The time of warm jumpers and long days in front of the fireplace had arrived in a bliss. Scotland was covered in snow with the children of the town making figures with their bodies over it. It was no big deal, Rosmerta had the best hot chocolate to drink after a great day spent playing out in the freezing streets of Hogsmade. From time to time, McGonagall and Pomfrey would go to have a nice cup of tea and chat with the waitress.
Every student was eager to go home for the holidays in the next few weeks, but Sirius Black wasn't especially excited. He couldn't help feeling betrayed and misplaced, even though the Potter's are the loveliest people he had ever met and they were more than happy to have him home during the holidays.
He had run away from his house that year, so the wound was still fresh. Maybe it would always hurt, remembering a family that never loved him. But he had James, Regulus and Peter, what else could he ask for? Even Lily was now one of his best friends. And Remus, Moony, Remus John Lupin. Lately he felt different towards his best friend, things had changed between them, thankfully not in a bad way - his poor heart wouldn't be able to face a fight with Remus - instead, he felt weird and awkward around him, always trying to be near Remus.
Sirius could spend hours just watching him reading or studying - Remus had had to bring him back from the Moon a few times because apparently he was lost there when he was supposed to be studying as well. But Sirius didn't care, he was just glad Remus was noticing him. He hoped Remus could see him, you know? See him differently. The way he saw him. Maybe they needed time.
In 1977, Hanukkah started the 4th and finished the 12th of December.
"The fact that I can't go home for Hanukkah nor celebrate it properly here is frustrating. Doesn't Dumbledore know that there are many Jewish kids at Hogwarts? My mam cannot send me everything, the owl post sucks, I swear, but she's managed to send me food and a few things.” Remus was visibly excited at the beginning of the week. He was going to light the Menorah each day with Lily, exchanging gifts too.
"Remus! Your mother has sent you sufganiyot, I'm so happy." Lily couldn't contain her energy, she was bursting sun rays from all of her pores. "I love her, tell her that in a letter, I beg you. My parents have sent me latkes too.”
"I've got dreidels! I think we can all play. Would you like to, Sirius?” Remus asked the black-haired boy, who was very busy studying each one of Remus’ eyelashes.
“Only if you teach me beforehand, I need to beat James at this, it’s really important for my ego, you see.” And Remus laughed at that comment. Sirius counted that as a personal win for him.
The days went by and it was the moment to decide what to do during the holidays. The four boys were in their shared bedroom trying to come up with a solution.
“I’d love to stay here and accompany Moony during the full moon, but my mother wants me to be there as soon as possible to help her prepare everything for Christmas. All my family is going to come to my house, so it has to be perfect. Honestly, I’d rather be here.” Peter stated, looking genuinely sorry for not being able to stay with his friends.
“I understand, Wormtail, it’s no problem. I’ve got Poppy here, so it won’t be an issue. She will take good care of me and I’ll be ready to go to James’ house. I don’t want you three to miss something because of me.” Remus took his cane and stood up from Peter’s bed, where their chess match had just finished, heading to his bed next to Sirius’.
“Well… I have Wormtail’s problem too. My parents want to cook so much food for all of you to eat. And I have already told them that they could use magic, but of course they prefer to do it themselves. Why do we even have magic if we can’t use it for these kinds of things?” James said this while laying dramatically on his bed. Sirius cackled and tried to explain his idea without sounding like he had already thought about this for a long, long time.
“Okay, boys. Hear me out. Not to brag, but my animagus form is the most useful in extreme cases like this, if you think about it. So, I was thinking that you two,” He pointed at James and Peter, “go home and be with your families. I don’t really care about Christmas’ Eve, otherwise, I wasn’t even going to celebrate it at James’, since his family doesn’t. I can stay here with Moony, I help him during the full moon and the 26th we can leave when he is ready. What do we all think about this?” Almost immediately, and a tad nervous he looked at Remus, searching for some sort of approval. Remus looked at him back so entenderly that Sirius felt like he was floating. What if he was blushing? For once, he didn’t care.
“I, for one, think that’s a brilliant idea, Padfoot.” Remus smiled at him.
“Alright, lads. I guess that’s what we are going to do. I just want to tell you, Moony, that you don’t have to pressure yourself. Come when you feel ready, okay? No silly business, I will make sure Sirius only brings you if you feel comfortable.” James pointed a finger right at Remus.
“Fine, fine. Just don’t make Sirius babysit me all the time. I’m willing to hide that mirror of yours.” Remus tried using a menacing voice, but he ended up bursting out laughing. And they all laughed right after him.
Everything was good.
Peter and James left the 22nd with the rest of the students, just a few remained at the school. Therefore, Remus and Sirius were completely alone in the Gryffindor tower. They had time until the full moon to do what they pleased.
They were in their room, each one in their respective beds, laying on their backs. In the background, the album Let It Be was playing.
“I’m still sad, you know? About The Beatles breaking up. Maybe it was meant to be, though. At least we got this album.” Remus said, breaking the ice. However, the silence between them had been comfortable.
“Wow, Remus. Didn’t know you were actually sad about that. I like them but they are not my favourite band. You made me enjoy their music, actually.” Sirius confessed.
“Well, you have to agree that Paul was a total babe. Have you seen his hair? Not better than yours, of course, but still. Really smooth and wild. And that beard, Sirius. Maybe I just like Paul and not the band.” An immense bark came out from Remus, as he was just laughing his arse off after saying that.
“Alright, keep your knickers on. He was indeed the cute one, but his charm comes from his songs.” The Long And Winding Road started playing while Sirius was talking.
“I adore this song! Come on, Sirius,” Remus took his cane to approach the other boy. “Would you like to dance this one with me?” He offered Sirius his hand. The other boy, still seated on his bed, couldn’t believe his luck. He bit his bottom lip and took Remus’ hand.
“I can’t refuse to slow dance with you.”
The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Will never disappear
I've seen that road before
It always leads me here
Lead me to you door
Sirius put his hands around Remus’ waist, so he could rest his arms on his shoulders. Sirius gently took the cane and left it next to them, in case it was needed. They started to move following Paul McCartney’s voice, stroking the keys on the piano while singing the soothing melody.
Remus looked directly at Sirius’ eyes and wet his lips.
“You look beautiful tonight.” He stated, very softly. “Actually, you look perfect.” A shy smile took over his mouth, little dimples appearing around it. Sirius thought that was lovely. He was lovely.
“Careful there, Moony. Someone could think that you are trying to flirt with me.” Sirius teased him.
“Maybe I am trying to flirt with you.” He looked away for a second and returned to look at Sirius’ face.
“Remus, I-“
“I’m sorry, was that too much? I don’t want to make you feel weird.” He almost retreated his grab on Sirius, but he made sure to make his grip on his waist firm.
“No, it wasn’t too much. It was perfect, and I am definitely not feeling weird in the slightest. I’m feeling great.” He said, reassuring Remus that it wasn’t a misunderstanding, that they were on the same page.
Without hesitation, Remus kissed him. A quick peck on their lips, leaving Sirius’ mouth too soon.
“You just kissed me." Sirius couldn't believe that had happened, but he was still wondering if it was going to be just like every single time. He needed to know.
"No other intention?" He added, quietly.
Remus shook his head and let out a breathy laugh. "No hidden intentions, Padfoot."
"No one kisses me just to kiss me, just for the hell of it." And Sirius looked away, to the burning fire on their side. His heart was beating so fast he could feel it burning as well.
“I have always wanted to kiss you, you know.” Remus said easily, cupping Sirius’ cheeks, as if Sirius was the most precious thing he could hold.
“I have to admit that I have wanted to kiss you for the longest time, Remus. So please, kiss me again.” He begged, feeling so full of love he could stay in that moment forever.
Remus obeid, and they both said everything they wanted to say with that kiss.
It was simple, it was sweetness. It was good to know.