, ooh, ooh)
Defenceless (Ooh, ooh, ooh)
Never been so defenceless (Oh)
Never been so defenceless (Ooh)
You just keep on buildin' up your fences (Oh)
But I've never been so defenceless (Ooh)
Sirius , smiling broadly , "Ha! See! That's exactly my point! That's what you are , you can't change it , but that's not who you are! That doesn't mean you don't deserve the best Moony! I love you despite your furry stuff , it doesn't bother me at all , in fact I love taking care of you , you deserve all the love" kissing Remus' forehead "I love you for the person you really are! Stop being so harsh to yourself , stop judging yourself because of that fucking Greyback , screw him! You have an identity , a charming personality of your own other than the full moons . And that's who you really are , Moony! You're kind , compassionate and loving! You're not a burden! Could never be! You're a boon for us , for James , Lily , Me! And every damn person .."
Before Sirius could complete that sentence , in a jiff Remus hugged him tight!
You just keep on buildin' up your fences (Oh)
But I've never been so defenceless (Ooh)
Sirius , hugging him back , "around you! You're the best thing that happened to me Moony! I love you!"
And they stood there , under the magical dome of stars , for a while , before going back to slumber in each other's arms!