Chapter 1
‘I’ll take him.’ He looked around, face neutral, he had finally said what he had been meaning to for at least 10 minutes and wasn’t going to let anybody see how worried he was now.
As what had been proposed sank in, all eyes turned to the young man at the far end of the table. Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, hardly enough to have happened at all but Regulus noticed it.
‘I’m sorry?’
‘I’ll take him. Harry, the boy. I can look after him.’ Dumbledore smiled kindly, if you could call it kindly, it made him look like a politician falsely assuring his people every word he spoke was true and it made Regulus want to strangle him as much as it had when he was still at hogwarts.
‘Mr Black, I’m intrigued as to your…connection to the boy. What makes you the right man to have him? From what I know you’ve never even met him? Why should you have him and not anybody else?’ They hated the way Dumbledore said have, like Harry was an object somebody could just own. He tried as much as he could to stay calm whilst answering, certain that showing too much emotion would lessen his chance of being picked to care for Harry. If they messed this up he didn’t think he could forgive himself, he knew where Dumbledore and the others wanted to send the poor child and knew he couldn’t let that happen. Not only would he never be able to forgive himself but if he were here, James would never have forgiven them either.
Of course if James were here, none of this would be an issue in the first place. He tried not to dwell on that.
‘Well I’m a person who is right in front of you telling you that I want to take care of the boy, I don’t see what you-‘
‘You see? This is why we should have just sent the boy off to his family immediately. This whole enterprise is utterly ridiculous.’ Severus Snape’s familiar emotionless drawl had lost any of the pain and grief it had held at the start of the meeting when they were speaking about Lily Potter. Bloody psychopath.
‘And let them hurt him? Oh come on Severus, you’re smarter than that, surely? Don’t tell me that after all those years of knowing the- m….that after all those years of knowing Lily, she never once mentioned how disgusting her sister's husband was? Of did you never actually listen to anything she said because I have never even spoken to the girl and even I know-‘
‘Don’t you dare mention her! This has nothing to do with me and Lily!’ Me and Lily. That made him feel sick. She had just died at the age of 21, having heard her husband die just seconds before, leaving her infant an orphan and he was still speaking like they were still all….lovey dovey. Regulus wondered if they would ever be able to let themselves speak like that about James, they knew they still loved him but he also knew and acknowledged that James had died alongside his wife, whom he loved and that there were bigger things on the table here like the well-being of a 1 year old orphan. He raised a finger and opened his mouth to say all this, well, as much as he could say without giving away anything…unorthodox, but was interrupted before he could get a word in.
‘Gentlemen!’ Dumbledore’s voice rang out clearly, bringing silence to the table. Regulus sat back in his chair, letting his hands drop onto the table with a slight thud. ‘Now, let’s not get aggressive shall we? This is a very tense situation and although I understand we are all stressed about what is happening to the boy, it could do without being made any worse, don’t you agree? I think we can all admit that it was an extremely wise call from Minerva to suggest that we discuss the fate of the boy to all involved or willing to give an opinion instead of making an instant judgement, even if it wasn’t my first thought either, yes?’ He looked around at the table where most people nodded and muttered, Regulus rolled his eyes but nodded too. It wouldn’t do Harry any good if they lost their temper now. Hopefully this didn’t drag on too much longer.
‘Mr Black, as you may be able to see, it is rather odd that you wish to have the boy, you must understand. You must know that it is a little difficult to completely trust you as you have the mark of the Dark Lord himself upon your arm, showing that you have fought alongside him. This combined with the fact that you have never been a part of the Order of The Phoenix...well…’
‘I have his mark and have never been a member of your Order yet I still did a better job defeating the Dark Lord than you lot so I fail to see your point there, Sir.’ He ignored the faces of shock and mild annoyance surrounding him. Dumbledore was smiling, again. It was honestly getting insufferable at this point.
‘Yes, yes, that is very well Mr Black. I am just concerned about the safety of young Mr Potter in the care of a previous Dea-‘
‘So you would sooner send him off to those muggle psychos and let them abuse him?’ A collective murmur.
‘This is ridiculous! He has no claim to the boy!’
A new voice spoke. ‘Actually,’ Lupin sounded broken and tired. It was no surprise he hadn’t spoken yet, he sounded like someone had a hand round his throat. Regulus couldn’t really blame him. Three of his friends had died that night and they have taken his….best friend? Partner? Boyfriend? And blamed him for it all. ‘He does have a claim.’ All eyes were now fixated on Lupin, expecting more. He kept his gaze in on the table, too damaged to make eye contact with anyone, like he didn’t want to admit any of them were there at all. Regulus knew that feeling well.
‘Would you…care to elaborate, Mr Lupin?’ Dumbledore offered sweetly yet almost reluctantly.
Remus Lupin pulled from his pocket a small bit of parchment. Dimbledore held out his hand expectantly but instead of giving it to his ad they all expected him to -Luke the mindless pawn they knew him to be would- he slid it across the table towards Regulus. Everyone followed the paper as it moved across the table and regulus picked it up softly again shakily, almost scared it would be a prank. He read it through a few times in his head before reading it out loud to stop everyone’s stares from burning through his flesh.
‘ 2nd January 1981
Remus,
We decided to give this to you because you are the one we trust to keep this paper safe without losing it. It is in regard to the chance that something may happen to us. If any tragedy were to leave Lily and I…unable to care for Harry, we would like to leave Harry in the care of you and Sirius. Peter couldn’t deal with the stress on top of his job and the best choice we really had considering the others lives is you two. I know neither of you would feel like you could but together you would taste our son perfectly, I know it.
If, for some reason, you are unable to do that, we would like you to leave him to either Dorcas or Regulus. Yes, Regulus Black. I know you still don’t like him and I know he will probably say no the second you ask, he’s never been one for domestics like that but please just ask him anyway, I know that if he wished to he could be a great parent and could raise my son just as well as Lily and I so please Remus, don’t ignore him, please. I believe I still know him and I think he is a good man, a good man who has done bad things but has turned around on them, don’t ask me how I know he has changed but I believe in him Rem. Please.
-Prongs’
‘Well I do believe it is settled then.’
Snape gaped at Dumbledore. ‘But how? That is hardly sufficient! It isn’t even a legal claim! It’s a little more scrawled out with no detail whatsoever! Lupin could easily have forged it!’
‘For what reason, Severus? I know what you mean but it is the only thing we have to base our decision on at the moment. Sirius Black is not able to care for him, Mr Lupin here has led us to believe he does not think he can parent the young boy and Dorcas Meadowes is dead so Mr Black is our only choice.’ Snape grumbled a little more but did not protest again. Dumbledore smiled. ‘Unless, of course, Mr Lupin here would be willing to take on the boy?’ Remus shook his head and Dumbledore nodded.
‘Well I believe that is that. Mr Regulus Black is now the guardian of Harry Potter.’
Regulus sighed out of relief and as he looked around the table at everybody, he saw Remus Lupin smile weakly and nod just enough for him to notice it. A nod that clearly meant Thank you.
-
When Harry was first handed over to him, the first thing Regulus noticed was that he was sleeping. The second is that he had been supplied with barely any of the boy’s or his parents’ belongings from the house but the first one was the thing that truly stuck in his mind. As the boy was lumped into his arms, wrapped in two separate blankets to protect him from the biting October cold. He was so much smaller than any other 1 year old Regulus has ever seen, (though he hadn’t really seen too many) if Regulus had to guess, they would not have thought him to be any more than 10 months of age. He was so small, so fragile, yet he had only hours ago managed to survive the killing curse of the Dark Lord himself due to some unexplainable reflection of the spell. How could he look so blissful after that? After witnessing his own mother being killed right in front of him? Merlin, he was only one year old, did he even have any understanding of what had happened? Did he think that Lily and James would be back to collect him again soon? The thought made Regulus feel empty inside and he found himself softly running a finger along Harry’s peaceful face, out of pity or as some form of apology and reassurance he didn’t know but he smiled as the boy moved into the touch, still asleep.
They kept looking down on the boy and his mind ended up drifting to James and Lily. They’d had lives, they had experienced so much in the small amount of years they were alive for, regulus remembered that and it made it all so much worse. Was Harry’s mind even developed enough to remember anything about them? At all? To register and recall what had happened to them just this night?
As though he had read Regulus’ mind, (though he knew he couldn’t have, after his mother using the same tricks on him, they would have been able to feel someone searching around in his thoughts) Hagrid spoke. ‘Well, ‘e may look peaceful now Mr Black but you should’ve seen ‘im only two hours ago, screamin’ like no other ‘e was. I wanted to ‘elp ‘im an’ all only Dumbledore told me to leave ‘im. Said ‘e would soon stop crying if we just left ‘im to it!’ Regulus tried not to snap. He knew that babies and toddlers often had to be left alone to ‘cry it out’ but this was ridiculous. The poor child had barely been in this world a year and had just now suffered more than countless adults yet his emotions were being completely ignored and belittled. This is why he despises Dumbledore.
Regulus decided to leave the conversation where it was and instead looked down at the cardboard box beside him, pulling young Harry closer to his chest to keep him warm. ‘Is that it?’ Hagrid followed Regulus’ gaze down to the box and nodded. The box was so tiny that at first Regulus thought somebody had placed an extension charm on it but it seemed that it was really just that small.
‘ ‘Fraid so Mr Black. You really do ‘ave to remember ‘at this was all extremely rushed and ‘at they couldn’t bring all of the stuff in the ‘ouse.’ He waited for Regulus to nod and when he did, continued. ‘To begin with ‘ey wanted to send the poor boy off with nothin’ at all!’ Regulus really didn’t see how this was supposed to make the situation better so he decided it was probably time to leave as it didn’t appear this conversation would get either of them anywhere.
‘Thank hit Hagrid. We should probably get moving before Harry gets cold or wakes up if that’s okay.’ Hagrid smiled and nodded. Regulus charmed the box to fit in his pocket and set off down the path and across the street, hearing his own footsteps click against the pavement softly as he walked, holding Harry closely too him as though he would disappear if Regulus’ grip was not strong enough. He stopped and turned around as he heard his band being called from behind them.
‘Mr Black!’ Hagrid was still stood in the same spot as he had been a moment ago. ‘Well done. For taking in the sweet thing. It’s no easy thing to sign yourself up for!’ Regulus nodded, not sure what the correct response was, before turning around and continuing to walk away.
It was then that Regulus seemed to realise that he had no idea whatsoever of what he was supposed to do next. He hadn’t hit a nice home to take Harry to and Grimmauld Place was a 2 hour walk from here. Besides, he didn’t fancy apparating with a baby in his arms, especially not back to that place. It wasn’t that it wasn’t a pleasant home, just that it didn’t seem a particularly nice place to look after a baby (he wondered if he only thought that because his childhood there had not been top notch). After a few moments of analysing his options, they crossed the road and headed in the direction of the nearest muggle bus stop.
As he stood under the shelter, the night air feeling clouded and suffocating around them, Regulus cast a simple warming charm on the two of them and watched as Harry snuggled further into his blankets, still as peaceful as before. The bus pulled close and Regulus slowly readjusted the weight of the sleeping child in order to get the small amount of muggle money he owned from his pocket.
Once on the bus, Regulus sat right at the front, next to an old lady with a little terrier and a walking stick. As the bus began to move along its course, she stared at the two of them for a long few minutes before eventually piping up. ‘What a beautiful little baby! So sweet and happy!’ Regulus couldn’t help but think about how Harry shouldn’t look happy at all. He should be devastated. Broken, destroyed. All he said was ‘Yeah, he’s adorable isn’t he?’
The old woman persisted. ‘Oh he looks just like you! It’s the hair! Those black curls are practically identical!’ Regulus didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at that comment so he just smiled politely. He couldn’t very well tell her the truth. That this was actually the freshly orphaned child of his ex-boyfriend and his wife whom he had never once met until just that night.
‘Er- thank you.’
Luckily, before too long, it was the old woman’s stop, and hollowing not too long after, Regulus’. He readjusted Harry’s blankets as he thanked the driver, starting on his short walk to the house.
As the front door creaked open, there was a loud crack, causing Harry to shuffle in his sleep, as Kreacher appeared just ahead of them. He began talking rather loudly, following Regulus as he walked through the hallway and into the living room, sitting in an armchair with Harry. ‘Oh Master Regulus, how much Kreacher has hoped to see you! Have you heard the news, Master? Terrible, very terrible indeed!’ Regulus shushed the house elf and Kreacher stepped closer, standing on his tiptoes and looking at what Regulus was holding.
‘Master Regulus, forgive Kreacher for asking but is that a-‘
‘Kreacher listen, I can’t explain it all just now but can you please make sure we have some suitable food in the case of Harry waking up? I’ll create a full list of what we’ll need tomorrow but please just….’
Kreacher nodded. ‘Yes, Master Regulus, of course Master Regulus.’ He scampered from the room, letting the door fall shut behind him.
Regulus looked down on the boy curled up in his arms and slowly, gently raised the hand Harry had grasped onto their thumb close to his face. He kissed it softly and whispered to the sleeping boy. ‘Harry James Potter. I will do everything in my power from this point onwards to give you an infinitely better childhood than I had. I promise.’ He smiled at the face of the sleeping infant and tried to pretend he could not feel the rest clinging to the corner of his eye.