Going Home For Summer Break Starts Here
Monday, June 1st, 1992
The train pulled out of the station at 8:00 A.M., as expected.
Alex was sitting next to the window on the right side with Gracie across from her. On Alex's left was Kat, and next to the door on that side was Blaise. Across from Blaise, next to the door on the left side, was Damian. Finally, in between Damian and Gracie was Lavender Brown.
Alex made eye contact with Lavender as the train left, quickly averting her eyes....She did not like eye contact.
"You okay, Allie?" Gracie asked, if the concern wasn't evident in her voice, the nickname was. That was the only time she called Alex 'Allie'.
"I'm fine, Grace." Alex replied with a huff. Today was...not the vibe.
She was sleepy, grouchy, and wanted everything to be right....Nothing was going to be right! For the next few months her schedule would be thrown to the wind, and when she finally got used to the new one, it would change again!
"What is it?" Lavender questioned, and Alex couldn't help but notice the way he bit the inside of his lip....Alex mirrored him.
"I don't wanna go home." The youngest of the group admitted, releasing her lip. She didn't want Lavender to think she was mocking him after all....Also it wasn't healthy.
"You don't want to go home?" Blaise asked incredulously. "As in: you want to keep going to school over summer?"
"Yes."
"Why?" Kat voiced what everyone else was thinking....Everyone but Gracie.
"She doesn't want her schedule to change." Gracie informed, and Alex nodded....It was the truth after all, and she didn't lie....Usually.
"But....This is a good change." Lavender insisted.
"No change is good."
"Considering that a couple hundred years ago we wouldn't be permitted near each other, or society in general, I think some change IS good." Blaise pointed out.
"That's not change." Alex murmured, head swimming, trying to find a way to express her thoughts. "It's....A correction, making things how they should be....Not change....Change is bad."
"Why do you think change is bad?" Damian eventually spoke up, gentler than the others.
"Because...." Alex didn't know what to say. "....It just is...."
"Why?" Damian prompted again.
"....Why change when everything is perfect? Change is...no....I don't like it...." Alex insisted, flapping her hands in frustration. This was...humiliating.
"Okay." Damian agreed. "Change is bad."
"But, it's not." Lavender disagreed loudly.
"Maybe not to you, but to Alex....If she doesn't like change, she doesn't have to." Damian argued, making a warm, safe, feeling go through Alex's chest....Someone...someone accepted her.
"But, Alex, why don't you like change?" Blaise turned to the right, looking past Kat and at Alex.
"I-just....It's unsafe." Alex couldn't even describe the humiliation, mortification, shame she felt in that moment....It was overpowering....Why was she like this?
"You're safe." Kat assured, but not in a dismissive way, more...supportive. "Is there anything we can do to make the transition easier?"
Alex shrugged. "I just....I just don't want to be alone...."
"You're not alone." Blaise assured. "And we'll visit over the summer too, at least I will....Promise."
"Yeah, and you're stuck with me." Gracie reminded, smiling at her twin.
Alex made herself smile back, at all of them....They were right, she wasn't alone....
Maybe...maybe it could be okay.
Eventually.