In those first few months, Andromeda had no interest in living. Every day, she began the morning by vomiting into the toilet before breakfast. Before bedtime, she’d look through old photos of Ted and Dora from years before, and allow her chest to heave heavily with sobs. She ate nothing until her stomach lining was literally burning from hunger. She wanted to disappear. She wanted to be wherever her family was.
The only thing keeping her alive was her grandson.
Perhaps the universe decided to cut her some slack by making Teddy a sweet, gurgly baby who cried very little. He was beginning to grow quickly now, and he wanted to eat whatever she made. He loved small, mashed up bananas. She let him sip the tiniest amount of room temperature tea. When Andromeda finally snapped out of her depression, she made him her entire life, cooing at him and singing the songs she once sang to lull Dora to sleep.
Two months after the war, Harry Potter appeared on her doorstep, apologizing profusely for not attending to his godson since his birth. Andromeda had been a little upset when he never wrote, but she saw his face. Bags under his eyes. He was always trembling, as if ready to cry at any time. Like her, he barely ate. She forgave him, and welcomed him inside. After that, he came three times a week and took care of Teddy for hours while she cleaned the house. When Harry was comfortable enough caring for the baby, and she herself had healed enough, she began writing as a columnist for the Daily Prophet, called The Blood Traitor’s Thoughts, recording her reflections of the war, providing kindness and encouragement to the Wizarding World of how to heal.
She was not entirely happy.
Though she was finally beginning to come together again.
+
It’s shortly after Teddy turns eight months old when she hears a knock on the door. It was a Sunday, and Harry was not supposed to come visit. Neither were any of her old friends who had written to her that they planned to see her. Frowning, she stood up, and opened the door.
In front of her stood Narcissa.
Her knee-jerk reaction was to lean in for her wand, and hex her. One hand did lean on her wand. Her other reaction was to reach for the door and slam it shut. But her sister already jammed her foot into the door before she could.
“Andromeda…” She said shakily.
All of the calm she had carefully cultivated over the months swept away when she heard her name.
“What?” She snarled, “You weren’t satisfied with killing my husband, daughter, and son-in-law? Did you come to kill me too, Narcissa? To orphan my grandson?”
She opened her mouth to reply. Andromeda ignored her.
“Haven’t you pained me enough?”
Narcissa was glassy-eyed, her lower lip trembling.
“You can call me many things.” She whispered, hurt, “You can call me a bitch. A traitor. But I’m not a murderer. I’d never do that. You know me, Andy. That’s not me.”
“Don’t call me Andy. What the fuck do you want?”
“I came to make amends.”
“No. Get off my property or I’ll show you that your husband isn’t the only one who can use a Forbidden Curse.”
“Please,” She tried raising her voice above a whisper, “if it helps, I’ll give you my wand. You can put it in a locked room. It doesn’t matter. And you know I’m rubbish at wandless magic.”
Andromeda considered this. If she really wanted to hex her, she had the upper hand.
“Get in,” She said, opening the door wider, “if you try anything at all, I will curse you. I don’t care how much you want to make amends.”
Narcissa nodded, entered the door and turned in her wand. Without thinking much, she took the wand, opened the hallway closet, and chucked it in. She saw her sister wince, though said nothing. Andromeda pointed her wand and said, “Colloportus.” and it sealed itself firmly.
“How did you find my address?” She asked as she led them into the sitting room.
“An old letter from Ted.”
“Ted wrote to you?” She sat on the armchair. Narcissa sat stiffly on the couch.
“Years ago. He wrote to ask me if I would at all reconsider not attending your wedding. The envelope included this address. I suppose he trusted me enough not to turn it over to the Dark Lord.”
Andromeda’s eyes fell to the floor, thinking of this. Her husband had known how much she loved her sisters. It was true to Ted for him to risk it all through a letter, to try to give her a little joy even if it was unreachable.
“Okay,” She looked again at her sister, “I allowed you inside my house. What do you want?”
“I told you. I want to make amends.”
“You don’t sound like you’re making amends.”
Narcissa tilted her head downwards, eyes looking at anywhere but her. She visibly swallowed, and slowly began to speak.
“I was wrong, all those years ago. About everything. I should have stood up for you when mother disowned you. I could have stopped Bella from using the Cruciatus on you. I wish I had gone to your wedding. I should have tried to get to know Ted. I should have tried to care for Nymphadora, because I know you would have cared for my Draco if I had given you the chance. I failed you as a sister. And I failed to be a decent human being.”
Andromeda crossed her legs, staring her down as she spoke.
“And I should have stopped Lucius from joining the Death Eaters. That’s where our life began to become complicated. And I can’t believe I didn’t stop Draco from joining, either. What I’m trying to say is I am so sorry for everything. I regret it all.”
“Apologies don’t bring my family back.” She retorted.
“I know it doesn’t.”
“Do you really expect me to forgive you?”
“No, I don’t. I knew coming into this that it was possible I could come out dead. I would have understood if you tried to kill me, because your anger is justified. Draco tried to stop me from going. I almost didn’t want to go. But I had to try. Losing you was one of the worst decisions I ever made.”
She rolled her eyes, “Oh, please. I have heard the stories from Harry alone of who you are. You’re just as disgusting as the rest of them. Treating everyone like they’re beneath you. Calling Muggleborns by that slur. You are not a kind person, Narcissa. I don’t buy any of this.”
“I know I was like that. But the number of deaths after the war changed my mind. Hearing how that blood traitor Weasley-” She winced before correcting herself, “that Weasley boy helped in saving my son. How many Muggleborns have fought in the Battle of Hogwarts? They’re braver than I am. I changed my mind.” Her icy blue eyes seemed a touch warmer, “I made so many mistakes. Andy…”
“Don’t call me that, seriously.”
“Give me a chance.” She finished, “We need to stick together. You and I are going to get old in time. We’ve both lost our husbands.”
“What happened to Lucius?” Andromeda couldn’t help asking.
“He’s in Azkaban for the next seven years.” A flicker of anger crossed her face, “I don’t have any choice in the matter. I’m grateful Draco was left unharmed.”
“I see.” She was secretly pleased. Some form of justice, at least, was served.
“So that’s why I’m here. I came to apologize for everything.”
Andromeda’s voice was cold, “Your husband can be in Azkaban and your reputation might be ruined, but you forget, I lost my entire family. So your apologies do not bring them back, or at least pay for the funerals they had-”
“If you wanted, I would do that! But that’s not fair to me either. I never asked to be associated with the Dark Lord.”
“You should have thought about that before you married a blood purist!” She stood on her feet.
“We grew up in a blood purist family! Are you forgetting where you came from?” Narcissa was now standing, fists balled as tears rolled down her face, “You were just as much as a blood purist as I wa-”
“Finish that sentence, and I’ll hex you. Like hell I was. Because I grew some common sense. I listened to other Muggleborns. I learned. I fell in love with a Muggleborn. I stood up for my beliefs!”
“Merlin, do you think I wanted to be disowned like you?” Nacissa gaped, “Even if I learned what you learned at the same time, I would have never, ever wanted to be cut off-”
“You’re a coward.” She challenged in return, “That’s what you should be apologizing for. Being a coward. Even more so for not protecting your own son from joining the Death Eate-”
They were abruptly cut off by the sound of tears. Immediately, the two women stopped speaking as Andromeda’s heart sank. How could she have forgotten that Teddy was asleep in his cot just a few feet away?
“Teddy,” She stood immediately and picked him up from his cot, “darling, I’m sorry.” The baby wailed as he laid his head on his grandmother’s shoulder, like he only needed her, and that was all he wanted. For a few moments, as he calmed down, she forced herself to focus on him, and not the other unwelcome person in the room. She waited until he was sitting up, eyes droopy but not quite asleep.
It was only when Andromeda looked back up to continue her sentence when she saw Narcissa’s face.
She was weeping silently, tears falling fast, with her fists sealed shut. Her shoulders shook. In another time, Andromeda would have never believed this version of her sister. She was so used to seeing her in a perfect, prim face, only broken when she used to laugh at a joke when they were much younger. Never this, with red eyes and brows furrowed deeply.
“I just realized I’ve never seen you mother a baby.” Her sister finally whispered. Through her tears, she cracked a little smile, “I never thought I’d even see you within 10 feet of a baby.”
Before she realized what she was saying, she had said, “You wouldn’t believe me then if I told you that cleaning magic is my specialty.”
“What! Really? I wish. I’m rubbish at cleaning magic.”
“Like you’ve ever been within 10 feet of a toilet brush.” Andromeda snorted.
Narcissa chuckled despite herself, “You’re right.”
Teddy was gurgling now, looking curiously at the visitor. His hair was at the dark brown he sported when he just woke up from a nap. Narcissa looked back in return.
“He’s a quiet baby.” She observed. Andromeda noticed her trying to change the subject, though she was willing to talk about the baby now that Narcissa couldn’t access her wand.
“He is, thank god. He’s bubbly and doesn’t cry much.”
“I saw you write about him in your Daily Prophet column last week,” Her sister said quietly. When Andromeda looked at her oddly, she shrugged, “It was the one way I could figure out what you were up to. That one article you wrote about losing family twice was what convinced me, in the end, to locate your address. Losing one sister was painful enough. It was like I lost Bella twice.”
“She was never the same after I left?”
“No.” Of course. Andromeda resigned herself to the knowledge that they lost their Bella several years ago. The Bella who died at Hogwarts was the demented shadow of who she once was.
“And you, then?” Narcissa directed at her, “Are you the same?”
“Yes and no. If you mean if I was the blood purist girl from before, absolutely not. The war changed everything. Losing Ted, Dora, and Remus in one go almost killed me. But I still like doing the stuff we did when we were little. I still love gardening, and sewing.”
“Remus…” Her sister said slowly, “You know, I heard about the marriage from Lucius. Must say I was surprised. I thought that Remus had been-”
“In love with Sirius? He was. Sirius' death crushed both Remus and Dora. It moved the two of them to get closer. I wasn’t approving of it at first. To me, Remus was a cousin by proxy because of how close he was to Sirius. But he really did care for her until the end.”
“And now you have a grandson.”
“Right. I must be the youngest gran in the world.”
Teddy chose that moment to extend his arms towards Narcissa. It was something out of the ordinary. It was like he had been born naturally suspicious of the world. It was like prying teeth out to get him to trust anyone, even Harry. So as he extended his arms, she raised one eyebrow, and then two.
“He rarely does that.” She noted. She would rather eat slugs than let the other woman hold him, after all she’d done, but the baby strained against her arms, cooing at Narcissa.
“I can hold him.” She offered, looking affronted when Andromeda frowned, “What? I have held babies too. I have a son.”
“I swear to god, if you try anything…”
“You’ll hex me, yeah, yeah,” Narcissa rolled her eyes, looking and sounding much more like her teenage self at that moment, “come on, then.”
She gingerly gave the baby to her, and her sister shifted Teddy on one arm to carry him. He, in turn, gurgled, and promptly turned his hair blond to match his aunt’s.
Narcissa gasped, taken aback. Andromeda couldn’t help but laugh, “He’s a metamorphmagus, like his mum. He does that when anyone holds him. It’s his way of saying hello.”
“Amazing,” She murmured, before grinning, “what a talented little boy.”
That was something she agreed with.
They both fell into silence as Teddy patted his aunt’s face, curious with her features, as Narcissa shut her eyes and let him do so.
“Andy,” She said as she bounced the baby, “I’ve done you wrong a million times. I will do anything to make it up for it. I shouldn’t have left it alone for so long. But to tell you the truth, I had considered looking for you many times. Bella threatened to disown me if I did. Lucius urged me to avoid that as well.”
“Because the Dark Lord would have tried to kill you if you went searching for me.” Andromeda realized.
“Yes.”
She grappled with that for a moment. She recalled, briefly, the night she left.
Don’t go, please. I promise if you say sorry, they’ll forgive you. Don’t go.
I can’t take it anymore, Cissy. I’m in love with Ted. I can’t stand the ideals of this family anymore.
You can never come back here if you leave.
I know.
Why would you do this to me?
I’m sorry.
Fine. Just go. I can’t look at you anymore.
“Did you ever miss me?”
“All the time.” She croaked, “I cried every day in the first year you left. Bella regretted using the Cruciatus on you, too, though she mourned less than I did.”
Andy nodded, “Tell you the truth, I missed you too.”
“I promise I’ll make up for all the lost years. I’m taking back control of my life, after losing so much freedom to the Dark Lord. Trust me.”
She hesitated a few more moments. But she wasn’t imagining the genuine pleading in Cissy’s eyes.
“I hope you know it will take a long time for you to regain my trust, Cissy.”
Her sister relaxed at the nickname, “I understand and I don’t mind. Even if it takes years. You can keep locking my wand in the cupboard until you can trust me.”
And that was a lot of risk to place on her safety, Andy acknowledged.
“Alright. You won’t hurt me anymore, right?”
“No, not again. Never again.”
Teddy had fallen asleep on his aunt. Cissy made a move to return the baby to her.
“Thank you,” Andy replied, before smiling, “come back next week?”
Her sister burst into a smile, like a sun out of the clouds, “I’ll come back.”