BLAME

Chapter 6:  This is my body and soul here

“Alright, lads, this is a fairly straightforward mission. We have intel that the DEs will attack the Holburn Under-The-Ground- “ Moody said, pointing his cane at the blackboard, where a map of said tube station was magically drawing itself.

“God give me patience,” Lily Evans said aloud.

“What are you on about, woman?” Moody was clearly in a foul mood and did not take kindly to being interrupted, even by one of his favourite Order members.

“How many times do I have to remind you, man, it’s the Underground, the London Underground,” Lily said, rolling her eyes at him.

“That’s what I said,” Moody looked at her blankly.

“Lost cause,” Remus Lupin muttered beside her. “Purebloods – they’re all a bit thick, on account of the whole…” Remus wiggled his eyebrows and raised his palms in the air, as though admitting defeat.

Lily snorted. Sirius Black shook his head at Moody and stuck his feet up on the chair in front of him.

“It’s technically called the Under-The-Ground, but everyone calls it tubing. Keep up with the muggle lingo, Moody,” he said, all pureblood posh voice and condescending tone.

“Tubing?” Remus turned to look at him, arms folded across his chest.

“Yes, exactly. Under-The-Ground is for old people,” Sirius beamed at him.

Lily tried to stifle a guffaw. The other half-bloods and muggleborns laughed outright. How Remus manged to keep a perfectly straight face was beyond her.

“Oh yes, tubing,” Remus said, biting the side of his lip. “I forgot I taught you that. Well remembered.”

The giggles exploded.

“See? I do pay attention to you, Moony, darling,” Sirius said.

“Tubing?” James said, looking around at the amused faces and his (ex) best friend with a confused look.

“Yes, tubing,” said Lily. “I’m going tubing today, what about you? Oh no, I think I’ll take a taxidermist. That sort of thing.”

Remus started a coughing fit.

“Right,” said James, running a hand through his hair. “A taxidermist?”

“Yeah, I mean we call it a taxi for short, when talking with purebloods,” she said serenely.

“Huh,” he said with a polite nod. “Thank you.”

Lily hid her mouth with her hand and smiled to herself. Remus elbowed her lightly. She elbowed him back.

“Merlin’s balls, will you all shut up, the lot of yous!” Moody snapped, waving his wand in an erratic manner at the younger recruits.

That shut them up pretty fast. Moody was too unpredictable to be sure what his limits were.

“As I was saying,” Moody sighed irritably, turning back to the blackboard. “We have word that there will be an attack on Saturday evening and- “

“You can’t all arrive immediately; Voldemort will find it very suspicious.”

A few people cringed at the name, but James didn’t seem to have noticed. Lily turned to look at him. He was wearing one of Sirius Black’s Bowie t-shirts which was too tight on him and showed off his broad shoulders, stretched across his chest and his biceps. It really suited him. So did his lack of fear when it came to talking about Voldemort. It was hot. He was also wearing one of Sirius’ pairs of black jeans, also a bit tight. He had a nice ars-

“You’re staring.”

Remus spoke quietly from the side of his mouth, looking straight ahead.

“I am not! I was checking to see does he look alright, er, healthy,” she gave him a sharp dig.

“Uh-huh. Healthy. Yeah,” Remus answered, shooting her a look.

She gave him another sharp dig. James was talking again.

“It would be best if one of you, of us, preferably a known muggleborn, could pretend to be there by chance and then send a Patronus to the rest. If you could pre-arrange to be on a surveillance mission in say, Leather Lane Market, then you could be there in under two minutes?” he said.

“Bit of a nasty pickle for the muggleborn,” Sirius said, looking at James with disdain. “Two minutes is enough time to get AK’ed to hell at least a dozen times.”

“Or they could disapparate to get the others,” James said, without looking at him.

“No, that’s a bad idea,” Lily said. “They have to make sure they are seen by Tom Riddle’s forces or they’ll guess we have a spy.”

“Tom Riddle?” James said.

“Yeah, that wanker who calls himself Voldemort. It’s his real name.”

“Nice one, Evans,” said Sirius, looking at her in awe.

James didn’t answer but he saluted her, his eyes shining. She couldn’t help feeling pleased with herself.

“Good point, Potter,” Moody admitted, shifting uncomfortably from his prosthetic leg to the other. “Now, I need a volunt- “

“I’ll do it,” Lily said, crossing her ankles. “Shouldn’t be too difficult to hold them off as long as you lot don’t get distracted and actually show up on time.”

“No. That’s stupid,” Dorcas narrowed her eyes. “You are way too precious as a Healer to set yourself up as a- “

“Pff!” Lily rolled her eyes. “Nobody is more- “

“Merlin’s arse,” Dorcas cut her off with a glare.

“Bollocks,” said Benjy, looking annoyed. “I can do it, I’m better- “

“Moody, we both know I’ll make a much better diversion than a boring male, no offence, like Benjy. And we know I’m a good actor, I’ll ham it up nicely. Shrieking, throw my wand around like a poor, defenceless- “

Moody snorted.

“Tis far from defenceless ye are, Evans,” he muttered gruffly.

“Exactly. I’m the best you got,” Lily grinned back defiantly.

“I’ll have you know,” Dorcas pointed a warning finger at her.

“You are good at duelling, but not a muggleborn, what the hell would you be doing in the tube station?” she shot back.

Dorcas had no answer.

“For fuck’s sake,” Marlene McKinnon muttered tetchily.

“I don’t like it,” Sirius said, in the tone of voice of someone who was used to other people doing what they were told.

“Shut it, Black,” she said, placing her hand in the air just as James opened his mouth. “You too, Potter.”

“I think we should take into account that the Red Lion may make an appearance,” James looked at Moody. "We may not need the Order to appear at all."

“The who?” she said.

“What a joke, Potter,” Sirius scoffed at his ex- friend, sliding down the back of the chair in disgust. “The Red Lion is a fucking fake, you blithering idiot! He’s a piece of Ministry propaganda, to make people believe that some hero in a weirdo outfit is going to save us all from the Deaters.”

“The Red Lion?” Lily repeated, scrunching up her nose.

“Ah, good, we were just about to share a piece of information about the Red Lion that is of interest to you, Miss Evans.”

They all turned to the door. Dumbledore was standing there, gnarled hands clasped together, a bland expression on his face. His eyes, however, had a cool glint, like a winter sky. Standing beside him was the last person she wanted to see.

“Severus,” she blurted out.

“Lily,” he smiled at her, a thin, short-lived smile.

She felt bile in her throat. Marlene, Dorcas, Sirius and James sprang to their feet, wands out.

“The fuck?” Sirius spat out, stepping out from behind desk.

“Get the little bigoted greaseball out of this room, Dumbledore, or I’ll hex him to eternity,” Marlene said.

“On it,” said Dorcas, raising her wand.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please relax, Mr Snape is here as my guest. He has some vital information to share with us. Information which may prove critical to Lord Voldemort’s downfall.”

Snape’s eyed had widened in horror as he soon as he saw James Potter.

“You failed to inform me this… was going to be here,” he said between his teeth.

“Snape,” James said evenly, lowering his wand reluctantly.

She could see the muscles on his back tensing. She could tell immediately that these two still detested each other.

“Mr Potter, Mr Snape,” Dumbledore said, ignoring the unsaid hostility. “I should perhaps have warned you both.”

“I wouldn’t dream of expecting anything from you, Sir,” James laughed, sounding bitter.

Snape opened and closed the button on the cuff of his shirt. Lily could tell that he was furious.

“Mr Snape,” Dumbledore gestured to an empty chair. “Would you be so kind as to share with my colleagues the prophecy you just heard?”

Snape hesitated.

“I can leave,” James said, looking bored.

“No, Mr Potter,” Dumbledore shook his head. “Please, Severus.”

The thin, supercilious boy sneered at James before walking over to Lily.

“I overheard a seer saying this to the Dark Lord, yesterday, under the influence of Veritaserum,” he said, handing her a small piece of rolled parchment.

“Did you get a name, Severus?” the headmaster leaned forwards.

“No, but she looked odd, covered in beads and bracelets, and unkempt hair. An old hag. She was on her third drink when Malfoy slipped the Veritaserum into her glass,” Snape said.

“No need to be so judgy, Snape, not exactly an oil painting yourself,” Sirius Black said, glancing up and down at Snape with contempt. “Ill-fitted, out of date robes, no arse and no hairdresser – that’d be my first opinion of you.”

Lily felt an inordinate need to laugh and pinched herself.

“Don’t be so harsh, Sirius,” James said, twirling his wand. “He may not be an oil painting, yet oil is still part of his repertoire.

Lily watched Sirius grin before he could remind himself he wasn’t on good terms with Potter. Snape looked livid.

“Sounds like Sybill Trelawney,” Dumbledore intervened, shooting a reproachful look at Potter and Black.

Snape shrugged as though he couldn’t be bothered replying. She looked at Dumbledore and unrolled the paper; she hadn’t seen Severus’ handwriting in years, yet it was so distinctive – the excessive angularity, the lack of loops in the lower zones, it brought back so many memories, memories now tainted by his choices.

“Son of the Red Flower

Born before the seventh month ends

Talk of his coming will herald

the Dark Lord’s downfall -

Dark Marks fade, Red Lion dies

In the blink of an eye”

There was silence. Dumbledore nodded a few times.

“What the fuck does that actually mean?” Remus said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Lily recalled he always hated Divination. Snape moved his chair closer to Lily.

“The red flower is Lily. It will not be long before the Dark Lord realises this. She will be in great danger,” Snape said.

“Yes, I agree with your assessment Severus,” Dumbledore’s beady eyes made her feel uncomfortable.

“And this so-called Red Lion?” Remus said what they had all wanted to know.

“Not a fake, Mr Black,” said Dumbledore with a condescending smile at Sirius. “He does in fact exist.”

“Course he fucking exists, I’ve seen him,” James said.

His hazel eyes were hard, and she couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“He nearly killed you,” Snape smiled.

It was unpleasant, gave her the shivers. She moved her chair away from him, towards Remus.

“You’ve seen him too, Severus?” Dumbledore sat up straighter.

“Yes. He looks pathetic, but he is a strong wizard.”

James bristled with annoyance.

“He may look pathetic to you, but to muggles he doesn’t. His outfit is similar to their Superheroes – he wears a tight-fitting black suit with a black cloak and a red lion in profile on his back,” he said.

“Is he a muggle?” Sirius looked genuinely interested, if not excited.

“Trust Sirius to lust after a dramatic man in leather,” Remus had his hand over his mouth, but she heard him and smiled to herself.

“To be honest, I think Sirius would want to be him,” she whispered back.

“No. He’s a wizard. Probably a muggleborn. He duels well. He’s attacked the Death Eaters about a dozen times in the past twelve months. Always surrounds himself with smoke, nobody has ever managed to get a good look at him.”

“Is it the Gryffindor banner lion?” Dumbeldore said.

“Think so, Sir,” James said.

“And he nearly killed you?” Sirius sounded impressed.

“Blasted a wall behind us, narrowly missed me,” Potter said, keeping his face impassive, folding his arms.

“Pity, would have done us all a favour,” Sirius said, folding his arms in turn. “So what? Lily gets, er, pregnant, and her son saves the wizarding world but somehow gets this suited chap killed?”

“More or less,” James said.

“Well, hate to break it to you, boys, but I’m not getting pregnant any time soon,” Lily said, feeling more irritated by the second.

“Ah but Evans, perhaps this Lion stud will seduce you with his- “

“Tight pants?” she said, looking bored.

“Nice arse?” Sirius winked.

“You seem to forget I don’t like fat-headed individuals,” she said, raising her left eyebrow. “He sounds like a pain.”

“Killing off Deaters, though, Evans? One against ten, or more, by the sound of it. I find that rather attractive in a man,” Sirius said.

“Not attractive enough to get me pregnant, love,” she said. “Besides, the prophecy says nothing about who I’m meant to end up shagging.”

“Prophecies are overrated,” Remus said.

He looked pissed off for some reason.

“So are nice arses,” she replied.

“Remus has a nice arse,” Sirius said, apropos of nothing.

“Fuck off,” Remus said.

The fair-haired man had a great sense of humour, but today he didn’t seem to be finding his friend’s antics funny.

“What? It’s true,” Sirius shrugged casually. “Am I not allowed compliment your physique?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Remus rubbed the back of neck again, scowling.

“Thank you, Severus, we are very indebted to you for this piece of information,” the headmaster said.

“We’re literally not,” Sirius said, curling his lip at Snape. “Why are you telling us this? Pretending to swap sides, like Potter?”

Lily watched as Potter’s jaw twitched in agitation. Snape’s nostrils flared.

“I’m here because I want to keep Lily Evans safe,” he said, moving his chair closer to hers.

“I don’t need anyone to keep me safe, Snape, I’m quite capable of doing that myself,” she said, edging away from him again.

“I won’t let anything happen to you, Lily! You need to hide, now! I’m here to protect you!”

Snape’s eyes were burning too brightly, like he was a bit obsessed with her.

You don’t own me, Snape! You don’t get to tell am what to do!

“I’ll keep your well-meaning advice in mind, Snape,” she stood up, casually tossing her brown leather jacket over her shoulders.

“You are not going on any more missions, Lily! I won’t let you!”

Snape hands grabbed her shoulders. James Potter stood up, pointing his wand at Snape. Lily gave Snape a hard shove, sending him stumbling backwards.

“Perhaps I wasn’t clear enough, Snape,” she hissed at him coldly. “What I meant was – fuck off. And I will be at Holburn Station on Saturday. The rest of you stand by for my Patronus.”

Dumbledore looked conflicted.

“I will be there, regardless. If any of the other muggleborns want to come too, it’s their business, but I don’t advise it,” she said.

Snape looked aghast at her, as though shocked at her indifference.

“Good day, gentlemen,” she said, walking past the men and beckoning to Dorcas and Marlene. “Drink?”

“Sure,” Marlene replied, tossing her blonde, back-combed hair into a high ponytail. “I’m out of here.”

“Ditto,” said Dorcas, grinning at Lily. “Lead the way, Lils.”

***

What the fuck was Severus fucking Snape doing here? Was he lying? Was he really working for Dumbledore now?

“What, so you didn’t give a shit about Evans when you were fighting her all this time, when she was injured on numerous occasions fighting you and your bastard friends, but all of a sudden, because of a vague little prophecy, you’re worried about her safety? Sure, we believe you. Give me a break,” Sirius laughed harshly and threw his wand into the air, catching it repeatedly.

Snape looked hike he wanted to murder Sirius.

“What you stupid, entitled know-it-alls don’t realise, Black, is that once the Dark Lord zones in on you as a target, your fate is sealed,” Snape said, talking slowly, as though to a young child.

“If you’re fighting to kill off mudbloods, which you are, then I don’t see what any of this has to do with you,” Sirius said, catching his wand lightly and licking his lower lip.

“I’m risking my life to save Lily Evans!”

“Congratulations, have a biscuit, Snivellus,” Sirius mocked.

“All muggleborns have a huge target on their back. This information may increase her risk. We might prefer if she gave up fighting and disappeared until Voldemort is defeated. But she has the right to decide what she does, and anyone who knows Evans will tell you she isn’t going to hide while Death Eaters continue to attack innocent muggles,” James said.

“As if you know a single thing about Lily Evans!” Snape’s voice shook, he sounded enraged.

“I know enough,” he said, feeling his shoulders tensing.

“You know nothing, do you understand, nothing! Stay away from her, or else,” Snape hissed furiously.

“Or else what, Snivellus?” Sirius Black said, standing next to James.

“Or you’ll regret it,” Snape hissed.

“Gentlemen,” Dumbledore sighed. “And this Red Lion, do you have any more information on him?”

Snape shook his head.

“Aside from him being a show-off and a fool who was always going to get himself killed sooner rather than later.”

“Potter?”

“No.”

Well, he wasn’t going to tell any of them that he was the Red Lion, was he?