Chapter 9
It hadn’t even been a week since Draco had requested to brew some things before he had started brewing like a madman. The kitchen and living room perpetually smelled like potions ingredients and steam, something Harry was all too happy to escape under the guise of caring for the garden. Some of them were entirely too pleasant to be around for more than a few minutes.
Eventually, though, Harry did manage to convince Draco to actually put potions away for an evening. He waited until the blond had relaxed in his chair before asking what he’d been brewing the last few days and was a bit surprised to see Draco’s eyes light up.
“I’ve been brewing all sorts of cosmetic things! I’ve done one for denser hair, one to grow your hair out, another one to make certain things fuller-oh, and tomorrow I’m planning on making one to darken your lips permanently.” Harry smiled and pondered his next move.
“So, just out of curiosity, do you plan on using any of these on yourself?” Draco blushed, but before he could say anything Harry continued on. “Only, I think it’s great you’re brewing all these things and clearly you enjoy making yourself look a certain way and I feel like these things would only help in that department if that’s what you want.”
“And not once did you think to yourself that it’s weird or undesirable to do that to yourself?”
“No.” Harry’s blunt answer must have taken Draco off guard because he sat back, clearly wanting further explanation.
“No, I don’t think it’s weird and I certainly don’t think it’s undesirable. In fact, I think I’d rather be with someone who was so comfortable in themselves that they’d be able to take that step simply because I would want to be with someone who actually was true to themselves and not letting others dictate who they can and can’t be.” He shrugged and took another bite of his food. “But what do I know, I haven’t been able to hold a romantic relationship my entire life so perhaps my viewpoint is a bit skewed.”
“You-you wouldn’t mind being with someone that’s trying to look like a different person altogether?”
“Fuck, no! It’s not a secret between me and my friends that my eyes wander to any attractive form-look, for me it isn’t about the body so much as the person that’s within it.” Harry could see tears forming in Draco’s eyes, so he softened his voice a bit. “Look, Draco, you don’t need to tell me anything but…look, we’ve spent the last two years living in fairly close quarters completely shut off from society save a message from my friends with bare essentials in. You know you can come to me with anything, even if it’s just to talk or to work your way through some feelings you might be having, right? I’m not here to judge you. This all started out as me taking a protection case, but at this point it’s a bit more than that. I don’t really care about protecting you because it’s my job, I care about protecting you because I care about you. I might not be able to empathise with whatever it is that’s going on in your mind but I would like the chance to try and understand if you want to talk to someone.”
“Thank you.” Draco’s voice didn’t waiver, but he definitely looked like he was struggling to remain calm as he stood and walked towards the bathroom. The shower turned on and Harry took care of the leftovers. He was a bit worried that he’d upset Draco; however, he also knew that Draco was likely emotionally overwhelmed with having someone that was willing to hear him out on something that he’d only recently been able to dabble with. He’d give it time. If Draco wanted to talk, then Draco would come to him.
He did expect that Draco would talk to him about it at some point. What he did not expect was Draco coming out of the shower with damp hair, a form fitting cami and a pair of Harry’s oversized sweats on. He also didn’t expect him to plop down on his side of the couch sideways to face Harry with his feet on the middle cushion and he most certainly didn’t expect Draco to start talking straight away with no warning.
“I like having my bits and bobs. But I also like being feminine and often find that I swing a bit more to that side of things when I’m not in a courtroom. That being said, after all this is said and done, I never want to see another courtroom again. I can’t bear the thought of sitting through hours and hours of needless bureaucracy and worming my way through a legal system that, frankly, doesn’t pay as well as it should for the mind numbing bullshit that happens. And especially after all these cases…I just don’t think I want to put myself in that position any longer.” Harry nodded in complete agreement. He’d always thought being a prosecutor would be mind numbing work, and especially after seeing Draco do some of his research for a nonexistent case, he definitely didn’t want to know just how incredibly boring it could get.
“So what do you want to do when we go back to society?” Draco scrunched up his nose at the question. In Harry’s opinion, it made him look incredibly cute.
“I want things that people would scoff at so I’m likely not going to get them. I want to dress the way I like, but society will just turn their noses at me for going against the badass in court I used to be and the papers will turn their opinions on me. I likely won’t be able to get another job like that, so I’ll have to hide myself away-”
“No, what do you want. That’s different from what you think you’ll have.”
“Oh, I…” He huffed and thought for a moment. “I want to have a family; a real family. I want a husband that loves me and doesn’t care about my body being different, I want to carry my own children and…I just want to be loved and happy.”
“I can empathise with you there. Oh don’t look at me like that. Who on this planet would date the famous Boy-Who-Lived for anything more than a gossip story and social status? Everyone wants Harry Potter, the one who lived to tell the tale twice, the incredibly good auror, the Witch's Weekly whatever headline they put that week. They don’t want Harry, the guy that forgets to brush his teeth half the time before work but won’t skip breakfast, the guy who bought a safehouse and treats it like a sacred sanctuary when he’s off of work, the guy who keeps his best friend’s houseplants from dying while they live in her office. They don’t want Harry, they want Harry Potter.”
“Fools.”
“What?”
“Fools, the lot of them. Who the fuck wouldn’t want you for you? I mean, you keep a plant alive for a friend so they can enjoy it and not you. You sacrificed yourself for strangers again and again and never once asked for anything in return. You’re selfless, you’re always prepared, you’re kind, you’re funny, you’re incredibly resourceful-don’t even argue with that! You not only bought your own property but then outfit it to completely run off the grid and found a way to not only grow your own food but how to prepare, preserve and properly cook it too! You’re insanely supportive, you give all that you can to those who need it and you’re rich. And before you say anything, that only means that you can ensure you can provide for your family financially should something catastrophic arise. And that you can quit your job if you want to and do whatever catches your fancy and your partner won’t have to worry about uprooting their current lives to find a job to support you both. It’s less pressure on them.”
Harry just stared at the blond. He was flabbergasted that someone would think so highly of him, nevermind that it was Draco who thought that way. Clearly he’d given it some thought as to what it would be like to live with him. He was a good prosecutor and good at thinking on his feet but he wasn’t that good that he could come up with all that without having thought about it at some point beforehand.
“Draco, can I ask you something?”
“You just did, but sure; ask me anything.”
“Have-have you thought about what it would be like to be in a relationship with me?” Draco’s skin immediately flushed bright pink as he spluttered.
“Wha-I-Wh-N-Well-What would make you think that? No. Well…no. Maybe. That’s not the point here.”
“Alright, I’ll drop that for a moment and ask a different question.”
“Yes, I think that might be the right way to go.” Draco was flushed and clearly trying to look anywhere but at Harry. It was kind of cute, in a slightly frustrating way.
Since Draco wouldn’t turn and look directly at Harry, he decided to take matters in his own hands and leaned forward until they were directly in front of each other. He reached out and gently took Draco’s chin in his hand to guide his face up so he’d have to look at Harry. They were closer than Harry had intended and the question he was going to ask went straight out the window as soon as he opened his mouth. Instead, he heard himself asking something he hadn’t meant to ask.
“May I kiss you?” Draco’s silver eyes went wide, even as he nodded. The two leaned towards each other with bated breath until finally, finally, their lips met.
To say that it was bliss would be an understatement. Harry could literally feel magic, their magic, reach up and touch through their skin in a fiery collision that made his mouth tingle. They both gasped and separated in shock at the feeling. Draco’s hand flew to his lips, his eyes wide and Harry was sure his mouth was on the floor. He had no clue what just happened, but whatever it was, he wanted more of it.