Winter break pt. 1
Thursday, December 19th, 1991
Alex ducked behind her small snow 'fort', which was actually just a pile of snow, to hide from the snowball Mathias had thrown at her. The game was 1x1x1 with all three kids having their own team of one. Someone was winning...probably. But, the kids weren't actually keeping score. That fact upset Alex a bit, she didn't mind the lack of a winner. But, it annoyed her that she didn't know how many points each person had. And it was too late to start counting now as she didn't have the information from the past thirty minutes as she hadn't been counting then. But, Alex didn't say anything about it. Mathias and Gracie were fine with it, so she should be too....But, she wasn't.
It was 1:00 P.M. now, they had come out right after lunch. Vernon was at work. He just had to finish today and tomorrow, then he would be off work until Monday, the 30th. As for Petunia, she was inside right now, watching T.V. and knitting.
The knitting was a relatively new thing. Petunia had complained about a lack of things to do back in August. As once September hit, Alex and Gracie would be gone most of the year. Plus, Mathias started school in September and Vernon continued working, so they would be gone most of the day Monday-Friday. This prompted Alex to make a list of things that her mom could try to keep herself busy during the school year. One of those things was knitting, which Petunia had come to love doing.
It was 1:30 now.
Then 2:00.
2:30.
And now it was 3:00.
"Kids! C'mon, it's time to come in." Petunia called at exactly 3:02.33.
Alex immediately started making her way to the door, listening to Mathias grumble behind her. Gracie had sighed in annoyance when their mom had called out, but she also started towards the house.
Despite being closest to the door and the first person to start making their way inside, Alex was not the first person inside. No, she was second. As, despite his complaints, Mathias soon started running for the porch, passing Alex. Gracie came in last, milliseconds after Alex.
As soon as they were inside, Petunia sent the kids to the bathroom to change and put their wet, snowy clothes into the tub. Laundry was typically done on Sunday, but Petunia always washed their snow clothes separately and on the same day they played outside. When Alex asked, Petunia always told her that it was so the other clothes didn't get wet. That didn't really make sense to Alex. The washing machine made all of the clothes wet, right? But, she didn't question it.
Alex changed into a new pair of thick blue jeans and ankle socks, this pair was neon green while her last pair was dark blue. Then she pulled on a a thick, black sweater over top of the black tee-shirt she had already been wearing. Finally, she put on a pair of black, high top, converse. Her hair was already pulled into a ponytail, which she didn't see any point in changing. She also didn't see a point in putting on any makeup or accessories as the day was already over halfway over, anyway. So, she didn't; put on makeup or accessories that is.
The three kids were all finished changing by 3:30, so they all made their way down to the kitchen together. Petunia always made them hot chocolate and some kind of treat for after they played out in the snow. Today, the treat was chocolate chip cookies.
Alex finished her hot chocolate, which was more lukewarm than hot as that's how she preferred it, with both vanilla and chocolate marshmallows on top. Then she ate five cookies. She was glad that it was five. She liked the number five, also five cookies plus one drink made six. And, Alex also liked the number six. Sometimes she couldn't eat/drink a number that she liked. Because she was either too hungry or not hungry enough. That always really upset her, even though it didn't seem to upset anyone else. Most of the time she could just brush it off. It wasn't that big of a deal that she had eaten four sandwiches instead of three or five or that she had forgotten to count the number of chips she ate, so couldn't make sure that it was a multiple of five. But, on certain days, it felt like the most important, and worst, thing in the world. She had gone as far as crying, no sobbing, when it wasn't a number she liked. Which was really embarrassing, especially if it happened in public. But, it wasn't just food and drinks. It was everything.
"Al! You okay?" Gracie asked, looking slightly concerned. Alex couldn't figure out why Gracie was looking so confused and concerned. She didn't like not knowing stuff, especially emotions. That-
"Al!" Gracie said again.
"What?!" Alex snapped. She hated being interrupted, even if it was just in her head. She instantly felt bad, Gracie hadn't done anything wrong. But, she couldn't help it. Today was just an off day, it seemed.
"Are you okay?" Gracie seemed more concerned than hurt by Alex's lack of tact.
"Yes! Why?" Alex tried to make the 'why' softer, but wasn't sure if she succeeded.
"Well, because you were zoned out. And I asked if you were okay, and that seemed to bring you back. But, then you immediately zoned back out." Gracie explained, nervously.
"So? I zone out all the time." Alex still thought she sounded a bit snippy, but she didn't really know how to tone regulate.
"Yeah. Alex does zone out a lot." Mathias agreed.
"I guess. But, you are okay?"
"Yes, Gracie! I'm fine....Really."
Alex checked the clock. It was 4:01 P.M. This fact made Alex slam her head against the table, and sigh.
"Um, Al? What's wrong? Should I get mom?" Gracie asked sounding even more concerned, and a bit nervous. Alex guessed that the best way to convince someone that you were okay was not to get snippy then slam your head against a table. Oh well.
Alex raised her head off the table and turned it to look at Gracie. She noticed that Mathias had left, hopefully not to go get mom. Then she checked the clock to find that two minutes had passed; Alex sighed in annoyance again. "I'm fine. You don't need to get anyone. Don't worry."
"Are you sure? Why did you hit your head on the table? What's wrong?"
"I'm fine!"
"Okay, okay." Gracie conceded, but didn't seem to really believe Alex about whether or not she was okay.
Finally, Gracie left the kitchen, leaving Alex by herself. By herself and very embarrassed. What was wrong with her? Why did she get so annoyed with Gracie? Why couldn't she hide it like she normally would? Why did it being a minute, or three, after 4:00 when she checked the clock instead of exactly four maker her so upset?
Maybe she just needed some sleep. Alex remembered that when she got like this when she was little her mom or dad would always force her to take a nap. She always complained and said that she didn't need or want a nap. But, she always ended up falling asleep and feeling better when she woke up. But, it was 4:00 o'clock, well 4:06, she couldn't go to sleep now. Not if she wanted to fall asleep by 10:00 like she normally did, and she did want to fall asleep by 10:00.
What was that saying? If you're mad at everyone, eat; if you feel like everyone is mad at you, sleep; and if you feel mad at yourself, bath.
The correct response in this situation was to eat, but she had just eaten. So, she wasn't hungry. She couldn't even do the other two things, if they would even help. She couldn't sleep because it was too early to go to bed for the night and too late to nap. And she couldn't take a bath because she took a shower at 6:30 in the morning and a bath at 9:30 P.M. She couldn't bathe/shower at any other time of the day; it would mess up her schedule.
So, what was Alex supposed to do then?
The answer seemed to be: suffer....If she couldn't do anything about her irrational anger and discomfort then she probably shouldn't be around anyone else. She didn't want to hurt them. She didn't really want to be around anyone anyway. Then again, her ignoring them could also hurt her family....There was no winning.
Alex found herself standing in her bedroom, the closed door pressed against her back, a few minutes later. How had she gotten here? Well, she walked, obviously. But, she didn't remember leaving the kitchen, let alone coming in here. But, for some reason, she felt a lot more tired than she had before she had gotten up here. Which was a feat as she had been tired all day, only making it out of bed that morning so her schedule didn't deviate from the norm.
Alex slowly walked to her bed, and fell against it, not at all gently. She then forced herself to sit up, still on the bed, so she could take her shoes off. She did, however, decide to leave on her socks. Alex typically despised wearing socks with no shoes, but she needed the pressure right now. That being said, she felt suffocated in the rest of her clothes, so stripped to be wearing only her underwear and socks. Once dressed to what she decided was an appropriate degree, Alex wrapped herself in her comforter, as tightly as she could manage.
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"Alex!" Someone called from outside the, locked, bedroom door. Said person knocked, again. Though, Alex didn't know that it was an 'again' as she had been sleeping for the last one.
Alex groggily stood up, internally wincing as her foot made contact with her removed clothes, then walked over to the door. She unlocked and opened it, revealing that the other person was Gracie.
Gracie gasped quietly and blushed a bit at seeing her sister. "Al! Where are your clothes?"
Alex pointed to the pile on the floor. She couldn't talk right now. She was tired and it felt like her head was full of cotton.
"Why aren't you wearing them?" Gracie questioned, avoiding looking at her nearly nude twin.
Alex scrunched up her face, indicating disgust in the idea of wearing clothes.
"Well, you have to put them back on." Gracie informed, making Alex shake her head no. "You do!"
Alex shook her head 'no' again.
"Yes, Al. C'mon, it's time for dinner. Just get dressed already." Gracie was clearly starting to get annoyed. But, Alex didn't care. She wasn't getting dressed. And she wasn't going to dinner. She wasn't spending time with her family. She wasn't exercising. She wan't taking a bath. She wasn't brushing her teeth. She wasn't putting on pajamas. She wasn't putting on her hair cap for bed. She wasn't going to bed at 10:00. She wasn't following her schedule.
Her schedule had already been broken. Trying to fix it would just put her through more agony. Besides, Alex wasn't hungry. And she would rather die before putting on more clothes right now. So, that was that.
Alex shut the door, and locked it, before heading back to her bed. She sat down this time, and draped the blanket over her legs and waist instead of wrapping herself back up or ignoring the comforter all together. She considered moving the pillows from where they were sitting at the bottom of her back, but decided against it. That would take too much effort. So would putting her clothes up, so she vetoed that idea as well.
Now what to do?
She didn't want to go back to sleep yet. She had no one to play a card or board game with. A puzzle would take too much energy, plus she would have to move off her bed. She definitely wasn't doing anything that would take her outside. Her head was too full and cottony to read or write. Coloring seemed too energy zapping, let alone any other kind of art. Video games were also a no go do to energy and head-fullness. She didn't want to watch T.V., she probably wouldn't be able to follow the plot anyway. Not only was cooking currently pointless and took way too much energy, but Alex would have to leave her room to do that which wasn't happening. And, well, that's all she could think of.
So, what was she supposed to do?
Alex got up off her bed, intending to put her clothes up, but immediately collapsed to the floor. She was just too tired. She didn't even want to get up off the floor. But, she did....Eventually.
Alex decided to just put on a podcast fic that she had listened to a million times, until she fell back asleep. It took little to no energy, she didn't have to worry about not paying attention to it, and she still got a little, but not too much, mental stimulation. It was perfect.
So, that's exactly what she did. Falling asleep about half-an-hour later. Alex just hoped tomorrow wouldn't be as foggy.