the beginning
Remus exhaled. He was just let onto his (15-minute) break from the inn he'd been working at for the past year. It was dingy and cramped, but he had spent so much time there, it felt like a second home to him. He stepped outside, walking into the alley behind the inn.
Usually, he worked the bar. It wasn't Remus' preferred job, but hey, it worked. Working at a bar with a bunch of drunks attempting to hit on him still made him a bit uneasy, but the job had given him a lot more assertion and confidence. All in all, it wasn't too bad.
"What the fuck?" an unfamiliar voice had just exclaimed. As the voice had said this, four boys walked into the alley.
He crouched a little lower, avoiding looking at them and hoping they wouldn't notice him. A little peace and quiet during his short break was all he'd asked for!
"You heard what I said." Shit, was he going to have to break up a fight? His manager would not be pleased if he let a fight break out where any of the guests could find them.
"God, Snivellus, this is where I – no, we – draw the line. No one wants you to shove your bigoted opinions down our throats." This voice was more relaxed than the other two, and he had a slight accent - French?
Remus risked a peek over at them. Two were clearly getting ready for a brawl. Damn it, he was going to have to break up a fight.
"Oi, what're you doing?" He called over to them, putting on his 'I am an authoritative and responsible adult' voice.
Their heads snapped over to him, making it clear that they hadn't seen him earlier.
"I work here," he pointed to the inn. "And you four are not going to get me in trouble. Go find another alley to fight in." He waved his hand, dismissing them.
None of them seemed to know how to respond, they were kind of staring at him: taking him in.
Remus was tall and lean. Taller than any of these guys, he knew that by just looking at them. He wasn't too muscular, but he could definitely hold his own in a fight. But those weren't the things that were deterring them, no, that was his scars. He had them all over his body. They'd turned silvery over time and had faded considerably since when he had got them, but they were easily the most noticeable things about his appearance.
He squinted at them in the darkness. The four boys were quite different in appearance.
The first was tall and lanky. He had light brown skin, round glasses, and messy black hair. He looked confident and assured, and he was holding what appeared to be a microphone.
The second one was short and stubby. He was blond and extremely pale, looking almost sickly.
The third... damn. Damn . He was shorter than the first but clearly taller than the second. He had black hair, just like the first boy, but he was pale. Unlike the second, however, he seemed to be glowing in the darkness, also exuding that aura of assertion and courage. This was one of the two who had been gearing up to fight. He was smirking as he looked over Remus.
The fourth was... interesting, to say the least. His hair was greasy and he had a scowl on his face. He had something slung across his back, a guitar?
Ah. It clicked in Remus's head: this was the band from earlier.
"That won't be necessary, I think we're done here." The one with the glasses was speaking now, clearly the voice who had first alerted Remus of their presence. Remus vaguely recalled the name: Jason? Or was it James? Yeah, it was James.
"What? You're kicking me out? We both know you don't have the guts to do that, Potter." The greasy-haired guy – Snivellus, had they called him? – sneered.
"Try me."
Remus braced himself. It was going to get physical, it seemed. But the guy just jeered and walked away.
"Damn it, he was our ride." It was the hot guy, the drummer of the band.
"Oh, yeah, just our ride. Not our fucking bassist that you just got rid of , huh, Sirius?" The short one shot back at the drummer who now had a name – Sirius.
"Calm down, Peter, you know that we had to do that." This was James.
"Did we, James? It really couldn't have waited until after the concert? You know we have that gig with the producer! How're we going to get hired if we don't have a bassist?"
"Oh shit." Sirius groaned. "I totally forgot about that.."
"We could ask Lily if she knows anyone..?" This appeared to be James.
Remus was just about getting ready to leave at this point, he felt a little creepy listening in now that he knew they weren't going to endanger his job, and his break was just about to be over anyway.
"Asking Lily is what got us into this mess! No, we need to find someone else."
"Fine, Pete. Oi," Sirius started to say at Remus. "D'ya know how to play the bass?" He had said the last line wandering closer, slowly, like he had all the time in the world.
Remus' eyes narrowed. What was his angle? After a bit of weighing the pros and cons of telling the truth that, yes, he did know how to play the bass (Pros: he could get some practice and gets to hang out with the hot guy. Cons: they could be a gang of killers and he could be setting himself up to be brutally murdered.) he decided that, eh, worth a shot.
"I do."
"Great," Sirius was closer now, less than an arms-length away. They held eye contact for another – electrifying – minute.
Remus awkwardly cleared his throat and started to back away. "Uh, I should be going. Break's over, and all that."
"Oh, yeah, sorry, mate, um." Sirius retreated back to his band, and the three were just leaving when Jaso– James , sorry – remembered something.
"Hey, tomorrow meet us at the old warehouse down McBurrey's. At 2-ish, yeah? It's where we practice."
Once he agreed to meet them at the warehouse, they left, leaving Remus alone with his thoughts.
This was sure to be an interesting summer.
The next morning, Remus was prepared to do the same as the rest of this week: wake up, grab some sort of breakfast, watch Teddy (his four-year-old) until Marlene (his roommate) came back from her work, hang out with her and Teddy for a while, and then go to work.
His shifts were at night this week (7pm to 1am was the official time), but every other week it would be mornings (10am to 4pm). Every other week, Marlene had night shifts as well, so she would watch Teddy during the day, and he would watch him during the night. It makes more sense with practice, don't worry.
But today, of course, he had band practice.
In which case, he would have to change up his schedule. It was still his turn to watch Teddy, and Marlene had already left for work... he had two options regarding Teddy: ask Marlene to come home and watch him, or hire a babysitter. Which Teddy had never had before.
He couldn’t ask Marlene to come home; she already did so much for him. And he couldn’t go and find a random babysitter, because Teddy was a little demon and would send them running for the hills in mere seconds. Instead he went to go see a friend.
"Oliver, mate, how are you? Haven't seen you in forever!" Remus exclaimed as Oliver opened his door.
"Remus! Oh wow, Teddy’s getting so old now!"
"Ah, here, take him. My arms are getting sore," Remus complained as he passed Teddy to Oliver. He had known him since they were in middle school, which was saying something, considering they were both 21 now, and Remus rarely kept in touch with people from his past.
"Oh my god, you look so different since the last time I saw you!" Oliver said with Teddy now perched on his hip, giving Remus a side hug.
"I know, right? When was the last time we hung out together, in person?"
"Maybe, like, back in May? When we went to that escape room, remember?"
"Oh my god, I've missed you. Let's hang out more, yeah?"
"Definitely. You wanna come in?" Oliver gestures towards the inside of his apartment flat, smiling. Remus and Oliver don't live far from each other, but life had gotten in the way recently and they had gone over 3 months without seeing each other, which was a new record.
"Hell yeah, I have so much to tell you. Oh, and really, Oliver, thank you for agreeing to watch Teddy today."
Eventually, the time came for Remus to leave. He said goodbye to Oliver (with promises to meet up more frequently) and Teddy (with multiple hugs and kisses, and promises to be back before Teddy ate dinner), and began the journey to McBurrey's.
When he arrived at quarter to two, there were already two cars in the driveway. That surprised him, he was prepared to be first there.
Remus pushed open the door, thoughts running rampant through his mind: he had realized he didn't know anything about these people other than they had a band, they kicked out their old bassist, and their drummer was hot. Yeah, that was about all he knew.
Oh well. YOLO, right?
The two people that were already there were James and Peter. Sirius hadn't arrived yet, but he didn’t keep them waiting for long.
Band practice didn't turn out to be too bad. He didn’t get brutally murdered, at least. James, who was the lead singer, was a good teacher. Remus knew the four songs they were going to be doing at the concert, and he considered that an accomplishment.
He left in a good mood at around 5, picked up Teddy and watched a Disney movie with him while waiting for Marlene to come home, ate dinner with Marlene and him, and then left to work.
The next three weeks were, more or less, the same. The band and he had fallen into an easy routine, and by the days before the concert, he'd become much more comfortable with them.
One day, however, things went a little differently.
James and Peter both had had to leave early, saying that they had some sort of cake to bake. Someone named Lily's birthday?
So now it was just him and Sirius.
They had been sitting on the counter when James and Peter had left. The distance (or lack thereof) between them hadn't felt weird before, but now that they were alone, the air seemed to be electrified.
Remus cleared his throat, which he seemed to always do in uncomfortable situations, and then attempted to slide off the countertop, almost falling flat on his face. Well, guess he successfully diffused tension?
Sirius smirked at his antics and then slid off. Graceful as always.
"So, uh, you're not going to help bake the cake? For Lily, I mean."
"Please, I'm hopeless at it. Once I tried to make butter chicken with James’ help, and I almost lit our kitchen on fire."
Remus snickered. Sirius' eyes flickered to his lips, and then away so fast, Remus almost thought he had imagined it.
There was that feeling again, that electric one.
Fuck, Remus hated this. Because he and Sirius should be nothing – no, they were nothing, except for these, these moments . And Sirius probably was straight. Sirius probably had a girlfriend. Damn it, why is he even thinking about dating Sirius. This is so stupid. They had met less than a month ago, for god's sake.
"So. Um. Excited for tomorrow?"
Sirius raised an eyebrow at Remus's attempt to get rid of the tension.
"Yeah, sure to be fun. Wonder if we'll get the job, though." He looked at Remus meaningfully before continuing. "Could change our lives."
Remus raised an eyebrow. "Are you trying to ask me if I'm all in or something?"
Sirius laughed, and god , it was a wonderful, carefree sound. Remus never wanted to stop hearing it. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess that is what I'm trying to ask."
"Then, my good sir, yes. I am all in." Was he, though? Remus wasn't one to abandon everything for a shot at stardom.
But then Sirius smiled so brightly, it made Remus regret doubting it.
"So. Who's all the love songs James writes for?"
"Ah, the magnificent specimen named Lily. James has been in love with her since we were 13." Sirius rolled his eyes fondly before continuing his story. "Lily walked past him and the first thing he said after she was gone was: 'I'm going to marry that girl.' Bloody hilarious to the rest of us, but he was dead serious."
"I thought you were Sirius?" Remus hated the overused pun, but honestly, he had to. How could he not?
"Ugh, be quiet," Sirius groaned.
"No, but honestly? That's such a cute story. That Lily girl is a lucky one."
"Damn right. James is such a good guy, took me in when we were 16."
"Wow."
"Yeah, he's more of a brother to me than my real one ever was." Ouch, there was a packed sentence if Remus had ever seen one. He didn't know how to respond to something like that, so he just shrugged and looked away.
Wow, Remus, always the talker, huh? he thought.
Shut up, he told himself.
"Well, uh. Want something to drink?" Sirius gestured to the fridge – yeah, there was a fridge in this old place. The group must've moved some stuff in?
“Yeah, I'll have something. Er, what do you have?"
"Take a look!"
Remus wandered over to the fridge. They had beer, soda, wine, champagne... Wait, what?
Sirius let out a breathy laugh at Remus' confused look.
God, what I wouldn't give to hear that again.
Shut up, shut up, shut up. This is not the time! Not with him leaning over me like that …
God, I'm screwed.
"That's for parties," Sirius said, effectively pulling Remus from his thoughts.
"Have many parties around here?"
"Obviously." He wiggled his eyebrows.
"God, you're ridiculous."
"Damn right I am." The bastard winked at him. God, Remus' resolve was not going to last for long if things keep going like this.
Remus grabbed a bottle at random and took a long swig, keeping eye contact with Sirius the entire time. He was acutely aware of the distance between them, which is to say, none at all.
Sirius let out another breathy laugh and ran his hand through his hair.
They were close enough now that Remus could clearly see the colours of his eyes. A deep blue. And an icy grey ring around that. With white flecks. Shit, how was he so far gone already?
They stared into each other's eyes for a moment longer, both absorbed in each other. The only thing separating them was the bottle in Remus's hands. It was now pressed between both their chests.
"Um, um, uh. Can, I, um." Sirius gestured towards the bottle.
"Huh? Oh. Oh . Yeah, here you go." Remus thrust the bottle into Sirius' hands, and then took a step back. Or tried to, at least, before he was reminded by a hard surface that he had been nearly pressed against the fridge.
"Thanks, Remus."
Remus let out a shiver at his name being said. God, he was acting like a teenage girl.
Sirius took a long swig, mirroring Remus's from earlier. This was too much. Remus took a step to the side, diffusing the tension.
"So, uh, when will I meet the infamous Lily?"
"You want to talk about Lily right now?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.
"Yup, uh yeah. When can I meet her? 'Cause she sounds amazing."
“She should be at the concert, if she decides to listen to Prongs.”
This took Remus aback, he wasn't expecting to actually meet her so soon; the concert had been rapidly approaching, and it was in four days. But one other thing Sirius had said had reminded him of a question he'd had for a while.
"Prongs?"
"Oh, yeah," Sirius smiled sheepishly. "We've been trying to use our real names instead because it could confuse you, but habit had its way, I guess. Prongs is his nickname, we all have one."
"Ah, that explains it. Hate to be the one to tell you this, though, but you've not been succeeding in trying to use your real names. But anyways, what's everyone's nicknames?"
"Mine's Padfoot, and Peter's is Wormtail. And, obviously, Prongs is James."
"Can I ask why?"
"Oh. Oh! Yeah, totally. Prongs is because he accidentally stuck a fork into a toaster – don't ask how – Padfoot is because when we were in school and used to be pranking people left and right, I could sneak around really well. It was apparently like I had pads on my feet. Wormtail was, er, I'll spare you the story. Just know it involves Peter, a worm's tail, and spaghetti."
Remus' eyes widened. "You don't mean–"
"I do." Sirius was nodding solemnly.
"God, and you all remind him of that horrible, horrible moment every time you say his name? Bastards, the lot of you."
Sirius rolled his eyes, but before he could respond, there was a loud banging on the door.
"I'll get it," Remus began to walk towards the door.
"'Kay, I'll just wait here!"
When he opened the mahogany door, he found three people he did not expect to see: James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Lily-Fucking-Evans.
"Lily! What the hell?" He immediately went to hug her.
"Oh my god, Remus?" She squeezed him so tight that he could barely feel his arms. She moved her hand to his cheek and rested it there, looking at his scars sadly. If it had been anyone else, he would've cringed away from the touch. But not her, never her.
"It's been too long, Lils, it really has."
" Lils? " James exclaimed.
"God, Remus! It'd been like you disappeared off the face of the Earth!"
" Me ? I've been here, like, my whole life! You're the one who got a scholarship to that posh-ass school and literally vanished!"
She hugged him again. "God, I can't believe it's you!"
"Okay, care to explain?" Peter said, looking between the two of them.
"Yeah, how do you two know each other?"
"How does who know each other?" Sirius had wandered over with the bottle in his hand.
"Remus and Lily!" James was acting as if it was a ground-shattering, mind-blowing occasion.
"Fine, fine, I'll tell you, James. We met at school and became friends. Then she had to move. That's all, honestly." He shrugged.
"Oh. That's a bit of a let-down."
"Wait, hold on, Lily, it's your birthday? I thought your birthday was, like, end of January?"
"Oh! That's kinda why we came! It isn't actually Lily's birthday. It was a prank." James frowned playfully.
"Wow, the student has become the master, eh, Lily?" Sirius smiled and raised the bottle as if it were a toast.
"Damn right, Sirius. Next thing you know, I'll be upstaging the rest of your pranks!" she said with a grin.
Sirius gasped. “You wouldn’t dare!”
“Oh, but I would. Anyways, what're we going to do on my 'birthday,' y'all?"
"Ooh! Ooh! I have an idea! Let's play Truth or Dare!" Peter said this proudly.
"Eh, sounds fun enough? Let's do it," Remus had agreed immediately. Time to get to know the group a little better, and hopefully get fabulously drunk by the end of it. Especially with no work today.
They all headed to the sitting room, which was honestly just a room with a rug and some chairs thrown in it. They all took a seat on the ground and made a circle. Remus, Lily, Sirius, James, Peter.
"Okay, I want to go first! Hmm, who should I pick? Remus, mate, truth or dare?" James grinned wickedly and he knew that if he picked dare, it would not be fun for him.
Well. Now or never, right?
"Dare."
James smirked again. "I, James Potter, hereby dare you, Remus Lupin," James began with a hand on his heart, and one raised in the air, the drama queen. "To, um, kiss the prettiest person in the room. On the cheek. Yeah, yeah, on the cheek."
Well. Fuck James Potter.
Okay, let's think this through: He obviously couldn't do Sirius. He could like, ask for a mirror or something and pretend he thinks he’s the prettiest in the room, but that's not really like him. Lily? Yeah, let's do Lily.
He leaned over to his right and gave her a peck on the cheek. She smiled, and he smiled back, grateful for the out. Sirius looked at him pretending to be wounded, but he was smiling so Remus didn't take it seriously.
"My turn now, right?" Nods and murmurs of assent. "Okay. Truth or dare, err, Sirius?"
"Hm. Let's go with truth. I don't trust you, Lupin."
"I ask you, err, wait, guys? What happens if he doesn't answer?"
"What're you planning , Remus?!" Sirius exclaimed, looking worried.
Remus smiled mischievously, mirroring James' from earlier. "Nothing to worry your pretty little head about." Remus winked, feeling more confident than he had earlier, feeling satisfied when Sirius turned a faint red.
"When people say no, um, how about they have to take a drink?"
"Or! Hear me out: Strip Truth or Dare. They have to take an item of clothing off."
"Or, or–"
"One idea was fine, guys. How about we combine yours, Lily, with the stripping one? Like they have to do both yours and James'?"
"Ay, Remus, I like that!"
"Wow Remus, now I feel like you're just trying to get me naked." He just said that. Sirius really just said that. In front of everyone! Wow. That man has no shame whatsoever.
"Who's trying to get who naked?" Peter said, looking between them.
"No one, no one's trying to do anything, Peter."
"Mm-hmm. Sure ." Peter said with raised eyebrows.
"Oh, be quiet. Sirius, I ask you, um? What's the most embarrassing moment in your life so far? In detail." It was an overused ask, but it was a good one. Especially since he was just getting to know them properly.
"Oh. Um. Yeah, I'll skip it. Oh yeah, I'm definitely skipping that."
Remus tried not to look disappointed. He wasn't, really, but he had been hoping for an answer. "Go on, then, Black. Take a drink."
"And?" Sirius said with a tantalizing smirk.
Remus just threw up his middle finger in lieu of response, at which Sirius snorted.
Sirius took a long swig and swiped off his shirt in one swift motion.
The first thing he noticed was his muscles.
Wow. Um. Wow. Does he work out every day or some shit? Um. That's um, unfair.
He was lean but muscular and he had tattoos. He had fucking tattoos. Sirius Orion Black was going to be the end of him.
When Remus looked up, he found Sirius watching him. The absolute bastard winked at him, mouthing "There's more where that came from."
Remus rolled his eyes at his blatant flirting. He’d gotten used to it, but sometimes it could still fluster him.
Twelve turns later, Remus and Sirius were shirtless, Peter was in his boxers, Lily had no socks or shoes, and James had all his clothes. Not because he had gotten off easy, it was because he'd done all of the absurd things he'd been dared to do and more.
They hadn't gotten as fabulously drunk as Remus had wanted, but the night had been fun nonetheless.
"Well, I should be heading out. Teddy'll be wanting his dad and all that."
This was met with looks of confusion all around the room.
"Dad? What do you mean?" This was Sirius.
"Shit. Um. I forgot to tell you guys. Uh, Teddy's my son. Almost four years old." Remus looked Sirius in the eye as he said this, daring him to say something bigoted.
"Mate, you didn't tell us you had a kid! Who's watching him now, his mum?" Remus sighed, relieved at James's nonchalant comment. It's not like having a kid so young is looked up to.
"Ah, no, that'd be my roommate, Marlene. His mum's in France right now, touring the world with her girlfriend. Oh, yeah, we're not together anymore, by the way. We agreed to be just friends when she was pregnant."
"Ah, I see. Sorry for keeping you so long, Rem, then, you've got a child to get back to!" Peter said, smiling.
Lily kissed his cheek. "Love you, Remus."
Remus smiled at the reassurance. Yes, they hadn't talked for about 7 years, but their bond wasn't so easily severed.
Sirius still hadn't said anything. Was that a dealbreaker? If it was, that sucks for Sirius, because there was a zero percent chance that Teddy was going to be going anywhere.
Remus grabbed his shirt and pulled it on over his head. "Well, bye, everyone, have a nice night and all that shit."
A chorus of "Goodnight, Remus!" from all around the room. Sirius not included.
That night. when he got home, the first thing he did was pick up a sleepy Teddy from Marlene's arms.
"Hey, buddy!" Remus smiled and gave him a big hug.
"Dada!" Teddy hugged his neck. "Auntie Marlene said you was with your friends. Did you have fun, Dada? Did you play tag? That's what I do when I'm with my friends!"
Remus smiled at his son's enthusiasm at seeing him. It always made him happy. "Aw, no, buddy. We didn't play tag, we were playing a different game and talking."
"What did you talk abo–" Teddy yawned in the middle of his sentence.
"We talked about you, bear," Remus poked Teddy in his stomach, which Teddy giggled at. "And we talked about how adorable you are! Now, is it time for bed, munchkin?"
"Yeah.. I'm sleepy."
"Let's get you to bed then, bear."
Remus couldn't fall asleep. He couldn't stop thinking about the events of the day (read: he couldn't stop thinking about Sirius).
So, he did what he always did when he couldn't sleep. Remus wrote a song.