Chapter 14
You wake in the tent, the sun warming the air through the canvas as your eyes blink open. It’s empty, but you hear rustling just outside of the tent. You get up, stretching your sore muscles before folding the blanket and climbing out to see where your mother is.
She stands near a small fire, stirring something in a beat-up looking pot. She doesn’t look up as you move to sit beside her, looking into the pot. You expect to be looking at more of the grey sludge you’ve become accustomed to eating for meals, but a mixture of potatoes, broth, and vegetables peers up at you instead.
The smell hits you a moment later, warm and full of spices. You remember her cooking this, or something similar to it at your home when you were a child, long before the threat of Death Eaters and He Who Shall Not Be Named tainted your life with darkness.
She doesn’t look at you as she ladles some of the food into an uneven wooden bowl, handing it to you without a word. You look into it, your palms sweating as the steam swirls up and wraps around you, flooding your mind with memories of childhood.
Christmas mornings by the fireplace, long walks through the meadow outside of the house, holidays to the beach near your aunt’s house.
You’re halfway to the small stream between the swamp and the town before you even realize you’ve left the campsite. Your feet are wet with broth from dropping your bowl, and you rake your fingers angerly through your hair as you plunge them into the icy water of the stream.
“(Y/N)!” Your mother calls, running behind you. “(Y/N) what is your problem?”
You turn on your heels, nearly slipping on the smooth river rocks.
“What’s my problem?” You ask, shouting at her as she reaches the banks. “What’s your problem?”
Her eyes widen as she stops in her tracks.
“Why are you doing this?” You ask, still yelling. “Why are you acting like you give a shit about me?”
She doesn’t answer, simply staring at you with wide eyes.
“Why do you act like you want to be my mother?” You shout, hot tears of anger streaming down your cheeks. “You chose to leave. That’s on you.”
She still doesn’t speak as she slowly walks closer, stepping out of her shoes and stepping into the water.
“You’re right.” She answers. “I left you.”
You don’t move as she gets even closer, reaching down into the water with her hands.
“I’m no more your mother than I am a stranger.” She continues quietly. “But I know you.”
She drags a wet hand along your cheek, cleaning the tears away.
“And I just wanted to take care of you.” She whispers, dropping her hand back to her side.
You shake your head.
“Molly took care of me.” You answer, rubbing your sleeve against the wet trail left behind by her hand. “She was there every time I needed her. She held me when I cried. She took me to school. She clothed and fed me. She dressed me for my wedding. She helped me deliver my daughter.”
Your mother’s eyes fill with tears as she looks at you.
“You killed my father.” You continue, your voice breaking. “And you left me alone.”
She nods, looking down into the water as a tear drops into the stream.
“I’ll help you get what you need.” You tell her, drying your face again. “And then I’m going home.”
She nods again, and you turn away from her, walking out of the stream and back onto the grass. You walk back towards the campsite, hearing her quiet footsteps a few yards behind you. You use your wand to snuff out the fire, sitting on the ground near the tree as you put your heavy boots back on.
Your mother uses her own wand to pack the rest of the campsite back into her bag, slinging it over her shoulder before pulling her map back out.
“We have to head east.” She says quietly, clearing her throat. “Let’s be off then.”
You stand, following her as she walks, choosing a path that leads on the outskirts of the town. You don’t realize until you’re walking, your heartbeat slowing, that you’ve blocked Severus from your mind. Slowly, you let down your walls, letting his presence flood back into you.
Thank God you’re okay. He breathes, his warm fog filling your mind, calming you further. What happened?
You sigh softly.
I got in a fight with my mother. You answer flatly. Please tell Molly I miss her.
Your heart aches at the thought of your family at home, your fiery redheaded siblings and their welcoming and loving parents. You think of Daisy, her upcoming wedding to Charlie.
And tell Daisy she better not be planning without me. You add, smirking to yourself.
Severus laughs softly through the bond, and you imagine his perfect smile.
I will. He answers. They’re actually here. Daisy and Charlie anyway. They have Nova now.
A sinking feeling fills you as you imagine them smiling down at your daughter, making her laugh, kissing her cheeks.
Good. You answer, trying to mask any tinge of sadness. Do you know anything else about the stone?
You feel a spark of hope pushing through the bond, and your pulse spikes with it.
Yes. He replies, and you almost feel him leaning closer, excited to tell you. We think we know where you’re headed, Dumbledore and I will leave tonight to meet you there.
You have to actively fight to not shout aloud, to not laugh and jump around, alerting your mother that something is different. Instead, you just clasp your hands into fists, shoving them into your pockets.
I can’t wait. You push back. I miss you.
You kick at a stick on the ground as you walk, still slightly shaken from your argument with your mother. You look at the back of her head as she walks, keeping her eyes glued on the map.
I miss you too. Severus answers. So much.
You continue walking for hours, following your mother in thick silence as you continue down the path. You eventually find yourselves leaving the wet air of the swamp and climbing uphill on a dryer path.
The higher you climb, the thinner the air gets, and you realize that you’re starting up the side of a mountain.
“Where are we?” You ask, finally breaking the silence.
Your mother startles as you speak, stopping in her path and turning to face you.
“We’re trying to find a series of caves.” She says, tilting the map towards you again. “But unfortunately we have to go over this mountain first.”
She traces the portion of the map with her finger, showing you the path up the mountain before guiding her finger down the other side, showing a valley scattered with caves.
“And the stone is in the caves?” You ask, looking at her worn face.
She nods once, biting her lip gently.
“I hope so.” She answers softly, turning back around and continuing her walk up the mountain. You follow, your chest feeling lighter than it has in days.
So you’re meeting us at the caves? You ask Severus, hoping his answer is yes.
The sun beats down on you as you ascend up the mountain, your shirt beginning to stick to your back as sweat beads along your skin. You pull off your jacket, tying it around your waist.
Yes. He answers. As soon as I can get to you, I’ll take you far away from there.
You smile to yourself, imagining his arms wrapping around you again, imagining being safe and home with him again. You walk faster, hoping your urgency will speed your mother up as well.
She quickens her pace slightly, her eyes trained on the map, perhaps half expecting it to change paths again.
You stop once you near the top of the mountain, both of you panting in the midday sun as sweat drips down your faces. Your mother pulls her bag from her shoulder, taking out two cups and handing you one.
“Aguamenti.” She murmurs, waving her wand over your cup as clean, clear water begins to pour from the tip.
She fills your cup to the brim, and then hers before stopping the flow of the water from her wand. You drink it quickly, letting the cool water soothe your dry throat as you look out over the edge of the mountain before you.
It’s greener than you would’ve expected, the land below is lush with trees and grass. It stretches for miles, and a small river runs through the center, dipping off as the sky meets the horizon.
“It’s actually quite beautiful here.” You say quietly, not looking at your mother as you speak.
She murmurs in agreement, looking out over the landscape herself. You fiddle with the cup in your hands, not knowing what to say.
“Thanks.” You finally tell her, handing the cup back. “For the water.”
She nods, smiling a tight smile as she sets it back into her bag. You both stand, beginning to make your descent down the mountain. The way down seems to be more hazardous than the way up, and you find yourselves on a thin ledge over a rushing river, scaling the edge of the cliff.
“Are you sure this is the right way?” You call to your mother, keeping your back pressed against the rocks as you look down at the churning water.
“Yes!” She calls back, sliding against the wall of rock like you are, taking careful side steps along the edge. “If it were easy to get there, the stone wouldn’t be there!”
You sigh, taking a careful sidestep towards her. She’s right, it makes sense to hide the stone in a place that no one would want to go.
Severus says nothing as you scale the edge of the cliff, inch by agonizing inch, trying not to distract you from using every once of your mind to focus on not falling into the raging water below. Suddenly, your mother comes to a stop, turning to face you.
“What?” You call, trying to look ahead of her, but not wanting to stray too far from the wall.
“We have to jump!” She calls back, her eyes wide with fear. “There’s a break from the ledge to the land, we have to jump over it!”
You shake your head, your heart speeding in your chest.
“Are you mad?” You shout, daring to lean far enough past her to see the break. It’s not as big as you were expecting, but definitely too big to step over. “What if we fall?”
Your mother shakes her head now.
“We won’t!” She answers. “I’ll go first.”
You step closer to her, wanting to try to stop her, but she moves too quickly. You watch as she quickly side-steps to the edge, jumping with all of her strength over to the land on the other side.
She lands, stumbling onto the grass and turning to look at you.
“Now you!” She calls, holding her arms out. “I won’t let you fall!”
You take a deep breath, gritting your teeth before following her movements precisely. Your feet leave the ledge, and air rushes through your hair as you jump over the river. One foot lands on the grass, but the other slips, causing you to stumble.
You scream as gravity takes over, pulling you down towards the watery grave below, but your hands are suddenly in your mother’s. Your eyes lock on hers as she holds you up, dangling over the water.
“I’ve got you!” She screams, holding tightly. “Pull yourself up! You can do this!”
You nod, pushing your feet against the side of the cliff, trying to find anywhere to push yourself upward. Finally you find a hole in the rock, and you use it to hoist yourself up onto the grass. Your mother pulls you by your hands, helping you get away from the edge.
You lay on your back, and she collapses beside you, each of you panting heavily in the grass as you stare up at the late, afternoon sky.
“You saved me.” You breathe, turning your head to look at her.
She turns her head to look back at you.
“Molly would’ve.” She breathes back, no trace of malice in her voice.
She smiles softly, pushing a strand of your hair away from your face before looking back up at the sky.
You smile at the side of her face, a genuine smile, before turning back towards the sky as well. You both stay like this for a while, not talking, not moving, just being silent and still together.
Eventually she gets up, and you follow her lead, following her down this new path. It’s greener and easier to navigate than before, and you wonder if you’re getting close to the caves.
The sun continues to dip lower in the sky, cooling the air as it does. You pull your jacket back onto your body, zipping it as you walk.
All at once, the sky darkens, as if the sun extinguished altogether. You look at your mother, and she looks back at you with a grave expression. She looks towards the sky, and you follow her gaze.
“Dementors.” She breathes, and you hardly have a chance to breathe before they descend.