Chapter 4
A few days had passed since Vi’s confrontation with Tobias. The man took the night to think about what she said, and Vi was a little pleased with herself when Tobias left his room in the morning. He had made an effort, thought it was a quiet and tentative thing, like a man unsure of how to wade back into the life he’d abandoned.
Vi tried to make herself scarce whenever he approached Caitlyn. She couldn’t forget how he’d told her he wanted her out of the house, how he didn’t want to see her. She had no doubts that her outburst had only made his feelings toward her worse, tenfold.
But when she walked down the hallway one afternoon and heard the soft murmur of voices coming from the library, her gut twisted. It was Tobias and Caitlyn.
Vi stepped into the library just in time to catch the tail end of Tobias’s voice, low and uncertain. He was sitting on the couch, his posture stiff as he spoke to Caitlyn, his words sounding like an attempt to reach her. But Caitlyn wasn’t responding in the way he hoped. She was standing too still, her arms crossed tightly over her chest, her eyes focused on the floor.
Vi glanced between the two, wondering if Tobias could see that Caitlyn’s body language was screaming that she needed out of the situation and to be done with talking. Could he see that his daughter was looking at him with a mask in place to keep herself composed?
Tobias spoke again, his voice gentle but still unsure. Vi could tell, with a sinking heart, that she’d have to intervene. Caitlyn wasn’t just silent; she was overwhelmed and shutting down. She couldn’t wait for Tobias to figure it out.
Vi cleared her throat loudly and stepped forward into the library, her presence cutting through the fragile moment.
“Cait,” she said firmly, though her voice softened as she spoke to her. “Come with me for a second.”
Tobias looked up sharply, a flicker of annoyance crossing his face.
“Vi, what—?” His voice was defensive, almost angry, and he stood up from the couch, his eyes narrowing as he took in Vi’s stance.
“Caitlyn.” Vi ignored him completely, her attention solely on Caitlyn. She reached out a hand. “Let’s step out for a minute.”
Caitlyn’s eyes trailed down to the hand being offered out to her. She reached out and took it.
Vi pulled her closer and Caitlyn didn’t fight her. Her movements were slow, unsure, but she let Vi guide her toward the hallway, her head bowed, her eyes distant. Vi kept her hand on Caitlyn’s back, leading her away from the tension.
Once they were in the hallway, Vi closed the door behind them and turned Caitlyn to face her, her hands warm on her shoulders. She didn’t wait for Caitlyn to speak—she could see the exhaustion and the sadness in her face, the way her body was so tightly wound, as though she were afraid that letting go would break her.
Vi knew what she needed. She pulled her in, wrapping her arms around Caitlyn tightly and guiding her head to hide away in the crook of her neck.
Caitlyn’s body trembled, her breath hitching as she leaned into Vi’s embrace. Vi could feel the weight of her emotions that Caitlyn had been bundling up before Caitlyn’s shoulders shook as a quiet sob broke free, muffled against Vi’s shoulder.
Vi rocked them from side to side, her hand running up and down Caitlyn’s spine. She didn’t really mind Caitlyn crying on her. She’d carry whatever Caitlyn couldn’t.
“You don’t have to be strong, Cupcake,” Vi murmured into her hair, her voice soft but steady. “Not for me. I’ve got you. I’m right here. You don’t need to carry it all by yourself. I’ll cover you, okay? Whatever you need, I’m here.”
Caitlyn gave a jerky nod against her shoulder. A mumbled apology was swallowed up by the fabric of Vi’s shirt.
“You don’t need to be sorry,” Vi told her firmly. “I’m not mad.”
Vi was frustrated that she couldn’t seem to fix things and give Caitlyn what she needed. Caitlyn didn’t deserve to carry everything on her own. She shouldn’t have to be the strong one all the time. Vi had been there, done that, and she wasn’t going to let Caitlyn fall into that trap.
Caitlyn burrowed into her, trusting her to watch her back while she composed herself again.
The hall was quiet around them. Vi’s mind briefly flickered to Tobias, who was probably still sitting in the library, likely still confused by what had just happened. He was trying, Vi could give him that. But Caitlyn didn’t need more words or half-hearted gestures. She needed presence and she needed someone who could see when she was shutting down, when she was breaking, and help her bend.
“You’re not alone in this, Cupcake,” Vi murmured, her thumb lightly tracing circles on Caitlyn’s back. “Not anymore. I’m here. And I always will be, okay?”
Caitlyn sniffled and nodded against her shoulder, but Vi could still feel the tremors in her body.
Just as Vi was about to pull back, she caught a flicker of movement at the end of the hallway—Tobias. He was standing there, leaning against the doorframe of the library, watching them. His arms were crossed tightly, his posture rigid. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes were fixed on them, watching with an intensity that made Vi’s chest tighten.
For a moment, it was as if time paused. Vi held Caitlyn close, rocking her gently, the woman still unaware of Tobias’s presence. It was hard to read his expression. His face was neutral, but there was something in his eyes. Regret, maybe. Or guilt. Or perhaps even understanding. Whatever it was, it was softer than the sharp anger he’d thrown at her before. He wasn’t angry anymore.
He was quiet.
Vi didn’t know what to make of it. She didn’t care to, not at the moment. She had Caitlyn, and that was her focus. She wouldn’t let him intrude, not when Caitlyn needed to feel safe and not when Tobias hadn’t yet shown her he could truly provide that.
Caitlyn pulled away slightly, her eyes red and puffy, but the mask was gone. She didn’t need it for Vi. They’d both seen each other in teary messes and cried themselves sick, there wasn’t much to hide from each other.
“How are you feeling?” Vi asked, her voice softer.
Caitlyn took a deep breath, still not speaking, but there was a slight nod. Vi didn’t push. She knew Caitlyn wasn’t likely to be very talkative.
Vi glanced back at Tobias, still standing in the doorway, his arms hanging loosely at his sides. He wasn’t leaving, but he hadn’t moved closer, either. For a moment, Vi considered saying something to him, confronting him again. But she didn’t need to.
Caitlyn had already spoken louder than any words could, just by trusting Vi to hold her. Vi had proven she could be there for Caitlyn when Tobias couldn’t. The rest was up to him.
“Come on, Cupcake,” Vi said, squeezing Caitlyn’s shoulder as she gently nudged her forward. “Let’s get you away from all this for a while. I think we both need some fresh air, huh?”
Caitlyn nodded, her hand slipping into Vi’s as they walked away, but before they got too far, Vi caught a glance of Tobias out of the corner of her eye. He was still standing in the doorway, watching them, his expression unreadable. She held his gaze for a moment, just long enough for him to understand that she got her, and that he was going to have to catch up.
And then they walked, Caitlyn’s hand tightly gripping hers as they made their way toward the front door. Vi didn’t look back again, but in the corner of her mind, she wondered if Tobias was starting to understand what he had to do now. It didn’t matter, not right now. She had Caitlyn, and that was all that mattered.
Word spread fast in the Undercity. It was like a wildfire, burning quickly and touching everything in its path.
Vi wasn’t sure who said it, who saw it, or who confirmed it. The moment she dared to try and step foot back, those who recognized her by the name on her face knew exactly who she was.
“A Piltie fucker,” sneered the first. “An Enforcer lapdog.” They’d heard Vi was living it cushy with the Kirammans, and to them, that made her no better than a traitor.
“You’re not welcome here,” they said.
Vi had nothing left to give except the anger boiling in her veins. The Undercity was always ready for a good fight.
A group of them jumped her, thinking she had a pocketful of cogs. Somewhere between kicking seven of their asses, they managed to sink a blade between her ribs.
The familiar burn of severed skin was comforting in a way. The thick copper smell and warmth seeping through the fabric of her shirt was like a balm to her torn nerves.
She pressed her hand against it, sucking in a sharp breath at the jolt of white-hot pain that surged through her.
It wasn’t until the adrenaline filtered through her system and dumped out that she realized Caitlyn was going to be pissed.
Vi stumbled through the Undercity, moving slower as the world around her seemed to shift. She trudged back Topside, feeling like the traitor they accused her of being. The path to the Kiramman estate was blurry, but she kept her eyes forward, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other.
When she finally reached the gates, she barely managed to push through the front door, her vision swimming in and out of focus. She was relieved to find the quiet of the estate, knowing Caitlyn was at work and she had time to patch herself up and make things less dire.
Vi did her best to stay upright and keep her blood off anything priceless as she navigated her way through the halls toward the room she shared with Caitlyn. She had to pause a few times, unable to catch her breath, adjusting her grip on her side to stem the gush of blood.
The sound of footsteps behind her made her stop. She let her eyes close and her head dip in resignation.
“Vi.” Tobias’s voice was hoarse. “What are you doing?”
Vi honestly didn’t know how she should respond. Bleeding out?
The sound of footsteps against the rug signaled Tobias’s approach. She did her best not to flinch as he gripped her shoulder and turned her toward him. His eyes locked onto the blood soaking her side.
“Let me see,” he ordered, straightening up. “What happened?”
“I got a little stabbed,” Vi retorted, torn between showing him the wound or baring her teeth like a dog to make him go away.
“Let me see,” he repeated, his hand falling on top of hers, unbothered by the slick blood. “You’ll probably need stitches.”
Vi thought of how he treated Caitlyn’s injuries and reluctantly peeled her hand away to expose her vulnerability.
Tobias lifted her shirt, wiping away a smear of blood with his thumb to get a better look before saying, “You need a few stitches. I assume you’re opposed to going to a clinic?”
“Fuck that,” Vi growled, gritting her teeth as his touch sent another wave of pain through her.
Tobias pulled away, pressing her hand back against the wound. “If you’re not opposed, I can deal with it.”
Vi wanted to tell him she wouldn’t trust him with a paper cut, let alone a stab wound, but she knew she didn’t have the luxury to be picky. “Fine.”
With a hand on her shoulder, Tobias steered her in a different direction, settling her on the edge of the tub in his bathroom. She watched him pull out the medical kit he’d used for Caitlyn.
Tobias had Vi roll her shirt up and hold it there to expose her stomach and then he got to work. It was quiet at first as Vi focused on her breathing and how cold his fingers were against her skin. She was dizzy and lightheaded, gripping her stained shirt tightly as Tobias wiped away the blood with a fresh towel.
“You mentioned the other day that you were the oldest child,” he said, pinching the edges of her wound together, making Vi suck in a sharp breath.
She was surprised he was trying to make conversation. Maybe it was because she literally had nowhere to go to escape from it, or because he was trying to keep her from passing out. “Yeah. I was.”
“Tell me about them,” Tobias said, reaching for the needle prepped with thread. “Where are they?”
“What do you think?” Vi snapped, grimacing as the needle pierced her flesh and tipping her head back to glare at the ceiling. “If I had people to go back to, I probably would’ve gone home.”
Tobias steadied her with a hand on her hip, silently urging her to sit still. Vi did her best, taking a shaky breath.
“They’re dead,” she finished, her voice flat. The needle pierced her flesh again. “I couldn’t protect them.”
Tobias’s hand faltered briefly mid-stitch before continuing. The thread pulled tight, and Vi exhaled through her teeth.
“There were four of us.” Vi’s chest ached, the pain of the stitch mirroring the ache in her heart. “I was the oldest. I had to look out for them. Two brothers, a sister. All... all of them dead before I turned sixteen.”
She didn’t want to think about Jinx. Didn’t want to think about the stranger wearing her sister’s face, didn’t want to think about the burning desire to find her and hold her close, even as Caitlyn set up to hunt her down.
“How?” Tobias asked softly.
Vi let out a bitter laugh, shaky and empty. "Does it matter?" She shifted slightly, but Tobias kept her steady, guiding her back into position.
Tobias didn’t answer immediately, just focused on the stitching. His silence spoke volumes. When he finally spoke, his voice was low. “Sometimes it helps to talk about it.”
Vi clenched her jaw. “I don’t need your pity.” She wasn’t sure why she snapped, but something about him trying to make it feel like a moment of shared grief felt wrong. Maybe it was the way he’d been absent during Caitlyn’s pain, or because she knew that whatever bond she’d shared with her family, the Kirammans, and their life wasn’t the same.
Tobias tied another stitch.
“They needed me,” Vi continued. “I was supposed to step up and lead them, but when they needed me, I made the wrong call.” She couldn’t stop thinking about what would have happened if she had looked after her siblings instead of chasing Vander. He’d probably have died anyway. Vi would have to step up and be who he wanted her to be, but her siblings would be alive. She’d still have Powder. “I wasn’t there when it mattered.”
Tobias didn’t answer immediately, the sound of the needle pulling through her skin filling the space between them. Her words hung in the air, heavy with regret. For a moment, it seemed like the weight of her guilt pressed down on him too.
Finally, his voice was quieter than before. “You can’t blame yourself for everything, Vi. You were... you were a child. It’s not like you had all the answers back then.”
Vi stiffened at his words. “You don’t get it. I was supposed to protect them. I was supposed to keep everything together when it all fell apart. And I couldn’t do it. I failed them.” The words tasted like ash in her mouth, but they spilled out anyway.
“I never had to protect anyone,” Tobias said suddenly, his voice low but steady, as if he was speaking more to himself than to Vi. “I was always the one being protected. My mother… she tried, I think, but she was too caught up in her own things to actually be there when I needed her. My father… he wasn’t around. And Caitlyn…” He paused, his breath catching, but then he shook his head and focused on finishing the stitch.
Vi didn’t say anything. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to say to that.
“Maybe that’s why I don’t know what to do with Caitlyn,” Tobias muttered, barely above a whisper as he worked. “I didn’t know how to be a father. I don’t know how to be there for her when she needs me. And I—” He cut himself off, the words hanging there unspoken.
Vi could feel the tremor in his hand as he tied off the last stitch, and she realized that he was more broken than he’d let on. Maybe more broken than she’d ever realized. She couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for him, even after everything he’d done, everything he hadn’t done.
She inhaled sharply, her chest tight with the mix of emotions swirling inside her. “You don’t get it,” she said. “Cait needs you. She doesn’t need you to fix everything. She just needs you to show up. Just show up and be there, even if you don’t have all the answers. She can’t do it alone.”
Tobias finished the last stitch, his hand resting on her side for a moment as if to steady her. He didn’t look up, but she could feel the weight of his gaze, as though he were processing everything she’d said.
Finally, he spoke, his voice quieter than before. “I’m trying, Vi. I just... don’t know if it’s enough.”
Vi met his gaze, her heart pounding. “It won’t be. It’s never going to be enough. But it’s better than nothing.”
He looked at her for a long moment, his eyes searching hers, like he was trying to understand something she didn’t have the words for. Then, without another word, he stood up, reached for a clean towel, and wiped his hands.
They said nothing as Tobias applied a clean dressing over the wound. Vi caught a glimpse of six neat stitches on her skin before she listened to the sound of him washing his hands. She finally let her shirt drop, grimacing at the sticky feeling left behind on her skin.
With a deep sigh, Vi slowly pulled herself to her feet, taking a steadying breath. The wound on her side still stung, but it wasn’t as bad as before.
“Thanks,” she said quietly, glancing at Tobias as she started to walk toward the door.
Tobias didn’t answer right away. But as she reached for the door, he spoke, his voice softer than she expected.
“Vi,” he said, and she turned to look at him.
He gave her a subtle nod, something in his eyes that wasn’t there before—something that felt like recognition. “I’ll try harder with Caitlyn. I’ll figure it out. I don’t know everything, but I’m learning.”
Vi nodded, not trusting herself to say anything else, and stepped out of the bathroom, leaving him behind.
She changed out of her stained clothes, cleaning herself up before going to the bedroom and sank into the sheets of the bed.
She wasn’t sure if what she’d told Tobias was the truth, or just the version she wanted to believe. She wasn’t sure if she could truly cross Powder off of the list of people who were dead.
She thought Powder might be dead. She worried she was truly killed by Silco for many years, hope only daring to flare up the moment Caitlyn showed her those pictures with the monkey symbol. She’d mourned a sister she thought she failed, and she wasn’t sure what to do with the complicated entanglement of the emotions left festering in her chest after figuring out she was alive.
Vi fell asleep, only to wake to the sound of the bedroom door opening hurriedly and Caitlyn’s feet crossing the room quickly. The bed dipped beside her, and she opened her eyes to see Caitlyn’s worried face inches from hers. Her eyes were wide, scanning her, a tightness around her mouth that made Vi feel instantly guilty.
Tobias probably told her.
“Vi…” Caitlyn’s voice was full of concern as her hands instinctively moved toward Vi’s side. She didn’t wait for a response, already pulling back the blanket and gently lifting Vi’s shirt to inspect the gauze.
Vi let her, but the weak chuckle that escaped her lips felt forced. “Guess you’re gonna yell at me now, huh?”
Caitlyn’s gaze flickered with disbelief, her brow furrowing as she met Vi’s eyes. “What happened?” she demanded.
Vi shrugged, fighting the dizziness that tugged at her. “I got into a little scuffle.”
Caitlyn’s hands hovered over her side, unsure whether to touch or not, but her eyes never left Vi’s wound. “Who did this? Who hurt you?” she pressed, her voice softer but urgent.
Vi felt a pang in her chest. She didn’t want to answer. She didn’t want to admit how far she’d fallen. “Does it matter?” she replied, tone flat, trying to make it sound like she didn’t care. "It’s just the Undercity. It's not anything new."
"Of course it matters, Vi," Caitlyn said, her voice firm. “Someone did this to you. You can’t just let it slide.”
Vi rolled onto her side to face away from Caitlyn. Caitlyn’s hand fell away, and Vi heard her breath hitch.
Vi didn’t want to talk about it. She didn’t want to think about it. There were very few things left about her identity that she was sure of, and being a Zaunite had been one of them. But what kind of Zaunite wasn’t even allowed in the Undercity?
She listened to the sound of Caitlyn moving before two thuds hit the ground. Then, Caitlyn shifted her weight to crawl into bed behind her.
Vi pressed her cheek harder into the pillow as Caitlyn slotted against her back. Caitlyn’s fingers swept through her hair gently, and Vi squeezed her eyes shut.
She probably could go back to the Undercity. They’d accept her again—but at a price. She’d have to prove herself, bleed to show her loyalty, and be branded a defect. She’d have to leave Piltover and Caitlyn behind for good.
“I don’t know who I am anymore,” she mumbled.
Caitlyn’s thumb moved along the shaved part of her hair. “You’re still you.” Her voice was certain. Her hand moved to touch the tattoo on Vi’s cheek, tracing the VI inked there. “You’re Vi. That’s enough.”
It sounded so simple when she said it.
Vi had tattooed her name on her face. VI. Five and one. Six.
Vi. Violet. Violent. VI. 516.
They were all the same person, weren’t they?
Vi wished it were that simple.
“Are you busy?”
Vi turned to look at Tobias, standing in the doorway of the library. She was skimming through a book about innovations announced during the last Progress Day, trying to make sense of it. “Not really.”
Tobias hesitated in the doorway before asking, “May I speak with you?”
Vi’s defenses were instantly raised at the quiet tone he took with her. There was no anger or disgust or resentment. She didn’t trust it.
“I guess,” she mumbled, closing the book in her hand. “What’s up?”
Tobias stepped into the room, his hands clasped together in front of him. His posture was different from the defensive stances she’d grown used to. He looked hesitant, shifting uncomfortably as if unsure of how to start or what to say.
Vi set the book down, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes as she watched him. Her instincts told her to stay guarded, to keep her distance.
“Vi,” he began, his voice softer than she expected. “I owe you an apology. For how I treated you... especially after everything that's happened.” He glanced away for a moment, as though the weight of his own words was difficult to bear. “Grief clouded my judgment. I took it out on you, and I was wrong. I didn’t understand… well, I didn’t understand a lot of things.”
Vi raised an eyebrow. Of all the things he could say, an apology hadn’t even crossed her mind.
"I... I didn’t understand the nature of your relationship with Caitlyn,” Tobias admitted, his voice softer. "It wasn’t until I saw you two the other day, in the hallway, that I realized just how much you care for her. I’m sorry for not seeing it sooner. For not trusting her to make her own choices."
Vi’s stomach twisted slightly, but she didn’t let her guard down completely. She wasn’t sure if he was truly sorry or if this was some kind of manipulation, but his sincerity seemed to reach her, just a little.
He took a slow step closer, his voice taking on a more serious tone. “Vi... please, look out for her. Don’t hurt her. I know you care about her, but I need to hear you promise me that you’ll protect her. Keep her safe.”
Vi was silent for a moment, her heart pounding in her chest. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Caitlyn. “I just want her happy,” she said quietly, her voice thick with emotion. “I’ll protect her. You have my word.”
Tobias stared at her for a long moment, as though weighing her words, before nodding slowly. “I’m glad to hear that,” he murmured. “You’ve been there for her when I failed to. You had to pull me out of it. Cassandra… Cassandra would be so upset with me if she saw what I had done. She would have given me a talking-to, much like you did.”
Vi wasn’t sure what to say to that.
“You’ve done nothing but look out for this family, and I thank you for that,” Tobias said sincerely. “You’ve stayed despite everything. I admire your resilience. I was wrong about you.”
Vi felt like she was dreaming. She struggled to find the words to respond.
Tobias took a few more steps toward her. “I do not know much of your past, but I can see that you have a good heart.” He reached into his pocket and Vi tensed up, ready to take a step back and run, her fingers curling into fists.
Tobias pulled his hand out to reveal two small brass keys on a metal ring. He held it out to her. Vi’s brow furrowed in confusion as she looked at it and then back at him.
“A key to the front door, and a key to the gate,” Tobias said. “You don’t have to hide from me anymore. You’re welcome here, Vi.”
“Really?” Vi asked quietly. She needed to know he was serious. She needed to know he was serious. He couldn’t just offer something like that and then take it back.
“Really.” Tobias’s hand didn’t waver, and when Vi hesitantly reached out, he pressed the keys into her palm. “Thank you for being here, Vi. Even when I was cruel.”
Vi accepted the keys, clutching them so tightly in her fist that the teeth bit into her skin.
“Thank you,” Vi said, her voice surprisingly calm considering the whirlwind inside her chest. “I won’t forget this.”
Tobias nodded, his face softening with what could almost be called relief. “I won’t make the same mistakes again, Vi. I’ll do better. For Caitlyn. For you.”
The cold metal against her palm made something ease in her chest.
It was easier to breathe.