Snivellus
Reggie,
Bet I've caused a right scene back at home haven't I? That should keep you entertained for a bit. Think Mother and Father may be a tad mad but they'll get over it. I've only been here a day so haven't got a load to tell you yet. I think I have three new friends though! James, Peter and Remus. I don't know what Mother would think about them (well actually I know exactly what she would think of them) so best to keep it to ourselves for now. They're nice which scares me, I'm not supposed to be friends with them but I'm kind of testing it out to see what makes blood traitors, half bloods and muggleborns so bad. I hope they stay nice because I would quite like to stay friends with them. Better go, it's last lesson in a moment and I've got potions next.
Miss you
Sirius (best brother ever)
Oh. I forgot to tell you, under my bed is a box full of chocolate and sweets, if you get hungry you can eat whatever you like.
The day so far had been filled of getting lost to lessons, laughing at each other's foolishness and trying to lift up quills with a wand. Sirius half expected to receive another howler but he hadn't so he sent word to Regulus, joking about the matter.
It was odd, the boys didn't have too much of an awkward stage. Of course there were shy moments and they weren't completely comfortable as they had just met after all, but each of them felt as if they had known the other for longer than they had. James and Peter seemed to act as if they had known Sirius and Remus for a lifetime, even though the two of them weren't too sure whether to be friends with James and Peter or not.
They made it to potions on time which was a shocker to them and the girls. As they walked into the room Sirius' heart sank a little. On one half of the classroom sat all the first year Slytherins. Each were unfamiliar to Sirius but he knew for a fact they all knew him, who didn't?
"Right, how lovely it is to meet everybody. My name is Horace Slughorn and you shall call me Professor Slughorn. We are going to get right into potion making as I don't want to bore you on your first lesson." A rather short plump man began "Could everyone please get into partners, any mishap and I shall pair you myself."
Before Sirius could even look around James had grabbed his arm and pulled him to the nearest desk that contained unusual coloured glass vials and a large cauldron.
"You'll be alright partnering with Remus won't you Pe-" James went to say but stopped talking as Bonnie had already seemed to claim Remus and they stood near the front next to Lily and a rather dirty looking boy.
Sirius felt a little bad for Peter, he always seemed to want to be partners with James and yet James went straight to him again.
After a few moments Peter ended up being partnered up with a girl named Dorcas Meadows, much to his disgust. They listened whilst Slughorn began to explain the instructions and write them upon a large chalkboard but he seemed to get rather distracted talking about his own personal life and those of the students personal life.
"Look at that boy with Evans," James pointed out whilst nudging Sirius' arm "Now he looks like the type to not shower, don't you think?" Sirius let out a small laugh as he was indeed right in thinking that.
Sirius couldn't help but feel watched. He felt as if each Slytherin was judging him profoundly. The agreement to try and be friends with James and the others was still in place but he couldn't help but feel odd and guilty. His whole life he had been taught what was right and wrong in the Black family and in just mere days into first year he had already broken them harshly and his mind was in a complete confliction with what to believe.
"That's brilliant boy!" Slughorn gasped "How on earth did you know that? What's your name son?"
"Severus Snape."
"Snivellus Snape?" Slughorn repeated in great confusion which caused majority of the class to break out in giggles.
"He said Severus Professor, Severus Snape," Lily corrected as he went a bright shade of pink. Sirius and James could hardly hold themselves together.
"Snivellus! That's bloody brilliant."
"Rather matches his face too don't you think? The greasy hair and the obnoxiously large nose." James burst into laughter and held his mouth closed at Sirius' words.
"Shhh we shouldn't be mean," James laughed "Then again... he is Slytherin and he clearly doesn't shower." After another fit of giggles they were all instructed to begin on making the antidote to common poisons, although neither boy had listened very well. Slughorn had made it clear it was doubtful anybody would make it correctly the first time round, despite all they had to do was follow the instructions on the board.
"Okay so, add 1 Bezoar to the mortar and crush into a fine powder using the pestle," Sirius read off the board and James began to follow the instructions. Although they messed about a lot, they surprisingly had good multitasking skills and didn't fail too badly.
"Wait wait," James said after flicking a mistletoe berry right at Sirius' eye. "Listen to that Evans girl and Snivellus." Sirius didn't question it and looked at the pair of them from a couple of desks forwards. He had been quite good at listening into conversations over the years. It's was as if he taught himself how to focus on one persons voice despite the room being filled with loud chatters, it was something he felt he had to know when living with his family.
"Shhh Lily!" Snape shushed "You shouldn't be so open about that sort of thing here..."
"I don't understand what you mean though, Sev. Back at home you never told me that it was bad that I was muggleborn. You always told me I was special... you said that-"
"Yes but it's different here... we can still be friends but if people find out you're a muggle born we will have to be friends in secret." Severus looked around nervously, hoping none of the Slytherins were listening in but nobody seemed to care or pay attention to him apart from James and Sirius.
"But why?" Lily questioned with uncertainty. "It's not my fault I'm muggleborn! Why do we even have to call them 'muggles'? It just sounds so- Is this that pureblood nonsense you were telling me about?"
"Just leave it alright? You're just... different to-"
"Will you shut up you intolerant git?!" Remus interrupted whilst turning around and facing Severus with an unknown expression. James and Sirius exchanged looks and laughed slightly at Remus' outburst. Most of the first years didn't seem to be used to swearing but Remus was clearly the exception which was fairly entertaining for the others.
"I beg your pardon?" Lily gasped.
"Not you, him!" he said whilst pointing at Severus "What is wrong with you? You don't sit there and tell your friends you can't be friends with them around people because they're muggleborns! How do you think that makes her feel?"
"Who do you think you are?! Lily do you know him?"
"Um, not really. He's in gryffindor with me... Remus Lupin, I think."
"So?" he asked "Are you going to apologise to her? Being called different isn't nice! And talking about a private matter in the middle of potions isn't a very smart idea is it?"
"I suggest you turn around before I call for Professor Slughorn."
"And I suggest you sort your bloody attitude out otherwise you aren't going to have friends, muggleborn or not!" And with that Remus turned around and began whispering to the girl he was partnered with. Sirius couldn't help but smirk at the grimacing face Severus was pulling.
"Maybe Remus is offended cuz he's halfblood," James said with a shrug but that didn't add up. Sirius knew some of Severus' relatives.
"But Snivellus is halfblood too."
"Oh yeah, I don't know then. Weird." They continued on their potion that was turning more blue than teal before being interrupted by another loud outburst.
"DON'T SAY THAT ABOUT ME! GO ON! GO ON, SAY IT AGAIN, I DARE YOU." Remus yelled out of nowhere, making the whole class fall silent and watch from their desks. "Think I'm crazy for telling you to shut your mouth? I don't think you want to see how angry I can real-"
"I wasn't talking to you!" Severus spat "You need to mind your own business don't you think?"
"Remus... just leave them," Bonnie encouraged whilst grabbing his arm to turn him around.
"Sev, he isn't crazy... he was just trying to stick up for me. There's no need to be horrible. Maybe he's muggleborn too. It is quite offensive to be called different, and you did just say he's crazy and say that angry people like him shouldn't be allowed in Hog-"
"Alright, alright settle down everybody-" Slughorn yelled whilst walking back towards the top of the class. Just as he went to finish there was a faint knock on the door and Professor Mcgonagall walked in, heels clicking on the concrete floors, sending echos throughout the dungeons tbat sent a familiar chill down Sirius' spine.
"Sorry to interrupt your class Horace but could I please borrow Remus Lupin? Yes you, come with me and bring your stuff please," she said whilst giving Remus a faint smile. "I'm afraid you may not make it back to this lesson in time." Remus nodded slowly and followed her out of the room as everybody watched in confusion.
"Is he going to get in trouble?" Sirius questioned and he grew pale as he watched the large doors close behind him.
"What would he be getting in trouble for? He hasn't done anything wrong that I know of," James explained "There is no way she would've heard him shouting and swearing just then so perhaps she's speaking to him about something else."
"Perhaps..." Something struck a feeling inside Sirius. He felt protective. He had been led out of rooms countless times after being naughty. He too had followed an adult out of the room with the same look of undeniable regretted fear on his face and it made Sirius wonder if punishments could be held at Hogwarts.
After class they waited and waited for Remus but he didn't return. They decided to head back up to the common room and wait for him there as none of them knew where Mcgonagall's office was just yet. They walked through the portrait together only to find that Remus was already sat at the windowsill reading over his book.
"There you are!" James shouted whilst walking over "We were waiting for you."
"Huh?" Remus replied whilst looking up at them and closing his book slightly "oh yeah uh- Mcgonagall told me to come back here instead."
"Did you get in trouble?!" Sirius questioned quickly but Remus looked oddly confused.
"Trouble? Why would I be in trouble?"
"Why were you shouting in potions?" Peter asked "And what did Mcgonagall want?"
"She didn't really want anything." Sirius looked at him suspiciously, knowing he was lying. Mcgonagall wouldn't pull someone out of class for nothing but the others decided upon not questioning him further. Instead, they all decided to sit around the table and get on with homework that they had been given over the past 2 days for they didn't want to be stuck doing homework on the coming weekend.
Sirius stayed fairly quiet for a couple of hours. It was odd, he felt rather home sick but he couldn't figure out why. Why would somebody want to go back to a place they hate? Sirius guessed it was Regulus that he missed, perhaps he wasn't home sick at all and he just missed his little brother.
They arrived at Hogwarts on Wednesday and it was already Friday. Sirius feared for the weekend slightly, at least when they were constantly trying to find their way around the castle and busy in lessons he didn't have his family to think about.
After dinner the boys went up to their dorm as usual. They messed about for a bit, spoke, laughed, joked, showered and all sorts. Remus seemed quieter than he had been during the day. Sirius looked over to him whilst Peter and James spoke and noticed he was drawing with some things that looked fairly peculiar. Remus looked up and noticed Sirius staring at him and pulled a face at him making Sirius laugh slightly, although he wasn't sure if Remus was joking or not.
He wondered over to Remus' bed and stood next to him and Remus quickly shut his book and looked up at Sirius with an annoyed expression.
"What do you want?" Remus questioned.
"What are all those?" he asked whilst pointing down at the bed. Remus looked at the bed and then back at Sirius.
"What do you mean what are all those?" he asked in a mocking tone but then he noticed Sirius' face fall as if he was genuinely curious. "Don't tell me wizards don't know what pens and pencils are... you guys seriously only write in quills?! They're so hard to use. How do you draw?" Sirius just shrugged, unsure of how to answer. He felt stupid about not knowing what muggle stuff was. "It's easier to write with pens than it is quills. Try it." Remus said whilst moving back and opening a blank page in his small sketchbook.
Sirius looked at him for a second before climbing onto the bed and sitting down. Remus passed him a pen but Sirius still looked at him oddly.
"Where's your ink?" he asked and Remus laughed slightly. "Look don't laugh at me! It's not my fault!" Sirius had never felt stupid before. He was naturally talented and almost the best at everything, but he was never introduced to the muggle world and it made him feel embarrassingly dumb.
"Alright alright. Just take the top off, hold it like you would a quill and just write I guess. It has ink in it so you don't have to use ink."
"So it never runs out of ink?"
"Well it does... but not for a very long time." Sirius leant forwards, pen in hand and began to write. It felt unfamiliar in his hand as he had spent years writing with a quill, but of course his handwriting was still flawless. Written in neat cursive he wrote Sirius Black is the best and then began laughing to himself. James and Peter quickly came over and decided they wanted to try it too even though Peter had used a pen multiple times in the past.
"Do you have any other muggle stuff with you?" James asked
"We aren't supposed to bring any muggle stuff to Hogwarts," Peter explained.
"I know, I only brought them and my record player." Sirius' face lit up as one of his happiest memories flooded his mind.
"A record player?! That's so cool! My Uncle Alphard has one of those. Regulus and I used to stay at his house and he would let us listen to muggle music! Mother didn't like it and says he was a bad influence on us so we can only see him on special occasions now." Peter gave Sirius an odd look, making him feel rather uncomfortable but James quickly spoke up and tried to convince Remus to show them his record player as Peter had never actually seen one before and James was unfamiliar with muggle music.
So that was it. Neither of the boys knew that Remus Lupin's record player would be the true beginning of their friendship, and yet it was. The second Remus began to play his 'abbey road' album it was as if something had changed. Sirius didn't know that this was going to be a memory he would look back on for the rest of his life because music was one of the only things Sirius eventually began to connect with, along with the boys around him.
James began to laugh at the music and the moment itself and jokingly stood up on the bed and jumped up and down. Peter and Sirius began to laugh at him yet Remus looked as if he was trying his hardest not to enjoy himself. It was a blur of happiness that Sirius hadn't felt in quite some time, in fact he wasn't sure if he had ever felt quite so content. James was jumping from Remus' bed to Sirius' then over to his and then Peter's as Peter jumped behind him, with a pillow in his hands trying to catch him.
Something about it caught Sirius in a fit of laughter. He was supposed to hate blood traitors and half bloods, he always struggled to understand why and now he really didn't understand. What was so wrong with them? If anything Sirius thought they seemed far more fun and he decided to let himself join in. Sirius stood, without thinking too much, grabbed a pillow closest to him and then ran over to James, making him cornered in between him and Peter. Laughter surrounded the room and utter joy overtook him.
How could Sirius possibly hate these boys when they were just silly kids making the most of life? Remus was sat, drawing the scene around him contently, Peter and James were pillow fighting, how on earth is that so dangerous? What about that was so bad?
James dramatically begged for mercy whilst the three of them found themselves lost in a pillow fight. There were no dooming thoughts. No family issues or fear to feel right in that moment, all it was was three boys starting a friendship that would change their lives for the better.
"Alright! Alright!" James sighed through a fit of laughter and a shortness of breath "I surrender!" Sirus fell back onto the bed and laughed to himself along with the others. "I've had my turn of a beating. I think it's Remus' turn don't you?" James smirked whilst looking over to Remus. Remus looked up from his sketchbook with a look of fear yet hidden happiness. Peter and Sirius raised there pillows up and James raised his eyebrow at Sirius.
"Do not even think about it," Remus demanded yet the boys just laughed before approaching him slowly. A smile slowly broke its way onto Remus' face and he quickly dived behind him and grasped a hold of his own pillow before the other three had a chance to attack. It wasn't three boys making an incomparable friendship, it was four.
That broke the ice for each of them. Their first weekend in Hogwarts together felt as natural as being home with family. Remus was still rather quiet but was far more comfortable adding sarcastic comments or putting his thoughts out there. Sirius could tell that he had made the right decision in deciding to be friends with them, even if that meant his parents being mad.
He hoped that perhaps he would be able to show his traditional family that blood traitors weren't so bad after all. But he hadn't heard from them since the howler and even his cousins avoided him when seeing him in the great hall.
In a way Sirius felt abandoned by them. He had assumed that it would be his cousins helping him round the school, teaching him the life in Hogwarts and yet they weren't there for him as family should be.
Sunday breakfast Sirius was greeted with a letter. At first he just stared down at the table in front, where the letter led upside down. It was obviously either Regulus or his parents as it was wax sealed with the house of black crest. Everybody else was too interested in their own letters and parcels to notice Sirius' face pale as he stared down at the table.
He realised he was just being stupid, he hadn't cared too much when he received a howler. Yet again, you can't physically ignore a howler. James noticed Sirius' look of concern and gave him a gentle nod and asked him if he was alright. Sirius nodded reassuringly before picking up the letter and exhaling with relief as the handwriting on the front was undeniably from his little brother. Rather eagerly, he tore open the letter and began reading.
Sirius,
I'm afraid Mother and Father are being sure to read any letter you send to me, so they are aware you are friends with those boys and I do not think they are very happy about it. You've taken it too far this time Sirius. I know it isn't necessarily your fault you got sorted into Gryffindor but Mother and father are still blaming you for the shame you are putting on our name. I'm not mad at you though, as long as you're careful and stick to the rest of our rules everything shall be as it should be. I advise you to write to Mother and try and soothe things over before you must return for Christmas.
Mother took your stash of sweets and chocolate after reading your letter. Sorry about that, thank you though. She has also taken lots of your belongings out of your room, claims you do not deserve them anymore but it's ok I'll share my stuff with you instead. I hope things are great for you there and hopefully Gryffindor isn't as terrible as Mother says it is. Please do keep writing to me, I'm already terribly bored. Kreacher is all I have as company now and I do miss you.
Regulus.
He scanned through the letter again and again before processing it all. His mind was racing with the thoughts of what was happening back at home. Sirius still felt beyond guilty for leaving Regulus at home, all alone, with nobody to keep him company but he couldn't help it really. He really did miss Regulus, and he would do anything to be talking to him in person instead of reading over his letter. The thought of Walburga emptying his room hurt his chest, it made him feel as if he was oddly unwanted.
"That your parents?" Peter asked "They still mad at you?"
"It was my brother... but yes they are still mad," he answered "They'll get over it though, they always do. I've made them mad before and they always forgive me so there's no need to worry." Sirius said it as if he was trying to convince Peter it was all fine but in reality it was himself he was trying to convince. Yes, he had made them mad plenty of times and yes they always got over it but this wasn't something they could just get past. Sirius had a long 7 years in Gryffindor so he hoped, more than anything, that they would soon come to accept him. So he decided to listen to Regulus, and made a mental note to write to his parents the second he could and apologise, although he wasn't entirely sure that would fix a thing.
The boys spent the Sunday exploring the outside grounds and playing in the common room. Sirius was quite glad that he was never alone in Hogwarts. From the few days he had been there he realised the only time he was alone was when he was to shower and the rest of the time he was with the other boys. He didn't mind the distraction, Sirius often found things rather boring when being alone.
They were sat around the table. Sirius was watching James and Peter aggressively competing in a game of chess as James clearly hated to loose yet Peter was quite clearly better. James had in fact flipped the bored twice already but promised not to do it again. It was quite clear he was very determined to get his way, James was going to win even if it meant loosing 50 times first. He was determined at least.
Remus looked oddly nervous from the other side of the table. He had barely spoken a word all day. He preferred to keep to himself a little as Sirius discovered but he was definitely oddly quieter and suspicious. Sirius noticed him keep glancing up towards the clock that sat besides a large portrait but it wasn't until he stood up that Sirius decided to question it.
"Where are you going? Are you ok?" Remus turned back around and looked back at him, smiled ever so slightly and nodded unreassuringly.
"I have a meeting with Professor McGonagall."
"Meeting with McGonagall?" James questioned whilst looking away from the chess board.
"That's sounds scary," Peter admitted "Hurry up though, we want to go for dinner in a bit."
"Oh right yeah." Remus stood uncomfortably for a minute and rubbed the back of his head "You'll have to go without me, don't think i'll be back in time. I'll just see you all later in our dorm yeah?"
"Wait why are you-" before Sirius had a chance to finish his question Remus had turned away and walked out of the portrait rather rapidly. Sirius couldn't help but question the absurdity of it. The three of them all spoke and guessed what it could be about as he had been pulled out of potions only two days ago yet all of their suggestions seemed pretty irrational or unlikely so they decide not to question it further and just ask him when he got back to the dorm later.
He didn't return. They waited and waited. The clock struck 2, Peter was sound asleep and James was struggling to stay awake and yet Remus was not yet back.
"Maybe he is-" Sirius went to say but James quickly interrupted.
"We have thought of all the possibilities. He wont be lost. It's obviously some emergency or something. We will just get to sleep and if he isn't here by morning then first thing we will do is go to McGonagall ourselves alright? We have to be up early so lets get some sleep." Despite Sirius still being rather confused about the matter he knew James was right and they needed to sleep as it was far too late to be up. James convinced him that in the morning Remus would be there and give them a perfectly reasonable explanation to why he wasn't back until so late.
He wasn't there. Sirius awoke as the sun began to rise and Remus' curtains were still wide open and his bed was unslept in. Sirius rushed over to James' bed and woke him quickly.
"What if he got shut outside all night?" Sirius questioned whilst James tiredly climbed out of bed and glanced over to Remus' empty bed.
"Alright, alright. We will wake Pete, get dressed and go down to the great hall because McGonagall should be there for breakfast." All three of them were rather concerned for their new friend. He had been gone all night and nobody knew where he was.
The great hall was moderately empty, it was still too early for many people to be up but they were desperate to figure out where Remus had gone. They quietened their voice whilst entering the oddly silent hall. Just as James had said, McGonagall was sitting up at the teachers table reading over the daily prophet. They rushed over to her and stopped right in front of the table. McGonagall sighed slightly whilst looking down at them through her glasses.
"What is it boys?" she questioned whilst folding her daily prophet and placing it down.
"Our friend," James began "Remus Lupin, he's gone missing. Apparently he was coming to see you for a meeting before dinner and he told us he would meet us back at the dorm but he never returned."
"I can assure you, Mr Lupin is not missing. He will be in here very shortly so how about you take a seat and enjoy your breakfast and stop worrying."
"But where is he? Shouldn't we go find him, he didn't go to bed last night."
"Is it because he missed curfew? Is that th-"
"Boys if you would please calm down. As I have just told you, Mr Lupin is perfectly fine and-"
"But what if he is not fine? You don't know th-"
"Mr Potter! I am glad you care so much for your new friend but if you took a moment to just turn around you would notice that Mr Lupin has just entered and taken a seat at your table. How about you go and see him and not question him repeatedly as you have I?" James, Sirius and Peter all turned around at her words and looked straight at the Gryffindor table where Remus had just taken a seat with his head in his hands.
"Ah..." James said whilst turning around and nodding at McGonagall "Appears you're right Professor. We'll be off then, come on guys."
"Thanks Professor," Sirius finished before turning around and heading towards Remus with James and Peter. James took the seat next to him so Sirius and Peter sat opposite. Sirius' heart dropped a little whilst looking over to him. It was quite clear he didn't look as he usually did. He looked ever so tired, which was understandable considering he didn't sleep in his bed last night but he also looked almost... ill.
"Are you alright Remus?" James questioned "You never came back last night, we have been really worried."
"Where did you go?" Peter asked but Sirius just observed and watched as Remus looked up with a tired look. He couldn't tell if Remus looked upset or if he looked scared.
"I uh- after the meeting with McGonagall I felt sick so I went to the hospital wing instead." Sirius continued to watch whilst he explained it a little to James. He was lying, Sirius could tell he was lying. There was more to it. Sirius believed he went to the hospital wing but there was definitely something suspicious about the boy, just like it was weird how he had to go to meetings with the head of Gryffindor.
Sirius didn't like it. James was like an open book, he was easy to understand, he was the type of person who didn't have a single secret of his own but would have a mind full of other peoples secrets. Peter was just normal. He wasn't overly outgoing but he wasn't overly quiet. There was no humour nor sarcasm but just kindness and care. Remus... Sirius couldn't figure him out. Perhaps because he wasn't pureblood or perhaps because there was more about him but he was different completely. Sirius had his own secrets to keep, secrets about his family that he mustn't ever tell a soul and he knew what it was like to keep secrets and lie, Remus seemed like the type to understand that far too well.
Sirius was determined to find out every little thing about his new friends. He wanted to figure them out as he wasn't used to friends. Sirius was smart, he was above average for his age and he was always so determined to be the best, as most of his family were so this was just another thing he needed to be the best at. Figuring people out.