How Does Anyone Know?
Monday morning was transfiguration and history of magic, then lunch, then potions and defense against the dark arts. Remus washed his face and brushed his teeth.
"Hey," came a voice from behind him. Sirius had entered the bathroom, his wounds from a couple days ago had healed significantly.
"Looking good, Sirius," Remus said.
"Don't go thinking I'm stealing your look now, Mooney," Sirius joked.
Remus chuckled "Don't suppose you're going to turn into a bludger next full moon, do ya?"
Sirius laughed, "It's a game of fetch fit for a werewolf."
Remus finished up his morning routine and was fully clean and dressed. Sirius was still combing out his bedhead.
"I'm heading down" Remus told Sirius as he left the bathroom.
"See ya in a bit," he responded.
Professor Binns is easily one of the most boring professors at Hogwarts. History is so important and magic is so fascinating, so one would assume that history of magic would be an exciting class. Binns was droning on about the uprising of Elfric the Eager, just as he had last class. Remus and Lily sat side by side in history of magic class so they could keep each other awake. Typically they would just poke or tickle each other with their quills while the professor wasn't looking, but today they were passing notes.
"So about what you said the other night" Remus passed a half-piece of parchment to Lily.
"What?" Lily scribbled down.
"You asked me about Pads"
Lily nodded subtly to Remus and just handed him the paper back.
"When did you realize you liked James?"
Lily thought for a moment, she stared straight ahead as if she was paying attention to the lecture. She spent a while crafting her response.
"I noticed that I wanted to be around him more. *scribble* I laughed more at his stupid jokes. He just made me feel more comfortable than he had before. All of a sudden I *scribble* thought to myself: I like him. *Scribble* He's had a thing for me for quite some time now. Sometimes the connections draw themselves."
Remus stared at the note and read it over a few times.
"Good to know"
Was all Remus could write before Professor Binns announced the end of class.
Remus and Lily left the classroom together.
"You've never had feelings for someone before, have you Remus?" She asked.
"No," Remus replied, "Not exactly."
"You absolutely have a crush on Sirius," she confirmed to the slightly flustered werewolf.
"It's just a crush, it probably won't go anywhere," Remus tried to deflect his feelings, but Lily was smarter than that.
"What are you afraid of?" She asked.
Remus sighed and looked down.
"I don't know," he admitted, "I wouldn't say its fear, it's more like-"
"Inadequacy?" Lily said, finishing his thought.
Remus groaned. He wouldn't have said it even if he hadn't been cut off, but she was right. Remus felt like Sirius should be with someone better than him. Someone normal.
"I just don't think I'm his type," he explained, "I'm more organized and I have a lot of extra issues-"
"Remus,"
"I don't even know if he's interested in blokes, what if he's straight and wants kids-"
"Remus,"
"Not to mention literally a monster-"
Lily pulled out her wand to threaten him, "Remus, listen to me."
The werewolf shut his mouth and Lily pulled them both aside.
"Your friends love you for who you are, and that includes Sirius. If you tell him and he's not interested he won't think any less of you. None of us will." She told him, "You are kind, and smart, and a fun person to be friends with. Anyone would be lucky to be in love with you. As for Sirius, I wouldn't be so sure… let's just say the foundation of the shrieking shack is about as straight as he is."
Remus couldn't speak, he just nodded at her.
After classes were over Remus retired to the common room. He tossed his bag down next to a comfy chair and loosened his tie. Sirius was in the corner with his face buried in a book.
"Whatcha readin', mate?" Remus asked.
Sirius lifted his head to his friend.
"It's this muggle magazine I like," he replied, walking over to Remus, "it's got all the info on streetcars and motorbikes. They're rubbish compared to apparating or the floo network, but they seem like loads of fun."
Sirius pointed to a busty muggle woman lounging on the hood of a new car model. She was wearing a tight dress and high heels.
"It's a shame muggles can't charm pictures to move like we do," he lamented, "I'd love to see how she drives."
"Are you talking about the girl or the car?" Remus asked.
"The car, Mooney. What's it matter if some muggle supermodel can drive?" Sirius replied.
"She is pretty," Remus added, testing the waters.
"Sure," Sirius admitted, "it'd make more sense if she was in the car, not on it."
"Sex sells, Pads," Remus said patting him on the shoulder.
"I know that but-" Sirius cut himself off to glance around the common room quickly. Nobody appeared to be able to overhear him, "truth is Mooney, I care more about the cars and the motorcycles than the models."
Remus raised an inquisitive eyebrow.
"It's not that I don't like women, I mean I did shag that one girl 'round the end of last year," Sirius whispered.
Remus remembered when Sirius dated that Ravenclaw girl. What was her name? Something Green?
"I just think focusing more on the vehicle would work just fine," Sirius said.
Remus nodded, still trying to figure out if Sirius was gay or not.
"What ever happened with you and that girl?" Remus asked.
"Oh, Olivia? I just wasn't feeling it anymore," Sirius admitted.
"You were really into her for about a month and then she just kinda disappeared," Remus recalled.
"Yeah, it just wasn't working," Sirius sighed.
Remus nodded quietly.
Sirius was probably gay.
Possibly.