Traitor
Sirius ached all day, his body buzzing to open the letter but something made him delay it. He told James it was purely because he didn't have time to read it and would 'read it in the common room after lessons' although that wasn't the reason at all really.
Sirius was scared- petrified- of what the letter would contain. Although the words inside could not physically hurt him, Sirius was more afraid of that then his Mother's punishments.
Lessons went by excruciatingly slowly, he hadn't been able to concentrate at all and all his focus was on the countless possibilities of what the letter could withhold for him.
Acceptance? Disappointment? Hatred? Forgiveness? Anger? Sadness? He wasn't sure what the letter would make him feel and quite frankly, he wasn't ready to find out.
Lessons had ended and a deep dread settled in his stomach. He had to open it, he needed to open it and he wanted to, deep down, but just wasn't sure he had the nerve to. He delayed it again and again claiming to read it 'after dinner' until he couldn't put it off any longer. He had to at least open it that same day.
"What's wrong with Black today?" Sirius heard a girl called Mary say, he had barely ever spoke to her yet she seemed to be everywhere. "Haven't heard him mess around in class at all today." Sirius glanced over as Lily gave her a shrug in answer before making eye contact with Sirius. Perhaps it was the sad, nervous glint behind his eyes or perhaps Lily was just in a good mood but she smiled at him. Only a small smile, but a smile at least.
The first year boys and girls of Gryffindor had a mutual disliking of each other. The boys were immature, attention seeking and obnoxiously loud, two of which were incredibly egotistic and too smart for their own good. The girls were good students and not troublesome, they were loud when appropriate but mature when needed. They were opposites of each other, at least that's how they all pretended to be but if only they would all let their fake hatred down and realise how incredibly great their friendships could be.
"Sirius," Peter said, elbowing him gently before gesturing to James. He realised he must have been zoned out, totally lost in his own world as James had been trying to get his attention.
"Mate, I know you're nervous but you're going to have to open it at some point."
"Better to open it and face the reaction first hand rather than fight the unknown," Remus said, whilst reading a book opposite.
What the hell is he on about?
"Just open it," Peter said.
"Don't tell me what to fucking do!" Sirius snapped, standing up abruptly, chair screeching on the concrete floor. "It's none of your guys' business when- or if- I open my own letter! You have no idea!"
As Sirius stormed off, rushing up the stairs towards his dorm the three boys looked at each other in shock. It wasn't out of the normal for Sirius to push them away but he hadn't ever gotten angry at them before then and they hadn't ever heard him swear.
"You think someone should be going with him?" Peter asked.
"I'll g-"
"He quite clearly wants to be left alone, Potter. Leave him alone and give him some space. You've been nagging him all day, not surprised he'd yell at you."
"Evans..." James sighed "I find it hard to believe that you're commenting on my nagging."
Sirius flounced into the dorm, slamming the door closed behind him before heading to his bed and falling onto his back, pulling the letter out his pocket and holding it above his eyes.
Exhaling deeply, he ripped the letter open.
What? That's not right. That's Regulus' writing but- but the front looked so much like Mother's.
Sirius sat up, reading over the letter attentively. It wasn't supposed to be from him, he wasn't preparing himself from a letter from Regulus. Before he had chance to read it pain shot to his heart, knowing his parents still hadn't replied but happiness also exploded in his chest knowing that Regulus had finally replied.
Sirius,
What have you done? You've done something really really bad.
I'm forbidden to send you any letters or communicate with you at all but I just had to send this one.
Father and Mother are deeply distressed after your last letter and won't even tell me what you have done- though I read the letter for myself. They say that you are being coerced and corrupted by the minds of Gryffindors. They say that they've contacted Dumbledore, demanding for you to be moved into Slytherin but Dumbledore is refusing. You don't belong to Gryffindor, you're lying to yourself and you know it. Black's don't live that life.
I know I do not have a say in what you do but please be responsible. I know how hot headed you are but is this really worth the consequences that are to be followed? Don't let Gryffindor's manipulate you, you're not like themSirius. I know you.
Don't be a fool brother. Don't leave me desolated just for some false deceptive friends. They're turning you against us! We can't loose you to a bunch of dirty blooded mudbloods! You're changing Sirius and you have been there all but 2 weeks!
Don't be a traitor and betray your family for people you do not know. It is not worth it. Apologise to mother and father and stop whatever it is you are doing, immediately.
Regulus.
He stared in disbelief, almost chagrined by the letter that was being held captive by his gaze.
Oh...
Sirius' body began to feel heavy again. Blood pounding in his ears. Heart thudding. Hands shaking. Vision disfigurating, the letters becoming a blur.
The inability to breathe restricted him, robbing him of of enough air.
Not Regulus. It wasn't supposed to be Regulus.
Sirius was not the one who was being corrupted, Regulus was. Sirius had left him all alone in the hands of their parents, practically giving him away to be constrained. Sirius always knew that Regulus was always going to be easy to claim, he was too innocent- too pure- for the life of a Black.
He too was like Sirius, desperate for the love and feeling of safety that being a child was supposed to hold but the difference was that Regulus truly believed he would find that if he followed the Black family values. Sirius wasn't so naive. Sirius knew his parents ways were wrong but just didn't know if he could face bringing the change and the betrayal to his family that needed to be done- he wasn't sure if he was brave enough to do so. Regulus wasn't like that though, Regulus was credulous, desperate to believe any word that came out of his mothers mouth because he couldn't bare the thought of the fact his family were really the evil and wronging of the world.
And so Sirius wrote, releasing his inner rage and frustration in the only way he knew how to.
September 17th 1971
I got a letter!!!!
I wish more than anything I hadn't!
Regulus thinks i'm in the wrong! I fear he will never be on my side. I thought he would be on my side no matter what. I've always been on his side but they're corrupting him. They're ruining him.
He's so desperate to make them proud he'll do anything. He looks up to them, I don't know why. I feel for him. He is 10, he shouldn't be thinking like this but they'll succeed in raising a narcissistic blood purist son because Regulus will fall for their lies. He will be deceived because he's too kind.
I'll do it, I promise you i'll do it. I will show Regulus how great his life can be if he doesn't allow himself to be corrupted. I thought I had made a mistake, that I picked friends over family but I didn't. I picked myself over hatred and I think I can convince my parents to understand eventually- if not it will show Regulus. I'll show him!
He's never called them mudblood's before! I knew I shouldn't of left him alone with them, I knew they'd invade the beliefs I gave him. I've failed him- i've failed my little brother. I can't give up before I've even begun. I'll prove to him that i'm not being corrupted by the Gryffindors and that they're actually helping me- saving me. They're showing me the reality of the world. A world where i'm not hidden behind lies.
It'll be ok... When I go home for Christmas I'll tell Mother and Father all that I have learnt. I will show them that their beliefs are wrong and they were mislead by old tales. I'll change their ways. Andromeda says they will never change but they will. I'll help them.
Sirius stayed alone for a while after, reading the letter over and over until he had memorised it. Regulus seemed so off. He sounded so much like their parents and Sirius couldn't help but feel fear course through him.
If this is him after two weeks without me. How will he be after the year is over?
He attempted not to dwell on it but it was so much easier said than done. If Regulus was to grow permanently corrupted in the time Sirius had abandoned him, he would forever blame himself for it.
He wanted to get his mind off the letter- needed to- but really didn't want to go in the common room with everyone else. He wanted to be alone, yet not alone with his thoughts. It was a lose lose situation so decided to go and find her. To go and find Andromeda.
Sirius trenched down the steps, into the common room, feeling guilty for yelling but too stubborn to acknowledge it or apologise. He attempted to ignore the boys but of course they saw him head to the portrait.
"Sirius?" James questioned "Where you going?"
"I'm going to my cousin. I'll be a while." That's all he said before heading through, ignoring James who was telling him to wait. Sirius knew exactly where Andromeda would be, she had told him that she went there every Thursday evening once it was supposed to be deserted.
Sirius took in the beauty of the castle as he walked through the corridors on the ground floor. He was always one to pretend to be unamazed and unbothered but in reality he adored the luring world around him.
He was secretly enamoured by the sun that was peaking through the horizon. It was pure serenity as hues of dulling oranges and reds fell beneath his view, ready to allow the darkness to take its place.
The hallways seemed oddly desolated, he had hardly passed anyone on the way to find Andromeda but then again it was getting late and it wasn't yet a weekend. Most people were comfortable sitting in their common rooms, rushing to complete the homework's that were due tomorrow to avoid detentions.
Sirius was walking absentmindedly until his body froze and his breath was caught in a gasp. It was as if he had been plunged under ice cold water without warning. He froze, looking up and spinning around to see an unfamiliar ghost hovering in mid air.
"It is so rude to walk through a poltergeist without warning!" The ghost yelled. It was resembling the look of the women that the soul had once lived in. "It's as uncomfortable to us as it is to you, though we do not feel it."
"My apologies," Sirius said quickly "I wasn't paying attention to where I was walking. It won't happen again." The uncomfortable sensation that tingled his body stayed for a long few seconds before fading away.
"All is forgiven," the ghost smiled "I am a little transparent after all." Sirius laughed a little before saying farewell and turning around to continue his walk to the library.
Before entering the library, Sirius glanced up and down the corridors to ensure he wasn't seen. The library was supposed to be closed at that time unless given permission to be in there.
The door creaked as he pushed it open, all the candles and lanterns were out and the library seemed empty until he noticed that the corner in the back was dimly lit and voices could be heard from afar.
He attempted to stay silent whilst walking down, wondering if perhaps Andromeda wasn't the one in there and it was somebody else.
Sirius was a little smitten with the library, mainly because of the large glass windows that surrounded it but he didn't quite love it so much as the library back at his house. He grew to adore that one.
Pausing before coming into view and listening to the voices, he recognised them all. It was Andromeda but not just her.
"Sirius?" Narcissa said whilst standing out of her seat and rushing round the bookshelf to greet him "What are you doing here?"
"I came to find Andromeda..." he said, feeling discomfort rise in him. He hadn't spoken to her since the howler day.
"I'm here," Andromeda said and Sirius stepped forwards, seeing her sat on a cushioned seat as Bellatrix was sat on the one next to her.
"Come sit with us," Narcissa said, placing a hand on his shoulder and leading him to an empty chair in the circle. Bellatrix glowered and scowled in his direction as he sat.
This was a bad idea.
"Everything ok-"
"What do you think you're doing?" Bellatrix questioned. She didn't say it angrily or with annoyance, she said it so calmly that it put Sirius at edge. "You can't sit with us."
"Yes he can Belle," Andromeda sighed "Don't start."
"Dora," Bellatrix said, glancing to her "I cannot be seen mixing with other houses, especially not Gryffindor-"
"Good job nobody is here to see you then huh?" Andromeda quickly defended "He is family no matter what house he is in and you promised mother that you would look after him here if need be."
"Yeah well that was un-"
"I didn't mean to get into Gryffindor," Sirius said "I asked the hat to put me in Slytherin and it didn't."
"The hat listens to what you want actually," Bellatrix told him and Sirius sat and thought for a second. The hat hadn't listened to him when he pleaded to be in Slytherin or when he told it that it was wrong.
Why did the hat attempt to punish me?
"Well i'm sorry but I didn't choose this whether you believe me or not. I think I was more shocked than you when I found out and I think i'm in the worse position so don't sit and complain." Sirius hadn't ever dared spoke to her like that before but he felt a sort of confidence behind himself recently, like despite his family hating him for being a Gryffindor it was a secret boost he needed to be braver.
"How is it treating you?" Narcissa asked softly.
"Rather well, actually," he admitted but was sure to not act too pleased and quickly changed the subject "uh- have any of you heard from my Mother? I know she checks in with you sometime-"
"Ah!" Bellatrix laughed "They're disregarding you, as I had anticipated. Of course they aren't willing to speak to you after ruining centuries of tradition. Can you imagine our Mother if one of us had gotten into Gryffindor- not that we'd dare."
"I believe she wouldn't mind too much actually," Narcissa claimed "She's never spoke much on houses and she said to me the other day that it wasn't a large problem that Sirius has landed himself in a different house. As long as he still holds the reputation and follows what is expected of him then all will be well."
Sirius had never been so happy with Narcissa in his entire life. Her words soothed him, putting his mind at a little more ease knowing that not everyone in his family perceived him to be a total failure or disappointment.
"Well he has hardly been following the rules of our name has he?" Bellatrix said, speaking to Narcissa before turning to him "Those little rats that you call friends," she scoffed "They're not within our range of acceptance."
"Two of them are pureblood, they're fi-"
"Traitors," she corrected "Pureblood traitors. The other one of yours is even worse than that. He has dirty blood running through him, blood that sh-"
"Oh shut up, Bella!" Andromeda snapped "What do you expect from him?! There is nobody else in his house that meets our level of expectancy. You'd rather him have no friends, no life and be miserable than have friends?"
"Wizards like that can not be friends with u-"
"Bellatrix," Andromeda said sternly and Sirius knew that she was getting aggravated at the use of her real name "It's 1971 for fuck sakes, there are fewer and fewer pureblood with our beliefs left and you expect him to not speak to anyone other than them?! You really, really, need to start thinking about the life you're trapping yourself into because it's not realistic anymore. We are now the outsiders and not them. People look down on people with our family beliefs now and not the other way roun-"
"And they will die for looking down on us Dora!" Bellatrix snapped "Mudbloods and those who agree with them will one day be eliminated from the wizarding world and we will be the ones people lo-"
"So are you going to eliminate me?!" she asked back "Are you going to kill me?" Bellatrix stared at her in query. Sirius had never seen her looked so uncertain and he didn't dare speak. "Huh?"
"You're not a mudblood, you're not a traitor an-"
"I am a traitor," Andromeda said. There was no unreliability in her voice and no shame neither. Sirius' eyes widened and heart sank out of fear for her.
Sirius felt a sudden stupidity and foolishness as he hadn't realised she was a traitor until now. He knew she had a muggle boyfriend and was against their family views but for some reason he lacked to see that as being a traitor.
"When are you going to accept that I'm not simply going through a 'phase' as you call it? You can't keep disbelieving me when I am handing you the truth! I know you don't want to accept it but you shall have to by christmas. I am a traitor, Bellatrix."
"Dora may-"
"Cissy," Andromeda sighed "You can stop it too. Stop acting like i'm your idea of perfection when I go against everything you stand for. How can you sit there and tell Sirius that his friends deserve death for accepting muggleborns and yet act as if i'm passable."
There was a longing silence between them.
"You're confused, Andromeda. I haven't told Mother or Father of your false beliefs because I know you and I know you will change your mi-"
"I'M NOT CONFUSED! DON'T TELL ME WHAT I AM AND WHAT I AM NOT!" Sirius had never, ever, seen Andromeda mad before. She was infuriatingly calm in every situation and never dared raise her voice but the visible rage that was painting over her face was unknown. She leant forwards, placing her elbows on her knees and held her head in her hands for a second before looking back up. "I am a t-r-a-i-t-o-r." She said the last word so slowly, so distinctively that Bellatrix almost shattered her teeth from clenching them together so hard.
"Shut! Up!" Bellatrix hissed. Sirius almost felt sorry for her. He often believed Bellatrix to be sort of... inhumane and incapable of feeling any sort of love but the only thing that made him change his mind was because of her love for her sisters. Bellatrix loved Andromeda and it was clear to anyone so it was perfectly understandable why she would try her hardest to deny a reason to hate her.
"No!" her voice was full of sadness as well as rage, the crack in her voice was like a knife to Sirius' heart. "I am not against muggles. I am not against muggleborns. I am not against halfbloods and I am not against traitors. I am DATING a muggleborn Bella! I have been for ages and yet you act like i'm not a traitor- act like i'm the same as you!"
Bellatrix shook her head and muttered quietly. She was still unreadable to Sirius but he could tell, he could just tell that she was hurting.
"I love Ted, Bellatrix."
That was the moment Bellatrix' heart visibly shattered. Sirius could see it in her expression as she realised the truth. He almost pitied her, almost.
"You love him?!" Narcissa questioned. "You never told m-" Bellatrix shot to her feet, looking down at Andromeda.
"You really are a traitor." Andromeda leant back in her seat, an unwelcomed tear falling from her eye and she nodded. "How can you do this?" Bellatrix's voice was so composed, Sirius couldn't believe she could be so calm and nonchalant during this.
She screamed at me for being in Gryffindor and yet she's so... calm.
"How could you do this to me?"
Andromeda let our a laugh, utterly astounded by her audacity. She turned her head and looked at Sirius, shaking her head ever so slightly. Sirius gave a a small, gentle smile, attempting to show his support but not saying a word as he knew it wasn't his place to.
"This isn't about you!" exasperation got the best of her "Everything is always about you! This is about me! My whole life it's always been you! Ever since I was fucking born Mother has told me to be like you! 'do as Bella does Andromeda' 'Be like, Bellatrix!' 'Why can't you be more like your older sister?'"
Sirius had never considered the life Andromeda had lived before now. Only recently had he been fully aware of her different beliefs but he never thought about how hard it was on her.
"It's exhausting! I'm not like you! I don't want to be like you! I'm sick and i'm tired of being controlled and coerced into this idiotic, pathetic excuse of a life! It's disgusting! I won't do it any longer, Bella!" Andromeda could see Bellatrix was hurting but she wasn't going to stop until she had destroyed her because despite how much Andromeda loved her, she deserved to feel half the pain Andromeda had. "I am done! I'm done with Mum, i'm done with Dad and i'm done with this whole entire family. I love you, I do. I love Cissy too but i'm not choosing you forever. I am not choosing you over myself because all you guys have ever done is been selfish so you know what? It's my turn to he selfish. It's my turn to do what I want to do. So go ahead, tell Mum and Dad. Tell them I'm a traitor and let them blast me off the wall because I. Don't. Care! If they loved me enough they wouldn't disown me but they don't and they will."
"Andromeda please don-"
"Narcissa no! Don't ask me to stay or not to do something because it helps you. This is my life too! I'm not ashamed of being a traitor, i'm not ashamed of loving Ted. What I am ashamed of is our family. I'm not sorry at all, i'm not sorry if I offend you or anything because I never ever ask you to change who you are but you have both begged and pleaded for me to change and it's wrong. If you can't love me for who I am then there's no point you loving me at all. Hate me if you like, it won't change a thing. I'm still the same person as i've always been it's just you guys have pretended and so have I. Well i'm done pretending to be part of this so called perfect, superior, infallible family when we are nothing but dysfunctional."
"He's ruined you..." Bellatrix almost whispered.
"ITS NOT HIM! I'VE ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY IVE JUST BEEN TOO AFRAID TO TELL YOU AND YOU HAVE BEEN TOO AFRAID TO SEE IT- you still are too afraid Bella."
"Do this, Andromeda, and I will no longer be your sister do you understand?" Bellatrix turned and rushed down the library, disappearing into the darkness. Andromeda turned to face Narcissa as she stood up.
Sirius watched as they held eye contact.
"Cissy..." Andromeda quavered as she walked past her and began following Bellatrix. She turned around to face Andromeda again, her eyes glossy with tears.
Why the hell is she leaving?! She doesn't have a right to cry if she's leaving.
"I won't be able to stand by you, Dora." Sirius could've sworn she head Andromeda's heart fall into pieces "I have too much to loose... I can't do it. I'll let you go, I won't force you to change or stay but I can't stand by you." Andromeda opened her mouth to speak but it was too late. Narcissa was gone.
Sirius couldn't see Andromeda's face from where he was sitting, but he knew she was crying. He didn't know what to say or do.
"I'll stand by you," he said softly.
Andromeda burst into tears and fell back onto the sofa opposite Sirius. He panicked, thinking he had said the wrong thing. "Oh... sorry I didn't me-"
"Thank you, Sirius. Thank you for standing by me."
Is this what's going to happen to me? Will Regulus leave as Bellatrix and Narcissa have.
"I think you're very brave to do that."
Perhaps stupid.
"Aren't you afraid though? What if your Mother and Father hurt you? Won't they punish you? Aren't you afraid?" Sirius was only curious but deeply regretted asking when Andromeda finished wiping her tears and gave him a look of question.
"Mum and Dad are bad people but even they're not evil enough to hurt their own children. They will most definitely hate me and yell at me, probably disown me and wish never to speak to me again. So yes in a way they will hurt me but not physically if that's what you meant." Sirius was relieved to say at the least but also incredibly hurt.
But then... why do mine hurt me?
"Why would you ask something like that?"
"I didn't mean to upset you!" Sirius quickly said, thinking he had offended her but Andromeda wasn't offended, she was worried. "I was ju-"
"Does Orion hurt you, Sirius?"
"No!" he said far too quickly.
"Does he hurt Regulu-"
"No, he doesn't. That's not what I meant when I asked I jus- I thought maybe your parents did because I- well- I don't know why I asked. I was just worried." Andromeda wasn't fooled yet she didn't say anything else, knowing he was clearly unsettled. "I'm sorry they walked away and that you don't think anyone will accept you with your beliefs. Maybe we can convince them?" She shook her head.
"It's fine, Sirius. I really don't care-"
"Of course you care, Anders. There your family I know you care you don't have to pretend. I'll help you! We will convince them that muggleborns are nice and that-"
"If you think that you're ever going to convince any of them of that then forget it. It's never going to happen and the quicker you get that out of your head, the better."
Oh.
"Things will only get harder for you if you spend your whole life trying to please everyone else. It's okay to be selfish sometimes. When your Mum and Dad tell you that family comes first... they're lying to you. Family doesn't come first, not for us and not for them. Family will never ever come first with the Black's! It's all about purity, don't ever think it's anything else because it's not."
She stood up and began to walk away, leaving Sirius sitting there with nothing. Not even hope.
"Go to bed, Sirius. Thank you for staying, thank you for saying you'll stand by me. I appreciate you so much," she wouldn't look at him as she said it, her voice was tinted with sadness "I feel so sorry that you've been cursed into our family. Get out of it, Sirius, even if it means you loose all of them just get out of it because I promise you it'll be so much better. You'll feel more alone pretending to be one of them than you will if you are actually are alone."
The walk back to the common room was agonising. Sirius felt detached from the world. He had went to Andromeda to seek solace and instead witnessed something he had never wished to see.
Sirius believed Andromeda and sometimes he wished he hadn't because her words isolated him. He felt detached from himself on the walk back, as if he was floating outside of his body and just watching.
He was so so worn out from the draining impact his family had had on his mental health in the past two weeks. He was just so tired of it.
Why couldn't he have parents like James', who sent sweets in the post, reminded them that he was loved, congratulated him on his success' and were prepared to comfort his sadness? Parents who made him feel safe?
You've been cursed into this family.
Her words burned into his ears and circled his mind.
Was there ever going to be a way out? Did he want a way out? Was he ever going to be brave enough to completely choose himself over family?
Sirius expected everyone to be in bed, assumed that the common room was empty as he had spent ages in the library and purposely took the longest route back to the Gryffindor towers. It was past curfew and the castle held an eerie, yet comforting silence.
Lily Evans was sitting in front of the warm, blazing fire on the floor alone. Her head whipped round as she heard his footsteps and Sirius looked over to her in wonder.
"You've only just come in?!" her voice sounded masked "It's way past curfew you should've been in bed hours ago!"
"Sorry, Professor Evans!" he scoffed before heading towards the boys steps before turning around and noticing her wiping her eyes and he stopped.
Nobody's happy tonight are they?
"Are you crying?" he questioned although she quite clearly was as the crimson glow from the fire perfectly lit up her face, revealing her tears.
"No." Sirius walked over to her, half expecting her to tell him to do one but she didn't say anything, just stared at the fire and let him sit on the floor behind her, leaning on the sofa.
"Right," Sirius agreed "Hay fever?" he questioned "Happens to the best of us." he could hear a faint smile in her reply.
"Mmm hay fever will be the death of me." She slowly turned round to face him, sitting cross legged opposite. "Where've you been for so long? Shouldn't you be in bed really?"
"Says the one staring at the fireplace for no apparent reason." Lily rolled her eyes in pretend annoyance "Go on then, what are you really doing up?"
"I asked you first."
"Went to visit my cousins, they're in Slytherin so obviously don't see much of them."
"I wanted to be in Slytherin, did you?" she asked. Sirius was a bit confused by that.
"You wanted to be in Slytherin? Oh please don't tell me it's because of that Snape."
"He's nice!"
"Mmm so nice he tried to jinx my friends broom and call hi-"
"Yeah okay... let's not do this now I really am tired."
"Come on then, why are you awake if you're so tired?"
"Homesick..." she admitted hesitantly "Miss my parents and my sister but my sister hates me because i'm here and she's not. I tried telling her it's not my fault and I feel so bad."
Sirius didn't like the sound of that. That sounded far too familiar for him to be comfortable but a part of him longed for someone who understood what it was like to leave a sibling as he left Regulus.
"Is she not old enough to come to Hogwarts yet?" Sirius asked.
"She's older than me," Sirius gave her a look of questioning "I'm a muggleborn, if you didn't know. My parents and my sister are all muggles. I'm the only witch so obviously my sister can't come to this school because she's not a witch."
Sirius had never considered what it must be like for muggleborns. To be the odd ones out of the family. Or even how the rest of the family would feel if their relative had magic and they did not. Sirius couldn't think anything worse than being a squib and yet he supposed it was rather similar to a muggle living with a muggleborn.
"She's the best big sister ever. We are so close- at least we were. Ever since I got my Hogwarts letter she's been so distant. I think she hates me because i'm a witch."
"I doubt very much that she hates you," Sirius said quickly "If you were that close she wouldn't hate you for something you can't control." He told her that though didn't necessarily believe it. He had just seen two sisters leaving their other one despite having years and years of love and closeness all because of a simple belief. "She's probably jealous of you. I mean, if my brother had magic and I didn't then i'd be rather jealous too, wouldn't you?" Lily looked down and twiddled her fingers in consideration "Give her time to get used to it, she'll be alright with you again."
"I hadn't thought about the fact she might be jealous." Sirius shrugged. "Black, don't tell anyone you saw me crying."
"Crying? I haven't seen you cry. Eyes watering from hay fever is what I thought." Lily smiled and let out a soft nod and an almost silent thank you. "You said you had a brother... do you miss him too?"
"Of course I do." Lily nodded, glad she wasn't alone.
"It's silly though. Me and my sister were so close and now she hardly answers me. She used to bring flowers to my room every week because she knew how much I adored flowers and she used to watch movies with me all the time and we were inseparable, I miss it."
"Well I'm not sure what a movie is but I do know what flowers are." Lily gasped out loud.
"You've never watched a movie?!?! Have you even watched tv before?" Sirius shook his head, clueless as to what she was speaking about. "Oh my God. That's crazy." He just shrugged, too tired to bother questioning it as he yawned. "We both need to get to bed. We have charms first thing tomorrow but I will be nagging you to watch tv for the next 7 years of our life in this school."
Sirius sighed and yet Lily laughed. She stood up, giving him a smile before going to head towards the girls stairs.
"Evans!" he quickly said, causing her to turn around. "Orchideous," he said whilst holding his wand upwards. Beautiful, blooming, assorted flowers bursted out the end of his wand and he grabbed them with his other hand. They were bright and bold and he watched as Lily's face turned ever so slightly pink and a bright smile formed as he held the flowers out towards her.
She took them from him and inhaled their scent, still mesmerised at how unique and outstanding magic could be.
"For someone who is sufferingwith hay fever this would not be the best gift, Black. Yet I think they're wonderful, thank you." Sirius hadn't seen a smile look so genuine from her since they had arrived.
"It's a good thing your hay fever is now getting better then isn't it?" he laughed "Night, Evans."
Sirius made his way upstairs, too tired to even think of his family meaning he would get a good nights sleep- if only he didn't have to wake up for lessons in a matter of hours.