“And no motorbike, Sirius,” Lily said, as she stood outside her house as she held onto Harry, not wanting to give him to Sirius. It was not a surprise to anyone she was hesitant to leave her baby with her friend. Not only was it the first time they were leaving Harry alone, but after all the things Sirius had said he wanted to do with his godson (including taking him on a ride in his motorbike), Lily didn’t want to leave him alone with him. Even James seemed uneasy about the idea. Knowing Remus was tagging along probably helped them decide whether it would be a good idea or not to leave their son.
Sirius was not offended at all by this. Instead, he decided to have fun with it. “Even if Bambi has a helmet?” Sirius smirked pushing Lily’s buttons. He knew that would make Lily even more nervous. She took a tiny step back, still refusing to give Harry to him as he reached for his godson.
By the looks of it, Lily was not the only one she made nervous with his comment. James stood beside Lily with a mortified expression. “Padfoot, please…”
“Sirius!” Remus reprimanded his boyfriend, cutting James off.”
“Lily flower,” he said with a tone of mockery, “I’d never put my godson in any sort of risk.”
“See Lily.” James tried to persuade his wife, but Sirius knew he was most likely trying to persuade himself. “He’ll be fine. I am sure Padfoot and Mooney will be able to care for Harry for a couple of hours.”
Sirius finally managed to take away Harry from Lily’s arms after James reassured her he will be fine. “It could always be worse.” He said to Harry, but loud enough for Lily, James, and Remus to hear. “You could be staying with uncle Wormy. He would probably drop you.” It was true. Peter was very clumsy and would most likely drop Harry without meaning to. That’s why he wasn’t allowed to carry Harry without any supervision.
“We’ll have the time of our lives.” He stepped further away from James and Lily so that they wouldn’t be able to reach for Harry in case they changed their minds at the last second.
“Remus?” Lily pleaded.
“Don’t worry Lily. I’ll make sure Harry stays safe and that Padfoot doesn’t do anything stupid.” Sirius didn’t respond to this, as he was too busy making faces at Harry, trying to get him to laugh. He enjoyed hearing his godson’s laughter. “We will just stay here and watch movies.”
“Do you want to watch Carrie, Bambi?” Sirius whispered to Harry, this time, not intending for anyone to hear.
But he was sure Remus heard him when he stated rather loudly, “Movies for children.”
“Thank you.” She sighed.
“You’re going to miss dinner reservation if you stay any longer,” Sirius said to James and Lily, believing they needed an incentive to finally leave his house.
Sirius took Harry’s tiny hand, which was covered in his own saliva, and waved goodbye with it as his friends finally walked away from the house. “Have fun!”
Lily kept turning her head as she walked away to look at Harry. "Send a patronus if you need help!" He was sure if it wasn’t for James holding her hand, Lily would’ve fully turned around to take Harry back.
∞∞∞
Unsurprisingly, the night went smoothly. After the first hour of Bambi, Harry started to fall asleep, so they put him in his crib to avoid any accidents. Remus was insistent on it. Soon after, Remus followed and fell asleep with his head on Sirius’ lap.
When the credits started to roll Sirius tried his best to move Remus’ head without waking him up so he could switch the movie to The Rescuers. Once the new movie started to play, Harry began to cry.
“It’s alright, Bambi. I am here.” Sirius picked his godson up from his crib and began to rock him to seize the crying. He started humming Claire de la lune to calm him down and that seemed to be the trick. The crying quickly stopped, as Harry attentively looked at Sirius.
He didn’t know how to get Harry to sleep once more, so he decided to take him outside in case he cried again.
“Good thing it’s not cold right now. Your mom would kill me if I took you out if it were cold.”
The night was clear enough for him to see the stars.
After so many years of private tutoring, Sirius had learned plenty about the stars. It was expected of him to learn about them since his family was named after them. He was even able to recognize some of the stars. At least the ones that shared a name with the people he cared for. Which were not a lot.
“Do you see that, Harry?” he asked the baby, who had a strand of Sirius’ hair tangled in his hand. Soon to make its way to his mouth. “Those tiny dots in the sky are called stars. Can you say star?”
Harry was too busy with Sirius’ hair to babble in response. Sirius had to pull his hair away from Harry’s grasp, as he started to pull a bit too hard.
He pointed at a star and said, “That little dot over there, is called Sirius, just like me. If you ever miss me, you can always look up to the night sky and I will be there for you. You may not always see me like the stars above, Harry, but I will always care for you. I will always be there for you, no matter what.” Those were the words he wanted to say to someone else as well, but he never did.
“The one besides Sirius is called Regulus.” He sighed as he pointed at another star. “Once upon a time, there was a little king who had a dog. The dog was very beautiful, indeed. With a long black mane. He treasured the little king. Always felt protective over him. Would have hurt anyone who tried to harm the little king.
The little king and the dog did everything together. It was rare to see them without each other.
Until one day, the dog was sent away for some time. But don’t worry, Bambi, he comes back later for the little prince. They were able to be together once more.” He looked at his godson, who was now fighting to keep his eyes open. Sirius started rocking the baby. His voice was now softer, almost like a whisper to help Harry sleep.
“When they reunited, the dog had a hard time recognizing the little king. It didn’t help that the little king tried to push him away at times. For the first time ever, they started to fight. Nonetheless, the dog still loved the little king very much.
Once the dog was sent away again, the little king decided to come with, so that he wouldn’t be alone again. In the beginning, it was alright, but soon, the little king made the wrong choices and met the wrong people.
The little king had the heart of a lion and trusted too easily. Especially the wrong people. This made the dog very angry. Envious of the people the little king chose over him. The fights became a single ongoing fight. And they began to drift away.
The dog began to grow afraid of the people who stood beside the little king. So afraid that he had to leave him. He couldn’t protect the little king anymore. In the end, the people who stood beside him hurt the little king so much that one day, they killed him.” He choked at the words. “But I won’t let that happen to you, Harry.” His godson was now asleep, and he placed a kiss on his forehead.
“Sirius!” He heard Remus call for him. It was probable that with him and Harry missing, his boyfriend thought he had taken Harry on a ride.
Once more, Sirius looked at the sky before going in. “Happy birthday Reggie. I miss you.”
Sirius made his way inside with Harry, to find an annoyed Remus Lupin, right where he left him, glaring at him. “Did you actually take him?!” The Rescuers was playing behind them.
He shook his head weakly, tears already streaming down his face. He placed Harry in his crib.
“Sirius?” There was concern in his voice.
“It was his birthday today. At least it would have been.” Sirius said softly, giving a weak smile, staring past Remus.
Remus didn’t say anything, not sure at how to respond, as it was rare for Sirius to talk about his brother. The only thing he could think of was giving Sirius a hug. He placed his hand lightly in the back of his head.
“I let him die, Moony.” Sirius crumbled in Remus’ arms and began to cry. He buried his face in his chest, almost muting his cries. “I left my little brother to die there.”