Head tall, Eyes ahead, Heart proud
Her Ma had been first to say that. She couldn’t remember it from her own memory, those made with her parents were like pieces of paper. So thin the light shone through. But she had watched the memory replay in her sisters mind a thousand times. Her Pa is whistling as he cooks in the kitchen just through a door to the side and they are both on Ma’s lap as she rocks in the old rocking chair. Teenie, slightly bigger, is nestled between their mother and the arm of the chair and Queenie herself is leaning against her Ma’s chest. Breathing in slow lungfuls of her perfume that smelled like lemons and lavender. She had taken a deep breath and spoke softly as she rocked
“My Gorgeous girls. The world we live in is not a kind one. It can take the most beautiful souls and crush them. And as much as I hope to be able to guide you to see all the wonders this Earth has to offer I must tell you both something. No matter what comes a woman is not something to be walked on. You are stars, deserving to shine. As long as you keep your heads tall, your eyes ahead and your hearts proud you will always be strong, you will always shine and you will always make me proud of you.”
At that age, they had just chorused
“We will Mama” then went back to their childish stories and Ma’s lullaby. The weight of what their mother had just shared was ignored in favour of the soft tones of her songs.
How Queenie wished she sometimes could go back to that rocking chair and curl back into her Ma’s lap, Her sister's feet entwining with her own as they sang along. A place far away.
Head tall, Eyes ahead, Heart proud
She had fallen in love with him. There was no doubt in hell that the No maj had stolen her heart. A forbidden romance in all senses of the word. Which only made her heart throb like a gaping wound as they apparated away from that station before Jacobs mind could finish being wiped clean, and back to their apartment. The dinner that night had been uncomfortable, to say the least as not only did Queenie have her own thoughts to contend with, she had her sisters and the quiet hum of Newts which was starting to get slightly clearer. They had all avoided the topic of Jacob fervently, choosing to instead walk the line of safe topics such as the weather and coffee.
The days passed and Newt and Tina fell into a rhythm while Queenie was held together by a thread. Tina noticed something was off, so did Newt to an extent, but Queenie waved any questioning off. Purposely ignoring her sister's mental questions because the world wasn’t going to break her. and nor was her sister or a handsome No Maj.
Head tall, Eyes ahead, Heart proud
She found herself in the bakery almost by accident. She had been at home ironing while Tina folded and a soup bubbled on the stove when a now-familiar owl had pecked on the window then been let in with a flick of Tina's wand. The owl had come to a sliding stop and held its leg out expectantly which Tina quickly snatched up and undid the twine. Queenie had caught a glance of the elegant blue script of a certain trouble-prone English Magizoologist which caused Tina's thoughts to spiral at the mere sight of it.
She had turned back to her ironing as she listened to the echoes of Tina's thoughts. All surrounded by the haze that had started to appear whenever she thought of him, a confirmation of what Queenie had suspected since they had first come back after the incident in the station. Her big sister was smitten and if the snippets of his own dialogue she heard through her sister's reading the feeling was rather mutual. However Newts sudden interference had made her feel a sharp stab of emotion in her gut and she had excused herself with a cheery grin, a notion barely acknowledged by Tina as she drank in the letter.
So here she was. Stood outside the bakery. He may not recognise her and she could move on or she could gain her life back. All she needed to do was take one final step.
Head tall, Eyes ahead, Heart proud
They had lost track of time. Tina had been unaware of what was going on for months, even as she got more and more grumpy since discovering about Newt's engagement. It was meant to be like every other meeting where all traces of Jacob were gone by the time Tina had even entered the building. But they had lost track of time. She could still remember the disbelieving gasp and the crash of the grocery bags hitting the floor. Tina’s eyes flooded with tears before suddenly all traces of emotion hardened and the yelling began. Jacob hadn’t dared to move and suddenly Tina had stopped yelling and taken a deep breath before starting in a deathly quiet tone
“I was asked to go to Paris. There’s a sign Credence may be alive but I was considering not going to stay here with you but… I suppose you have one another now”
There was a venom to her tone, a threat and before Queenie could stop herself she had spat back.
“Yeah we do! ‘Cause my guy actually wants to be with me”
Never had she regretted a statement so much because at that moment she saw her sister shatter. She had said something about being off early tomorrow and then she had left, slamming the door loud enough to shake the building, but not enough to silence the ensuing sobs. Jacob had gulped and they shared a quick conversation before he left as well and Queenie had to face entering the room with her angry and betrayed sister. One step at a time.
Head tall, Eyes ahead, Heart proud
She couldn’t believe Jacob had called her crazy. She had enchanted him so they could be together. So they could live freely. Yet he had called her crazy. Like she was some mad woman who had kidnapped him and taken him to a foreign land. She could get a boat quickly enough, she vaguely remembered Newt saying that once you get to the south coast there was an easy way to get to France. For the first time in a while, she felt desperate for her sister, someone who will hold her and let her cry and scream and will help her make Jacob see sense. She wanted her Teenie. She could feel herself flaking apart and Mama’s words began to echo with every thud of her frantic heartbeat as she walked along the docks.
Head tall, Eyes ahead, Heart proud
Paris felt like hell on earth. The noises were closing in. The rain was like scalding water as it poured from the sky as if someone wanted to curse her more. Rosier was kind, stable and Grindelwald…Tina had said what the man was capable of but he didn’t seem that deadly. More of a flower than a serpent. Besides, she was her person, not her sister's puppet. Mama had said she was meant to shine. Maybe the way to do that was without her sister at her side.
Head tall, Eyes ahead, Heart proud
A few steps and she was there. The flames called her, their crackling an unrelenting song. She would make Mama proud. She would show Teenie that this was the best option. She would show Jacob that this is where he should be. She would step into the future. The past only ever held pain and hurt and chaos but Gellert, he held the answer. So she turned from her sister's cries and the desperate scramble of English thoughts pouring from Newt's head and stepped forward.
Her head held tall, her eyes straight ahead, her heart proud.